by Kristen Echo
When Nicolas finally came out, he looked perfect with the towel wrapped around his hips and a grin that dared her to walk away. He carried far too much weight on his twenty-five-year-old shoulders. It was clear he needed her just as much as she needed him. Nicolas Ivarsson was her boyfriend, and she had no intention of giving him up. She loved him too much to walk away.
They’d have to figure out how to tell her father the good news. But that conversation would happen much later. She hoped Nico wouldn’t make her wait too long, but she would wait forever if that’s what it took. It wasn’t a game, she was in this for the long haul and she would prove it.
Nico’s eyes widened as she pulled back the covers and crawled towards him. “You’re still naked.”
“Drop the towel and join me,” she said, reaching for the terry-cloth. They had said all that needed to be said; now she wanted to feel. She needed to show him how much she loved without words.
Chapter 14
The next morning, they didn’t make love before Nico left for practice. His kiss told her everything she needed to know. He loved her, even if he wasn’t ready to say it. He proved his feelings by introducing her to his friends and by worshipping her body. That man had so much love to give and she wanted it all. Everything would work out, it had to.
She needed a sounding board; someone who wouldn’t judge her, but offered great advice. “I’m in trouble.”
“What happened? Who do I need to kill or did you kill someone? If that’s the case, I can borrow my brother’s truck to dispose of the body. Don’t worry; I’ve got your back.” Maddy’s flair for theatrics never ceased to make her laugh.
“No, you goof. I’m in love and he doesn’t think he can love me back.”
She sighed and Caroline heard cupboard doors opening and closing. “You woke me up to discuss your love life. You’re aware it’s not noon yet, right?” Her best friend rarely opened her eyes before one in the afternoon.
“Make your coffee and help me. I told him I loved him and now I don’t know what to do.”
“Girl what have I told you about laying down the L-word too quickly? Besides, last night you planned to spill the Northcote beans. How did that go or did you chicken out again?”
“The timing wasn’t right. But he knows. It was messy and not at all as I had rehearsed but he didn’t run.” Caroline gave her the play-by-play, leaving out the blowjob and make up sex. Maddy listened and didn’t interrupt.
“So, let me get this straight. You professed your love, and he told you he’ll never say it back.” When Caroline didn’t respond, she continued talking. “He might be a great guy, but he’s not worth it. His emotional baggage is pretty hefty and it will drown you. Don’t shoot the messenger, but I’m not sure he’ll be there for you when it counts. He wants you to lie to your dad. Caroline, you are his dirty little secret. Which sounds hot, but take away the sex and what do you have?”
Maddy didn’t get it because she’d never been in love. The sex wasn’t the glue to their relationship. It was the laughs and the looks. The desire to be with him and the way he made her feel. Every time she heard his smooth voice it sent shivers down her spine. Her friend had it all wrong. If she needed Nico, he’d be there.
“His closest friends know, and so do you. It’s not a secret. He needs time to process things and his baggage isn’t any heavier than mine. That’s why we’re meant to be together; to lift each other up.”
“Wow, you are so far gone it’s hardly worth having this discussion. You called to vent that your lover man won’t love you. But you don’t really want to hear what you have to do; therefore, I can’t help you. For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re not lying to each other anymore, but I still see a failed relationship on the horizon. He will end up breaking your heart.”
Failure wasn’t an option. Caroline had waited years to meet a man who made her feel whole. She would not cut him loose because he was damaged too. Life wasn’t perfect, but they had a chance to make something real. “I love you, and I appreciate your perspective, but I disagree. Nico is worth the risk.”
“I’ll see you at the studio this afternoon.” Maddy hung up and Caroline sat on her bed wondering if her friend was right.
Would time help Nico realize love wasn’t a bad thing? He had the power to destroy her. The longer they kept their relationship a secret the more real that possibility became. Nico wasn’t due to hit the road again for a few days. They had time to be together.
Caroline decided not to dwell on the things she had no control over and poured her heart and soul into her music. The day passed in a blur of sheet music and repetition. She’d nailed the verse on their new single, but there was a part in the chorus that hadn’t mixed right. Caroline tried to focus on the band, but Maddy’s warning nagged at her. By the time they wrapped it was well into the evening hours.
Nico planned to come by after his game and she wondered if seeing him again would help alleviate the edginess. When she plopped down on her couch, she didn’t have any answers. She needed a distraction and something mindless for a few hours. As she flipped through the channels, she found the hockey game. In her youth, she’d caught the odd game, but it failed to hold her interest. That wasn’t the case anymore.
Nicolas Ivarsson was a beast on the ice. He defended his net, preventing the opponents from getting their shots off. His drive and skill was impressive to watch. He chased the puck with laser focus, slapping it away and sending it down the ice. The announcers called him the poke checking master, whatever that meant. His love for the sport showed in how he conducted himself during the game. He gave it his all and Caroline found yet another reason to love him.
The team killed it. She recognized Theo and the other two from the dinner party. Knowing the players added a level of excitement. Watching Nico hustle down the ice and pound the others into the boards was fiercely sexy. Who knew hockey could be so enjoyable?
