Her vitality was low as her body adjusted to the demands of the pregnancy, and as she coped with her workload and looked after Marcus, her concern for Harry was always at the back of her mind, especially because of what she was planning to do. Would he be relieved to discover that she was dealing with it in her own way, accepting that family ties were not his thing? Or would he be dismayed that he’d been shelved in the process of coping with her pregnancy? She wished she knew.
Yet, even so, there was comfort to be had in small doses, such as seeing young Oscar playing on the beach on a warm spring day, doing what boys did, with the rest of his family, and Jasmine calling across for her to tell Harry that she was knitting them both a jumper as thanks for sorting out her eldest. The X-rays had shown that rickets were present in the child, but had been diagnosed early enough for natural growth to be restored.
When she’d passed the message on to Harry he’d said he hoped the garment wouldn’t be pink as that was Jasmine’s favourite colour. She’d replied that whatever colour it was he would have to wear it as it was a very kind thought on her part, and as they’d smiled at the prospect, it had been a brief moment of togetherness.
Another time of tranquillity between them had been on a day when she’d been driving along the coast road on her way to one of her calls and had seen his car parked at the side of the road. When she’d pulled up alongside, she’d found him gazing down at the beach below where Beth and her helpers had taken the children from the nursery for a picnic.
When she’d gone to stand beside him Harry had said, ‘There’s Marcus at the water’s edge with one of Beth’s girls holding tightly to his hand. He just needs to take that one step on his own, doesn’t he? It’s nearly always like that—once they’ve done it they’re off. It’s just a matter of them having the confidence to attempt it. Or being attracted to something so much that they forget about holding onto a support.’
As they’d reluctantly turned away from the scene below, Harry had said, ‘You do realise that once he’s taken the plunge you will need eyes in the back of your head? You will definitely require a gate of some kind at the top of those stairs back at the apartments. I’ll sort that out for you if you like, either make one or buy one.
‘And by the way, what about the lecture for nursing staff regarding new procedures that the NHS is giving the night after next at the hospital? All of you will be expected to attend. Have you given it any thought?’
‘Yes, and that is far as I’ve got,’ she told him. ‘Lucy won’t be able to babysit as she’ll be attending the lecture herself, and even if she wasn’t I don’t want to be continually taking advantage of her good nature.’
‘So why don’t I keep an eye on Marcus? If you remember, I once told you I haven’t got any good nature to put upon, and I’m sure you don’t find that hard to believe. We could leave both our doors open and I could pop in and out all the time to check on him. It’s the obvious solution to the problem.’
‘Yes. I suppose it is,’ she said, wishing that a much bigger problem than that had such a simple remedy and not wanting to seem too eager to accept his suggestion. ‘Yet it will be too early for him to be asleep when I have to leave, though I can have him bathed and in his pyjamas ready for bed before I go.’
‘Fine. It will give us the chance for a little playtime before he goes to sleep, and you a chance to be with people on your own wavelength for a change, as I never seem to be on it.’
When he’d driven off she’d felt tears pricking. In those few moments Harry had sorted out two of her problems, a babysitter and a gate, but unless Marcus decided to step out on his own before they left Bluebell Cove they might not need a gate, not for the apartment anyway.
Yet they couldn’t leave it behind. It would be a labour of love where Harry was concerned, not for her but for her little boy. A reminder of how much he was drawn to him, and as she looked down at her still trim waistline, it was as if they would both be taking something with them to cherish that Harry had given them.
On the night of the lecture, and with only minutes to spare, she called across that she was ready to leave and Harry came striding out of his room and took Marcus from her.
She was looking subdued and he asked, ‘What’s wrong? Are you thinking you’ve drawn the short straw?’
‘If I have, it won’t be the first time,’ she said, noting that Marcus was content to be left now he’d seen Harry. She wondered if it was wise to let them get any closer, yet she reasoned it would only be for a few hours and her little one would be asleep for part of the time.
‘I’ve left his bedtime bottle ready,’ she told him, and with a long last glance at the smiling pair she went quickly down the stairs into the April night.
Phoebe isn’t happy about leaving me in charge of her child, he thought wryly when she’d gone. What does she think I’m going to do? Offer him a game of poker?
‘But, then, she doesn’t know what I’m planning when I come back from the inquest. If she doesn’t turn me down after the way I’ve treated her, the three of us are going have lots of fun and be very happy in a house called Glades Manor. So what do you think about that, Marcus?’
In reply his small charge said the only word in his as yet restricted vocabulary…‘Daddy…’ and Harry wondered chokingly how he ever could have been wary of moments like this.
When Phoebe returned, he was seated beside the cot reading a book, with Marcus sleeping contentedly. He said casually, ‘So how was it?’ he asked casually, raising his eyes from the page. ‘That sort of thing can go on a bit.’
‘It was all right,’ she told him. ‘Lots of information about new procedures and regulations. How was Marcus? Was he good for you?’
He smiled. ‘Of course. He and I are great friends.’
If he’d expected that to bring relief to her expression he was wrong, but, then, he didn’t know what she did, that his days were numbered with her and her child.
