"I am not asking for anything from you," she said, in her consistent simplicity of conversation. "If you want something from me, then ask me for it. If you do not, that is okay too."
He could now appreciate their age differences. She saw things so differently to how he did.
"There are two kinds of wants," he said, lifting one hand and gently touching her cheek. "We can want physically … that want, you are bringing out in me greatly … as I am sure you can feel," he continued and saw her blush softly, making her even more endearing. "But there is also the want for things that are right, and not wrong…"
Alexis sat quietly, letting him work through things in his mind.
"That want, I have to let get right in my mind. I am attracted to you, and I know that I am physically wanting of you … but I am married, and I am so much older than you, and I am not an unknown figure out there in the world," he said, raising his other hand to wave, as if pointing to the world outside of her home.
"Do you want to have sex with me?" she asked, and he groaned heavily before standing up, turning around, with her still in his arms, and setting her down on the sofa.
"Would I like to? Perhaps later - much later - but not tonight. And before you ask if I will tell you to, no, Lexi, I won't do that," Lincoln said, trying without success to will his arousal to go away. "Not unless you and I get to know each other much, much better … over time."
He knelt on the floor before her.
"Part your legs," he said and she did. She was wearing jeans so he felt safe asking for that. He put his hands on her knees, gently, and slowly and lightly ran his hands up and down over her thighs. Even the texture of the denim of her jeans … when had he even last touched denim? He seemed to live in suits these days - suits and running gear. And his wife would never been seen in anything she considered so common as jeans.
Alexis watched his face and could see the level of desire on it. But she waited, not wanting to push him into anything.
Lincoln leaned in and put his arms around her, pulling her to him again as she was perched on the edge of the sofa. They stayed like that, cheek to cheek, for a few minutes, before he recognised what was missing from that position.
"Put your arms around me," he said and felt her arms come up and circle around his neck.
Already he had come to see that her way was to wait for commands - requests - instructions - but he didn't ask for her to kiss him now. Pulling his head back far enough so that he could look at her face, he wanted to indulge in kissing her - to see how she reacted to not being commanded.
Alexis saw his lips moving forward toward hers, and she let it happen. It wasn't that she couldn't enjoy things happening as a man made it happen - his lips moving onto hers, and the way he was kissing her, was welcome. She had to find a way to find a compromise between the needing to be told what he wanted from her, but also letting him feel relaxed enough to do what he wanted also.
Lincoln kissed her lips over and over. The taste of her - the fullness of those lips - and her enthusiasm with her tongue. It was driving him crazy, he knew - he was straining in his hardness, and he knew she could feel it as he naturally rubbed against her as he was nestled between her legs.
When he heard her groan, he almost lost control. It was the first indication that had come from her that she was being as turned on by him, as he was by her. And the groan was followed by her kissing him in a way that was almost aggressive. This wasn't just her kissing him because he asked her to - now she was kissing him on another level - kissing as was natural to her when she was rising in arousal as well.
Alexis forgot where she was - who she was. His style of kissing was nothing like she had experienced before. This was not like the boys she had been with - he was kissing her in a way that made her think this wasn't a case of him simply wanting to have sex with someone and she was just there. To her it felt like he really wanted to kiss her. And it fuelled her greatly, to the point where she forgot everything else and just let herself indulge in it, without any care for control or permission. His lips … his tongue…
They continued like that for some time, until Lincoln had to break away from her. He had to - he was suffocating in her arms and her lips. He wanted more of her - so much more - but he could not take it. He could not give it.
He stood up abruptly, and on looking down at her knew he had left her hanging, with a confused look on her face. He was frustrated - not at her, but rather of the situation. It was so right - and so wrong at the same time.
"Stand up," he said, more forcefully than he meant, but she complied. When she was in front of him he kissed once more, softly now, determined to get himself under control. "I need to go, Lexi. Whatever this is, it is very powerful and I need to … go … now."
Alexis just nodded, seeing clearly the confusion and conflict in him. She followed him to the door, where he just turned and looked at her, before giving her a kiss on her forehead and then walking out.
~~~~~
When Lincoln got home that night it was late. He had stopped at his office and had a shower there so he could try and find some way to look normal before he went home to Diana. He even sat down and did half an hour of work, because he knew there was a chance that she would ask him when he walked in how his work was, and he didn't want to lie to her. So he worked - so he could talk about his work … all the while leaving out details of everything else he had been doing that evening.
She was on his mind, of course - she had made him feel like she had woken him from a dream. Her mouth and her eyes - he had purposely not looked at her body, as he didn't want to venture there in case … he didn't want to think the words but they were there, in his head … in case he didn't see her again.
But he was a business professional and he had to find a way to not let her consume his thoughts. Not seeing her was not an option to him - he had only been alone with her twice but already he knew that he had to see her again. If she wanted him to. He would never pressure anyone into anything, unless it was a major business decision. He had no desire to pressure a woman into doing anything she did not want to do. Which brought him back to the thought that she enjoyed being told what to do - she wanted to please, to be told what was required of her. He wasn't sure how healthy that was - or would be, if he kept seeing her.
