Her jaw slackened. “Fell for you? What makes you think—?”
Straight, white teeth flashed in one of the biggest grins she’d ever seen on him. “Oh, Green-eyes, you can’t lie to me. It’s in your eyes when you look at me and in your smile and in all the things you don’t say. You want me.”
Heat coursed up her neck and flooded her face. “That’s… you… the nerve…”
He laughed at her sputtering. “Deny it.” He closed the minuscule space between them, stealing her senses, her breath. “Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m the only one that feels it.” When she could merely glower at him, he smirked, self-satisfied.
“Don’t be smug,” she muttered. “We can’t be together and you know it.”
His head tipped back a notch so he was looking down the length of his nose at her. “Why can’t we?”
“Uh, well, the little fact like how you’re immortal maybe? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not conceited, but I am not going to be all cozy with a guy that looks twenty when I’m sixty.”
“Is that the only reason?”
It took a bit more thinking to summon up the rest of her reasons. “The whole you being the reaper of lost souls is kind of weird and your poofing abilities kind of freak me out.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “I can’t help being a… reaper of lost souls, as you put it, but how about no more… poofing in front of you if I can help it? As for the aging thing, I’ll work on it.”
She had no idea what that meant and never got the chance to respond when there was a knock on the door behind her and Kyaerin stood there, looking gorgeous in a two piece suit in mint green. She paused on the threshold to peer curiously at Octavian before her eyes jumped to Riley and widened.
“Riley!” With speeds that should have been impossible in sky-high pumps, Kyaerin had crossed the distance and yanked Riley into a tight embrace. “Oh we’ve missed you, sweetie!”
Having never been missed or embraced as though she were some long, lost daughter, Riley was robbed of words as she stood paralyzed in one of the tightest hugs she’d ever received. The overwhelming scent of wildflowers and sunshine washed over her, fresh and crisp so it was like walking through a meadow. Riley closed her eyes, breathing in the comforting scent.
Kyaerin drew back first, holding Riley at arm’s length. “How are you? You look pale. Have you been sleeping?”
It was on the tip of her tongue to lie, to hide behind the habit of telling no one anything, but the concern was so real, so bright in the woman’s blue eyes that it felt wrong not to be honest.
“I’ve been having some nightmares,” she whispered. “But I’m okay.”
Something sharp and hard shot across her face as she exchanged a quick glance with Octavian. “What kind of nightmares, Riley?”
Not sure what the big deal was — people had nightmares all the time — Riley shrugged. “It’s just my arm—”
In a flash, her arm was grabbed, her sleeve forced back to the elbow. But her coat sleeve refused to go that high.
Kyaerin glowered at it. “Come.”
Not waiting for Riley to oblige, Kyaerin dragged her across the room to the bed. She was stripped of her coat and shoved onto the mattress still warm from Octavian’s body heat. Kyaerin tore back the sleeve of her sweater to the wrapping mummifying her arm. Octavian stood at her shoulder, blank faced as he watched his mother unravel the gauze.
“It’s really not that bad,” Riley lied. “The doctor said it was eczema. He gave me some cream…” The rest of her words trailed off when both her companions hissed as her injuries came into view.
“It’s gotten worse,” Kyaerin murmured.
“I think it only looks that way because I keep scratching it in my sleep,” Riley explained, trying to draw her arm back.
But Kyaerin was having none of that. She held on tighter, examining the raw flesh.
“Is that supposed to happen?” Octavian asked, leaning over his mother’s shoulder to get a better look.
Kyaerin shook her head. “I’ve never seen anything like this. The mark shouldn’t be doing this to her.”
“Do you think it’s the ascension?” Octavian straightened.
“Ascension?” Riley glanced from one to the other, hoping for some answers to this boggling situation.
Kyaerin continued to slowly rock her head from side to side, her expression one of utter bewilderment. “I don’t know. It could be. Ascending is the most important part of the transition.”
Riley yanked her arm free. “Hello! Hi, owner of the arm here, can someone tell me what you’re talking about?”
Kyaerin faced her. The contemplation and uncertainty in her blue eyes had all the paranoia in Riley bristling.
“What—?”
Kyaerin took her hand, ceasing her trepidation. “It’s going to be okay.”
“What is?” Riley demanded, her voice high pitched.
Kyaerin exchanged a long glance with Octavian before speaking again. “Riley.” She squeezed Riley’s hand. “I’m going to remove the block I put in your memory, okay?”
Riley’s eyes widened. “You put a block… where? What? How? That is so wrong!”
“I know and I’m sorry. I just need you not to freak out when I do.”
Riley threw up her hands. “Why is nothing ever simple with you guys?”
Kyaerin offered her a small smile. “I’m sorry. Are you ready?”
