I glared at him. “So we hang out. We click. But I click with Kyle too.”
“Not like you’ve been clickin’ with Tristan.” Silas winked.
“Shut up.” I threw a balled up napkin at him. “We click. A lot. But we click with a lot of people, right? It doesn't mean you leave the one person you’ve always loved over a summer… click.” I emphasized the last word.
“I see you clickin’,” Silas put air quotes around the word, “a whole lot more with Tristan than I’ve ever seen you click with Kyle.”
“Me too,” Drew chimed in as she took another drink. I rolled my eyes at both of them.
“What about you? You seem to be doin’ a lot of clickin’ with a lot of somebodies.” I shot him a glare.
“You have to choose one,” Silas said, completely ignoring my attempt at redirection.
I only stared at him then averted my eyes a moment later as I took another drink. I knew I had to choose one; I had a decision to make, but so far I wasn’t convinced that Mr. Promiscuous was worth walking away from the only person I’d ever loved.
“You said yourself he’s a manwhore. All this clickin’ is all it is,” I said to Drew, but I wasn’t sure I believed my own words.
“Okay, enough with the clickin’ already,” Silas said.
“Fine, he flirts… we flirt. He’s a slut. Aren't you the one that told me I should hook up with him this summer?”
“Yeah, but I told you not to get attached, and you are so attached, Georgia.”
“No, I'm not.”
“Oh, please.” She rolled her eyes. She didn’t know the half of it. She had no idea Tristan and I had slept together. I dreaded what they would say if they knew the full story. The truth was, I wasn’t convinced Tristan and I hadn’t been a one-night stand, despite what he said. It still meant I’d cheated on Kyle, but I didn’t want to throw everything I had with Kyle away, tear his heart out, rip mine to pieces, over a drunken indiscretion.
“I hate this,” I whispered.
“I know, love.” Silas scooted his chair closer to mine and wrapped me in a tight embrace.
“I wish I’d never met Tristan.” A tear leaked down my cheek as the guilt tightened my heart. “I wish Kyle and I could just be like we were.”
“But then you wouldn’t have known,” Drew said softly.
“Known what? That I’m an inconsiderate bitch who leads two men on?” More tears escaped from my eyes.
“That you and Kyle weren’t working. We’ve been trying to tell you that, but it took Tristan to make you see it.” Drew reached across the table and held my hand tightly.
“But I want Kyle and I to work. We’ve always worked.”
“But what if you work better with someone else?” Silas asked.
“Like who? Tristan? The guy who sleeps with half the county―your words exactly.” I glanced at Drew.
“Maybe, maybe not. But someone.” Drew’s eyes swam with concern.
“I can’t talk about it anymore. More alcohol.” I tipped my glass toward Silas.
“You got it, love.” He grinned before taking my glass for a refill.
After we'd drunk our way through a few more rounds, Silas disappeared to his room phone in hand, avidly texting with a grin. Gavin and Tristan had returned from wherever Drew had hustled them off to and joined us in a last round of drinks. I was curled up under an afghan and nearly passed out on the couch. Gavin and Drew had left for a beach walk, and Tristan sat in the chair opposite, sipping the last of his drink and watching me. I could feel his eyes but I refused to meet them. I couldn't talk to him right now, not about anything serious. My talk with Silas and Drew was still rolling around in my brain. I knew I had to choose, but at this point I couldn’t choose anyone but Kyle. He was my everything and had been for most of my life. What Tristan and I had was fun and sweet, but nothing more.
The waves on the beach echoed through the stillness as the breeze blew in the windows, twisting the curtains and accentuating the silence that stretched between us.
Tristan finally stood and I chanced a glance at his shadowed form walking into the kitchen. He set his glass in the sink then turned back to me. Our eyes locked for a moment before he spoke.
“I’m going to head to bed,” he murmured.
“Okay,” I answered and curled up tighter in the blanket.
“You’re not sleeping there are you?” He nodded to the couch.
