Lance was going one direction but my mind was going another. They were all together while the news was on. Was Cassie with me at the time, or was she there? I was racking my brain, trying to figure out how to ask without being obvious. Lance was the one man I didn't want to find out about what had happened at my place that night. You'd think it would have been James that I would have worried about, but it wasn't. It wasn't even her dad. The one man I knew would come after my ass was Lance. I wasn't family to him. He'd broken the nose of his own family for touching one of his girls. What would he do to me? The man still had it, and I had a career that was in a very fragile spot. There was no way I wanted to shake that up at all.
“You should have seen Cassie's face,” he said, and my thoughts instantly went quiet. “That girl is something else.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying not to sound interested but wanting to know what he was talking about.
“She looked like she'd seen a ghost when they said your name in the same sentence as the word Pirate,” he said with a laugh. “I love the woman, but she definitely missed the sports gene. Sammie stuck up for you though. James was not happy about that.”
He was rattling on, but my mind was spinning. Why would my name and the word Pirate together have her reacting that way? Had she come to my place after the moment he was talking about? He'd said last night, so it had to have been after she'd gone home. She'd seen all my Pirate stuff, so why the reaction? Wait, why would Sammie need to stick up for me? What the fuck was I missing?
“Hey guys,” I heard Sammie before I saw her.
“I was just telling Parker about Cassie seeing him on the news and how you defended him,” Lance said.
“Yeah,” Sammie said, as she pulled Jillian's coat off. “She's been acting weird lately.”
“Her man is an asshole,” Lance said. “She caught him with another woman.”
“Grandpa,” Jillian said, as she looked up at Lance.
“Sorry,” he said, as he scooped his littlest girl up and twirled her around as she giggled.
“Since we got back from Thanksgiving, it's gotten worse,” Sammie said. “You saw the pieces of her phone, Dad. That's not like her. Jeff must have done something. I don't want to push her. She needs to make her own decisions. I'm going to kick her ass if she goes back to him though. She'll be fine without him. She just needs to get herself together. Look at last night. She never even told anyone she was leaving. I know James doesn't want to say anything. He hasn't seen her in so long. I think he's just happy she's here, and he feels bad that he's been over at Lance and Lauren's so much. Not to mention the fact that he's keeping a pretty big secret of his own from her.”
“What secret?” I asked, not being able to help myself.
The front door opened, and in walked Lauren. She not only had Jackson with her, but she had Jenny and Jeff as well.
“Parker,” Jenny yelled out, as she came running at me with Jackson right next to her.
“Will you play with us?” Jackson asked.
“Of course,” I said, as I kept my eyes on Sammie, trying to get even a tiny clue of what she was talking about.
I played with the kids, but Cassie was all I could think about. Why hadn't she come? What the fuck was James hiding? Why had Sammie had to defend me with Cassie? None of them had said anything else about her, and after about an hour, I got the heck out of there.
The next two days went pretty close to the same, except nobody mentioned Cassie at all. I'd picked up my phone at least twenty times to text her, but each time I put it back down. If she didn't want to talk to me, then I didn't care. There was no way I was chasing her. I didn't even want her.
By the third day, I found myself worrying and had to ask about her.
“Where's Cassie?” I asked. “I'm kind of surprised you've been bringing the kids without her. It seemed like you were dragging her here before.”
“Just being her,” Sammie answered. “She's sitting at home, doing absolutely nothing.”
As I watched her kids play, looking so much happier than they'd been the first time they were there, I couldn't help but wonder if she'd done anything about what I'd started helping her with. If not, she could lose it all. He could get their kids. She wouldn't really do something that dumb, would she?
“She's not doing anything?” I asked, trying to get my answer without being super obvious.
“Just moping around in sweats and a t-shirt,” she answered, as she shook her head.
Shit! She had to finish the paperwork before it was too late, I thought. How would it look if she didn't? It would look as if she didn't give a shit about her kids. I wanted so badly to tell Sammie, but I couldn't. I told Cassie I wouldn't say anything, and I had to stand by that. I'd promised her. She was a grown woman. Her decisions were hers to make. It just pissed me off that she was putting the future of her beautiful children at stake.
The second Sammie walked away, Lauren was right there next to me.
“Why do you care so much?” she asked.
“I don't,” I said, as I continued looking straight ahead.
There was no way I was looking at her.
“Oh really?” she asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
“You two are pathetic,” she said, as she lowered her voice.
“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, as I turned to her.
“She's the same way,” she said.
“Hey,” I snapped out from under my breath. “She's the one that walked away from me.”
“And you don't care,” she said, as more of a statement.
“Not one fucking bit,” I replied sternly.
“Okay,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.
“Shut up,” I snapped again, louder than before.
She didn't say anything right away, and I couldn't take the quiet.
“Is she really doing nothing?” I asked.
“Sits in her room all damn day,” she answered. “She did actually put some real clothes on and leave the house yesterday for about an hour. She said she had something to do. She took a bag with her. Everything seemed the same when she came back though. She went right back to her room and got back in her sweats.”
