Shadow Chaser (Undeadly Secrets Book 3)

by Aaron L Speer

  “Wow.” Alex shook her head in sympathy.

  “He was just standing there, looking at the ground, his little cheeks twitching, lip trembling. I told him how sorry I was. I mean what else could I say? Then he says ‘I’m not allowed to cry.’”

  “What?”

  Michelle nodded. “I asked him who had told him that. ‘Julian and Vincent. They said—they said a man doesn’t cry. And that I’ll never be one, but I should act like it.’”

  “Geez, those backwards sexist assholes! Perpetuating their damned patriarchical rules no matter who it hurts.” Alex slammed her bottle down on the coffee table.

  “Exactly. I was a mess after he said that. I lost it and hugged him. He started wailing but even through that, he begged me not to tell Dante that he cried.”

  Alex shook her head. Feeling both angry and frustrated, she knew the cost for victory had been high, and she hadn’t been the only one that lost someone dear to them. She had lost her cousin; Nathaniel had lost his mother. The loss of Vincent, however, was not one she’d feel with any remorse.

  “What’s going through that head of yours?” asked Michelle.

  Alex couldn’t put it into words. She just shook her head.

  “You shouldn’t shut people out that only want to help you, hun. That night took something from all of us.” Michelle finished her drink.

  “I know, I’m not trying to. I’m ok, really. I just feel…empty I guess? Dante doesn’t need that. You’re here, and I’m really grateful, Mish.”

  Alex reached across the table for Michelle’s hand and Michelle offered it. She looked like she wanted to speak, that she wasn’t done trying to convince Alex, but instead let out a brief sigh. “You’re welcome.”

  Alex gave her hand another squeeze and leant back, glancing out the window at the night sky. “Wow, it got late quickly! Can you give me a ride back home? I’ve got work tomorrow…” Alex let out a deliberate snort. “Yay!”

  *

  Michelle pulled up outside Alex’s apartment and turned off the ignition. Alex turned to say goodbye, but the driver’s seat was empty. Michelle had already gotten out, seemingly determined to walk her in. Just breathe…

  At the door, Alex hugged Michelle goodbye. Michelle held on just as tight as she did, “Can I do anything?”

  Alex shook her head as it rested on Michelle’s shoulder.

  As they let go, they both turned their separate ways, Michelle towards the car and Alex towards the door. With a trembling hand, Alex reached out to punch in the security code, but the numbers blurred. She scrunched her eyelids and felt the tears streak down her cheeks. She tried to hide it, but in doing so, sucked in a sob. There was no way Michelle didn’t hear it. And as if on call, Alex felt Michelle turn her around and bring her in to her chest.

  “Oh, honey…”

  Alex’s shoulders shuddered as the tears came fast and free. Michelle shushed her and held a gentle hand on the back of her neck, the other caressing her shoulder. They stood there for what felt like an age. “What can I do?”

  “Please don’t go… Don’t go.” Alex hated feeling so needy, but she answered honestly.

  “I’m here. I’m right here.”

  *

  London

  “Name?”

  Nicole cleared her throat and answered the receptionist, who typed a search into the computer. “Ah, yes. I have you. Referred by Dr West. Could you please take a seat and fill this out. Come back when you’re all set.”

  Nicole took the clipboard and sat at the seat farthest from the desk. Just breathe. She had organised this day away from Dr Sarsky specifically to get the procedure done, saying she would like to do some exploring. As she had hoped, he and his boyfriend, Peter James “PJ” Mason, had been most welcoming and kind, and it killed her to lie. But today that ended. It would be hard, but it was the right thing to do and she would get through it. She began the process of filling out the form.

  Name… Date of birth…Est length of pregnancy…

  Shit.

