by Shan
I rolled my window down when Rozalyn pulled her little bad ass son Tamarion out of the car. God I remember days where that little nut used to drive me crazy. I respected Tamar for being a stand up guy and taking care of his kids as he should, but that time when he took the kids from Rozalyn and me playing mommy to those bastards was the worst time of my life. Tamarion was his daddy in the making and I was for certain the little motherfucker was probably already carrying a gun.
“I’m okay, Melo,” Rozalyn said to her detail as he approached her car. I watched as he moved a few feet away, but didn’t quite leave her and the kids’ side. “I’m gonna take them inside to get something to eat and use the bathroom before we get back on the road again. Ms. Natalie is going with me.”
Melo nodded his head and walked back over his car. He leaned against it and for a second he and I caught eyes before I quickly turned away from him. I had never met him before, but I had hoped that Tamar had never told any of his men about me.
My train of thought left me when Trina climbed out of the car and ran to Rozalyn. She picked my baby girl up and they all headed to the gas station that had a McDonalds attached to it. My head was telling me don’t do what I was thinking, but my heart wouldn’t stop me when I got out of the car and followed them inside. I watched as Rozayln placed Trina on the floor and walked over to the McDonalds’ counter to place an order. The lady that was with her had taken the boys to the restroom.
This dumb bitch wasn’t even watching my child. Trina took off running towards the play area and I had to make sure that some lunatic didn’t try and snatch her up. It was the mother’s instinct in me. I followed behind her as she struggled to push the door open that led to the outside.
“Let me help you,” I laughed after hearing her grunt and strain to try and get the door open. I pushed the door open; she looked up at me, smiled, and then took off running towards the slide. I watched as she had the biggest smile on her face as she played without a care in the world. I took my cell phone out of my purse and began to snap pictures of her. She was so beautiful. So precious and she was mine.
Trina had gotten into the area that was filled with all those balls and was having the time of her life until some little kid pushed her down and she began to cry. I ran over to her and pulled her out to check her over.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I examined her little body. She was rubbing her little hand and had tried to run back to play until the sound of Rozalyn’s voice caught her in her tracks. I was paralyzed with fear when Rozalyn snatched Trina up and hugged her tightly.
“Oh, my God, baby don’t do that anymore. You scared the shit out of me,” Rozalyn said and I could hear the emotions in her voice that told me Trina had given her a scare. I hated to admit it, but I could see that she really cared for my daughter. I attempted to turn my back and walk away but a hand around my wrist sent me all the way back to the time I was bound and shackled to my bed after trying to kill Rozalyn.
“You bitch!” Rozalyn spewed. “Are you following me?”
I slowly turned around on my heels and our eyes met. Rozalyn looked as if she had seen a ghost and I was delighted to see that she actually feared me.
“Is everything okay, Mrs. Andrews,” the lady that accompanied Rozalyn asked.
“Get Melo now and get them out of here. I don’t know what the fuck you think you’re doing, but bitch you had better not come near her again.”
“She’s my daughter not yours.”
“She don’t even know you, Kari.”
“But she will. Soon. How’s your little boyfriend? Did he heal from the gunshot wound that he suffered?”
Her eyes damn near grew to the size of saucers after that. It didn’t matter now. My secret was out and I was sure that it wouldn’t be long before she had Tamar on the phone and alerted him that Kari was back in town.
“Surprised,” I giggled.
“Hoe you better keep your crazy ass away from me and my fucking daughter. I’m not playing with you, Kari,” Rozalyn yelled catching the attention of the kids and parents that were in the play area. I spotted the guy Melo coming out the corner of my eye and I took off running towards the exit that led to the parking lot. I jumped in my car, and immediately got out of there. I had to get in contact with my person and let them know that I had been exposed. I just hoped that now that the secret was out that I was no longer in jail that they wouldn’t go turning their back on me again.
Hmmm, I wonder if I should expose their ass now; I thought as I accelerated onto the freeway.
