Deep Sea Dead

by Lori Avocato

  Gotta love those two.

  “Gold, you really are making me seasick, and we haven’t even boarded yet.” He stopped the dancing and smiled. “I’m so thrilled.” I stood on tiptoes and kissed each one on the cheek. “You guys are the best.”

  Miles put a protective arm around my shoulder. “You deserve the best, Pauline.”

  After a few more shouts and cheers, I left my friends to go get processed in as a staff member, with the promise that I’d find them later.

  After I was checked in within an inch of my life by security, I headed up a slight incline of a gangplank. Once inside, I had to stop and take a breath. I wish I could experience this with Goldie and Miles.

  The inside of the ship, like a lobby of sorts, was gold, purple, glass and chrome everything, and was decorated like a Las Vegas hotel. Glass elevators swam gracefully up the walls. Chatter filled the air, but in the background, soft music from a string quartet gave the Golden Dolphin the aura of what the Titanic must have been like.

  The top of the ceiling was lighted glass in a very pale violet color surrounded by…more gold. Dolphins were painted swimming on the ceiling above, and it was as if the passengers were below the surface of the water.

  Fountains in the center floor spouted colorful water shooting several feet into the air. Around the fountain were steps that led gracefully to a lower level. How fabulous.

  For a second I couldn’t believe I was actually still in New York City. No horns beeping. No sirens screaming. No “scents” of the city.

  It smelled like a fresh ocean breeze.

  After asking several of the crew for directions, I found my way to my quarters, which were located across from the infirmary on the third deck. Very convenient. The crewmembers had to live several decks below the passengers, and even had their own recreation spots, I’d been told.

  I opened the door to see twin beds along two walls, covered in white spreads, in a room no bigger than a closet. The walls, too, were as white as the two stuffed chairs. I guessed the cruise-ship industry had cornered the market on white. Instead of windows, there were tiny portholes in the wall.

  Oops. My claustrophobia came to mind.

  I ignored it, telling myself this was a job. A job that I needed and could do.

  On a desk near the portholes sat a note addressed to me. It was from the nurse I had to share the room with. She introduced herself as Jacquelyn Arneau and said she was French. No kidding. Real French, as in, came from France for this job. Seems as if the crew was a mixture of nationalities. Jacquelyn also said which bed she’d already claimed and that she hoped I didn’t snore or spread anything of mine onto her side.

  Suddenly I realized why the French were not number one on the list of favorite tourist nationalities.

  Should be an interesting job.

  Two

  After unpacking what little I had brought on the ship-with the hopes I wouldn’t be here long and maybe even have the case solved before the ship docked in Miami-I decided to walk the long hallways and do a bit of snooping while also trying to find what luxurious accommodations my friends had.

  I knew my day of orientation wasn’t going to start right away. My paperwork said someone would contact me after two o’clock, since the ship set sail at five.

  My heart fluttered at the thought.

  Ignoring an impending fear, I walked along the beige-and-gold carpeted hallway and retraced my steps until I was back to square one. I went to the reception desk, introduced myself, showed my ID and found out where Goldie and Miles were.

  Before I knew it, I was on Deck Eleven, tapping on the door to Penthouse Suite 1109. “Hey, guys, it’s me.”

  The door swung open and Goldie, sans wig-which always gave him an eerie yet endearing look-pulled me inside. “Suga! Isn’t this so much fun?”

  I looked around their room. The main décor of burnt orange, deep reds, beiges and mint greens with stripes carried over to the gigantic king-sized bed and matching drapes. The suite was bigger than our condo at home. “Yeah, it looks like fun for you two. Me, I’m stuck in a sardine can of a room with a Frenchwoman who hopes I don’t snore.”

  Goldie hugged me. “You do snore, Suga.”

  I rolled my eyes and pulled away, walking around their room in an envious trance. “My room is so small,” I muttered.

  Miles came out of what I peeked in to see was the bathroom, without a “folding” sink, and said, “Pauline, if you start to feel cramped in your room, just come up here with us.”