  How far was she along? Two months, roughly? She usually tried not to think about pinpointing it, but now she needed to be as accurate as possible. She reflected back on that night on her parents’ living room floor with Nick. The wonder in his eyes as his hands roamed over her body, the tiny smiles he tried to hide as he touched her. How gentle he was, how patient. She had spent so long denying him, denying herself and what she wanted, when the time came, it was perfect. His mouth travelled to places she hadn’t ever thought to touch herself. Under normal circumstances, making love to him that night, she would’ve been overjoyed conceiving despite it not having been planned. Carrying his child would’ve been a wonderful thing.

  She wrote her estimation and hurried down the form. Her pen hand, once steady, now trembled and she knew why. She thought of the baby as if it was a dream, a fantasy. But it was real. She was pregnant, right now. She had just thought to herself it would’ve been a wonderful thing…would’ve. Being with Nicholas had meant so much to them both, and now she knew there was a meaning, a purpose.

  The pen hovered over the signature space. Fantasy and fairy tales wouldn’t raise this child. Vampires and werewolves existed, but so did bills and choices. She had worked so hard, fallen a few times, and yet with Dr Sarsky’s help, was ready to start fresh. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that she was in this situation, and she would make sure no one suffered because of it, least of all this baby.

  She signed the form and returned it to the desk, wiping stray tears as she did so.

  *

  Nicole tiptoed into the apartment she shared with Dr Sarsky and PJ. It was huge and lavish, and it was kind of Dr Sarsky to allow her to stay with them for free. She had her own little set of rooms on the floor above that she hoped to sneak into unnoticed. She wasn’t in the talking mood. Relieved to find the apartment empty, Nicole gingerly traversed up the stairs. Her chest felt tight, like she’d been holding her breath for ages, and her eyes stung of dried tears. She didn’t even bother undressing or kicking off her shoes, merely crawled on top of the covers and broke down. What had she done?

  The right thing, she told herself. What she had to do.

  She reached for her pillow and hugged it close, letting the tears fall, no longer able to control her sobbing, no longer caring. If she could have one wish in the world, it would be for him to be there one last time, to hold her and say everything would be ok. That he loved her.

  Despite all her inner debates, and the total chaos she knew would follow her choice, she had learnt a harsh truth today.

  She could never kill the child of Nicholas Slade.

  Chapter 5

  In Times Like This

  “Thank you for seeing me.” Alex took a cup of tea that Father Thomas handed to her.

  “It’s no trouble at all. I apologise for it cutting so close to the beginning of class. My door is always open to anyone that needs it. Lately, mine has been quite the revolving one, what with the strange and dreary weather. And besides, you sounded quite perturbed on the phone.”

  “That’s for sure. Father, I want to know how I go about getting a funeral done.”

  The priest frowned a touch and crossed his legs. “Well, I can advise you, of course, but your tone makes me think this might not be a run-of-the-mill service?”

  Alex looked at the floor. “Yes, actually. That’s right. You see, he…there is no body. It was um…there was a fire and there’s nothing to bury…” Alex stopped as her words caught in her throat.

  Father Thomas sat up straight. “Oh, my dear Miss Hensley, I’m very sorry for your loss. Please…don’t be concerned about how this affects a funeral, though. Really, it is more common than you might think to have a service without…” Father Thomas shook his head, perhaps saying a quick, silent prayer before he cleared his throat and continued. “Uh, let me ask, did you have anything specific in mind? Was the gentleman Catholic for example?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Would he have ever r
eceived the last rights, the sacrament, things of that nature?”

  “I don’t know… I’m sorry.” Alex felt like a heel. How could she know so little about Nick when they’d lived under the same roof and gone through so much, even if it was a short time. She had the sense she was letting him down. Again.

  “I see. Well, there is not much I can really tell you at the moment, but I will see what I can do.” he pulled out a pen and pad. “Name?”

  Alex squared her shoulders and willed herself to not cry. “Nicholas Leslie Slade.”

  Father Thomas wrote the first name down but then paused at the second. He looked at Alex with a quizzical expression. “Was that not the young man who—”

  “No, Father.” She cut him off. “I know what you must’ve heard, or read. But it’s not true.”

  “Miss Hensley—”

  “Alex, please.”