27: Starr
I was lying in bed asleep when I had suddenly heard a door opening and closing. I reached over and pulled open the nightstand to grab my gun when my bedroom door swung open. I quickly got my hands on my pistol and swung it around when it was pushed to the side and taken out of my hand.
“What if I had been Dominique?” Neek asked as he turned on the lamp and sat on the side of the bed.
“What the hell are you doing, Neek? And Dominique knows to knock on my door first before entering.” I got out of bed and went straight for the bathroom. This damn baby had me pissing all throughout the night when it didn’t have me kneeled over the toilet spitting my guts out.
I used the restroom, washed my hands, and came out to see Neek lying comfortably in bed. I looked at him and frowned. The last time I had seen him wasn’t a friendly fucking visit and I still had the marks on my face to prove it. I grabbed the gun from the nightstand and held it down by my side. This bipolar shit he was on wasn’t gonna stand today and one wrong move and I was killing Dominique’s daddy. No questions asked.
“Stop looking at me like that yo, come here.”
“Nigga, is you serious? Look at my face!”
“Be quiet before you wake our daughter.”
Neek’s words were slurring so I knew that he had been drinking. I looked at him and noticed how red his eyes were and could also see that he hadn’t been sleeping either.
“Just want my wife back. Back before all the bullshit. Back when it was you, Dominique, and me against the world. Back when I knew my wife would never let another man touch her in the way that only I’m supposed to.”
I sat on the bed with my back to Neek and sighed. I had no idea what to say. I had truly fucked up and didn’t even know where to began to pick up the pieces. I had changed my phone number last night after Dro kept constantly texting and calling me. Everything was all innocent with him begging me to come to my senses and be with him, then after so long, it turned to him threatening my life, and threatening to kill Neek.
I knew after that I couldn’t go back to Dro anymore. There was a thin line between love and hate for real and Dro was exhibiting all the signs that he had crossed every line ever drawn.
“I fucked up, Neek, and I am sorry.”
“Do you love him, Starr?”
“No, I have feelings for him, but it’s not love. He was just a good time and he made me feel good. It was like you had stopped caring about that. Your image had changed up on me, you were trying to change me, and the sex hadn’t been the same for us in a while, and I was out there caught up looking for shit I didn’t need and have recently realized that I didn’t even want. I don’t know, but it was stupid as fuck for me to just go out and cheat on you for becoming a better man. What kinda bitch does that? And as far as the sex, I know I could’ve just talked to you and told you how I was feeling and that you would’ve done everything in your power to make it right.”
“You damn right I would’ve. And yea I was trying to change us. Thinking that maybe if we walked a straight line that it would be better for us. I was always mad at you for still wanting to have a connection to the streets, but deep down, I missed the shit just as much as you did. I come alive when I’m out here chasing this paper so I know how you feel. But still though, all you had to do was come to me. You and Dominique come first and you know I want y’all to be happy.”
“I’m sorry. I was being childish and a fuckin’ hoe. I want
us to fix what I fucked up, but I don’t even know if we can now. Shit is just all bad, Neek. I really, really fucked up. I’m pregnant,” I admitted.
I could hear Neek stirring behind me and I couldn’t even turn around to face him. I held my head in my hands and started to cry. I didn’t even know who the hell my child’s father was, but deep down, I knew that the possibility that it was Neek’s was very slim. We only had sex a few times a month while Dro and I was damn near getting it in every damn day.
“Is it mine?” Neek asked that dreaded question that I didn’t want to answer.
“Honestly, I don’t even know.”
“What you gonna do, Starr? I’m not taking care of another nigga’s baby and I’m not even finna allow Dominique to be raised around that fuck nigga’s baby either.”
Neek got up out of the bed and I could see him from the corner of my eye pacing the floor. Another abortion I feared would sterilize me. I had so many problems after the last time that I didn’t think I would ever get pregnant again. I didn’t want to keep interfering with God’s work. I knew that shit would bring me nothing but bad luck.