It was only a short time after him looking after Marcus, and on his last day at the surgery before setting off on his grim journey, that his comments about the safety measures that would be required when he started walking came into being.
He’d been on his way upstairs to consult a medical journal he’d been reading that had information about a new drug that might benefit a patient he’d just seen. But he wanted to know more about it before he prescribed it, and on the bottom step had found the Easter bunny that he’d bought for Marcus, which he must have dropped as Phoebe had been carrying him up at the end of the day. When he picked it up, he was smiling. It gave him an excuse to knock on her door.
When she opened it wide, he held out the toy and said, ‘I’ve just found this on the stairs.’
Marcus was behind her, standing upright but holding onto the sofa, and the moment he heard Harry’s voice and saw him framed in the doorway he forgot the need for something to cling to and took a step towards him.
On the point of saying thanks for bringing the toy up, Phoebe had her back to him and Harry said in a low voice, ‘Stay still, Phoebe. Marcus has seen me and is on the move. He’s right behind you—one more little step and I’ll have him.’
Then Marcus wobbled past her and into the arms of the man on the landing, and as Harry carried him inside she was weeping tears of regret as she closed the door behind them.
‘What?’ he asked, putting Marcus back onto his feet. ‘What’s wrong Phoebe? Are you upset that he came to me with his first steps instead of you?’
‘No, of course not,’ she told him, wishing that she could do the same as Marcus and walk into his arms. ‘It was such an emotional moment, that’s all.’
He was smiling. ‘Yes, it was, and it’s happened just as I’m off to Australia. I’ve got the wood for the gate and am working on it, but it’s not quite finished, so take care until I get back.’
She couldn’t stand much more of this, she thought. She’d be gone when he came back, but would have been glad to have had the gate as a reminder of how loving
Harry was with Marcus.
Instead, she told him, ‘Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to him. And, Harry, I hope that your ordeal will soon be over when you get there, and you can return to this place that means so much to you.’
She watched a shadow cross his face and felt she’d said the wrong thing, but didn’t know why. Unless it was because she hadn’t mentioned him coming back to her especially, but he was the one who’d set the boundaries, not her.
‘I’ll remember what you’ve said,’ he replied, ‘and now I must get back to my patients.’ He smiled tightly. ‘I’ll see you in a week’s time, Phoebe.’
And that was that, she thought when he’d gone. No tender goodbyes or loving words. If she’d had any last-minute doubts about what she was planning to do, they’d disappeared.
He was crazy, Harry thought when he came up at the end of the day and cast a glance at her closed door. Why hadn’t he taken Phoebe into his arms when they’d been together and explained that the hang-ups and hurts that family life had brought for him had now disappeared?
She’d wept after Marcus had walked his first steps in his direction and he’d wanted to hold her close then, but she’d passed the tears off as the emotion of the moment and the opportunity had passed.
As for their cold goodbye, he couldn’t wait to tell her that his future lay with her. That she was his second chance of love and tenderness. The first one hadn’t been quite what he’d hoped it would be, and since meeting her he’d realised just what he had been missing,
She already had a child so might not want any more, but he could accept Marcus as his own if she would let him and be content. But his mind was leaping ahead. It was just eight hours to him leaving for the airport and in that time he had to pack, make a meal and finish the gate for the top of the stairs.
Phoebe was standing by the window when he drove off at half past two the following morning, and when he looked up, she shrank back out of sight.
His journey would be long, hers much shorter, but they would both be travelling towards trauma, and today would be the first of the rest of her restricted life.
She intended driving up north in the evening when the surgery was closed to avoid awkward questions. During the day she would be making her usual calls to the sick and infirm.
The only people who knew she was leaving were Janet and Leo. They’d had to be told because she wouldn’t be working out her notice. Janet knew because her daughter was ready and willing to step into the vacancy that it would create, and Leo had to be told so that he could make some arrangements of his own.
She’d left the letter she’d written to Harry in Janet’s safekeeping and the practice manager hadn’t asked any questions. Clearly she was expecting it to be a formal resignation from the practice from a courtesy point of view, because her departure had taken place during his absence.
It had been the hardest thing she’d ever had to do, writing to tell him that she’d left because she was carrying their child, and that, loving him as she did, she couldn’t bear the thought of him reluctantly accepting the responsibility of a family that he didn’t want. She’d explained with stark simplicity, every word a knife thrust in her heart.
I’m pregnant. And any delay in the telling is because of our closeness in the apartments and us being employed in the practice. I don’t want to be involved in a scandal.
My wish is to move away from Bluebell Cove, and when our child is born, we can talk about its future. You can have as big a part in its upbringing as you want, except for one thing—this new brother or sister for Marcus will live with me. I know you’ll want to talk this through, Harry, but could we please leave it until after the birth?
Hoping you will understand and not be too angry. Phoebe.
When she’d handed the letter to Janet, she’d felt sick inside, but now it was time for action. Harry had gone and her last day in Bluebell Cove was about to commence.
As she stepped out onto the landing her eyes widened. The gate was finished. Propped up against the wall opposite, it was made out of pale wood and well crafted. Attached to it was a brief note that said, ‘I’ve been in touch with a joiner who will come and fix it in position for you, Phoebe. This is his number. Give him a call when you’re ready, regards, Harry.’