  Father Thomas sighed. “Alex. I feel for you, truly. Loss in any shape is a harsh lesson from God, but we all will get through it. Normally, I would happily accommodate you, but in this circumstance I’m afraid I cannot.”

  “Why? What do you mean? Is it because of what was on the news? I just said it’s not true. And don’t priests even have funeral services for rapists and murderers, of all people?” Alex spoke very quickly, her anger rising.

  “Yes, that’s true, but only if the convicted showed remorse before God. If they accept Jesus into their heart and confess their sin. Only then can their soul be saved.”

  “Don’t give me that shit!” Alex balled her hands into fists under the table, so many things running through her mind. She wanted to scream, she wanted to slap him. But somewhere in her mind, reason ebbed away at her. This isn’t personal. He’s doing what he believes, what he knows, what his faith expects of him. Without reason, doubt flooded in, followed by fear, despair.

  Alex covered her face with both hands.

  “Oh, Miss Hensley…Alex. Please don’t—”

  “I’m sorry, Father,” Alex mumbled before quickly wiping at her face. “I am so sick and tired of crying. I know you’re only trying to do the right thing. But so am I. I just want what’s fair for him. He didn’t have a chance. He was only seventeen years old and wrongly accused of a crime he didn’t commit, and he died saving my life and others too. He was a good kid, kind. His mum wanted me to look after him and I failed her. I tried. I tried so hard. But I couldn’t save him… I failed him too.”

  Alex choked on a new flood of tears, struggling for breath. Her face felt hot, swollen; her eyes stung and her head ached. She felt him move next to her, heard a few tissues being removed from a box. Alex looked up at him, blinked through her blurred vision and held the hands that presented the tissues to her. “Father please, I’m begging you. Let me confess for him. I’ll be his voice. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m not religious, I admit that, but I need to do something for him, for his memory. If I don’t, it’s like…not only was his death wasted but so was his life. I have no body, no coffin. There would probably only be me there, but I just want… I want…”

  What do I want? I’m not religious, so what’s the point? Nick had never spoken to her about God, so he could’ve believed in anything. Would he have wanted this? All of a sudden her reason for being there was cloudy. Was it instinct? Desperation? All of the above? But Father Thomas answered for her.

  “You want to say goodbye.”

  That was it. Pure and simple. The one thing she never got to do.

  Father Thomas patted her hands. “All right. I’m going to take a chapter from our Protestant friends and hold a service despite the lack of confession.”

  Alex didn’t stop to think, wrapping her arms around his neck, muttering continuous thank yous.

  “Please understand, it won’t be anything official. I cannot register his death for the reasons I mentioned. But perhaps if I can give you some semblance of peace, he can find his. I am available Friday morning.”

  Alex’s mind raced. “I was kind of hoping you could do it at night, if possible?”

  Father Thomas moved around his desk to examine his calendar. “I’m sorry. Friday is my only day free. I am heading out to a mission in Papua New Guinea that night and will be there for a few weeks. Is there a reason you want it to be held at night?

  Because she had hoped to have someone she loved with her.

  “Uh—no. Nick liked the night air, is all.” She replied quickly. “It doesn’t matter, though. It was just an idea. Friday morning will be fine. Thank you.”

  *

  Alex stared at the papers in her hand, the text blurring in and out of focus. She had to prepare her lessons for the coming days, and given she hadn’t been there for a week, holding herself together in front of her students today was critical. She didn’t want them to have to worry about her. She read through the notes her substitute teacher Tracey had left. There weren’t many, but Alex’s head wasn’t in the game and she couldn’t really make sense of them. She looked over the absentee list and one name stood out. Amy Batty had missed class five times consecutively, including today. Ordinarily, there should have been a notation about contacting the parents, or whether the parents had contacted the school, saying perhaps that Amy was out sick. But there was nothing.

  Alex caught herself some minutes later, mind wandering. She had to get back into it, but she couldn’t concentrate. That night kept coming back to her. Maybe some coffee would help.

