“Everyone’s okay.”
He’d hesitated before he spoke. “Connor, if one of them is … is hurt, you have to tell me!” Except Ember and Nicky couldn’t be hurt, at least not permanently; they both seemed so fragile to me at times that it was hard to remember that. “Jules?”
“He’s fine, I promise. Nicky did himself some damage, but he’s better now.”
“What kind of damage?”
“Tore up his paws, first digging himself out, and then trying to dig you out. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have even known where to look. There was wreckage everywhere.”
“And you? You weren’t hurt? Don’t lie to me!”
He sighed. “I was knocked unconscious by the blast. Wentworth Mended me – I wasn’t even out for very long!” His mouth twisted. “Only it was long enough. It’s why I wasn’t in time.”
He thought he’d been the one who’d failed. He didn’t realise it had been me. “I’m why you weren’t in time. Pen only had enough power to Mend one of us, and she … she chose me.” Tears began to leak out of my eyes, and more followed, until they were gushing down my face in waves. I clung to Connor, howling my grief until finally I ran out of tears, if not out of sadness.
“I want to see Pen,” I whispered.
“You can’t.”
“Don’t you dare tell me I’m not strong enough!” I pulled away from him. “I want to see her, and I want to see her now.”
“That’s not why you can’t see her. We buried her.”
“Already?”
“It’s been three days since the explosion.”
“I’ve been unconscious for three days?”
The brittleness of his features grew more pronounced. “You were … crushed.” The way he spoke that last word told me all I’d ever want to know about how I’d looked when he got me out from under the train. “It took Wentworth herself to save you. She’d come running to the station as soon as she heard about the first explosion.”
The hand on my head, and the heat storming through my body. That had been Doctor Wentworth. All the help Pen and I had needed had been there. They just hadn’t been able to get to us. If Connor hadn’t been unconscious … or maybe if I hadn’t sent him to help the others … If I hadn’t been wounded so badly, or if Pen hadn’t. If Nicky had been able to help me Sleepwalk. But I knew now why he hadn’t. I’d been injured too badly to use my ability. Maybe if we’d had that enforcer escort. But, no, that wouldn’t have made a bit of difference, except to make us easier for the minions to spot in the crowd.
“I could take you to the cemetery,” Connor offered. “To visit her.”
“I wanted to see her face. The cemetery …” I shook my head. “She isn’t there. Pen and I – when we were under the train, we could smell eucalyptus. First me, then her. I think I was dying, and she kept me alive, but after that she was dying. It’s why she could smell the forest.” If I’d had any tears left I would have cried them. All that was in me now was an aching emptiness. “She was going home.”
He pulled me to him, and I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes to shut out the world. Nothing would make me feel better. But there was some comfort in the steady rise and fall of his breathing and the shelter of his arms. I will stay like this. I will stay like this forever.
Connor shifted. I made a protesting noise, and he said, “I have to get Wentworth. She wanted to check you over when you woke.”
I spoke against his chest. “’M fine.”
“One of the others can sit with you, if you like – Ember and Nicky are outside. Jules too.”
A flame of anger flickered, and then another, building to a steady fire. “I don’t want to see Jules.”
“I think you should.”
“If it wasn’t for him, Pen wouldn’t have been here!”
“I know.”
I straightened, eyeing him with a frown. “You don’t seem very angry about it.”
“I am. Or I was.” His gaze slid away from mine, and he added in a low voice, “Jules shouldn’t have brought Penelope here. And I’d trade my life for hers in a second if I could, or for any of the Tribe, you know that.” He looked back at me. “But I cannot be angry with him because I am glad you are alive.”
