“I believe he knew of him but never hung out with him or talked with him.”
After about five minutes the conversation was over. During the next two and one-half days there would be twenty more calls, so much for relaxing. But it was coming to an end. I was reminded of that every time a phone call came in.
We left the rent-a-car in Key West and decided to fly back. We were in a hurry to get back and see Tony. We took the short ten-minute cab ride to the Key West International Airport. I can remember when we first came to Key West your luggage was thrown through plastic curtains. Now they put in the conveyer belt and considered it to be modernized. To go back to those days would be easy to do. I am sure I had worries back then but not like now.
We gave a phone call to Tony so he could start cleaning up whatever messes he had made. We then walked through security and boarded our plane. We landed in Miami,
changed planes and started the flight home. We didn’t talk much on the flight, Stephanie and me. We just let the time drift by. All too soon we would be back. Soon this trial would all be over, but it could never be soon enough.
***
“What do you mean another continuance? Do you remember all the calls a couple of weeks ago? ‘It’s all but done.’ That’s what you said. Right? Remember?” I was shouting into the phone at States Attorney Brent Clark. Seems something had come up that the defense had needed another continuance. “What is it this time?”
“Mr. Wilson’s assistant, Arnold Kukec is having guests in from out of state for the holidays and would not be able to attend court.” Clark stopped and waited for my reply. There was dead silence on both ends of the phone.
I express amusement at the complete disbelief of what I had just heard. “You have to be kidding me? If anyone would visit me from out of state, they would understand I have to go to work during the day and I would see them at night. Not true for lawyers?”
“The judge is going to grant it. There’s nothing we can do.”
“I am so sick of hearing there is nothing you can do. Maybe there is something I can do. Something I should have done long ago.” I didn’t care what I said. This was starting to edge on ludicrousness.
“Don’t even start that kind of talk,” Clark shouted. This was the first time Clark raised his voice to me. I guess I finally struck a nerve. Maybe he did have some emotion inside him somewhere. “I never want to hear that again.”
He was right; you don’t want to broadcast your darkest thoughts. Maybe someday it would come back to bite you in the ass. “Sorry, but this is so fucked up. Our holiday will be shit again but his will be good with his company. Did anyone verify company was coming in? Or is it a given attorneys don’t lie?”
“He wouldn’t lie like that to the judge.”
“Now you are kidding, right? This system sucks so bad you people have lost all your common sense. Use your head. This is stupid.”
Clark was noticeably upset. I’m not sure if he thought it was directed at him or not, or if he knew what I was saying was right, but felt his hands were tied. “Why can’t we tell the judge how I feel?” I wanted to tell the judge how pissed off I was. How this was to me a mockery of justice. How it has become yelling matches between the States Attorney’s Office and me.
“That would not be a good thing to do. You don’t want the defense to know how this is affecting you. You don’t want him to know what goes on in our camp.”
“If he has half a brain he should know.” But then again that common sense thing. Maybe they don’t know. Maybe they are so wrapped up in their own world where there are no real feelings about people’s lives they are dealing with, that they don’t see it. Reminded me of the old joke. What are a hundred lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. Rang true today.
***
One good thing about work it took my mind off everything for the most part. But I also knew it was just one word away from coming back.
Danielle Lee asked if anyone had heard about the people on Wall Street that were convicted of fraud. “They received fifteen to twenty year sentences.”
Allan Topseed responded, “That’s more than that inmate got last month for murder. I guess instead of defrauding their victims they should have killed them.”
An outlandish remark but probably true. How could white collar crime be worse than rape, murder, or child molesting? This system was out of whack. Let me be judge for one year. It’s all I would need. Frivolous lawsuits tossed out and the person bringing it penalized. The attorney taking the case suspended. Soon there would be no more frivolous cases. Shorten the time for the offender’s “speedy trial.” Yeah, that’s what they call it. What a joke with that one. With Judge Timmy not only would the trial be speedy but also the judgment and sentencing just as fast. Yes, maybe I would only need six months.
Today was the day they would receive their continuance for the holidays. I was going to sit in the courtroom and watch. States Attorney Clark was correct in that there was nothing that could be done but I was still going to every hearing. If for nothing else so I could let whoever looks at me know, someone cares about what’s going on.
But today the judge says something different. “Counsel I’m granting your request for this continuance, but this is your last one. We have run the course. Pick a date in February. This case is going to trial. Both sides will present the other side with a redefined list of possible witnesses by next week.”
Jeffrey Motter’s attorney, Theodore Wilson II spoke first, “Your Honor, I have several cases going in February. That’s a bad month for me.”
“Have them continued. I know you are familiar with that concept. You two can pick a date or I will.” Judge Peterson had had enough too.
I watched as Wilson picked up a stack of papers, his hands shaking. Funny, he was no longer the self-confidant attorney. He was wilting in front of the judge. The papers in his hand had nothing to do with the next court date. They were being used as a prop that was needed to calm him. If he could have seen how they jiggled as he held them he would have probably put them down.
States Attorney Brent Clark jumped in with, “Any day that is good with the court is good with the State.”