  I started to say I’d run and get my toothbrush and nightie right now, but instead said, “Thanks. I won’t be in my room too much, since I’ll be working.”

  Goldie gasped. “I hope you get some time to play with us.”

  “You and me both, Gold.” I noticed they had fresh flowers and a fruit basket on a table near their balcony-and all I had was the note about my snoring.

  Goldie touched my arm. “Before you get maudlin, let’s go watch the people on the dock waving goodbye and pretend we know them. It’ll be fun before you have to go to work.”

  I nodded and while they both changed, I walked around the room pretending it was mine and even went out onto the balcony and ate an apple from their basket-again pretending it was mine.

  I had to get back to reality soon, so the three of us made our way down to the main deck, which was several floors above my cabin. On the way, Miles teased me that they had a balcony suite with butler service. I said that was because two guys could afford the Ritz with combined male salaries, and I again moaned and groaned at my tiny dwelling. We laughed and chatted all the way to the main deck.

  As always, they made me feel much better.

  I looked around the ship for as far as I could see. Even in the dead of winter in Connecticut, I’ve never seen so much white. White sparkled at me like a snowy day as we walked along the deck. Hunter green and white-stripped lounge chairs were lined up alongside the walls and were already filled with imbibing passengers.

  The buildings of New York City made a picturesque background of grays and browns compared to the brilliance of the ship. Gold everything was the accent color of choice, with nautical navy-colored dolphins decorating the ship’s outer walls.

  We headed to the banister and watched as more passengers boarded. The excitement in the air was palpable, and I started to feel as if I were in some black-and-white (and gold) movie, waiting for Cary Grant to come strolling up the gangplank-if that’s what they still called it. In fact, the ship sat fairly level with the dock so passengers didn’t have to do any pseudo mountain climbing to get onboard.

  Goldie placed me between the two of them as we waved to strangers below. I was kind of surprised that so many people had come to see the ship off, since cruises were a daily occurrence around here, but I soon found out from one of the crewmembers that this cruise time was on the city tour map. The people below were mostly sightseers and had come to watch the ship set sail.

  “It’s still fun!” I shouted to Goldie and Miles.

  Miles nodded. “At least we can pretend that we know the people madly waving to us.”

  We all laughed and shouted out various names as if we really did know them. I scanned the crowd and decided which ones were my friends and which were family. “That guy over there looks like my Uncle Walt,” I said. “Hey, Uncle Walt! Bye!”

  Miles nodded.

  Goldie agreed.

  I leaned closer. “Wow. He really does. And that lady-”

  “Yoo-hoo! Pauline!”

  I turned to my friends. “I think the sun is getting to me. I could swear I just heard my mother yoo-hooing!”

  Goldie touched my forehead. “It’s cloudy today, Suga. I think you need some medical attention yourself.” We all laughed.

  “Pączki! Pączki!”

  Goldie leaned over the railing. “I thought I heard your father calling his nickname for you. You know, that word for the big, fat, round, prune-filled Polish donut.”

  “Pronounced like ‘p
aunchki,’” I mumbled, afraid to admit that I’d heard it too.

  Miles leaned closer to Goldie and pointed. “Yikes.”

  “What?” I bent to see where they were looking. “Oh…my…God.”

  Walking up into the ship was Mother, Father, Uncle Walt and some strange lady with blue hair. I collapsed into Goldie’s chest.

  “You think they are just coming to see us off?” I said in a pleading tone.

  They both looked at me and said, “Do you?”

  “Damn.”

  “I’d use something stronger than that,” Goldie said in a very consoling tone.

  “Pauline! Yoo-hoo! We are coming along. Uncle Walt got us a wonderful deal on eBay!” eBay? Who knew Stella Sokol would ever utter the word eBay?

  I forced a smile and watched my family walk onto the ship-and felt my insides knot up tighter than the sailor’s knots in the ship’s lines, holding us there in port.

  “So, we decided we could all use a vacation,” my mother said where we all stood in the ornate gold-and-purple lobby.