And it was wrong to be glad when my life had come at the cost of one of the Tribe. I knew because I felt it too. “I’m glad to be alive,” I confessed. “Not that – if I could go back, if I could make her save herself instead of me, I would–”
“I know.” The ghost of a smile pulled at his lips. “I had this moment, when we found out the Tribe might be getting Exemptions. For an instant, I thought that you and I might live through this after all, and I wish I’d never thought it! Because before that I’d accepted that we probably didn’t have long, and now …” He leaned back, running a hand through his hair. “I have grown greedy and selfish. It doesn’t seem like enough time.”
“For me either,” I admitted. “And it isn’t enough. Not for you or me. Not for Pen. Things shouldn’t be like this. The world shouldn’t be like this.” It’s not what was meant. We exchanged weary glances, acknowledging a hard truth neither of us could change. But at least it was a truth we knew together.
Connor rose to his feet and bent to press a kiss to the top of my head, holding onto me for a moment. Then he let me go and said, “Talk to Jules, Ashala. Whatever he’s done, he’s Tribe and he needs you. Besides, there’s another reason I’m having trouble being angry with him.”
“What?”
“You’ll know it when you see him.”
I sighed. “Fine. Send him in.”
He went out, and I heard the murmur of voices. After a few minutes Jules came in, along with Nicky, who took a flying leap to land on the bed. He flattened himself down, tail wagging furiously. I patted his head, and he licked my hand before flopping at my feet, heaving a contented sigh to be back in his usual spot. In the Firstwood, he liked to lie on the end of my bedroll. I knew he’d sleep for hours now.
Jules closed the door and walked further into the room. I understood immediately what Connor had meant about having another reason not to be mad. Jules was a wreck. His eyes were bloodshot and he’d lost a noticeable amount of weight. I’d wanted to yell at him. Now I didn’t have the heart.
Instead I said, “You should never have brought Penelope to the city. And I think you know that.”
He shrugged. “She chose to come.”
“It wasn’t her choice to make! And it wasn’t yours either.”
His eyes suddenly blazed. “It was my choice. It was my choice, and I made it, and the consequences of it – that’s on me. I did this and I know it. She died because of me.”
“No, Jules, she died because a minion blew up a train. And because she was brave, and special, and …” My throat was closing over.
Jules shoved his hands in his pockets, and stared at the floor. “Are you going to throw me out?”
“You just got here.”
His gaze flicked back to me. “Not out of the room, wolfgirl. Out of the Tribe.”
“What? No!”
“Red wouldn’t come with me if you did, you know. She won’t leave you. Anyways, she’s not even talking to me at the moment.”
“This isn’t about Ember. This is about you.”
He eyed me warily, and I continued, “Jules, I’ve only been prepared to throw one person out of the Tribe, and that was Briony, who was feeding information to the government. She would have destroyed us. I think you were trying to help, in your way. But we have rules, and those rules are important. They’re how we care for each other, and looking after each other is the heart of who we are.”
“And if I don’t follow the rules, I’m out?”
He didn’t get it. I wanted to tell him he was family, only I knew it wouldn’t mean anything to him. He’d never had a family before us, so he didn’t know what it was to belong. Then I realised he did. Because Jules was connected to the forest the same way the rest of the Tribe was – t
hrough an animal. Through a snowy, lemon-crested cockatoo, to be exact.
I knew who Jules was. I just wasn’t sure he did.
“You call me wolfgirl all the time. And I am a wolf. But you’re a Yellowcrest.”
“So?”
“So when Yellowcrests feed on the ground, one of them always stays in a tree to keep watch so they can warn the others if there’s danger. Wolves are hunters. But Yellowcrests – Yellowcrests are guardians.”
He was giving me a look which suggested he thought I’d gone crazy. “You can’t possibly believe that means I’m some kind of guardian!”
“That’s exactly what I believe. I think you’ve been trying to warn me that there’s danger and we need to fly away. And you’re worried I haven’t listened, only I have. I understand exactly how much trouble we’re in, except I can’t fly away from myself. I have to do what I think is right for the Tribe. And I need to know I can rely on you.”