Judge Peterson turned his attention again to Theodore Wilson II, “And that date would be?”
“Thursday, February twentieth should be good for me.”
“Since we will be starting this trial on a Monday, not the middle of the week, the date will be February twenty-forth. Be ready gentlemen.”
The hammer came down with a crisper bang this time. I’m sure it was just me but that’s how it sounded. I sat there for awhile. I was just taking it in. The end, dare do I even think it, is it in sight? Something was happening to me, something inside, almost a cleansing. I could not explain it but I sure felt it. Enjoy the moment I told myself because now I must decide do I tell my family.
***
Christmas had come and gone. Sometimes it held all the joy and wonder as years gone by. Sometimes darkness and blues not even Elvis’ Blue Christmas could match. The heartbreak of it all was I didn’t know if it was just my head playing tricks on me or if it was in fact just me. I would ask myself, “Did I bring this on myself? Am I being punished for where my life was going or where it had been?”
I was having more and more dark thoughts about how to end these tribulations with the courts. It would be very easy really. Take out the bad constituent. Get rid of Motter. No Motter, no trial, no problem.
It would be effortless to walk up to him and put a gun to his head. I did it when I was shooting at the bank robber. Got him in my sights, aimed, and thought for a second “can you do this?” I saw the top of his head as he dropped down in the front seat seeking cover. I dropped my sights slightly. Pop. His head went forward then back, and within thirty seconds his gun came out the car window. He was done. He had enough.
I did it then, I for sure could do it now, without a second thought. But then what would happen? Doing it was not a problem, living wi
thout my family, something different. I need them as much as they needed me.
But then there was Christmas morning when Christine, Douglas, and Tony came down the stairs. We sat with presents on our laps as we talked of Christmas’ past. They were happy, happy times. How when they would open their presents I would notice a small hole where a mouse had ripped through to see what was in the box. As a matter of fact, I saw the same hole on some of Tony’s presents this year.
We all laughed. It was good to laugh. For me to sit and see my family there before me, growing into wonderful people, not only family, but also so much more. This is why I had to keep my thoughts on what I’m doing. Keep my head on straight. Don’t let this situation get the better of me.
As I sat there with all the laughter around me, I bowed my head and gave thanks for all I had. How could any man be any richer?
***
But now as the court date was only two weeks away it was time to say something. I knew this would reawaken the demons again but it had to be done. I would tell Stephanie when we were alone. Then go from there.
That night was a bleak winter night. Looking out there was no sign of life. No neighbors, no cars, no animals. But looking up at the sky it was alive with the twinkling of a thousand stars. I asked God for his strength to get through the next turbulent days, and nights. Time to start was now.
She was seated on the love seat looking at a magazine. “Stephanie, there’s something I have to tell you.” I said as I sat down beside her. She placed the magazine down and shifted in the seat. Over the past couple of years neither of us knew what would come out of the others mouth. We had had some hard times and some terrible nights. Without a word she looked up into my eyes with the worried look of a dog about to be put to sleep.
“Actually, this should be good news. The trial is in two weeks.”
“When did this happen?” Her look changed from that poor puppy to a wild dog looking for food and I was it.
“I wanted to be sure before I told you.”
“Are you sure now?”
“As sure as I can be, everything points to it starting and coming to a conclusion in a week after that.”
“Hmmm, everything points to that. That’s just wonderful. Here we were having such a good time with our family and now you have to bring up that jerk again. Did you have to right now? You’re not even sure. Why? Why do you think this is the time?”
I was taken back as I thought it was a good thing, it was coming to an end. Stephanie did not see it that way. “I spoke with the State Attorney’s Office…” I began.
“They ever say before it was going and didn’t?”
“They can only give me what their best belief is. This is what they believe. It will go this time. Even the judge wants it to start. I feel it. I can’t absolutely say why, but I know, I feel it is going to start.” I pulled her closer to me. “Stephanie, we have to remain optimistic, if not for us for the kids. They see what this has done to us, the yelling, the arguments, the fighting, but they also still see the love and bonding this family has needed to pull through.”
She looked up at me, her eyes glistening a little from the tears forming. “I know. It’s just hard.”
“For us all. Remember that no one hurts more than Tony. And he doesn’t want us to be like this, at each other’s throats.”
She reached up and gently pulled my head towards hers. She placed her lips on mine and gave me a salty, wonderful kiss. It reminded me that sometimes fighting is all right, just so you can make up. “I’m sorry. What do we have to do?”
“Nothing. We wait and I’ll stay in contact with the State. We’ll have to go in one more time so they can tell us who will testify. Then we wait for trial, arm in arm, hand in hand. We will face this as a family. And trust me; he will never hurt Tony again.” I meant every word. Especially that last part, no one would ever hurt Tony again. Not as long as I was around. Never.
***
Three days before the trial we met with States Attorneys Brent Clark and Gary Wagner. We again sat in the conference room where many battles were waged and many facts were rediscovered. This was where Tony remembered some of his darkest hours. This day would be better.
As we all sat down at the table I looked around the room. Clark and Wagner sat across from Tony, Douglas, Stephanie and me. “How are we doing today?” Gary Wagner asked.