“Get an abortion.”
I can’t, Neek, I can’t do that again.”
“Fuck you mean again?”
“I was pregnant a while back when I first started messing with Dro and I got an abortion then because I didn't know then either who I was pregnant by.”
“Does he know about the baby?”
“Yes, I told him last night.”
“Your ass just full of fuckin’ surprises. I don’t know who the fuck you are right now.”
“I don't even know who I am right now. Maybe we should just spend some time a part. I can go back to Germany to be with my dad for a little while and get myself together.”
“No, fuck that! You not leaving me. Call that nigga up right now, tell him it’s over, and that you getting rid of that baby today. If you really want this to work, let me hear you tell that nigga it’s over with.”
“I told him that last night, which is why I got my number changed. If I call him—”
“Man, fuck that. Change it again. I wanna hear that shit for myself, Starr.”
“Okay, damn.” I grabbed my cell phone and unlocked it. It was raggedy as fuck and I could barely see through the cracks on the screen. I was waiting on my new one to come through the mail, but for now I had to work with this piece of shit. I had to move my fingers over the screen several times to get to the phone icon so that I could dial Dro up.
I hit him several times without him answering, so I decided to send him a text to let him know that it was me calling him and we needed to talk. After a few minutes, my phone rung and it the caller ID displayed D O, the R was missing due to the big ass crack that went through the center of the phone. I hit the answer key and then the speaker key so that Neek could hear the conversation. I wasn’t trying to hide anything. I really wanted to fix our marriage and I was gonna do whatever I had to do to make sure that happened.
“Hello,” I answered.
“What’s up baby? That nigga must not be acting right, I see it didn’t take long for you to come back to Daddy.”
“Dro, I meant what I said last night. It’s over with us so please just leave me alone. I’m gonna work things out with Neek and as far as this pregnancy goes, I’m getting an abortion so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Starr, you bet not kill my fuckin’ seed or I swear to God, you and that nigga is dead! On my life, don’t fuck with me!”
“Hang up,” Neek said. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
I tried to hang up the phone but the shit wasn’t working. Dro continued to spit out threats when suddenly Neek snatched the phone away from me.
“My nigga, you ain’t gonna do a muthafuckin’ thing to her or me. Like I told you before, I won’t miss the next time. I’m going straight for your dome.”
“We’ll see about that blood. You know who the fuck my fam is, so you already know how I give it up. Ain’t no hoe in my blood, ya bish, ask about me.”
“Ain’t gotta ask shit about you. Come around Starr again and I promise you, you dead. Pussy ass nigga.”
Neek tried to hang the phone up and when he couldn’t do it either, he walked into the bathroom with Dro continuously screaming through the speaker. I shook my head once I heard the phone drop into the toilet. He came back into the bedroom, pulled me up from the bed, and forced me to look up at him.
I stared into his eyes and could see how badly I had hurt him. The pain he was feeling radiated off his skin and caused me to breakdown. I had so much regret, but I knew that this man loved me with everything in him, and would never do me no wrong. I was so thankful that he was willing to forgive me even after I continued with my charade of breaking his hurt repeatedly.
“Listen to me real good. You better get that nigga out your system real quick. Starting with that baby. And if I find out you fucking him again or even having the smallest amount of contact with him, that’s it. I’m taking Dominique and we’re gone for good.”
“I’m done with him. And I will never do anything to hurt you again, Neek. I’m sorry. Thank you for forgiving me.”
I wrapped my arms around Neek and rested my head against his chest. No matter how hard I was on the outside, my family was the only thing that could turn me into mush and have me pouring my eyes out.
28: Tamar
Keysha and I were sitting on the couch relaxing and watching Fruitvale Station. Keysha had her head resting in my chest and I could hear her sighing each time I reached over and picked up my phone to check it. I was waiting to hear back from Melo or either Rozalyn.