“I can't sleep in my room. The paint fumes.” Silas was staying home tonight, so I’d moved to the couch.
“Sleep in my room, Georgia. I know after the flowers and whatever…we don’t have to…I can sleep here,” he rambled before motioning again to the couch.
“I’m not running you out of your room.” I tucked my head further into the pillow. The high from the drinks had worn off, and Silas and Drew’s lecture hadn’t much helped. I just wanted to curl up and fall asleep and hopefully forget about the painful decision that lay ahead of me.
“You can't sleep on the couch, Georgia.” He stepped toward me. “I insist. Come on. Don’t make this weirder than it has to be.” He held a hand out to me. My eyes shot up to meet his and I could see the determined set of his jaw. I rolled my eyes and took his hand, standing up and curling the blanket around me as we walked down the hall to his bedroom.
“I’ll just change and be out of your hair.” He grabbed a pair of sleep shorts and walked into the en suite bathroom. Returning a few minutes later, he found me curled up on the bed before he sighed and walked toward the door.
“Tristan?” I called timidly.
“Yeah?” He stopped at the door and turned to me.
“You don't have to go.” I scooted over on the bed.
“It's okay. You’ve got a lot going on, Georgia. I’m not here to complicate it.”
“It won’t. I just feel bad for you sleeping on the couch.”
“Wouldn't be the first time.” He shrugged.
“Come on, I won't bite.” A smirk tipped my lips as I lifted the blanket up.
“I don't want… things are so―”
“Just sleeping, Tristan,” I interjected.
“Okay,” he walked back to the bed and slipped under the comforter. I tucked my head into the pillow as Tristan lay stiffly beside me.
“Didn't know you were so square.” I turned toward him. He lifted an eyebrow at me before he stretched his arm out and I tucked into it.
He laid his palm on the back of my head and stroked my hair before tucking his nose in and inhaling. The notion of him taking in my scent, seeking comfort from it, left a warm feeling in my stomach.
“I don't want to make things harder for you, Georgia.” His lips moved against my hair.
“You’re not. I like us,” I said before stretching an arm over his stomach and holding him tightly.
“What is us?” he murmured.
“Friends,” I answered instantly.
“Who kiss?” he said faintly. I frowned without responding. “And sleep together?” he murmured.
“We’re just sleeping,” I said quietly.
“If that's what you want to think.”
I heard him but I was too drowsy to respond. Tristan's fingers continued to stroke through the strands of my hair as I drifted off to sleep surrounded by his ocean-fresh scent that was fast becoming comforting.
“Georgia,” a deep voice whispered. My neck was damp with sweat and I kicked off the twisted covers. My hand ran across a hard shape next to me and I inhaled a familiar, clean scent.
“It's okay,” Tristan reassured as he stroked my back.
My heart was pounding in my chest. “Did I… did I say anything?” I managed through quick pants.
“I couldn’t tell what you were saying. You sounded terrified. You’re crying, Georgia.” He swiped tears away with the pad of his thumb then pulled the hair off my neck and swiped the damp locks off my forehead. “Is it the same dream you always have?” he asked. The bright moonlight reflected off his searing green eyes as he watc
hed me closely.
“Yes.” I shut my eyes tightly and took a deep, cleansing breath.
“I’ll get you some water.” He hopped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, and returned a minute later with a cup in his hands. I took long swallows as the cool liquid washed away the ache in my chest and calmed my nerves. He set the cup on the nightstand and lay down in the bed beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me tightly to him. I pressed my face into his chest and tried to take deep breaths.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” I answered quickly.
“I’m here if you want to.”
“I know.”
“Have you ever talked to anyone about it?” he asked hesitantly.
“About a dream? No,” I said in a clipped tone. He continued to run his hand down my hair; the motion was comforting and I was thankful I had woken up next to someone after that dream.
“This seems worse than before,” he said, referring to the last time I’d woken from a bad dream and found him on the porch swing. This had been worse, so much worse.
