It wasn’t the time to mention that I was a fuck of a lot more reckless when I wasn’t in the sky. “Okay. Get dressed. And you’ll need to wear something tight. No loose clothing. If you have any of those bicycle shorts and a tight tank top, that would work best.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll head to the kitchen and whip us up some ovos picantes e salsicha.”
“Mmm…sounds delicious.”
“It is. You’re going to love my sausage.” I winked and left her to it.
MARIA ROSA HAD AN OLD, beat up, open-air Jeep that boarders could use for seventy-five Brazilian Real a day, roughly about twenty bucks. I loved the thing, and Kendall seemed to, as well. She hadn’t stopped smiling since she laid eyes on the hunk of junk. Once, I had rented a Mustang convertible while I was on layover in Barcelona and had planned to spend the day with one of the flight attendants who had been in my bed the night before. She made me put the top up so it wouldn’t mess her hair up. That was the last time I bothered attempting to do anything outside of fucking when I stayed at a hotel. But Kendall, the woman with a T-shirt that costs more than my entire wardrobe, just pulled an elastic band from her bag and tied her hair back without even thinking about the mess the wind may cause. It made her that much more sexy to me.
“How much longer? Are we seeing Christ the Redeemer first?”
We had been slowly driving up a winding mountain road for the last ten minutes, so her guess was a good one. Although she didn’t know it yet, it was more likely she would be praying to Christ to save her ass in a few minutes, rather than snapping pictures of him for Instagram. “We’re almost there. I haven’t decided what we’re going to see first. But we will see the statue at some point.”
She scrunched up her face. “How could you not have decided on our first stop if we’re almost there?”
“Ahh…a riddle. That’s for me to know and you to figure out, my perky friend.”
She rolled her eyes, but I was certain she was having a great time, even though we hadn’t gotten to the fun part yet. When we were a minute or two away from where we would be leaving from, she caught on that I wasn’t wearing tight clothes, yet I had told her she needed to.
“Where are your bicycle shorts?”
“Don’t have any.”
“Don’t you need tight clothes?”
“Nope.”
“How come? You told me I needed them for what we were doing today.”
“I actually didn’t. I told you I needed you to wear tight clothes. But I never mentioned that it was for what we were going to do today.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I just wanted to see you in tight clothes.”
Her eyes flared. But instead of getting mad, she threw her head back in a fit of laughter. “You are such a perv.”
“Do you like pervs?” I asked, sounding like a total perv.
She sighed. “I guess they’re starting to grow on me.”
I parked in a dirt clearing in the middle of a field on the top of a mountain. There were a few cars parked, but she couldn’t see the main attraction because we needed to climb down about 100 stairs to get to the bluff where we would take off from. “We’re here.”
She looked around. “Where’s here? What are we seeing?”
I grabbed a backpack out of the back of the Jeep and jogged around to open her door. Extending my hand, I said. “We’re not seeing anything here. We’re doing.”
Cautiously, she stepped out. “What are we doing, exactly?”
I couldn’t have staged it any better than it happened. Just as she finished her question, a glider soared above the edge of the mountain. It was a tandem glider, just like we’d be doing. I pointed, even though she had already seen it. “That.”
CARTER WAS INSANE. I’d suspected he had a few screws loose, but thinking I was going to fly off the side of a cliff with a few scraps of metal and a flimsy piece of polyester, confirmed he was certifiable.
“I’ll watch you do it.”
We’d been standing alongside the Jeep for the last ten minutes arguing. “You’re one of those, huh?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re a sideliner.”
“Elaborate.”
“You sit on the sidelines and watch your life happen. If you don’t play in the game, you can’t get hurt. Spectators are safe.”
“In this case, I prefer safety to hurtling to my untimely death at twenty-four.”
Carter rubbed the back of his neck and stared at me for a moment. “Every spectator who watches an event is watching it because they want to be the player. But they either don’t have the talent or the balls.”
“Well I certainly don’t know how to fly a hang glider. So in this case, you’re right. I don’t have the talent.”
“You don’t need any talent for this. You fly in tandem, with a trained and experienced glider. No talent necessary. You know what that means?”
“What?”
“That you’re a spectator because you don’t have the balls.”
“I have plenty of balls.” I stood taller.
“Yeah. When was the last time you took a risk?”
“I’d say two days ago when I got on a plane to Brazil at the recommendation of a crazy person I met in a bar.”
“Alright. I’ll give you that one. That did take some balls. But when was the last time you had a real adrenaline rush? The kind that pumps through your veins so powerfully that it makes you think you haven’t really been alive before then?”
I knew the answer to that. When you got in that cab yesterday. Only I didn’t have the balls to say that either. “I don’t remember.”
“It’s an experience you’ll never forget. I promise.”
“You do this often?”
“Hang glide? Not so much anymore. I used to do it all the time though.”
“I didn’t mean hang glide. I meant do things that give you an adrenaline rush?”