  I realized what she said was a blatant lie. My parents were here to watch over me, just like my two friends were. I should be glad, but I had a job to do and didn’t need any interference.

  And oh, could Stella Sokol interfere.

  I politely explained to my mother that this was a singles cruise, and maybe they’d rather wait for another one-as if the ships came in to dock like taxicabs.

  She gave me one of those “Really, Pauline” looks and stopped me from arguing before I could open my mouth. Daddy was mesmerized by the ornate lobby and stood staring and silent.

  Guess it wouldn’t hurt to have them take a vacation.

  Other than going to war in Korea, my father had never been out of New England either. And the farthest away from Connecticut that Mother had been was Maine.

  A cruise with my family and two closest friends.

  What could it hurt?

  Who was I kidding? What could it hurt to have your parents on the same cruise as you, a never-married thirtysomething? And this a singles cruise, to boot. What if I really did meet Mr. Right, and my parents were along on what would then feel like a claustrophobic tiny vessel, which only held around 490 passengers and a little over 300 crewmembers?

  Despite my logically knowing the ship was the size of Hope Valley, I felt like the walls were closing in on me because the entire Sokol clan was here. Okay, no siblings, but now I wouldn’t be surprised if my brothers, sisters and their families climbed onboard too.

  What the hell was I thinking, telling them where I’d be?

  I leaned toward my mother, who was “yoo-hooing” to every gorgeous male (and there were scads of them) who climbed onboard. “Mom. Mother! Stop doing that. And, is anyone else coming onboard to ‘surprise’ me?”

  Mother turned and grinned. At least I think she was my mother, but damn, outside of Hope Valley Stella Sokol seemed a different person. “That’s why you are still single, Pauline.”

  “Because I don’t yell to strangers?”

  She clucked her tongue. “Because you don’t…Well, you don’t let yourself go. Ever. Live a little.”

  I could only stare. The question “Who are you and what did you do with my mother?” sat on the tip of my tongue. But I couldn’t even get that out. Let myself go and live a little? Suddenly the Bermuda Triangle was sounding like less and less of a threat, since now I was living in the Twilight Zone.

  My relatives were all greeted, and everyone was ushered to their cabins by the staff. I wondered if I could avoid the Sokols for the remainder of their trip, but then reminded myself that I was talking about my mother. If any investigative skills came naturally to me, they had to be in the genes passed on by her. She could find a hidden cookie in a kid’s sock drawer during a blackout while she had the cold of the century.

  After we parted, I thanked the guy who helped me find my way back to my cabin. I unlocked the door and walked in to see several suitcases sitting in the middle of the room.

  On the twin bed near the porthole lay a woman.

  “Oops. Sorry.” I checked the number on the door to make sure before closing it and assumed she was my roommate. “Hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “Nope. I’m Jackie,” she managed to say.

  I walked closer and looked down. Her brown hair fanned across the pillow like a mermaid’s. Deep, dark eyes that could be haunting if it weren’t for the watery look that made her appear more ill than sexy. Her lips were colored in deep red, but smudged on the bottom, giving her a kind of glamorous hooker appearance.

  “Pauline Sokol. I’m only filling in until they find a permanent nurse.”

  Jackie’s eyes grew large, and then she merely groaned and shifted. “None of the medical staff is permanent. This month we get to sail with Dr. Peter VanHamon, a freaking OB/GYN from Minneapolis. Probably had some ER training in his past, but who knows how long ago. Dear Peter and I have sailed many times together. Cross your fingers that there are no cardiac problems this trip.” She chuckled, then coughed and shut her eyes.

  “Oh.” Oh? That was all I could manage? Not wanting to stare at her, and reminding myself that she might be the one showing me the ropes, I looked out the porthole and thought of the doctor who could deliver babies for the swinging singles but probably not splint a broken wrist. Whoa! The skyline of New York City was moving!

  I jumped and let out a shout.

  Jackie grabbed her head. “Cripes, Sokol. I hope you’re not going to act like some femme who’s never left home.”

