by Lizzie Lane
He didn’t lean back when she didn’t need his finger anymore either. Staying close, he began humming along with the slow, bluesy version of I’ll Be Home For Christmas playing over the speakers. Forcing her gaze to remain on the package even though she was barely seeing it, she curled the ribbon and tugged it into place, fluffing it long after it no longer needed fluffing in an attempt to avoid her internal tug-o-war.
Should she move away from him and take the finished present over to the pallet? Lean into him and let the scent of him carry away all her reservations and fears?
Jase took the choice out of her hands, sliding one arm around her waist as his other snuck under her hand to cradle her palm. “Come dance with me,” he murmured low. “I know you love this song.”
She did love the song, the longing and sweetness of it, the promise of love it seemed to hold, but mostly she just loved being here, in his arms again.
Trying to keep the magic of the moment at bay, she whispered, “You know you have a bow stuck to your butt.”
He flicked a glance over his shoulder, his grin devastating, and whispered back, “I know.”
And that smile melted the last of her resistance like candle wax, as did his softly spoken, “Dance with me, Sam.”
She closed her eyes and let him pull her against his chest. Swaying together, she listened to his familiar baritone croon softly along. Home for Christmas. She’d wanted this so badly, wanted him so badly, and now she was afraid to trust this feeling. But whether she trusted it or not, it was there. She wasn’t sure she’d ever stop loving Jase MacGregor.
But was love enough?
The song ended and still he held her, swaying gently, even as a bouncy rendition of The Twelve Days of Christmas jingled through the barn. The moment seemed to hold, wrapping them in Christmas magic and the promise that maybe this was real and this moment could last forever—
Until the cheering of their co-volunteers snapped them out of it. Courtney bounced over, “I wrapped the most presents of all,” she bragged, tugging at Jase until he stepped back, letting cool air into the warm space between them, though he kept Sam’s hand. He laced their fingers together as Mrs. Claus announced cocoa for all back at the inn and led the way out of the barn, quickly followed by the rest of the conscripted wrappers.
Courtney squealed and bolted in the direction of the promised cocoa. Sam started to follow, but Jase tightened his fingers, holding her back.
“Sam…”
She looked up, into those winter blue eyes, so serious and intent, and everything went still. The music faded away and she was certain he would kiss her—even though there wasn’t a bough of mistletoe in sight. And she wanted it. Lord, how she wanted it—even if it was every kind of foolishness. She’d waited so long. His gaze dropped to her lips and she could feel that look as strongly as a touch. Her breath grew short, pulse quickening—
And he looked away.
His attention on the partially open barn doors, he murmured, “That must be the plows.”
She became aware of the mechanical rumbling of the snow plows as they promenaded up and down the street.
Jase checked his watch, dropping her hand to do it. “If we get on the road now, we can probably still make White Falls by four-thirty.”
Her hopes descended with a thud, even as she told herself it was good he’d broken the spell. For the best. “Yeah. You’re right. We should probably go.”
He held the door for her, swiping the bow off his butt with one hand, and she was oddly sad to see it go as she preceded him out of the barn. Even though she knew it was silly Sam couldn’t help feeling they’d left their chance at reconciliation inside. That moment when everything could have turned sweet again and it didn’t. When they could have forgotten about White Falls and California and everything in between and just been them again.
She swallowed back her disappointment and marched through the snow back to the inn. So much for Christmas miracles.
Chapter Nine – Mistletoe Regrets
He should have kissed her.
Jase regretted not making a move as soon as they stepped out of the barn, but he hadn’t wanted to rush her. Didn’t want to make her run. The moment had been so perfect, but he wasn’t in this for moments. He was in it for life.
He’d thought they would be trapped at the inn all day, but then he’d heard the plows and discretion had reared its ugly head. To avoid spooking her, he’d held back—and now he was kicking himself and calling himself a dozen different kinds of fool as the tenuous connection that had been growing between them seemed to fade and vanish in seconds.
He’d told himself that the plows were a sign. That they could make it back to White Falls in time for his interview with Melanie if they moved fast. That getting the job and moving back home was more important than a kiss in a barn that might send her running for the hills.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, right?
But if the heavy silence filling up between them was anything to go by, it might not be built at all.
He should have kissed her.
“The roads are still iffy,” Mrs. Claus protested when they’d collected their bags and stopped at the front desk to officially check out. Sam was several feet behind him, inspecting the wares at the tiny gift shop as she waited for him to be done. “Are you sure you won’t stay another night? Enjoy the season together? There’s no better weather for building snow men.”
“I’m afraid we can’t. I have an appointment I really need to get to.”
“An appointment?” Sam appeared at his side. “What kind of appointment?”
Would she think it was romantic if he admitted it was a job interview and he was moving back for her? He’d made the mistake of dangling the idea of his coming back to White Falls in one of their last arguments, trying to convince her to give California a try. If he told her about the interview now, without having the job already locked up, would she accept that he really meant it or assume it was another manipulation tactic?