“I still get one every time I take off. When I’m barreling that plane down the runway at a hundred and eighty miles an hour and I pull back on the yoke to lift the nose and we break from the ground…it’s like the first time, every time.”
“So you’re a thrill seeker.”
Carter shrugged. “At times. Life without a little thrill is boring, beautiful.”
I really like when he calls me beautiful. I couldn’t believe I was even considering doing this. But he was right. The last few years of my life had been pretty boring. And this trip was supposed to be about finding me. Getting answers. He could tell I was reconsidering.
“Come fly with me.” He held out his hand.
“That’s Frank Sinatra, not the Beatles.”
“I know, but I figured it would be more convincing right now than In Spite of All the Danger.” He smiled, and I actually felt goosebumps break out on my arms when I put my hand in his.
THE REQUIRED PRE-GLIDE training class lasted an hour and a half. My instructor really seemed to know what he was talking about, and it put my mind at ease. Well, as much at ease that was possible when you were about to jump off the side of a mountain. And I do mean jump. It was probably best I had no idea that we literally ran off the side of a mountain to take off when I agreed to this craziness. That crazy run was what I was about to watch when Carter came and sat next to me. He hadn’t needed to do the training class since he’d been here plenty of times.
“Nervous?”
“I’m afraid my legs won’t move when it’s time to run off the platform.”
He smiled and put his hand on my thigh. “They’ll work. You got this.”
I really liked his hand there, so I smiled back. Together, we sat on a patch of grass about ten yards away from two people who were about to take off. When they raced the seven steps and literally ran off the side of a mountain, they disappeared from view immediately. I shot up to look at what had gone wrong. Carter chuckled. “They’ll pop up in a minute. Relax. That’s how it happens.”
>
Thirty seconds later, the two were flying high above our head in the distance. My instructor called over, waving for us to come. “Vêm aqui mulher bonita. Come.”
“You ready?” Carter asked with an unexpectedly serious tone.
I took a deep breath in and out. “Now or never.”
He smiled. “That’s my girl.” And took my hand to walk over to the prep area. In that moment, I realized, with Carter holding my hand and calling me his girl, there wasn’t much I wouldn’t try. The thought was comforting, yet scared the shit out of me at the same time.
Instead of my instructor helping me suit up, Carter did. He helped me step into my harness and checked the connections on my suit by pulling at them a few times. He then suited himself up. “Which one of us is going first?”
Carter’s brow furrowed. “Going first?” We go at the same time?”
“You’re my glide pilot.” I had assumed the instructor that did my training was taking me up in tandem. Couples would be in the air at the same time, but were always with an instructor.
He saluted with two fingers to his forehead. “Captain Carter Clynes, at your service.”
“But…but…are you experienced enough?”
“I’m very experienced.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Seriously. This is my life we’re talking about.”
“And you’re about to put it in my hands. You’re a lucky lady.”
I was near panic. “Carter. Be serious for a minute. You’re trained to fly that thing? You’ve flown it by yourself before?”
He put both his hands on my shoulders and spoke into my eyes. “I would never let anything happen to you.” Then he surprised me by pulling me against his chest for a long hug. After my breathing calmed from being in his arms, he spoke. “You good?”
“I think so.”
He kissed my forehead. “Let’s fly, baby.”
MY LEGS WERE STILL RUNNING, even though there was no longer ground beneath my feet. When we immediately dipped and started to lose altitude, I dug my nails into Carter so deeply, I might have punctured his skin. “Carter!”
“I got you. Hold tight. Here we go.” And just like that, just like the instructor had explained, we picked up a gust of wind and began climbing back up. My heart was beating out of control, and I was holding my breath. My harness was fastened slightly higher than Carter’s, so I was leaning partly on his back and clinging to him while he held the long metal steering bar.
After a few seconds, I took a sharp, very needed breath, and Carter began to circle us around, flying higher and higher above the mountain we had just launched from. My grip around him loosened slightly as we began to soar. Catching small gusts of wind, we glided smoothly through the air.
“Oh my God, Carter. We’re flying! I feel like a bird.”
His entire face smiled at me. “Feels incredible, right?”
“Yes!” It was an indescribable feeling. Looking down at the sparkling turquoise Atlantic, miles of sandy beach shoreline, and the lush green mountains around us was completely breathtaking. I was glad Carter had talked me into it. And I was even more ecstatic that I was experiencing it with Carter.
As we flew around, Carter was whistling. Even though we were right next to each other, it was sometimes difficult to hear because the wind was filling our ears. But after a while, I caught on to the song he was whistling. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
“You sang that song on the flight, over the PA system after you turned down the lights. I almost forgot. Is it your flying song or something?”
“Something like that.”
For more than two hours, we glided around the sky of Rio de Janeiro. I don’t think the huge smile left my face once. We saw everything I wanted to see—Sugar Loaf Mountain, the Christ the Redeemer statue, Tijuca Forest, giant waterfalls, the favelas, beaches, extraordinary landscapes. We didn’t see Rio, we experienced it. I felt like if there was a canvas in front of me, I would be able to bleed the beauty from my veins. It was the most incredible, invigorating experience of my life.