He was quiet for a moment. Then he met my gaze squarely, and said, “You can trust me to protect the heart of the Tribe.”
He was telling the truth. In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever seen him so sincere, at least, not over something that wasn’t to do with Ember. He’d understood. “Okay.”
Jules leaned forwards, resting his hands on the bed end. “How’re you feeling, anyway? Well enough to travel?”
“I suppose, but we’re not going anywhere yet. I’ve still got to meet the Primes.”
He straightened, surprise flickering across his face. “Connor didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Um. Maybe we should wait–”
“Tell me what, Jules?”
Jules sighed. “The Council meeting has been cancelled. The three Primes who weren’t here already turned back to their cities when they heard about the explosion. And the Primes who are here aren’t planning to be for long.”
“They’re not going to vote on Exemptions?”
He laughed, but there was no humour in it. “No, darling, they’re not voting on Exemptions. We’ll be lucky if they don’t make the Citizenship Accords worse. Illegals blew up a train, you know.”
“Minions blew up a train!”
“Doesn’t matter. All Illegals are the same to Citizens. Well, to most Citizens, anyways. They don’t trust us, and they can’t tell us apart. Even after what flyboy did.”
I frowned, and Jules said, “He didn’t tell you that either, huh? After he got you out, he helped free everybody else who was trapped.” He shook his head. “I don’t know, maybe if he could’ve got to everybody in time – but people still died. Including some kids.”
I rubbed at my arms, which were covered in goosepimples even though the room was warm. I was cold from the inside out. “You’re saying Illegals are being blamed for the explosions. All Illegals.”
“Yep.”
I sensed there was something he still wasn’t saying and it wasn’t hard to guess what, not when a minion had pointed me out at the station. “The Tribe is being blamed?”
“There’re rumours. Which is why we gotta get out of here just as soon as you can put one foot in front of the other. People are scared of us, and scared makes people vicious and stupid.”
I couldn’t believe how fast and how badly everything had gone wrong. We’d been set up, and it had worked spectacularly well. “They planned this. Terence. Neville. Both of them.”
“Yeah. Which means they had to know we were coming to the city. Someone in the government’s been leaking information. Willis says it could only have been one of eight people, ’cause that’s how many knew you were meeting with the Primes. She’s got them under house arrest until she figures out which one was responsible.”
Too late. Willis was plugging leaks in a boat that had already sunk. The vote was cancelled and the chance for change was gone. I put my head in my hands. Things were even worse than I’d thought. I didn’t know how I was going to get Pen her world that was safe for kids and dogs now.
I heard the door open and looked up to find Doctor Wentworth had arrived. Her hair was longer than when I’d last seen her, falling to her shoulders in dark waves. Otherwise she was the same, tall and brown skinned and radiating concern. Connor came in behind her, and then Em, who looked about as worn out as Connor and a whole lot paler. I smiled at her and she smiled back, but it wasn’t the smile that usually lit up her features. Or maybe it was, and there was just too much sadness in her face for one smile to take it away.
Wentworth strode over, reaching down to take my hand in hers. After a second she said, “You’re doing much better, Ashala, although you do need more time to fully recover. I wouldn’t advise travelling yet.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I told her. “I want to see the Primes.”
Connor and Ember exchanged uneasy glances.
“I know the Council meeting’s cancelled,” I added impatiently. “I want to see them anyway.”
Em glared at Jules. “You told her?”
“I didn’t know that she didn’t know!”
“She just woke up. If you’d thought for even a second you would have realised it wasn’t a good idea to hit her with everything at once!”
I blinked at the icy edge to her tone. I’d never heard her speak to Jules like that. Jules didn’t say anything, but his mouth tightened in anger. No, not anger. Pain.
I was going to have to talk to Em before this tore them apart, but now wasn’t the time. “Doctor Wentworth? Can you arrange a meeting?”
“Prime Willis can,” she replied. “But, Ashala – I’m not quite sure what you hope to achieve by it.”