  “Hey, Alley Cat. What’s cookin’?”

  “Hey, Tiff. How are you?”

  Tiffany Mills was a relatively new teacher at St. Therese’s, with a bubbly personality that could not be ignored. Alex knew she got on the nerves of a couple of the other teachers. A bit too “up herself” the saying went. Alex liked her however. At least in small doses.

  “Seem to be better than you, especially after a holiday. You ok?”

  Alex forced a smile. “Yeah totally. Just overwhelmed with getting back into the swing of things probably.”

  “Great! I have the perfect solution. Drinks!”

  “Uh…on a Monday night?”

  “It’s my birthday. My friends are taking me out, and I only just found out. A whole bunch of the guys are going, and I would love for you to come. It’s at T, you know it right? You can bring someone if you like?”

  “Wow, Tiff, that sounds, um…” Actually, maybe I could use a drink.

  “Oh, hey—I’m not taking over your class, am I?”

  “Uh, sorry?”

  “You know recess finished fifteen minutes ago, right?”

  “What? Oh fuckety!” Alex raced off, completely forgetting her lesson plan, thoughts of coffee, and Tiffany’s invitation. She sprinted out the door and down the corridor to her class. Seeing the principal, Peggy Deltone, leading her class in a game of copycat, she came to a halt.

  “Ah, Miss Hensley. The children were getting worried…and so was I.”

  “Thank you, Mrs Deltone. Sorry to trouble you.”

  She waved a hand. “Not at all. I was on my way to the office anyway. We had fun, though, didn’t we, guys?”

  A low yet mildly enthusiastic chorus of “Yes, Mrs Deltone,” followed. She faced Alex and pointed outside the class door, mouthing, “Can I see you for a sec?”

  Alex allowed her to pass before calling into the room. “Ok, guys, books out. We are doing World War II, and I’d like a nice title page. Those who don’t finish will have to do it for homework.”

  As she got outside the room, Alex launched into a hushed apology. “I must not have heard the bell. I am so sorry. Thank you for covering, I swear it won’t happen again.”

  Peggy wiggled her fingers. “Hey hey, calm down. It’s not a big thing, and I know you’re just back from your little hiatus. Also, I know you don’t make a habit of that kind of thing. I can look past it. But I wanted to talk to you anyway.”

  “Oh, ok… What about?”

  “First, are you all right? You look really frazzled. I’m guessing that week wasn’t exactly relaxing?�
��

  Alex thought about lying, what to say to brush off the attention. But instead, gave a slight shake of her head. “Death in the family.”

  Peggy pursed her lips. “Shit, I’m sorry. Look I didn’t want to pry. I was just concerned. Are you sure you’re up for this?”

  “I’ll be ok. Things are tough but I can’t just stay home and be miserable. Plus, the parent teacher interviews are next week, and I have to prepare for them. Life goes on.”

  Peggy quirked up the corner of her mouth in a small understanding smile. “Well, if that’s the case, I might have some good news for you.”

  “I could really use some.”

  “I’m retiring at the end of next year, and I want you to be my new assistant principal until then. That gives me two years to train you up.”

  Alex was taken aback. “Wha— You want me…to take over?” That was definitely not news she’d expected to hear today.

  “Absolutely. I’ve been with this school district so long, and they’ve been happy with this school’s performance, so I get to name my successor. You are one of the best teachers I have and I think you would do fabulously.”

  Alex bobbed on her feet frantically, until Peggy held up a hand.

  “There is a but. The school board and the education department have some reservations due to your lack of experience, so they will be coming down to do some interviews and observe you. Nothing drastic, just watching from a distance as you do your everyday duties. So just keep doing what you usually do and things will be as smooth as custard. Except this morning, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen again. No more slip-ups ok?”

  “Count on it.”

  “Oh, one more thing. Can you try and contact the Battys? Amy hasn’t come in for a few days. No call, no note. I wanted to ask Tracey, but I haven’t been able to contact her either. You know she didn’t turn up last Friday?”