When he let himself into their apartment, he quietly slipped into bed and instantly felt Diana's hands on him. He had just talked himself down from being aroused, but let himself be coaxed, indulging in letting go of what he had been holding in since seeing Lexi. As he slid into Diana - as he always did - the only way she liked sex - with him simply moving on top of her and into her - he found himself wondering how it would feel to slip inside Lexi … and immediately he climaxed, finding great relief in the well-overdue release.
As a man he didn't self-pleasure at all - hadn't since he was a teenager - and took pride in being in control of all of bodily needs, including good nutrition, fitness … and not wasting time in any day by touching himself. But as he relaxed on top of his wife, he found himself wondering if he might not be more honest if he started to … anything to get rid of the need that Lexi had already invoked in him, even though he had only visited her two times.
Diana reached up with her hands and pulled his mouth to hers - it was a belated kiss that followed release, so there was no desire in it. It was as if it were just a token of appreciation on her part. It was calculated and it was old, but she was his wife and he had committed to her … and he did love her.
So he kissed her back … before rolling off her, turning over and going to sleep, thinking about another woman entirely.
~~~~~
After two more weeks had passed, Lincoln was almost gone completely from Lexi's mind, having been put into the 'oh well, that was fun for the moment it lasted' bin in her memory. Men came and went - that was a fact of life and she didn't really expect anything different.
But then one evening there was a knock on her door and on opening the door she wa
s surprised to see him there. He looked flushed, like he wasn't sure he would be welcome, but she invited him in, curious to see what he would say - if anything.
Lincoln looked at her, feeling all of a sudden like this was a bad idea. He had tried so hard to keep her off his mind, determined to move on and put their two small intimate moments aside and forget them.
But he just couldn't do it quite so easily - and that frustrated him. He worked hard and took pride in putting things in his life in order, and thoughts of her were so … messy.
He had fantasised about her, especially directly after making love to Diana. Sex with his wife had always been mechanical and limited - she really did only like to feel him move immediately into her, and then remove himself when he was finished. She didn't want to pleasure him in any other way, and he had long ago given up trying to pleasure her at all. So there were aspects of sex that he had tried as a teenager, before he had met her, that he still thought about on occasion, and now the thought of being with someone new brought those memories back to him. He didn't believe that no woman liked a man's attentions there, as was the case with his wife.
Now, standing in the small living room with Lexi, he wasn't sure what to say - or do. But she had opened a door for him, and he so much wanted to walk through it.
"What do you need from me, Lincoln?" she asked, using his name for the first time, and it affected him. All day long, almost every day, he was 'Mr Kokiri', but he didn't want to be that person, not here, not with her.
Alexis saw his confusion and conflict once again - she was used to it now, even after only their last two meetings here in her home. It was like he had a puzzle that he just could not solve. A challenge he wanted to face, but yet did not know how to.
She moved to him and they stood together in the lounge area, in front of the sofa. He seemed frozen on the spot so she reached out and just used the tips of her fingertips to touch his arms. Tonight he had on a short sleeved v-neck t-shirt, and she was able to feel the hairs on his arms stand up, with just a slight amount of goose bumps appear. She stroked his arms like that as he looked into her eyes … for what seemed like a very long time.
Lincoln felt the light touch and ached inside. He had been married for 17 years and still had sex with his wife - sometimes several times a week - but it had been much longer than that since anyone had actually touched him.
He let the feelings - such simple but greatly missed and long needed feelings - flow over him before he used one hand to take one of hers and bring it to his mouth, to kiss. He kept his eyes on hers, and saw her look at his lips as he kissed her hand.
"I can't stop thinking about you, Lexi," he said, so very quietly. "Come and sit down with me."
Alexis heard the request and instantly sat on the sofa, close to him. He took her hand in his and they faced each other, and she waited patiently for him to find the strength to say whatever he wished to say.
"What do you want from me, Lexi? That is something that I need to know, before…" he started to say and then couldn't find the words for what he wanted to say - couldn't find what it was that he wanted to say.
"Before you have sex with me?" she asked, always so frank and never sugar coating anything. It sounded raw to him - but at the same time he did like her straight to the point approach when she spoke, and when she asked questions. When she saw he would not answer, she answered his question. "What I want from you, is for you to tell me what you want from me."
The answer confounded him both with its vagueness, and with its brilliance, in the way she had turned it around to somehow have been directed back on him once again.
"Lexi, do you understand that I could only see you irregularly?" he asked and she nodded. "I would never be able to be seen with you in public - I have a wife," he continued, and she nodded once again.
"I know. To see you, I would have to be a secret."
When he heard that, his heart felt like it would break. But she was absolutely right in her statement, and he had no wish to mislead her. She was someone who seemed to prefer honesty - raw and plain without deception - so he would continue to be that with her. It would be disrespectful not to do so.
