My closet was filled with crisply pressed shirts. I grabbed three and folded them into my bag. I’d lost a little weight over the last few months, so I pushed my size extra large jackets to the side and reached farther into the closet to fish out a size large that was stashed in the back.
The hanger I’d grabbed had a smaller jacket on it alright. Only it was about forty sizes too small. In my hand was the little pilot uniform that I’d found in Kendall’s closet when I’d went looking for clues in her bedroom. I’d tucked it under my shirt and taken it with me for some reason that day. After I arrived back home, it made me angry to see it every day, so eventually I pushed it in the back where I couldn’t see it. Yet I never got rid of it.
I stared at the little uniform for a long time. Visions of a little tow-haired boy wearing it as he ran circles around his mother while laughing were clear as day. The boy had bright blue eyes just like his mother. And Kendall looked more beautiful than ever. I actually closed my eyes and smiled watching the scene play out in my head.
That night, I slept like a baby. I dreamt of that little boy and his mother. It was so vivid, so real, that I was confused when I woke up. For a moment I expected them to come running into my bedroom.
But they didn’t.
Which caused a gnawing ache in my chest.
And that was all on me.
As I rushed to get ready for my flight, the little pilot’s suit was still laying on top of my dresser. I rubbed my finger over the little wings on the lapel and remembered the face of the little boy from my dream. Unpinning the little wings from the child’s jacket, I swapped it with the wings on my own uniform. They weren’t that different in appearance, yet they’d made all the difference to me.
I could see my future.
I could see my family.
I could see the woman I loved.
Now I just needed to figure out how to make things right again.
I DECIDED TO QUICKLY check on Gordon before leaving for the airport, since it would be a few days before I would be back home again.
One of the women usually came by his house late in the morning and stayed until a physical therapist showed up, but no one was likely there yet.
Knowing he could be sleeping, I was careful to open the door slowly.
“Dad?” I called out in a low voice.
There was no answer. Gordon was always a heavy snorer, so it was odd that no noise was coming from the bedroom.
He was lying flat on his back, completely still.
“Dad?”
He didn’t respond.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I repeated louder while nudging his shoulder, “Dad, it’s Brucey. Wake up.”
Placing my two fingers against his neck, I checked for a pulse.
There was none.
Lowering my head, I listened for a heartbeat that wasn’t there.
I kept my cheek on his chest and wept. He may have been my fake father, but there was nothing fake about the tears that were falling from my eyes.
A SIMPLE PHONE MESSAGE was about to change everything.
Rolling my suitcase through Logan Airport, I realized I’d missed a call from Carter. The phone must have gone off while I was driving to work with the music turned up.
I listened to the message.
“Hey, Kendall. I’m about to board my flight. I wanted to hear your voice before takeoff, but I guess that’s not gonna be possible. It’s been a very shitty morning. Um…”
There was a long pause.
“Gordon died. I found him in bed. He wasn’t breathing. He must have passed away in his sleep. He was all alone.”
My heart fell.
Oh no.
A long breath escaped him into the phone.
“He died all alone with no one holding his hand. It’s so fucking sad. No one should have to die alone.”
A tear fell down my cheek as the message continued.
“Anyway, it really brought home what matters. I miss you. I’m gonna need to hear your voice tonight to fall asleep. I’m just letting you know.”
There was a bit of silence before he said, “Shit. I have to go. I’ll call you when I land in Rio.”
Standing there frozen in the middle of the terminal, I suddenly felt like a complete fish out of water in this airport. Sweating through my uniform, I knew I couldn’t let this go on.
What was I doing here?
I needed to be with him.
The ball was so far in my court, that it wasn’t even funny. I was the one who’d left; I needed to be the one to bring us back together.
The time apart since reuniting had been good for us, it had given us both time to think, but it was time. There was no way anything could ever work between us if I kept this job. Because of his schedule, it was difficult as it was to have a relationship. Factor in two people working for different airlines, and it was virtually impossible. At this rate, I would never see him. Something had to give.
It was my turn to give.
MARIA ROSA LET ME IN with minimal inquisition. Not that I would have understood her questions anyway. I think she knew full well what I was there for.
I nodded. “Obrigada.” I’d finally learned how to say “thank you” appropriately in Portuguese.
Pedro hopped up on my shoulder, and to my surprise did not urinate on me before he fled again. Perhaps, after three visits, I was finally in with the monkey crowd.
Maria pointed me to the correct room, signaling with her index finger to be quiet since Carter was sleeping. Slowly opening the door, I was met with a sight for sore eyes.
I didn’t know what Carter had been dreaming of, but clearly it was…wet. His cock was rock hard and glistening, sticking up straight in the air. He was completely and gloriously naked. So tired from my trip, I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with him. Stripping off every last thread of clothing, I prowled on my hands and knees onto the mattress.