“It wasn’t,” I lied. “Can we go back to sleep?”
“Okay,” rubbing circles on my back.
The sun peeked through the curtains what felt like hours later, but could have been minutes. We both stretched and yawned and pretended we were just waking up from sleep, but the dark circles under our eyes confirmed that neither of us had slept well after my nightmare.
Eighteen
Georgia
AFTER TRISTAN AND I had silently gotten out of bed, he made coffee, I took a shower, then we met on the deck as usual. Except this morning coffee was quieter than normal. The dream was on my mind. Tristan had been right, it was more intense than they’ve been and I had a feeling it was because I was so chewed up about making a decision. But after lying next to Tristan all night, I’d made up my mind. Still reeling from the nightmare, lying in Tristan’s arms while he comforted me, my decision had been made.
Gavin and Tristan had locked themselves in the spare bedroom where they'd set up their office for the summer. They were both on the phone off and on, and I heard keyboards clicking away. Silas and Drew crawled out of bed later and I sent them into town to pick up more paint to finish the deck. Once they cleared out and I was sure the guys were immersed in work, I scrolled to that familiar name in my contact list.
Seeing Kyle's face come up had my tummy twisting uncomfortably.
By the time I’d hung up with him more than an hour later, my stomach had settled. I knew I’d made the right decision. The nightmare last night had been the catalyst. It’d told me all I needed to know; who I should be with and who I shouldn't.
There wasn't really another decision that I could make. I had to follow my heart, and my heart was fully and completely devoted to Kyle and our future together. The nightmares had been getting worse, so much worse―two in the short time since Tristan and I had slept together. Two vivid, terrifying dreams that left my heart pounding, fear and adrenaline rushing through my system. I knew my subconscious was trying to tell me something―it was telling me that the path I was on was the wrong one. My nights were peaceful when I was with Kyle, but the nights when I’d been wrapped in Tristan’s arms the nightmares had been nearly unbearable.
I knew Tristan would be upset, but thankfully things hadn't gone too far before they'd ended. We'd had one night, but it was just that―one night. We'd been drunk, I’d missed Kyle, and I’d made a bad decision. I didn't look forward to telling Tristan, but he would move on. There was no doubt in my mind that it wouldn’t be long before he had someone else warming his bed.
I smiled contentedly at the memory of Kyle’s words in my ear. The reassurances that once we got through this summer, once we were back in the same city, things would be better. The soothing timbre of Kyle’s voice sent warm tingles coursing through my body, reminding me of summer nights lying in the grass looking at the stars and talking about our future.
“Hey, G.” Drew wandered out on the deck with a glass of sweet tea.
“Hey,” I said brightly. My shoulders felt so much lighter for the decision I’d just made. Kyle was my home. He knew me―my history. He'd been my everything for as long as I could remember. He'd pulled me through in hard times and never turned his back. Just because he was working a lot of hours didn't mean I could turn my back on him―on us. He was working hard to build our future. I knew that. I couldn't let my loneliness get the best of me. No more drinking around Tristan, I vowed to myself. He was hot every day, but when I was drunk, he became irresistible.
“Who was on the phone?” She threw herself into the chair next to me.
“Kyle.” I sighed happily.
“Really?” She arched an eyebrow.
“Really.”
“You seem pretty happy to have just gotten off the phone with that douche―I mean Kyle.” She smiled with fake sweetness.
“Kyle’s my boyfriend, so play nice.”
“So you chose?” Drew asked with concern.
“You don't approve?” I glared at her.
“I didn't say that. I just hope you’re making the right decision,” she said before taking a sip of her tea.
“I am. Kyle is it for me. I know that now more than ever,” I said with a tender smile.
“You and Kyle are back together?”
I winced when I heard his voice. “We were never really apart…,” I muttered. Tristan stood with two glasses of sweet tea in his hands. I could see his jaw tighten as a range of emotion flashed across his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Tristan. I didn't want you to find out like this, but after last night―”
“Did you tell him?”