“What kind of bag?” I asked.
“Really?” she asked.
“Lauren,” I hissed through clenched teeth.
“A laptop bag,” she said, and I nodded. “What's going on, Parker? What is it you know?”
“Not a thing,” I answered innocently.
“I know you don't care, but she'll be here tomorrow,” she said, as she turned to walk toward the playing kids. “Make sure you are too.”
“What?” I yelled after her.
“You heard me,” she said, as she waved me off from over her shoulder.
I turned and walked toward the back to get my stuff. There was no way I was staying any longer. Laptop bag, I thought. Had she taken her computer? Had she finished the papers? Did she mail them? I had sent her one message on that first day. It reminded her that she needed to get moving along with the link of where she needed to start. Had she done it? She'd never replied, and that pissed me off too. A simple thank you would have been nice. Of course, she couldn't do that, not her.
“Screw it,” I said, as I got into my car and pulled out of the lot.
If she was going to be there, then so was I. She was going to explain her sudden change of interest. I could be a much bigger pain in the ass than she ever could. Cassie didn't know who she was messing with. After I got the answers I wanted, I would be the one walking away, leaving her to wonder what the fuck had just happened.
Chapter 12
Cassie
The kids asked each day if we could go play baseball. I said no, but between Sammie and Lauren, they went each day without me. There was no way I wanted to see him, not after what we'd done and what I'd found out. I also needed to take care of the papers he'd shown me online and find a good lawyer.
The kids being gone act
ually gave me the time I needed. I stayed in my room each day from morning until night. Parker had sent me a text with a link to the forms he'd began asking me the questions from. That saved me a ton of time trying to find them. I should have thanked him, but I didn't. He hadn't said anything else, and I didn't want to make it seem as if I wanted to talk to him. I did want to talk to him, but he didn't know that, and I wasn't planning on him ever finding that out.
When Lauren and Sammie came back one of the days, I left the baby with them and took my laptop to the store so I could print out the papers. I'd had to borrow twenty dollars from James to print them and send them certified mail, hoping that I'd have the whole lawyer situation taken care of before the little green card came back in the mail. It was much easier to ask for the twenty than it would have been to get him to print and mail them for me. He would have seen what they were, and that would have opened up a whole can of something I still wasn't ready to deal with. Christmas needed to pass before I went to James and Sammie about the lawyer. The day after Christmas would even be fine, but not a day sooner.
It wasn't as easy to find a lawyer as I thought it would be. I'd called a bunch from Michigan and Pennsylvania. Some of them were going to call me back, and the others had given me quotes over the phone after asking me questions. I was asking everything I could think of, needing to find the perfect one. I wanted custody of my kids, and I didn't want to take the slightest chance that it wouldn't happen. It was something I couldn't screw up. The person I picked would hold the fate of my family in their hands. That wasn't something I could decide lightly. Jeff would positively have the best team behind him, and I needed to be ready with an arsenal even better than his behind me. Somehow I had to make that happen without a penny to my name. He was not getting our kids. They were staying with me. I didn't care what happened to everything else. When I told the last lawyer I talked to that, he laughed.
“Whatever you do, do not say that in front of him, his team, or the judge,” he said. “That's your first lesson.”
It was true. I needed my babies. Other than them, I didn't care what he took from me.
I went down to dinner and sat quietly, thinking about Parker, what we'd done, the fact that I wasn't even divorced and I'd been with another man, and that I'd soon have to find a way to tell not only Sammie and James but also the rest of the family about Jeff filing, the papers he'd sent me, and that I would need a ton of money to fight the man that was supposed to love me.
The kids had finished eating and gone to their rooms, so it was just James, Sammie, and me at the table. It felt strange. I could feel the tension filling the air around us and couldn't help but wonder what was going on. I was pretty sure that I was the only one that didn't know.
After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore and stood up. That was when Sammie let me have it.
“We need to talk to you, Cassie,” she said.
James looked over at her with his eyes narrowed, and she shook her head. Then she turned her eyes to me.
“I can't do this anymore,” she said.
“What?” I asked.
“I thought you were getting a bit better and then bam,” she said, doing some strange motion before smacking her hands together. “You sit in your room in sweats all day. It's bullshit. I'm down here with four kids the entire day. Sometimes I even have five. Not to mention the fact that I am pregnant. I have a house to take care of and a man that I love as well. By the time the kids are in bed at night, I'm done. I fall asleep in seconds. I'm five months along now, Cassie. It's taking a toll on me. It wouldn't be bad if you were doing something productive, but you're not. All you do is sit in bed and sulk. I don't even know what it is you're sulking about. You haven't said a damn thing to us. You've obviously heard from Jeff by the looks of your old phone. You have some decisions to make.”
“Just give me a few days,” I said. “Right after Christmas.”