Carter’s eyes blinked open, and he shuddered before realizing it was me.
“Perky?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my God. I thought I was dreaming.”
“You’re not.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Shh,” I said as I lowered my mouth over his cock. His words trailed off as he lost the ability to speak. Bending his head back, he gave up all control as I went down on him. Holding on to the back of my hair, he guided the movement of my mouth.
I loved listening to the low moans of ecstasy escaping him. At one point, he pulled away and lifted my body onto his.
The bed shook as we went at it. It was fairly early in the morning, and I was sure we were interrupting the other boarders, who were sleeping or having breakfast, but I didn’t care. We needed this. We both came in less than a few minutes. It had been way too long.
Soaked in post coital bliss, I answered his earlier question.
“I got your phone message. I told them it was a family emergency. As soon as I landed in New York, I booked a ticket for the next flight to Rio.”
“You lied for me?”
“No. It wasn’t a lie. You’re the only real family I have now. And I truly needed to see you like my life depended on it. So, that’s an emergency in my book.”
We were still lying naked on top of each other when he asked, “How long can you stay?”
“As long as you need me.”
“Fucking forever then?”
“Okay.”
He pulled back to examine my face. “Okay?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not going back to work?”
“Flying was never for me, Carter. It was just a means to run away while at the same time, somehow in vain connecting with you. It was a good experience, served its purpose, but I need to be able to see you whenever you’re home.”
“What will you do?”
“You.” I laughed. I’ll do you…until you tell me to do something else.”
Running his fingers through my hair, he smiled. “I just hap
pen to have a full-time position open for that.”
“Honestly, I’ll find something—something I love. For now, I just love you. I owe you so much, for coming to find me and for not giving up on me, even though I’d abandoned you. I’ve stopped running. And there’s no better place to stop than where it all started.”
“We have two days here. Then, I’m going back to Florida for Gordon’s funeral.”
“We’re going back to Florida.”
“You’re coming with me?”
“If Silver Shores doesn’t mind one additional underage resident?”
“This is really happening?”
“Yes. If you’ll have me, I’m yours. I want to sing you to sleep in person whenever you’re home.”
“This is truly the happiest day of my life, Perky. I want you to know that.”
Later that afternoon, Carter and I were on the beach sipping Caipirinhas just like we had done during the beginning of our journey. I thought back to how scary of a time that was for me compared to the peace I was experiencing now.
“The last time we were here doing this, I didn’t know who I was. I was just a girl sitting with a hot pilot, sipping drinks on the beach in Rio. I was a confused person, ready to sell her soul and that of her unborn child.”
“And now?”
“Now, I’m just…loved. I don’t want anything else but to be the girl sitting on the beach with the pilot who loves me. Everything I ever needed, I actually had that day. I just didn’t know it yet. And my future children will not only have me but are so lucky that they will have you as a father.”
“You want to have a baby with me, Perky?”
“Someday, yes. But I want to enjoy being with you for a while first.”
He looked at me for a good length of time before he said, “I kept it.”
I tilted my head. “Kept what?”
“The little suit you bought from Carter’s that looked like a pilot’s uniform.”
“How did you know about that?”
“It was hanging in your closet in Texas. When I saw it, that was how I knew.”
“Then, you knew I was going to tell you I wanted to have your baby, that I lied at the airport lounge when I said I’d made my decision to go through with the insemination.”
“That little suit was what I’d held onto for hope all of this time.”
“I was sure when I spotted it at the store with your name that it was a sign.”
“It was. We just had a few detours in the meantime.”
“There are signs everywhere, aren’t there?”
The sound of a small plane could be heard overhead.
Carter pointed up to it. “There’s one right now.”
We both looked up at the sky in unison. A banner with a message was trailing the small aircraft.
Carter huffed, “Fuck! Assholes ruined it. The banner was supposed to say, The Answer is in the Sky: Kendall loves Carter. I knew that guy didn’t understand me!”
Instead it read: The Answer is in Disguise: Ken Doll Loves Farting.
CARTER AND I WERE BACK at Silver Shores following Gordon’s memorial service. It was a rainy day, fitting for the task at hand. We were cleaning out his apartment, choosing which items to donate and which Carter would keep.
“There’s no way I’m throwing out these pictures of him and his son. I’ll keep them with me for as long as I live. It’s the least I could do for him.”
Gordon had no family that we knew of, so if Carter hadn’t kept this stuff, all of the keepsakes would have likely been destroyed.
As I was cleaning out the bedroom closet, I laughed when I spotted the pair of pants that Carter had borrowed the night of our missing clothing mishap by the lake.
“Remember these, Captain?”
“How could I forget? That reminds me, did you happen to notice that old man George showed up at the funeral in one of my uniforms? I just can’t figure out how he gets into my place and steals my shit. Turns out, he’s been swindling all these ladies, telling them he used to be an airline pilot. He gets them tailored to fit and everything. He’s lucky I don’t blow his cover.”
