“You want me to choose their punishment?” I ask.
“It is the least we can do for what you have done for our people.”
It is a strange thing to have the two people who caused me the most suffering bowed before me, awaiting my judgment. I could do anything to them. Have them beheaded. Issue them their own mattugrs to see how they like it.
Those are my first thoughts. I can’t help it. I suffered greatly because of what they did. But if there is anything I learned out in the wild, it is that a mattugr proves nothing. It does not turn one person from a child to an adult. It does not suddenly turn you into a great warrior or fill your head with wisdom. It is a pointless task meant to restore honor. But honor cannot be given. It is something that you find within yourself.
And I think Mother finally found hers.
Mother cannot bear to maintain eye contact with me, it would seem, for she turns her gaze downward. In a hollow voice, she says, “I begged the goddess for forgiveness every night you were gone. I prayed for your deliverance from the wild. Now that she has answered my pleadings, I will accept any fate you choose for me.”
She’s probably telling the truth, and there may be hope for our future together—but right now, I don’t trust her, and I don’t want her in my life.
But I also don’t want her dead.
“Mother told a lie,” I say, looking into the frail face of the woman who caused me so much pain for so many years. “Her conscience has started to suffer for it, and the goddess will decide what to do with her in the next life. But for this life, I ask that she be removed from me. I don’t want to see her. She is not to live in my household. If I enter the eatery, and she is there, she will leave it. If she sees me in the streets, she is to turn around and go in the opposite direction. She will take herself from my path unless I should seek her out directly.”
A sigh goes through my father, a small sign of relief. What had he been fearing? Banishment? He does care for her, then. Just not as much as he should. But that is between my parents to work out. It is no fault of mine.
“But Torrin?” I continue, and Torrin’s head snaps in my direction at the sound of his name. “Torrin didn’t just lie. He intentionally set out to have me banished, hoping that I would die out in the wild. What he did was practically murder.”
Out of curiosity, I ask him, “Do you have anything to say to me?”
“It was a joke,” Torrin says. “And not my idea. It was Havard’s. Besides, surely it was the goddess’s will since you rid us all of Peruxolo! I should be thanked, not punished.”
But I see through his lies now. It was no joke. He will say anything to save his own skin.
“He is to be banished,” I say. “And if he can survive three months in the wild, just like I did, then he is free to return. Havard will share his punishment, for he is just as responsible for what happened to me.”
“Wise decisions,” Father says. “Kachina, you are free to go, but should you disregard Rasmira’s edict, you will be banished yourself. Torrin, you will collect your things and prepare to leave Seravin. Do not seek refuge in another village, for they will be notified of your treachery.”
Torrin hurls curses and hateful words my way, but Father hauls him up and shoves him in the direction of his home.
“Hurry, or I will change my mind about allowing you time to grab your things.” Then Father stands before Soren and me. “All has been put to rights. You may take as much time as you need to heal before joining the warriors to retrieve our belongings from the mountain. You will now join me in village meetings to further your preparation to rule. I am proud of what I made you. You will do great things, Rasmira.”
“I already have, Father. And you may have helped shape me, but I made myself. I’ve become what I wanted.”
He seems confused by my response, but he says nothing of it. “As for you,” Father says, turning to Soren, “are you courting my daughter?”
“Yes, sir,” Soren says.
“You haven’t asked my permission.”
“You sent your daughter to die out in the wild. Why should I ask you anything where she is concerned?”
It is with great effort that I manage to keep my face still at Soren’s audacity.
Father looks down at the ground. “Well answered. I thank you for being there for her when I was not. Will you be returning to Restin? You know Rasmira cannot leave. She is to stay here and rule.”
“Father! I am a woman now. What I do is no longer your concern!”
Soren says, “I wouldn’t dream of taking her away from here unless she wished it. I’d like to stay in Seravin, if that’s all right?”
“It is,” Father says after a moment. “You may join the ranks of warriors in the village.”
“Thank you.”
“Go get some rest. Both of you. There is much to rebuild.”
Father walks away, the circle of elders following after him. I take Soren’s hand in mine and tug him back toward home.
“Rebuild?” Soren asks. “Nothing was broken.”
“Our way of life was,” I answer. “No more Peruxolo. The village will need to adjust. And we can improve things! Just wait until we introduce everyone to strong trees, to building with wood!”
Soren doesn’t appear to share my enthusiasm. He kicks a loose pebble from the road. “You know, your father is right. You will make a fine leader, but I have to ask, is that even what you want?”
I’m taken aback by the question. “No one has ever bothered to ask me if that’s what I want. My father assumed that because I took after him with the ax, I would also become the next ruler and carry on the Bendrauggo legacy. It has been expected of me for as long as I can remember.”
“Do you want it?”
Without pause, I answer, “I do. I want to change things. I want to cease punishing failed trials with mattugrs, to save them only as punishment for the gravest of crimes. I can’t change things if I’m not ruling, but I will do things differently than my father. I hope that I will better listen to those around me and use the advice of others before making decisions.”