Natalie, the nanny, had called hysterically saying that something was wrong and then right after that, Melo called saying that Rozalyn had an argument with some bitch in a McDonalds and they were all headed back this way. At first, I didn’t want her or my kids going anywhere, but after seeing those pictures and thinking about her saying that a bitch tried to kill her and Jaheim, something wasn’t right.
I told Rozalyn’s ass not to get on the road and that I would send for the private jet, but she had it in that fucked up head of hers that either me or Keysha was the one out to kill her. I don’t know what fuck had her thinking that shit. She already knew that no matter how many threats I made towards her that I would never actually end her life.
I might bring her close to seeing the light, but I would pull her back just in enough time before she actually saw it. As far as Keysha went, she was too busy mourning the loss of our son to even give Rozalyn’s ass any time. Rozalyn was so gone off that nigga Jaheim that she couldn’t even open her eyes to see that he was most likely the one that got her into this shit.
I heard the front door open and I quickly moved Keysha to the side to get up to see who it was. Zavier and Zyir came running down the corridor followed by Trina. I picked Trina up and tossed her into the air as I continued to head towards the door.
Tamarion was tucked by his mama’s side like he was her bodyguard and I could see the worried look on his face. He always knew when something wasn’t right and whenever he felt like some shit was going down, he refused to leave Rozalyn’s side.
“Here take her and y’all go upstairs,” I told Tamarion as I sat Trina down on the floor.
“I wanna stay with my mama,” Tamarion shot back and I gave him a look that made him poke his lip out.
“I’m not going anywhere, Marion. Do what your daddy said,” Rozalyn told him and he took Trina’s hand and stomped away. I shook my head and sighed as I looked Rozalyn over. She looked stressed. Her hair was all over her head and I went to grab her so that I could wrap my arms around her, but the smell of Keysha’s Versace perfume rounded the corner and I knew that she was not too far behind.
I looked over my shoulder and could see Keysha coming our way. She wasn’t even supposed to be on her feet, but I guess since she heard Rozalyn’s voice she had to come and be nosey.
“Let’s go to my office
and talk,” I told Rozalyn and grabbed her hand. I pulled her ahead of me and stopped when I came closer to Keysha. “I’ll be out in a minute. Let me find out what’s going on.”
Keysha rolled her eyes and then gave me a kiss on the lips. She tried to slide her tongue into my mouth when I pulled back.
“Gimme a minute.”
I left her standing in the corridor and made my way to my office. Closing the door behind me, I took a seat in the chair, and reached out for Rozalyn to come and sit in my lap.
“No, thank you. I don’t want your girlfriend to come in here and think that something is going on.”
“What?”
“Why weren’t you answering any of my calls when I tried calling you?”
“You haven’t called me. I told Melo to tell you to call me and let me know what the hell was going on. All he said was that you was all hysterical because you got into it with some bitch at McDonalds. See messing with that nigga gonna get you killed and you thinking that shit got something to—”
“It do got something to do with you. Your damn crazy ass baby mama.”
“Come on now. Keysha been here with me since we left the hospital yesterday. She can barely even walk.”
“Damn, did you ignore my text messages too?”
“I didn’t get you shit from you, Rozalyn, no calls or no text. You losing your damn mind or something?”
Rozalyn took her phone out of her pocket and sat it on my desk in front of me. I went to her call log and saw that she had called me thirty times, but my phone didn’t ring once. I had been sitting here going crazy waiting on her to call me or send me a text to let me know what was going on.
I then pulled my phone out my pocket to check to see what was going on and why my phone hadn’t rung or why I hadn’t gotten any of her messages.
“Why didn’t you tell me she was out of jail, Tamar, she could’ve taken Trina and I wouldn’t have even known what was going on?”
I was deep in thought while looking at my phone that I had heard what Rozalyn said but nothing was processing. Unblock this caller? I wondered as I looked at my phone trying to figure out when Rozalyn’s number had been blocked. I knew that I hadn’t done that and could only think of one person that would do some foul mess like that.