“I might not achieve anything,” I admitted. “Only there’re going to be people out there who’ll want to make the Citizenship Accords tougher. That means it’s going to matter what the Primes think of us, and Prime Willis thought I could make a difference to that before.”
She sighed. “I’ll do what I can. Right now you must sleep. This will take a while to organise anyway, and the Primes aren’t leaving until the day after tomorrow.” She strode to the door and held it open, gesturing to the others. “One of you can sit with her. The rest have to go.”
It was obvious who stayed. There was only one person I hadn’t seen alone yet. Jules and Connor knew it too. They followed Wentworth out and shut the door behind them.
Em hurried to my side, settling onto the chair. “You have to lie down, Ash. And close your eyes. Do you need another pillow, or anything?”
“I’ve got enough pillows.” I sank into the bed, bending my legs to avoid Nicky, who was starting to snore. But I didn’t close my eyes yet.
“I forgave Jules, you know,” I told her.
“You did? But he lied to you! He betrayed us. And Penelope–”
“I know,” I interrupted. “He was wrong. He understands he was wrong.” I reached for her hand. “He lied to you as well, and you can be as mad at him about that as you like. Except you have to be mad for you, and not for me.”
She didn’t say anything, she just put her other hand over mine. Carefully, as though she was worried I’d break. Which was strange, because I was worried she would.
“You haven’t sensed Terence, Em?”
She shook her head. “No. And I walked the boundaries of the city. If he was within a day of here, I would know.”
“What do you think he’s got planned next?”
“You’re supposed to be sleeping.”
“I will. In a moment.” I yawned. “I just need to know. What do you think?”
“I think that maybe the kind of thing that happened at the station is what he’s got planned next. Stupid, senseless violence, perpetrated by Illegals. A few more attacks like that, and people will look at us all as if we’re killers.” She bowed her head, and whispered, “I’m sorry, Ash.”
And there it was. I’d known she’d been blaming herself. It was the source of the sadness in her face, and why I’d pushed her to talk about Terence. “You’re not your brother, and you’re no
t responsible for the things he does. You have to know that, Em, because I need you to be strong. So you can help me. And Pen.”
She looked up. “Pen?”
“I promised her something, right before … before the end. I promised her a better world. It was the only thing she wanted, and I can’t do it by myself.” My throat was closing over again, only not because of tears. It was fear that was choking me. I hadn’t realised how scared I was of failing until I’d admitted out loud that this was one promise I might not be able to keep. “All this guilt over things that aren’t your fault makes you weak, and you can’t help me if you’re weak.”
Ember lifted her chin, and the sadness retreated. Banished to where it couldn’t destroy her, for now. “You can rely on me.”
“I know.”
“And,” she added, “it wasn’t your fault either. If I can’t blame myself, then you don’t get to blame yourself. Deal?”
That was the problem with best friends; they knew you as well as you knew them.
“Deal.” Which was another promise I wasn’t sure I could keep. I closed my eyes, because there was nothing more to say and anyway it was too hard to keep them open any longer. But I kept hold of Em’s hand and she kept hold of mine. As I dozed off, it occurred to me that we were both doing it for the same reason.
We each wanted the other to know that she wasn’t alone.
THE SONG
GEORGIE
Penelope was dead.
She had died three days ago. That was when Mr Snuffles had thrown back his head and howled and howled. He’d done it for hours, and when he couldn’t howl any more he’d whimpered. Then he’d lain on the ground and gone very quiet.
The whole Tribe knew that the only thing that would make Mr Snuffles act like that was if something bad had happened to Pen. Everyone was worried. I didn’t tell them not to be. I couldn’t tell them that, because I’d Seen a future change and the change was so big I knew it was a death. But the only thing we could do for Penelope now was to take care of her dog. So that’s what I told them to do, and that’s what we did.
The Foretelling of Georgie Spider Page 7