They won the game. An interview afterwards featured Nico with his helmet head and red cheeks. His smile charmed the fans worldwide, and she understood why so many women offered to be with him. But that was the past, and she was his future. She had to convince him of that.
After his interview ended, he showed up at her door, looking so delicious her mouth watered. His hair was damp and so were her panties. The kiss that followed all but incinerated them. They spent the next few hours making love on every surface. There wasn’t a spot where she wouldn’t picture them from that night on. They were amazing together. She was more convinced than ever that he was the one; the man she’d be with forever. She didn’t need a grand gesture to convince her, but she needed him to come around soon.
The next few days were more of the same. Waking up with her boyfriend’s hot body pressed against her back would never get old. She only wished she didn’t feel like they were stolen moments. As if one day she’d wake up and he wouldn’t be there. Until he agreed to be open about their relationship, there was no way that feeling would go away.
Her phone vibrated on the coffee table but she ignored it. Connie had called first thing that morning and asked her to come over. It was Nico’s day off and she'd told her sister, she was busy with work. It was one thing to omit facts from her father, but she hated lying to her sister. After she hung up she felt like crap, like a knot twisted in her gut. Hours later and she couldn’t shake the unease.
Nico pulled her into his arms and she settled against his chest. “What’s wrong, you seem tense?” They snuggled and watched the news. Highlights from last night’s hockey game played. It had been another close one, but they’d won.
“I’m…” She didn’t know how to tell him the secret relationship she'd told him was fine wasn’t okay anymore. That she wanted to tell the world they were together, and she wanted to start with her family. “Connie asked me to come over, but I can’t go there because I’m with you. I miss her. We have spent little time together this week and I usually see her every day.”
He cupped her chin, titling her f
ace towards his. “I don’t want to come between you and your family. Go see her, we can hook up later. It’s no big deal.”
But it was a big deal to her, and she thought Maddy had been right. He might never be ready for the kind of relationship she wanted. Each time she said I love you and he didn’t say it back was like taking a punch to the throat.
He didn’t mean to hurt her, but as she stared into his eyes her heart constricted. “This is your only day off and then we won’t see each other for days.” She ran her fingers over the smooth ridges of his chest. “I want to spend time with you. Are you sick of me already?”
Nico kissed the top of her head. “Not even a little bit, angel. But don’t neglect your family because they are important to you. We can see each other after your visit.”
“Or you could come with me?” She wanted her sister to meet the man of her dreams. The two would hit it off and then maybe he’d be ready to tell people they were a couple.
“There’s no way for us to explain that to your father. You go. I’ll come over when you’re done.” He shifted their bodies into a seated position. “I enjoy our time together. More than enjoy it, but I don’t want you resenting me. We’ll find a balance.”
“I don’t want a balance; I want it all. My cake and eating it too. This keeping us a secret… how much longer do you think you need?” Caroline chewed her lip. She didn’t want to rush him, but she owed it to herself to be honest.
“I don’t know. We’re still so new; it’s complicated.” He ran his fingers through his hair.
Her phone rang again. “It’s not complicated.” She reached over and checked the call display. It was her father. “Hi.”
“Why haven’t you answered your phone? You need to come over.” The sense of urgency in his voice scared her.
“Whoa, what’s wrong? Breathe, daddy.”
“Your sister is missing. She went out for a walk with Meagan almost two hours ago and they aren’t back. She missed her piano lesson and you know how much she loves music. Something is wrong. Meagan’s not answering her phone. Fuck, I’m losing my mind.” Her father never swore.
“Oh shit! I’m on my way. Have you called the cops?” Caroline rushed to the closet and put on her coat. Nico was right beside her, helping her zip it up when her fingers fumbled.
“Of course I called. They’ve put out an alert, but they told me to relax, as if that’s fucking possible. Caroline, you know how she is with her routine, I’ve retraced the walk to the park and came back hoping she’d be here. She’s not here. I love you both so much. You need to be here.”
“I’m coming. Call me back as soon as you hear anything. I love you, too.” Caroline put the phone in her jean pocket and looked at the man beside her.
He took her shaking hands and rubbed them, infusing strength into her. “What’s going on? I’ll drive you anywhere you need to be.”
“My sister is missing. My family needs me.” The tears she’d been trying to hold back flowed like the mighty Mississippi river. “You can’t take me there.”
“The hell I can’t. Lock up behind us. I’ve got you.” He hugged her and guided them out of her condo.
The drive to her family home felt like an eternity though it wasn’t far. She clutched her phone in her hands as she stared out the window, praying she’d catch sight of Connie. This wasn’t how Nico was supposed to meet her family. She wanted Connie to meet him first. Her sister’s stamp of approval would tip the scale in her favor with her father. But her sister had to be home to meet him. They had to find her first.
Chapter 15
The weather was mild for late January; too cold for a child to be out for hours. Nico let go of her hand as they opened the doors. She tried not to let that tiny action hurt her, but it did. Her emotions ran wild with the possibilities and that didn’t help. Caroline refused to think the worst but when she saw the frantic look on her father’s face, she fell apart.