No!
Riley nodded. “Yes. Unblock me.”
Kyaerin leaned forward until they were eyelevel. Riley tossed an uncertain glance towards Octavian. He offered her a small encouraging nod. She turned back to Kyaerin, fighting not to fidget.
“It’s okay, Riley,” Kyaerin murmured softly. “You know you’re safe. Just relax.”
In theory, it should have been impossible to relax. It was a known fact that by telling someone to relax, it always provoked the opposite reaction. You just couldn’t relax when you knew something weird was about to happen. But Riley did take a deep breath, willing herself to at least offer the illusion of relaxing.
“There’s a girl,” Kyaerin said. “Keep breathing, slow and steady.”
Riley did, but it felt strange. Yeah, it was something she did every day, but to be told how to breathe was another story.
Kyaerin raised a hand and lightly touched the side of Riley’s face, trailing the tip of her fingers from the hairline at her temple to the curve of her chin. The touch was feather-light. Riley barely felt it, but it warmed her from head to toe. She felt the world lift off her shoulders and nothing seemed to matter anymore as she floated happily in a cool stream of blissful nothingness.
“I need you to remember something for me, Riley.” Her soft, lulling voice pooled over her like a cozy blanket. “I need you to remember the night you saw Octavian behind the diner with Billius.”
Riley wanted to ask who Billius was, but she knew. It was a distant memory, a faraway spark lost somewhere in her vast subconscious.
“Do you remember, Riley?”
“A little,” she confessed, trying so hard to please the sweet voice whispering into her ear.
“Keep trying,” it encouraged. “It’s there. Find it.”
Billius. She vaguely remembered his face, his wild mane of hair, his cold eyes… his hand on her wrist.
Riley’s eyes flew open. A gasp escaped her as a waterfall of memories slammed down over her head. Everything from waking up that morning, going shopping to being grabbed by Billius and rescued by Octavian went flooding through her mind with the force of a dame breaking.
“Oh my God!” She grabbed at the end table with one hand and her pounding chest with the other. “Oh my God… what…?”
“Shhh,” Kyaerin whispered. “It’s all right. Breathe slowly.”
“What… what…” She couldn’t seem to find another word to convey the confusion and terror flooding through her. She could feel every moment of that night slamming into her, each one weighing a ton.
“Octavian…”
“I’m here.” He moved forward, his hands reaching for her, bringing with them the sanity she was lacking.
“No!” Kyaerin grabbed his wrist, stopping him.
Riley gasped, her eyes wide with panic as he was propelled away from her. “No… wait!”
Octavian met the fear in her eyes with a raw torment in his. Hands that had been so close to offering her relief from the chaos balled into fists at his sides.
“I’m sorry, baby,” Kyaerin said, genuine honesty heavily in her voice.
“Why?” Riley croaked. “Please…”
Kyaerin moved into Octavian’s path when he tried to get to Riley.
“Mom!” he growled, attention lost in Riley and the plea in her eyes. “She needs me.”
“She needs you to be strong,” Kyaerin argued. “You’re making this worse for her. Just give her a moment.”
He didn’t move any closer, but he didn’t move away either. He stood stock still with every muscle in his body vibrating with rigid tension.
Kyaerin, satisfied that he wouldn’t try again, turned to Riley. “Tell me what you remember, Riley.”
Eyes still locked with Octavian, Riley replied, “Everything. I remember…” She took a deep breath. “You stabbed a man.”
“He killed a demon,” Kyaerin said.
Riley wasn’t listening as she stared at Octavian. “You did that poofy thing again.”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a humorless smile. “You didn’t like it much then either.”
“You touched him and water came out of everywhere and then you told Gideon and Magnus to burn him…” She shook her head. “I’m scared.” Any other time, the confession would have mortified her, but at that moment, it was all she could think.
The look on Octavian’s face was one of a man getting stabbed through the chest with a rusty blade. “Baby…”
Kyaerin touched her knee lightly, drawing Riley’s attention back over to her. “The reason I removed the block is because it will make what I’m about to say easier. Do you remember the first time Octavian touched you?”
Riley shook her head.
Kyaerin blinked, jerking back. “You don’t?”
“She fainted,” Octavian murmured. “As soon as I touched her, her body… it seized and then she screamed and…”
“Fainted?” Kyaerin’s dainty eyebrows folded in the middle, forming a thin crease. “I suppose maybe that’s normal for a human. They’re not equipped to handle all that power at once.”
“It was horrible,” Riley whispered. “I had the weirdest dream.”
“Dream?” Kyaerin said.
“You didn’t tell me about that,” Octavian said at the same time.
Riley frowned at him. “You never asked. When I woke up, you weren’t anywhere near me.” She felt her cheeks flame at the accusation in her tone.