“Let him have his fun. He’s an innocent old hornball.”
Just then a knock on the door interrupted our laughter.
When I opened it, a man in a gray suit was standing there, holding a folder.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes, I’m looking for Carter Clynes.”
Carter put down the box he’d been sifting through. “That’s me. How can I help you?”
“Gary Steinberg. I’m Gordon Reitman’s attorney.”
“Attorney? He had an attorney? He didn’t even have a cell phone.”
“Yes. I’ve been with Gordy for years.”
“How can I help you?”
“He instructed me to give you this note upon his passing. Perhaps, you should read it first, and then we can go over his will.”
“Will?”
“Yes. Mr. Reitman had a significant amount of money. He left you as the sole beneficiary.”
“No, you don’t understand. He had lost his mind some years back. He thought I was his son. He meant to leave everything to Brucey. I can’t in good faith take anything from him, knowing he intended for it to go to his son.”
“You are Carter Clynes?”
“Yes.”
“He specifically named you, not Bruce Reitman.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Maybe the letter will explain.”
The lawyer gave him the small white envelope. Carter opened it and carefully unfolded the paper inside. After he read it, he looked stunned. Then, he handed it to me.
I know.
Thank you for letting me pretend it was true.
I could never repay you, but I’m going to try.
Sincerely,
Gordon C. Reitman, III
Wow.
Just wow.
Carter shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t get it. All this time he knew I wasn’t his son?”
The attorney nodded. “Apparently so.”
Kneeling down to where Carter was sitting, I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Oh my God.”
The attorney continued, “As I mentioned, Mr. Reitman accumulated a considerable amount of assets over his lifetime. With no immediate family, he has named you the sole heir to his estate, which is valued at over twenty million dollars.”
I felt like I was going to collapse.
What did he just say?
Carter’s eyes bugged out. “Excuse me?”
“Gordon had invested considerably in real estate when he was younger and sold off his properties gradually over the past fifteen years. He had quite a bit of money put away as a result. Nevertheless, he chose to live modestly.”
Carter’s jaw dropped. “Wha…when did he put my name on there?”
“About a year ago, he came to me and changed the beneficiary. He’d previously left everything to a nephew by default. I specifically remember him pointing out that, in his words, the ‘no good son-of-a-bitch’ never paid him any visits. He knew that you were completely unaware of his wealth. Because he was sure you were helping him out of the goodness of your heart, he wanted to do this for you.”
“What does this mean?”
“It means that twenty million dollars will be put into your name very soon. We’ll set up another meeting at my office to make sure that all of the funds from the various accounts are transferred over properly.”
I just stood there speechless.
Carter looked at me then over at the attorney. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t feel like I deserve this.”
“Well, whether you deserve it or not is irrelevant, Mr. Clynes. The money is yours.”
IT TOOK A FEW MONTHS before it really sunk in.
Carter ended up donating some of the money to charity and setting up a scholarship in Bruce Reitman’s name. There was certainly a lot left over, enough to keep us set for life. We didn’t feel guilt
y about keeping the rest of the money, since it was what Gordon intended.
The irony wasn’t lost on us, that once we’d stopped thinking about money and stopped letting it impact our lives, we ended up running into more than we knew what to do with.
Carter continued to work as a pilot for now while I moved into his Florida condo permanently. He said he’d know when the time was right to quit. It was a good feeling for him to not have to work, though, but to only fly because he enjoyed it. It wasn’t until he was given the choice to quit that Carter realized he did truly love being a pilot. There would come a time when kids entered the picture, when he would likely cut down or quit. We would deal with that when it came.
As for me, I was giving the old ladies here at Silver Shores a run for their money. I’d notified Carter’s Angels (as I’d dubbed them) that they could scale back on the meals for my man. It actually gave me immense pleasure to learn to cook the things he loved.
Florida was my home now. Even Matilda the cat had given up her determination to scare me away once she realized I was there to stay.
Feeling eternally grateful for the comfortable life Carter had afforded me, I’d also discovered a way to give back. My grandmother used to always say if you want to change the world or make a difference, you don’t have to travel very far. Just look in your own backyard for the people who need you.
Carter was the best example of that. One day, I’d been thinking back to what he used to do for Gordon, and it hit me that there were many basic things that elderly people could no longer do for themselves. Things we take for granted, like the ability to bend over and cut one’s toenails, were impossible tasks for them.
After taking a short cosmetology course, I began offering my services around the Silver Shores community for free. Travelling a few hours a day from condo to condo, I would schedule appointments to give some of the women pedicures and manicures. I would give them my time, and in return, they told me stories and dished out great advice. Some of the women became like mother figures to me. Estranged from my own mother, I appreciated that more than they knew.
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