When we had seen everything I wanted to view and more, the wind began to die down, and Carter said it was time to land. We touched down on a beach with only the slightest of bumps. My legs were wobbly when I attempted to move on the sand.
“Careful. You have air legs. Takes a minute or two to get your vertical balance back.” A team of guys from the glide company unhooked us and then made us drinks on the beach.
I was still smiling as I sipped my Caipirinha from a hollowed pineapple. “I’ll admit, I definitely can see how you can get addicted to that feeling. Is that what it feels like every time you’re sitting in the pilot’s seat?”
“It’s different, but still a rush. Today had that adrenaline that it always has. But—” He hesitated and seemed to rethink what he was going to say. “I’m glad you liked it.”
“What were you going to say?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
Carter did that squinting and staring at me thing he seemed to like so much. Then he chugged back the entire contents of his pineapple in one gulp. When he was done, he leaned in. “I was going to say today felt better than it ever has for me. That I fucking loved your arms wrapped around my body the entire time, and the way it felt when your nails dug into my skin and your tits pressed into my back. That seeing your smile, knowing I had something to do with putting it on that beautiful face, was a fuck of a lot better than just raising the tip of a plane or flying a solo glider.”
I swallowed. Our eyes locked, and Carter was searching for something in mine. Then he turned away. “You ready to blow, Amelia Earhart?”
“Excuse me?”
Carter laughed. “Bad choice of words, I suppose. I meant, you ready to hit the road?”
“Oh. Yeah. I’m ready.”
The ride back to Maria Rosa’s was quiet. Carter seemed to be lost in thought, and I was coming down from the high brought on by spending the day flying like a bird. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so free. It had to have been back when I was a teenager, riding horses with Emilio. I quickly shook the thought of that from my mind, focusing instead on the realization that Carter and I only had half a day left in Rio. Tomorrow morning, Carter would be flying off to some other exotic destination, and I couldn’t stop thinking about whether he would be staying at hotel or a place like we were staying tonight. Knowing what staying at a hotel meant, it hurt to even think about it.
And me. I had to go back to reality. My reality. The one I had been dreading for the last two years, and now there were only eight days left before I had to decide which way my life would go. I was on the cusp of a proverbial fork in the road and still wasn’t ready to chose my path. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I would ever be. But that’s the thing. If I didn’t choose by next week…my path would be chosen for me by default. I couldn’t do that anymore. My whole life had been a series of following down paths that someone had set me on. It was time I picked my own path, no matter which it was.
As we drove through the residential neighborhood, Carter must have realized how quiet I’d been. “What are you thinking about over there? You’re somewhere else entirely.”
“Just life. In general, I suppose.”
“Anything you want to share?”
“Not really.”
He nodded. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do after I leave tomorrow? Will you stay at Maria Rosa’s?”
My heart sank. He was really going to be gone tomorrow morning. “No. But I guess I should leave Maria’s. I don’t speak Portuguese or know my way around. Without you there, I’d feel uncomfortable I think.”
Carter’s eyes slanted to mine and then back to the road. “There’s a Westin not too far from the airport. It’s nice, clean, and I’m pretty sure it has a spa. We can share a cab in the morning if you want.”
I nodded.
When we pulled up to Maria Rosa’s, Carter cut the engine then turned to me. “Is there anything you
want to see tonight? Anything you want me to show you before I take off tomorrow?”
“No. I think I’d just like to have some dinner and hang out tonight, if that’s okay?”
“It’s perfect. It’s exactly what I’d like to do, too.”
THE MOOD HAD DEFINITELY shifted from this afternoon. Dinner was good, and although Carter and I talked the entire time, it felt like there was a giant elephant in the room neither of us were mentioning. When we were done, Carter asked if I was up for a walk on the beach.
We both took off our shoes and left them near the boardwalk that led to the sand from the parking lot. I really loved that Carter took my hand as we started to walk.
“Do you know where you’re flying to tomorrow?”
“Dubai. I checked my schedule while you were in the shower before.”
“They don’t tell you until a few days before?”
“No. They plan months ahead of time. I just don’t like to know.”
“You don’t like to know where you’re going?”
He shrugged. “Eventually, I know. I mean, I have to know before I get into the cockpit. I guess there’s just no reason to check in advance.”
“Don’t you ever want to make plans ahead of time when you know you’re going to be in a certain city?”
“Not really.”
“That’s odd, Carter. You know that, right?”
“Never said I was normal.”
We walked for another fifteen minutes, eventually coming across two random chairs set up at the water’s edge. There was no one around. Carter pulled my hand over to them and repositioned the chairs so that they were facing each other.
“They were set up to watch the water.”
“I know. But why would I look at the water when I have you to look at?”
We both sat. At first our feet were right next to each other in the sand. But as we started to talk, Carter rubbed his feet up against mine. The pad of his foot massaged my ankle. It felt good, so I returned the favor. Our feet stayed intertwined as we chatted.
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