"Yes. I won't pretend things could ever be any different."
"Okay," Alexis replied, as if it really weren't any great deal to her.
"Okay?"
"Yes, we are in agreement that if you come to see me, you will do so when you can and it might not be often. And I will not tell anyone about us," she said and paused, kissing his hand. "I will not expect anything from you. And you will come and see me on any night that suits you, but only between 6pm and 8pm, because that is my condition."
Lincoln nodded slowly, feeling like something was completely on offer now. It was a moment he had to think about, and yet at the same time he knew he didn't need to think about it at all. He had been fantasising about her too much already.
"Are you a virgin, Lexi?" he asked directly and she shook her head.
"No."
He was suddenly aroused again and full of desire for things his wife would not let him do - nothing that he considered 'odd', but just normal things that other couples did, that he had missed so much.
He pulled her close and kissed her, and kissed her again and again until she was moaning loudly, her arousal completely audible and apparent to him. He wanted to undress her - but his knowledge that she wanted him to tell her what he wanted finally kicked in as being acceptable.
"Stand up," he said and watched as she did so, turning to face him as he sat back on the sofa. "Take off your clothes," he continued, feeling like he was indulging in something sinful, and half expecting her to slap him out of rudeness.
Instead he saw her pull off her sweatshirt, and her t-shirt, keeping her eyes on his, and he saw her bra and how it was filled out. She was tiny in stature and until now he had not realised how shapely she was in her chest. He let out a deep breath. She continued.
He saw her then undo her jeans and push them down, taking off her socks at the same time, until she was before him in her bra and panties - nothing pretty or frilly - only items that didn't match and would be bought in a plain 5-pack from a low budget department store. But to him she looked incredible, and as he was reclining backward, looking at her, he could see in his view the bulge showing in his pants. And he didn't care.
She went to put her hands behind her, as if to undo her bra, but he didn't want to rush to that yet.
"Stop. Don't take any more off yet. Just let me look at you for a moment, like this."
Alexis stood there, waiting for him to say what he wanted next, but then saw him stand up next to her. He put his hands up to either side of her face and kissed her softly, not daring to touch her in any other way in case he lost control. And he was aware that he didn't want to go home with any sign or smell of her on his clothes…
"Undress me," he said, tentatively, because it was something no-one had ever done to him. Never.
He watched her as she worked through her assigned task. He felt her hands push his t-shirt up and over his head, revealing his chest directly. Then she was undoing his pants - belt, button, zip - and he felt his cock stretching out toward her, as if it in itself was desperate for her attention. She pushed his pants down to the ground, and he sat on the edge of the sofa so she could remove them completely, along with his socks. He was now just in boxers, which hid nothing.
Alexis looked at him for a moment, observing his chest, which had only a small amount of hair stretching across the area between his nipples, but other than that was smooth and very toned. And his legs were toned also, making her instantly recognise that he must be very sporty.
Lincoln watched her eyes and felt, for the first time in a very long time, like someone was really seeing him, with no ulterior motive behind their attention to him. She wasn't seeing his business power … she wasn't seeing his wealth … she was just seeing him.
Alexis knelt before him and placed her hands on the waistband of his boxers, but he held t
hem there, not ready to be completely naked yet.
"Climb onto me and kiss me," he said and watched as the young body, in its plain and mismatched bra and panties, straddled him, inadvertently rubbing her body against the length of him, and through the two thicknesses of fabric, he could feel wetness. That was something he never experienced with his wife - because Diana would never let him pleasure her, he never felt any moisture on her, even when he slid into her. For Diana, it was like she didn't want to be aroused and moist when they joined.
Alexis found herself starting to be very excited. She was doing what he wanted but she was also feeling things she had not felt before with anyone else. She moved up and down lightly, enjoying the feeling of rubbing herself against the hardness of him, and then leaned in to kiss him. His arms came around her and held her tight as they indulged in kissing again. They both felt the fire of their closeness, and were soon breathless.
"Oh Lexi, what you do to me! Please … remove your bra for me," he said, now eager to see her, and when she took it off, he knew he was almost at breaking point. Much more of this and he would be making a mess, even without joining with her. He didn't want to wait for her to do any more then, and instead pulled her close so he could kiss her breasts. It was like experimentation with him, having not been allowed to indulge in such pleasure for so many years. He sucked on the nipples, and hearing her suck in her breath and groan deeply, continued to do that, one then the other, and then back again. His hands were on her buttocks and she was moving her pelvis slightly, causing a rubbing sensation on him, which was almost unbearable.
"Stand up," Alexis heard him say, his voice now husky and almost inaudible, and she obeyed. "Take them off," he continued, and she lowered her underwear and stood in front of him, naked.
Lincoln could feel his heart get heavier in his chest. Everything felt so … forbidden.
"Lexi, I want to touch you … there … can I?" he asked, wanting to be certain if she knew what he wanted from her … really. She nodded at him.
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