“What did you dream about?” Kyaerin prompted.
“Death,” Riley whispered. “So much death and fire and suffering. It was like a horror flick of Hell. People were being tortured and skinned…” She shuddered. “I could smell their bodies burning and feel the heat of the fire, and their screams… God, their screams were…”
Kyaerin gently rubbed her hand. “It’s all right.”
“What does it mean?” Octavian demanded, turning on his mother. “Is it the oath?”
Kyaerin shook her head. “I don’t know, Octavian. This is all new to me.”
“What does any of this have to do with my arm?” Riley asked.
Releasing her, Kyaerin drew up a chair and set it facing Riley. She sat. “The night Octavian touched you, he marked you.”
Riley blinked. “Marked me for what? How?”
Kyaerin took her hand once more and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Like wolves, we mate for life. Finding your mate is a big deal amongst our kind. It’s such a rare and beautiful thing. But because of our oath, we are forbidden to love mortals, never mind mark them. What Octavian has done… it has not been done since before the war.”
Tenderly, she turned Riley’s arm over, exposing the angry welts across her forearm. She smoothed the raw area with the pad of her thumb.
“A Selkie mate can only be identified by the mark she bares.” Carefully, she released Riley and turned her own arm over, rolling up the sleeve on her blazer and exposing the pale flesh of her forearm.
There, just beneath the crook of her elbow, the flesh was raised as though someone had burned the skin with a branding iron. The intricately coiled symbol was framed by an image of a shield. The vines within were wrapped to form an interlocked circle she’d seen in Celtic designs as a symbol of continuum, of forever. No beginning or end. Eternal.
A smile touched Kyaerin’s lips as she gazed upon the mark. It was as though all her fondest memories lay etched into her flesh. “I got this the night Liam and I found each other. It’s our promise to each other that we will be together forever. We don’t have weddings in our world, so this is, in a way, our wedding bands. The symbol of our unity. Our oath to never fall for a human is keeping you from ascending. It’s trying to undo the binding, but it won’t succeed. There is no magic stronger than that of two people who are made for each other. That’s a bond stronger than time itself.”
A blinding pain speared her through the chest at the mere thought of being taken from Octavian, and even as she considered the lunacy of that thought, her soul hurt.
“I won’t let that happen,” Octavian vowed evenly.
“I didn’t say anything,” Riley murmured, aching to go to him, to be drawn into his arms and have him seal that promise against her lips.
His eyes flashed as though reading her mind. “You didn’t have to.”
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! This wasn’t right. It wasn’t normal.
“What happens if I never… ascend?” She broke the warm web Octavian was weaving around her. “Will I die?”
“We’re going to do everything we can to make sure you do ascend,” Kyaerin soothed.
“What if I don’t want to?”
Chapter 18
Kyaerin appeared as shocked as Octavian did at her question. “What?”
Riley shrugged. “Well, no one asked me if I wanted to be marked or… married. What if I don’t? What if I’m not ready? What if I mess it up like my parents did or do something wrong or—”
The shock melted into a soft smile of understanding. She reached over and lightly touched the side of Riley’s head, stroking her hair back from her face. “You’re thinking with your head and, as logical as it usually is, try listening with your heart.” She dropped her hand and rose to her feet. She turned to Octavian. “I’m going to send a message to the Gravedigger. If anyone knows what this means, it will be him.”
Octavian nodded, his features blank.
“Who’s the Gravedigger?” Riley asked, disliking the idea of words like Gravedigger were being thrown around in regards to her. Maybe it was just her paranoia, but it was a bit difficult to get past something that had grave and digging in the title.
“He’s the keeper of records. If anyone can help us with your mark, it’s him.”
With a kiss to Octavian’s cheek and a smile for Riley, Kyaerin left them. Riley turned to the man standing tall and somber in front of her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Octavian glanced down at her. “For what?”
She didn’t know why, but the very thought of having hurt him had splinters of pain coursing through her veins.
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “For not being ready. For it being me the imprint chose.”
He snorted. “I wouldn’t be half as crazy about you if you weren’t your stubborn self and I wouldn’t pick anyone else.”
Warm fingers of heat slipped up her cheeks. “I know from what your mom said about when she got marked, she was so happy about it.”
“That’s because she was raised knowing what it was and how special it is.”
Riley sighed, rea
ching for the wraps Kyaerin had set aside. She rewrapped her injuries and tugged her sleeve down over it. She got to her feet.
“I’ll disappoint you,” she told him.
“Not possible.” He said it with such unfaltering certainty, like the possibility was laughable or so ludicrous that the thought couldn’t possibly exist. It reflected in his eyes and in the way he studied her as though she were the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.
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