“What?” My eyes bore into his, pleading with him to not do this here, in front of Drew.
“About us? What happened on the beach―”
“No,” I cut him off. “But I will.”
“You think he’ll be forgiving then?” His green eyes blazed into me. They cut straight into my stomach like a blade.
“I…I don’t know. I just couldn’t tell him over the phone,” I whispered, the look on his face stealing the air from my lungs. Tristan was hurt because I chose Kyle.
“I hope you'll be happy, Georgia. Here,” he shoved the sweet tea at me then turned and stalked into the house. I watched him leaving and my heart clenched at the pain that I’d seen etched across his face.
“What happened last night?” Drew asked.
“We slept together,” I said, still watching the door he'd disappeared into.
“You what?” Drew's voice rose.
“Not like that.” At least not last night I thought to myself. “Because the paint fumes in my room, I just slept in his bed,” I trailed off and then shut my eyes. I had so royally fucked this summer up. I’d hurt two men that cared for me, trampled over their feelings because I couldn’t let either go. “I didn't think he would be so upset,” I mumbled.
“I knew he would. He wanted you to choose him.”
“I didn't think―we were just hanging out. Friends. I thought that was it.” I turned to her.
“Not to him. You didn't see the way he looked at you? His eyes light up when he’s with you. He watches you when you’re not paying attention. It's adorable. Or sickening. I’m not sure which really. I feel bad for him.” Drew took another drink.
“What? He's a manwhore, Drew. I’m sorry if I hurt him, but I’m sure I was nothing more than a fling, it's a long summer, he'll get over me just fine. Trust me.”
“Are you sure you trust yourself?” Drew asked.
“Of course,” I scoffed before standing and marching back into the house and into my bedroom.
Kyle said he would be down for the Fourth of July weekend, only a few weeks away. It felt like a lifetime, I was so anxious to see him. I knew I’d have to tell him then what had happened between Tristan and me. Kyle and I had always been honest with each other and I knew I at least owed him the truth.
I set my tea on th
e nightstand and my eyes settled on The Legend of Tristan and Isolde. The memories of reading on the beach flooded my brain. I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. I’d hoped our friendship could remain intact after the brief fling we'd had, but now I knew that was too much to hope for.
I glanced back at the paperback with the lovelorn couple on the cover. A couple tortured and broken by their love. I frowned and dropped the book into my duffel bag and then shoved it under my bed.
* * *
“HEY, GEORGIA. BEEN a few days.” Tristan's lopsided grin greeted me as I stepped into the balmy morning.
“Hey.” I forced a smile. “I was just checking the temp, I’ll leave you―”
“No, join me,” he said as he patted the chair next to him. I clenched my teeth together as I made my way closer. He'd been avoiding me since the awkward confrontation on the porch.
“I’m sorry, Tristan. I really didn’t want you to find out like that. Kyle’s just always been my person, and what we had was nice, but I can’t just leave him. I love him and I just want you to know, you can move on. I mean, I won’t be upset. I don’t expect you to not date anyone the rest of the summer just because you’re staying here.” I knew I was rambling but the situation had been so awkward between us, all of my thoughts had escaped in a rush.
“Not a problem, Georgia. We were just a fling. It’s cool. Happens all the time.” He grinned that heart-stopping, lopsided grin before taking another sip of his coffee. My heart clenched at his words. I’d suspected that we'd just been a fling, even said it out loud to Drew, but hearing the words from his mouth hurt. It was confirmation that I’d been one in a long line of one-night stands for him.
“Okay,” I murmured.
“Any plans for Fourth of July?” he asked.
“Um, Kyle's coming down, but otherwise, no,” I said before turning my gaze to the grey-blue water lapping the shoreline.
“Mind if I invite a few people over? We’ve got prime viewing location for the fireworks.”
“Uh, sure.” I wasn't expecting that. “People from Jacksonville…or…?”
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