Better to err on the side of caution. “Just a personal thing.”
Sam frowned, but he spoke quickly, heading off any further questions. “Shall we go? We have a long drive ahead of us.”
She nodded, but her frown didn’t dissipate as she let him lead the way out of the inn. Mrs. Claus called after them that they must come back and they waved their farewells, climbing into the cherry red Santamobile, headed north.
*
He didn’t want her to know about his appointment.
Sam had known Jase a very long time and she could always tell when he was trying to hide something. His evasion about the appointment had immediately aroused her suspicion. But why would he have an appointment in White Falls he wouldn’t want her to know about? Why would he have an appointment in White Falls at all?
The sky was pale blue and brilliantly clear, and the highways were snow-free as the miles whipped by beneath the car’s wheels. At this rate they should make White Falls by four.
“When’s your appointment?”
The car jerked ever-so-slightly to the side before Jase steadied it in the center of the lane. “What?”
“Your important appointment. When is it? Or were you lying to Mrs. Claus to get us out of there faster?” Because you don’t want to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with me. Though if that had been the case he could have left her in Chicago.
His hands flexed on the wheel—a familiar nervous tell. “Four-thirty.”
“In White Falls?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Who are you meeting?”
She watched his Adam’s apple bob. “Does it matter?”
“It seems to. Since you didn’t say anything about the appointment yesterday and now you’re acting all squirrelly about it.”
“Melanie Lipshultz.”
Sam was so convinced he wasn’t going to answer that it took her a moment to place the name. “Melanie from the bank? Who you used to work with?”
“Yeah.”
Melanie Lipshultz. He’d always liked Melanie. And hadn’t Sam heard something about Melanie thinking about moving away from White Falls? Was she leaving to go to him? Had they been seeing one another long distance? Jase’s sister had said that he was dating, that he’d moved on, but Sam hadn’t realized it might have been with another girl from White Falls.
No. She was being ridiculous. Jumping to conclusions. Acting like a jealous lover she had no right to act like.
Though if he had something going with Melanie, that would certainly explain why he hadn’t kissed her except for a tiny little buss when forced by mistletoe. And why he had tried to resolve things between them last night. He and Melanie would want to be able to come back to White Falls to visit his family without any lingering bad blood.
He and Melanie…
The thought of them together made something bilious turn in her stomach.
The engine coughed, back-firing.
Had he really moved on? Sam had never gotten over him, but Jase had always been the pragmatic one. Why should he have any problem? He’d been dating in LA, hadn’t he?
But Melanie Lipshultz?
She pressed back into the corner of the passenger seat, staring out the side window.
“Sam? You got all quiet.”
“I just wasn’t expecting you to be seeing Melanie Lipshultz.”
“I was hoping you’d be glad,” he said, so tentative it was hard to hate him for it. Hard but not impossible.
Glad. He wanted her to be glad. And God, she wanted to be able to be happy for him, but right now she just wanted to cry. Or maybe to punch him. Get it together, Sam. You’re stronger than this. “I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew you’d been dating.”
The car swerved again, correcting quickly. “What did you say?”
“Libby told me. When she got back from visiting you in LA.”
“Libby told you what?”
“That you’d been seeing someone. She didn’t say who—”
“I wasn’t seeing anyone.”
“It’s okay, Jase. We both knew it was over. I understand—”
“I wasn’t seeing anyone,” he repeated, more forcefully. “Libby knew that. There’s no reason for her to lie about that.”
Was he telling the truth? Did it matter either way if he was, if he was with Melanie now? Sam shrugged. “Who knows why Libby does what she does? She’s never liked me anyway.”
“My sister loves you.”
Sam snorted a laugh. “Your sister has hated me for the better part of a decade. And your parents aren’t my biggest fans either. I think they threw a party the day we broke up. Finally I wouldn’t be that little Whitney brat holding their precious baby back from achieving everything promised by his unlimited potential.”
A frown darkened Jase’s face. “You never told me you thought they didn’t like you.”
She hadn’t figured she had to tell him. The entire town knew. “We never talked about a lot of things, apparently.” Like the fact that he’d secretly had a thing for rigid brunettes like Melanie Lipshultz.
Jealousy twisted hard in her gut. She’d never been jealous when she was dating the same man as twenty-nine other women on Marrying Mister Perfect, but one little date with Melanie Lipshultz—which might not even be a date—and Sam was spitting green.
She could feel the irritation pulsing off Jase in the driver’s seat, but it didn’t seem to be directed at her. Perhaps it was directed at the fates for sticking him with Sam when all he wanted was to get back to his precious Melanie.
She couldn’t seem to stop making herself crazy thinking about it.
Melanie Lipshultz. Of all the women in the world, why did he have to replace her with Melanie?
He jerked his chin toward the next exit ramp. “We need gas. You want coffee? I want coffee.”
Before she could comment, he was zipping off the freeway. His hands were clenched on the steering wheel, his gaze straight ahead, jaw tight.