Soren grins, but it looks forced somehow, as though his thoughts are somewhere else. I pull him off to the side of the road, away from the busy traffic, down a side street that is much more quiet, before bringing us to a stop.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I’m sorry for presuming with your father back there—I didn’t actually get a chance to ask you first. Are you all right if I stay in Seravin with you?” He watches my face carefully, as though he doesn’t want to miss any physical reaction to the words.
Is he serious? “Soren, we already talked about this. Yes, of course!”
“But that was back when things were only possibilities. Now this is for real.”
“I want you here, for real. For always.”
He pulls me to him and brushes his lips against my forehead in just the way I like. I close my eyes against that touch, savoring it.
I know this feeling will not last forever. The ziken are still a constant threat. Father is still a selfish individual. There will always be those who are unfair and cruel. Ruling a village will not be easy.
But I am Rasmira Bendrauggo. God Killer. Survivor of the wild. Future leader of Seravin. I am both a woman and a warrior.
And I will not let anyone cause me to forget.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
YOU WOULD THINK WRITING would get easier with each book, but it doesn’t. Each project presents its own challenges, and WotW proved to be the hardest yet. I have so many people to thank for helping make it the book it is.
Rachel Brooks, a huge thank-you for being the best agent a writer could ask for. You helped me pitch and shape this book, and it wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for you. Thank you for all the phone calls, encouraging emails, and enthusiasm. I’m so glad to have you on my team. #TeamBrooks!
Holly West, as always, thank you for your amazing edits. I’m always blown away by your insights. Thanks for stic
king with me through another book! (And I’m so excited about our next one!)
Brittany Pearlman, my tiny general, thank you so much for all the scheduling and planning you do to help me connect with my readers. You’re the best publicist!
Lauren Festa, thank you for all the work you did marketing my books! I’m so sad to be losing you, but I hope you have all the fun times at your next job! Caitlin Crocker and Allegra Green, I’m so excited to have you as my new marketing team! I’m looking forward to all the things we’re going to do together.
Thank you so much, Nekro, for the breath taking ax illustration! It is better than anything I ever could have imagined. Liz Dresner, thank you for your astonishing design work! I hope you do all my future books, as well!
Starr Baer and Jackie Hornberger, thank you for your copyedits! There’s nothing more annoying than getting pulled out of a book because you found a typo. I appreciate the work you do so much!
Dillon James West, thanks for giving the manuscript a read and providing feedback when Holly and I needed fresh eyes! It was so appreciated!
And thank you to everyone else over at Macmillan Children’s and BookEnds who worked behind the scenes to make this book possible!
I had so many readers provide feedback on this book. I apologize if I forgot anyone!
Taralyn Johnson, thank you for reading this book so quickly and for going through so many early versions. Your feedback was invaluable, and it gave me the strength to let other people see this book, too.
Shanna, thanks for reading an early version and being so open with your feedback! Guess what? You were right!
Russ, thanks for letting me pepper you with questions about speargun fishing. I was so sad to have to cut the spearguns, but I still used so many of your insights in my underwater scene.
Thank you so much, Cale Dietrich, for giving this story a read! Publishing twins for life!!!
Charlie N. Holmberg, thank you for reading through my sample chapters and giving feedback. You’re awesome. So glad we’re friends and CPs.
Thanks, Emily R. King, for reading my initial pitch of this book. You are an amazing person and an inspiration to me. Thank you also to Kyra Nelson and Chersti Nieveen and Bridget Howard, for giving this a read!
Thank you so much, Sarah Talley and Megan Gadd, for reading this manuscript in its rough form. Your friendship means more to me than I can ever express.
Thank you also to all the Bookstagrammers, BookTubers, bloggers, reviewers, Twitter peeps, and internet friends for boosting and supporting my books. There are simply too many of you now for me to name you all, but thank you. I know who you are, and I appreciate all you do.
To my readers, new and old, thank you for supporting me. I wouldn’t get to do what I love so much without you. I hope you enjoyed Rasmira’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I need to give a quick shout-out to Haley Gibson, who puts up with having a gamer and a writer as a roommate. You are awesome!
And lastly, to my family: Becki, Johnny, and Alisa, thanks for playing Overwatch with me in the evenings. I always look forward to it, and you guys give me the breaks I need from writing.
Mom and Dad, thanks for your constant support and love. Parents make such good villains in teen books, but I promise the fictional mothers and fathers are not a reflection of you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tricia Levenseller, author of Daughter of the Pirate King and its sequel Daughter of the Siren Queen, is from a small town in Oregon, but she now lives next to the Rocky Mountains in Utah with her bossy dog, Rosy. She received her degree in English language and editing, and she is thrilled that she never has to read a textbook again. When she’s not writing or reading, Tricia enjoys putting together jigsaw puzzles, playing volleyball, and watching her favorite TV shows while eating extra-buttered popcorn. tricialevenseller.com, or sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraph
Part 1. The Trial
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Part 2. The Wild
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Part 3. The Mattugrs
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Part 4. The God
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
Copyright © 2019 by Tricia Levenseller
A Feiwel and Friends Book
An imprint of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010
fiercereads.com
All rights reserved.
Feiwel and Friends logo designed by Filomena Tuosto
Library of Congress Control Number: 2018945026
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First hardcover edition 2019
eBook edition February 2019
eISBN 9781250189950
Warrior of the Wild Page 26