“Daddy,” she said as she launched herself into his arms. Nico stood behind her. She felt his strong presence, but his lack of contact spoke volumes. He’d held her hand on the drive and they talked about places Connie may have gone. Unfortunately, Connie knew better than to wander off and Meagan was a bright young girl who always had her phone on.
They trusted Meagan to protect Connie when they couldn’t be around, and for the past few months it had been great. The girl had worked in childcare for a few years and aspired to work with special needs children as a speech therapist. She was a perfect choice. Her only drawback was her age. At eighteen Meagan lacked the maturity of the previous care workers, but her heart and common sense made up for the missing years of experience.
Caroline hugged her father tightly, wishing they weren’t in this predicament. He held her close, letting her cry on his shoulder. “Thanks for coming so quickly. Did you talk to your sister today?” He pulled her away and then his eyes landed on the man behind her. “Oh, I didn’t see you, son. Martin said he would make some calls, but you’re fast. He’s in the den. Please go talk with him, and he’ll fill you in. I need a moment with my daughter.”
“Of course, sir. I’m here to help any way I can.” Nico touched the small of her back. “Will you be all right?”
The answer was no. She was anything but all right. She needed his support to stay upright, but she knew the danger of coming out to her father without his consent. Nico wasn’t ready to be open about their relationship and rushing him would push him away. But she needed him so badly.
“I’m fine,” she said between sniffles. Caroline wanted to say thanks for the ride, for being there and for holding her hand through her nightmare; but she couldn’t. Instead she said the only words she could say. “Thank you… for asking.”
He walked away and her heart plummeted. She didn’t expect him to step up and hold her hand in front her of father, but he did nothing. The day kept getting worse.
“Connie called me this morning and asked me to come over. She said you were meeting with one of the players later and she wanted to go play outside. I’ve been busy with the band and working late. I said no. Oh, God. What if I never get to see her again? What if that’s the last time I hear her voice?”
“Stop that right this instant. Your sister will be home soon. The authorities are on it and we’ve got our NHL family coming to help search. I know I keep my personal and work life separated, but we need all the help we can get. I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding.”
“Where did they go and how long have they been gone?” Caroline didn’t want to associate her sister and missing in the same sentence. “I can’t sit around waiting. I’ll… she really likes the new play structure a few blocks east. Did you check there?”
“When Miss Loriner arrived for Connie’s lessons and Meagan didn’t answer my repeated calls, I walked there myself. They were only going for a quick walk and should've been home hours ago. If you can think of anywhere, please go. Bring our girl home. But bring one of the men with you; Martin and Nicolas are in the den. I don’t need two daughters missing.” He kissed her temple and Caroline wiped her tears.
She needed to hold it together, falling apart wouldn’t help her sister. They lived in a safe neighborhood. Everything would be fine. But the news had reported a slew of recent disappearances. The loud beating of her heart gave her a headache. “You don’t think this has anything to do with the recent missing kids, do you? She’s too young. Aren’t they all teenagers and most likely runaways?”
“The police refused to comment. Let’s not jump to conclusions. I’m sure they’re shopping and Meagan’s phone died. We’ll have a big chuckle soon.” He peered at the front door, willing their little girl to walk inside. It didn’t open.
Caroline hugged him one last time before they walked into the den. The walls were lined with books and a wood burning fireplace crackled in the corner. Martin came over and gave her a hug. His open display of affection surprised her, but she needed the physical connection. She clung to him. “This is messed up. H
ow are you holding up? Never mind; stupid question. What can I do?”
“Someone needs to be with my father until more people come. He shouldn’t be alone, but I need to go find my sister. I need help.” She stepped out of his hug to find Nico at her side.
“I printed off maps of the area while you guys talked. Nico and I highlighted the playgrounds and shops. We sent the GPS coordinate of the further ones to some of the guys. We’ll find her.”
“The truck’s running.” Nico held up the map and took her hand. “Let me help you.”
Her breath hitched as their skin connected. This was the grand gesture Maddy had mentioned. Caroline needed him and he was there for her. She gripped his hand, and they walked out of her family home together.
When they got in the truck, he kissed her before closing her door. The chaste kiss helped her focus. “Daddy said he already checked the park she likes the best, but if they were trying to stay close, they might have gone to King’s park. It’s not far, but we usually don’t go there in winter. It might be a long shot.”
Nico typed something into his phone before they took off towards the park. “I sent her picture to a few of the guys from the team. They will meet us there. It will be dark soon enough and it’s a big park. We’ll need more eyes.”
“Don’t remind me. Connie hates the dark. She also doesn’t do well with strangers. If they find her before we do they should call me.”
“I’ll tell them once we get there. You two look a lot alike with the light hair and eyes. You’re tall like your dad, and you have his oval face.”
“Yeah, my sister’s tall for her age too. I guess it runs in the family.” Her family needed Connie to be okay. She was the little ray of sunshine that brightened the day and made life better. Caroline couldn’t suffer another loss. Another tear fell, and she wiped it with the back of her hand.