Little did he know that the joiner wouldn’t be required, she thought as the ache inside her increased. The gate was too big to go in the boot of the car but there was a roof rack above that she could tie it to. No way was she going to leave behind Harry’s gift to them.
Then it was off to the nursery for Marcus’s last attendance and another wretched moment as they said goodbye to Beth and her helpers.
Her final visits to her patients followed and it was difficult not to say goodbye to them under the circumstances. But as her departure would not be made public for a little while, it was advisable, just as it would be with the staff at the surgery.
When she arrived at a smart semi-detached house on a busy road in Manchester, where Katie and Rob had taken up residence to be near his father in care just a short distance away, Marcus was asleep, as he had been for most of the journey.
It was almost midnight and Katie came rushing out when she heard the car pull up outside. ‘Phoebe, you look exhausted,’ she said anxiously. ‘You go in and I’ll bring Marcus.’
She nodded and told her wearily, ‘He’s been bathed, fed and is in his pyjamas, so you can pop him straight into bed, Katie, if you would.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘Rob is making hot drinks and we’ve got Eccles cakes for a night-time snack, so come on in.’
‘What are those?’ she asked with a wan smile, ‘A local treat?’
‘You guess right,’ Rob called from the kitchen as they walked down the hallway. ‘They’re all curranty and puff-pastryish, and the place they’re named after is just down the road.’
‘Sounds lovely’, she said gratefully, thankful for these two caring people who were always there for her in times of need, and wondered what Harry was doing at that moment and where he was.
The inquest was in two days’ time and if he’d asked her, she would have gone with him for moral support. But there had been no such request and she’d got the message, just as she had when he’d told her to back off.
Phoebe wept long and silently that first night in Katie and Rob’s house. She loved them both. They were kindness itself, but the feeling that she didn’t belong anywhere was threatening her resolve to make a fresh life for herself, and it was the dawn of another spring day before she drifted off to sleep.
When she awoke, the cot that Katie had found for Marcus was empty, and as she pulled herself up against the pillows it all came back. The long journey, the dreadful playacting of her last day among people she liked and respected, and Harry far away in a foreign land with no inkling of what awaited him on his return to the village. It was a nightmare that she would never want to repeat.
But they were safe with Katie and Rob for the time being. It would be almost a week before Harry returned to Bluebell Cove and by that time she hoped to be feeling calmer. He wouldn’t know where she was and when he’d read her letter he probably wouldn’t want to.
When she went downstairs Katie was giving Marcus his breakfast.
Rob had gone to work and her sister said, ‘I advise complete rest for a few days, Phoebe. I’ll look after Marcus. Don’t even think of finding somewhere to live or looking for a job. You’ve got to think of your baby. Things can so easily go wrong in these early months and you don’t want to lose it, do you?’
‘No, I don’t,’ she said bleakly. ‘Whatever the future holds, I would never want that to happen, so I’ll follow your advice.’
‘I hope this guy realises what he’s missing out on,’ was Katie’s reply to that.
When Harry’s plane touched down in Australia, he was surprised to see his lawyer among those waiting to greet arrivals from the UK. As they shook hands he asked, ‘To what do I owe this honour, Jonas?’
‘To me feeling that you might need some moral support at the inquest, Harry,’ was the reply. ‘They can be depressing occasions, so let’s go and find somewhere to eat and then I’ll drive you to the hotel that I’ve booked you into.’
When they were seated in a restaurant on the concourse, the sun-bronzed, smart-suited lawyer, who looked more like a playboy than a lawyer, said, ‘So how’s it going in the UK? Have you settled back into your familiar surroundings?’
‘Yes and no,’ he replied. ‘It’s great to be home, or at least it would be if all my previous memories of it were good.’ Harry debated with himself how much more to say then decided to open his heart—Jonas was a friend as well as his lawyer, and he desperately wanted to talk about Phoebe anyway. ‘I’ve been dragging my feet with this wonderful woman I’ve fallen in love with.’
‘In what way?’
‘She has a child from a previous marriage, but in spite of that is very much drawn to family life, which I’m not—or haven’t been, I should say. But I adore Phoebe and her little one, and I’m going to do something about it when I get back.’
‘Good for you. Will I get an invite to the wedding?’
‘Yes, if it materialises,’ he promised, and could feel his palms getting moist and his shirt collar too tight at the thought of what he would do if Phoebe didn’t want him, even though he would have deserved it.
The verdict at the inquest had been one of accidental death and Harry had breathed a sigh of relief when it had ended. He’d flown straight home afterwards, two days early due to the brevity of the proceedings, and also because he couldn’t wait to get back to Bluebell Cove. Now he could go forward into the new life that he was planning, with Phoebe and Marcus to show him what real love and caring was all about.
A taxi dropped him off outside the surgery buildings in the quietness of a Sunday morning. He ran up the stairs to the apartments two at a time, noticing as he did so that the gate hadn’t been fixed in place. That was strange, but not so strange that he was prepared for Leo opening the door of Phoebe’s apartment dressed only in boxer shorts.
The Village Nurse's Happy-Ever-After Page 13