  I should have been insulted, but Jackie spoke in a French accent, so whatever she said seemed so impressive, I almost didn’t care what it was. As I watched the Statue of Liberty get smaller and smaller, I said, “Sorry. Are you not feeling well?”

  “Hungover, Sokolé. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

  I looked back and wondered why a beautiful young woman would drink so much that she’d look, and obviously feel, like crap the next day. “Did you party too much last night?” Everyone was allowed at least one faux pas.

  “I didn’t party at all.”

  Her tone sounded so, well, sad. I could feel my forehead crease, as she lay there with her breathing rather shallow. She moaned.

  “I just assumed-”

  “Do not assume anything around here, Pauline Sokolé. Nothing.” With that she shut her eyes, while mine bugged out at the scary thought. It wasn’t only what she said, but how she’d said it.

  Suddenly my singles cruise of fun and bronzed men had become a cruise to hell.

  I said a quick prayer to my favorite saint, Saint Theresa, that it would be a round-trip.

  I managed to finish unpacking as quietly as I could while Jackie slept. I wondered what my family was doing, but knew I couldn’t go traipsing about to find them. What size was my parents’ cabin? I wondered, then hoped it was nice and large, since they deserved to get away and have fun.

  Only not on my cruise!

  After there was nothing else to rearrange or unpack, I looked at Jackie. Maybe I should wake her to find out what to do to get to work.

  Before I could, a knock sounded on our door.

  I looked through the peephole to see a woman standing there. Dressed in white slacks and shirt, she looked as if she were in the Navy.

  I opened the door. “Hi.”

  “Pauline?”

  I nodded. “Come on in.” Then I said, “My roommate is sleeping,” as if the woman couldn’t see Jackie passed out.

  “I’m Betty Halfpenny. No relation to Money-penny from 007.” She chuckled while I admired her English accent. “Born and bred in London, educated U.S., nursing degree from University of Pennsylvania. Real name Elizabeth-no great surprise, with the queen and all-but to annoy my mum, I started calling myself Betty in my teen years and it stuck. Family has royal connections, but don’t ask me about them.”

  In one hand she held a hanger of white clothing. She reached out to shake mine with the other. “Oh, these are yours
. Put them on for a little orientation. They should fit. The paperwork said you were a bloody size four. I hope the trousers are not too baggy.” She laughed. “No great surprise that Jackie is napping.”

  Betty was several inches shorter than myself, a few pounds heavier and had curly red hair, which went splendidly (I thought in a mock English accent) with the millions of freckles on her face, arms and neck.

  I took the clothing and wondered what she meant by “don’t ask about the royalty” part. Maybe she just didn’t know that much about it. “Yes. Four. Thanks.”

  She looked at Jackie. “Did you at least get to meet her before she went to the land of Winken, Blinken and Nod?”

  “I did.”

  “She’s a great nurse, but sometimes has bad form. You know, has issues.”

  Issues? Hmm. Could be right up my alley.

  In my past cases, I’d found that disgruntled employees often sang like canaries where fraud was concerned. I’d have to buy Jackie a drink tonight-if she sobered up by then-and hear what tune she sang.

  All I knew from Fabio was that someone (and he never shared with me who it was) had reported possible fraud involving overcharging patients for medical care while out at sea and then skimming the difference off when the insurance companies coughed up the huge amounts.

  Fraud cost the insurers thousands of dollars. They kept raising their rates up and up so they wouldn’t have to shoulder the losses, and as a middleman, it cost Fabio too. Nothing started his day off on the wrong foot like losing money.

  All I had to do was find out the who, how and how come of this case. Ha! Nothing was ever easy in this business, but I figured there had to be a few folks involved, to pull off this kind of scam.

  “I’ll give you five to change in the loo, and I’ll come back for you,” Betty said.

  “Thanks. Shall I wake Jackie?”

  Betty shook her head. “Not that I think you could, but it’s her day off. Always better to leave her be.”