“That's the same shit I heard at Thanksgiving,” she said, sounding frustrated. “I'm done. I'm sorry. You need to pick your ass up and bring it down here to take care of your kids in the morning. I'm not doing another thing. I love them, Cassie, but it's too much. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but they are your kids. You need to take care of them. I'm their aunt, not their nanny.”
I let out a huff at her last line. I wasn't treating her like a nanny. She didn't understand.
“I'm not sitting in my room doing nothing,” I said, my voice going up a notch.
“Sure looks like it to me,” she said.
I shook my head, and she said something that blew me away.
“Maybe you should give them to Jeff,” she said.
James nostrils flared, and his eyes shot a look of warning in her direction.
“What? No! How can you say that?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“You're not taking care of them,” she said with a shrug, “and he has a nanny.”
“No way,” I snapped out. “They are my kids, and I love them. They will be with me. If you don't want us here, we'll leave, but I am not giving them to him.”
James moved to stand up, but Sammie grabbed his arm to stop him.
“We do want you here, all of you,” she said. “I just can't take care of all five kids alone, Cassie. You need to do this. You are their mother, and they need you. Don't you think this is bothering them too? They're hurting just as much as you, and they need their mom.”
I wanted so badly to tell her that my time in my room was for them. I was trying to get everything in line before I talked to her and James. If I had to borrow money, that was all I wanted to need from them. I didn't want them worrying and trying to find a lawyer too. It wasn't their job. I wanted to tell them, but I wouldn't do it until after Christmas. Once they got back from Michigan, I'd tell them everything. There was no way I wanted them thinking about my problems while they were visiting grandma and my parents. I just needed a few more days.
“I'll take care of them from now on,” I said. “I'm sorry for everything.”
I walked over, picked up the baby, and then headed toward the stairs. How could she even suggest me giving Jeff the kids, I wondered?
“Cassie,” she called out to me, but I didn't stop.
I walked up the stairs and down the hall to the kids rooms.
“Come with mommy to her room,” I told Jenny and Jeff.
They both told Jillian they'd see her later and followed behind me. The four of us got onto my bed, and I turned on a movie. Jake was leaning against my front, while Jenny and Jeff each curled in at my sides. When the movie was over, I looked down to find all three of the kids asleep. They really were perfect.
Since moving to James and Sammie's house, I'd seen more smiles and heard more laughs out of my kids than ever before. They loved it there, and I didn't want to take them away from Jillian, Jackson, or Sammie's place. I needed to make a home for us, and I wanted to do it in Pennsylvania. Part of me felt so sad. I missed my parents and grandma so much. They were going to want me to live by them. I knew I'd want to drive to see them often, but I couldn't live there. Jeff wasn't far enough away from them for me. I couldn't be anywhere near him, not after the way he was treating me.
The guilt of not telling them was weighing down on me, and I'd put that same weight on the rest of my family. It wasn't fair to anyone. Grandma and my parents were going to feel so hurt, and not just toward me. They were going to feel that way toward all of us. It wasn't right, and I had to end it. I knew I did. I'd let them all have their holiday together before I shook their world and mine, yet again.
I put Jake in his bed next to mine. Then I looked over at Jenny and Jeff. I needed to put them in their own beds, but I couldn't make myself do it. Instead, I turned out the light and quietly got under the covers between them. I pulled them both close, covered us all, and kissed their foreheads. I'd never once slept with my kids. Jeff would never have allowed them in our bed, and since we'd gotten to James and Sammie's, they'd slept down the hall. I closed my eyes, and f
or the first time since I'd seen her on the other side of my front door, I felt like everything was going to be okay.
Chapter 13
Cassie
The kids were up bright and early, so I turned on some cartoons, and we cuddled under the covers together. I slept better that night than I had since knocking on James and Sammie's door. We were all laughing at the television when I heard a yell coming from the bottom of the stairs.
“Breakfast,” the yell belonged to Lauren. “Come and get it.”
She was something else. It was my fault she was closer to my family than me, and I was the one that needed to fix it.
The kids took off down the steps and hurried to their spots at the table. I brought the baby down with me and put him in the swing. Little James was still asleep, so he wouldn't be using it for a bit. I joined everyone at the table, feeling so damn nervous.
“Cassie,” James said the second my butt hit the chair.
I shook my head, letting him know I wasn't willing to talk about the night before.
“After breakfast, I'm taking Jillian and Jackson to play ball,” Sammie said. “We'd love for you and the kids to join us.”
I wasn't ready to face him, not yet.
“Can we go, mom?” Jenny asked, her voice filled with excitement.
“What about Lauren?” I asked, trying to point out that Sammie was willing to take her son but not my kids.
“I have an appointment with my doctor, and of course both Lances,” Lauren said with a smile.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, instantly feeling nervous for her.
“Yeah,” she said. “Since I don't pop babies out every nine months and it's been years, I'm getting an extra ultrasound. Everything is good though.”
“That's good,” I said.
The second breakfast was over and I stood up, Lauren pulled me to the side.
Out of My League, Part 2 Page 10