At any other moment, she might have asked him what was wrong, but right now it was all she could do not to vomit nasty words to reveal her jealousy. The last thing she wanted him to know was how much it burned to think that he might actually be dating someone from their own hometown when she hadn’t been good enough for him there.
*
“Did you tell Samantha that I was dating someone in LA?”
Jase stood next to the car, shivering in the cold with his phone pressed to his ear as the tank filled. Sam was inside, grabbing coffee for them both while he yelled at his sister.
“Who told you that?” Libby asked, with guilt thick in her voice.
“Sam told me.”
“Since when are you talking to Sam?”
“Stop avoiding the question. Did you or did you not lie to my ex about my love life?”
“It was for your own good!” Libby protested. “Did you want to look like some pathetic heartsick schmuck who couldn’t get a date?”
He heard his parents in the background, asking his sister who she was yelling at. Moments later they were both on the line as well.
“Who can’t get a date?” his mother asked.
“Jason.”
“I am perfectly capable of getting a date, thank you very much,” Jase snapped. “It just so happens that I didn’t want to date anyone. Did you two know Libby was telling Sam I was dating other people?” he demanded of his parents.
“Samantha Whitney?” His mother’s confusion was genuine. “No, but I don’t see that it matters what Sam thinks about your dating life.”
“He’s been talking to her,” Libby interjected.
“To Samantha? Why?”
Something about his mother’s tone got Jase’s hackles up. “Why wouldn’t I be talking to her?”
“Don’t get me wrong,” his mother began—which was never a good sign. “Samantha is a sweet girl, but you have to admit you’ve outgrown her. Frankly, we were relieved when you two parted ways.”
“Did you tell her you thought she wasn’t good enough for me? That you thought she was holding me back?”
“She was holding you back, darling. You have so much potential—”
His mother kept talking, but a ringing filled his ears and he couldn’t hear her. They’d sabotaged him. Maybe Sam wouldn’t have come to California either way, but it must have been twice as hard for her to work up the gumption with his own parents telling her she wasn’t good enough.
The gas pump clicked off and Jase hooked it back into its slot, checking to make sure Sam was still inside the coffee shop waiting for their order. Seeing that she was, he didn’t wait for his mother to stop her calm, relentless explanation before dropping his bomb.
“I’m moving back to White Falls,” he interrupted.
“What?” Shock rippled through the phone line.
“I’m moving back to White Falls. For Samantha. If she’ll have me. Because I was miserable without her and living in LA without her was killing me. Maybe we would have been happy together in LA if you hadn’t convinced her she wasn’t good enough for me or maybe she wouldn’t have come with me regardless, but none of that matters now because I need her to make the sun rise and if that means moving back to White Falls and giving up on all my so called limitless potential that you’ve been telling me to chase my entire life, then that’s just the way it’s going to be. And you’re going to be nice to her. You’re going to welcome her into our family with loving arms if I can ever convince her to take me back. You’re going to tell her she’s perfect for me and treat her like a princess, because she is the love of my life and that is my choice, not yours. I’ll call you when I get to town.”
Jase didn’t wait for a response. He stabbed the icon to disconnect the call. Anger pulsed through him, but with it a sense of righteous satisfaction. He should have done that a long time ago.
He’d known in some corner of his mind that his parents had reservations
about his attachment to Sam before, but he’d never realized the extent of them or that they had revealed them to her. Because he hadn’t listened. Both he and Sam had been great at keeping things copacetic and ignoring all the little conflicts they didn’t want to acknowledge—until it had blown up in their faces. But this time would be different. This time they would face things, resolve things, and live happily ever after.
If he could just get her to take him back.
He hadn’t wanted to tell her about the job interview with Melanie—both because he didn’t want to jinx it and because he didn’t want to pressure her and send her running in the opposite direction. They were in the middle of a careful dance and anything could upset the balance—as evidenced by her reaction to hearing Melanie’s name. She’d immediately clammed up and seemed almost pissed off. Not exactly promising. But he wasn’t giving up yet.
When he had the job, he would be able to give her the whole package with a neat little bow—moving back to town, with the means to support them, and a ring in his pocket. He had the plan and the ring—the same ring he’d been carrying around for a year—but the job was the last piece of the puzzle. As soon as he had that, he’d lay everything on the line. Right now he just had to get her to the point where she wouldn’t punch him in the nose as soon as he went down on one knee.
Sam stepped out of the shop with a to-go cup in each hand and a paper bag tucked under her arm. “I got you a turkey wrap,” she announced as she approached.
He opened the door for her, relieving her of half her burden. “Thank you,” he said—for more than the coffee. She was here. They were on their way back to being them again. He would never stop being grateful for that. “About what Libby said…”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She snapped her door closed and he sighed as he rounded the hood.
He had time. Now if he could just get her to let him in again.
Chapter Ten – Breakdowns
Sam lasted about ten miles before the silence in the car began to get to her and rational thought spoiled her pique.