“If we go to trial in three days, everything is fine,” I came back with.
“No stopping us now,” Brent Clark said, “we can tell you this is for sure.”
“That is why we have to see who will testify,” Wagner said. “We are favoring Tony, of course, also Douglas. Are both you guys up for this. Just have to say what you told us. Don’t embellish just tell what happened. If you don’t remember just say so. There is nothing wrong with that. Just don’t guess.”
Clark continued, “Stephanie and Tim, we may use you for rebuttal if we need to. But as of now we feel your testimony won’t be needed.”
“Who else will testify?” I asked
“Officer’s Matthew Williamson, Dominic Hattle, and William Wasmiak, Detective Tonka, Investigator Paul Hennesey, and Sammy Bowlinger.”
The last name took me back for a second. “You spoke with him?”
“He’s a very intricate part of these proceedings.” Wagner said it but both Wagner and Clark were shaking their heads.
“How long do you foresee the trial to last?”
“Our guess would be four to five days, depending upon who testifies for the defense.”
“You don’t know yet?”
“We have their list, as they have our list, we will find out for sure on the day of trial. We are ready for what ever they throw at us. Really Tim.”
They then went over the same questions the boys had heard before, many times. They seemed to be pleased the answers were the same. That was a sign of telling the truth.
We left as usual walking past many of my co-workers. But this time seemed to hold a bit more bounce in our steps. This was it, the State Attorneys were ready and by God so were we. Let the chips fall, and they better fall right.
***
The night before the trial was anxious. It was strange because it held tension and relief at the same time. We were nervous what would happen yet thankful it was soon to be over. Stephanie had decided on a full roast beef dinner with all the trimmings. Not the last meal rather the first meal of our new start.
The table was set with our finest china. A dinner of times gone by but was here again. All three children were happy as they saw the dinner come together. It was almost childlike in their smiles and laughter at the table. I looked around the table and again felt blessed that we had survived. Not that we were some super family coming through as would be expected but to a certain extent as a family brought together and glued together by love.
The conversation revolved around past experiences and stories of some family disasters. Like the time we were on my father-in-laws boat and he told me to throw the anchor overboard. I being the kind of guy to follow orders I threw it over. The very next words out of my father-in-laws mouth were, “You did tie it down, right?”
As the rope finished unraveling with the anchor pulling it into the water I said, “You didn’t tell me that.” With that said, the anchor, the rope, and my humility sank to the bottom of the lake. The next day my father-in-law gave me a coffee can with cement in it telling me, “Here’s your new anchor.”
There were many other stories passed around the table that night, with countless hardy laughs to accompany them. It was a night that should have never ended, a perfect night. Dinner had ended, the table cleared, and no one had gone away. I believe every one of us was touched by that evening. It was one magical evening, which would hopefully be repeated over and over from now on.
When we went to bed Stephanie and I laid still, not talking for a minute. Then she said, “I wish I could testify. I want to say what a terrible freak this guy is.”
“I kno
w you do. I want to scream he deserves to rot in hell, but we have to leave it in the States hands and hope they convince the jury of what he is.” As I said that I wondered if a fight was now to break out. But it didn’t happen. It was like a peace had come over both of us, our whole family actually. A peace that justice would be served. In my mind I knew it would be served, their way or mine. If it had to be, my justice could be my revenge. We kissed goodnight then tried to sleep. It took awhile but finally Stephanie was sleeping. I could tell by the petite sores coming from her side of the bed. She always denied she snored but it never bothered me. It only made me smile at the tiny sounds she made. Next sound I heard was the alarm clock going off.
***
Stephanie went into all the bedrooms to awaken the kids only to find them already in the kitchen making breakfast. “Let’s go mom, biscuits and gravy waiting,” said Douglas. Tony was already eating. “Hurry up, he’ll wolf it all down in a matter of minutes,” Douglas continued.
“Save some for your father and me.” Stephanie was laughing as she headed up the stairs to get ready.
To my surprise the exhilaration from last night stilled lingered into our morning. We had a confidence surrounding us, a certainty that permeated through us.
We ate our breakfast over small talk and big smiles. Whatever the day held ahead for us for right now it was fine. I heard the furnace turning on and watched our cat heading over to lie on the heating vent. She did know how to stay warm. She was a long hair cat, a Maine Coon, but somehow like me she was located in a climate well below her warmth needs. As she lay down she let out a soft purr. If today weren’t the day it was, I’d be back in bed purring a little myself.
All the guys were dressed in collared shirts and slacks. Stephanie was in a dress. Show the court some respect. I was glad the boys had dressed that way without being told to. I have seen so many times guys coming into court with shirts on I wouldn’t wear in front of my mother. They were aware of the importance of everything they did and said today. I also knew Jeffrey Motter would be looking like a young businessman who has been wrongly accused.
As a custom before I leave my house I go through the “what have I forgot” routine, which this time indicated it was my wallet that I left on my dresser. As I picked it up I saw my gun safe near a bed stand. I stood staring at it for what seemed like several minutes when I heard Stephanie call upstairs, “Timmy, are you coming?”
My Justice My Revenge Page 19