by Amanda Jones
Once I finally opened the last button I slipped the shirt over my shoulders, dropping the fabric down to my shoulder blades, still not showing him my injuries. I stopped and took a deep breath to steady myself and that’s when I felt him. His fingers were on the right side of the back of my neck, behind my ear. He dragged my hair gently and deliciously slowly over my left shoulder, while I remained frozen.
“Fuck,” he groaned. Tension zipped between us like a live wire, and neither of us moved. His scent was enveloping me now and my head sagged forward so that my chin touched my chest. I was paralyzed with lust for this man. I felt his finger running a trail from just under my hairline down my back, causing me to see stars behind my eyelids. I had known my body would betray me and I inwardly cursed it, but I was absolutely incapable of stopping whatever was about to happen.
“Mike,” I whispered. He pulled his finger away from my skin and I wanted it back so badly I moaned deep in my throat in protest. Then his hand slid over my shoulder, dipping down to my collarbone. He dragged his fingers lower, very lightly dancing over the tops of the swells of my breasts and my nipples hardened. I bit my lip to withhold another moan. He brought his hand up to my jaw, grasping it lightly and urging my head to turn toward him. I held the shirt closed with both hands between my breasts and it was so long that it covered all of my bits and pieces, but I still felt extremely exposed. I turned my head and met his eyes, only an inch from my own and then his breath was hitting my mouth and I inhaled deeply, tasting it and practically licking my lips as my pussy ached in response. He leaned in and our lips touched for the first time ever, and nothing else mattered. Suddenly I didn’t care about the past, I just wanted right here and right now. His lips gently caressed mine as if he was afraid of crushing me, so I pushed against him a little harder. The tip of his tongue slipped into my mouth, leaving trails of shooting stars in its wake. I reached up to his neck with one hand and ran my fingers through his hair. He finally tilted his head and pushed his tongue into my mouth, setting off a wave of sizzling pleasure that started at my mouth and ended at my toes. Even in my awkward twisted position, this was so much hotter than I had ever anticipated it being. What started out gently was now a sexual grind, a love-making with our mouths that was inflaming us both. Thrusting over and over again into my mouth, Mike held my head with both of his hands and seemed content to kiss me all day, and I would have let him until he ran one hand down my back, making me suck a breath in as his fingers touched a bite mark.
“Oh God, Mila. I’m so sorry,” he said, breathing heavily after he pulled back. We were still so close, breathing the same air.
“It’s okay.” I stared at him, wondering what direction he would take this, when he pulled back completely.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, dropping his hands from me. Disappointment soared to life as I turned so my back faced him again.
It’s for the best.
My heart rejected that thought as I stared at a painting on the wall across from the bed. I was in a dangerous situation here, possibly even more dangerous than staying with my father. My eyes dropped closed, tears pressing against my lids.
I’m still in love with him.
Chapter Five: Mike:
I stared at Mila’s back, wondering how the fuck life could be so cruel. This woman was everything I wanted, everything I craved in the night, and I couldn’t have her. Even if I she would allow me to make love to her, she would never be mine. It was clear that her body and her mind were on separate pages when it came to me. A piercing agony hit me, unlike any other physical pain I had felt before, and I could barely breathe. I concentrated on slowing my heartbeat and breathing so that I could help Mila and leave as quickly as possible. I needed a run.
“Can I lower your shirt?” I asked her after a few minutes had passed. She dropped the shirt on her own and a spontaneous growl erupted from me at the sight of her back.
“It’s fine,” she said, trying to soothe me, and my anger only increased that she was in this position because of her fucking father.
He needs to die, my panther roared inside of me.
Calm down, the man inside of me contradicted.
Such was the story of my life, constantly battling the two sides of myself that made up one soul. Only one other time had these two parts been at such odds with each other and that was when I had left the pack. When I had left Mila.
“Luckily they don’t need stitches,” I said, trying to get us back to a normal conversation, although nothing about this situation would ever be normal. “Not sure how we would explain bite marks this size at a hospital.” She gave a little forced laugh, and I concentrated on cleaning each wound with antiseptic and bandaging her up. It took about twenty minutes and during that time my eyes strayed to the soft skin of her shoulders and back several times and I had to move around the bed a few times to ease the pressure in my dick. She was so beautiful and I loved her so much, but I knew she didn’t really want me or love me back. And it broke my heart to realize that.
Once I was done I pulled the shirt up and gathered the supplies from the bed. I put it all away and when I came back she was sitting there, buttoned up but with her long, silky legs calling to me like a moth to a flame.
Get out.
“I’m going for a run,” I told her gruffly and I could swear I saw tears in her eyes before she ducked her head.
“You’re not going back to the hills, are you?” She wouldn’t look at me; she just stared down at her hands in her lap.
“No, it’s the middle of the day so I’m not going to shift. I’m just going to run a few miles around the city.” She finally looked up, surprise clear on her face. I was curious as to why she was surprised but she looked so tempting on that bed that I couldn’t wait around to ask her.
“I’ll be back soon. You should sleep,” I said as I rushed out of the bedroom and left the condo.
***
That evening I was waiting for Mila to come out of her bedroom so we could go up to Jonathan and Beth’s for dinner. I had gone running and when I came back she was asleep and I finally slept, too. I really was exhausted from all that had happened in the last day. When I woke up it was late afternoon and Mila was in the shower. She asked me to bandage her up again, and I did it as quickly and politely as possible. She might as well have been a stranger to me.
Yeah, a stranger that I’m in love with and am desperate to lick, touch, and taste.
Sighing, I tapped my fingers against the armrest of the chair. Beth had brought some clothes down for Mila to wear and I was so glad I wouldn’t have to look at her half-naked anymore. There was only so long I could pretend to be indifferent toward her.
Just then, her bedroom door opened and I heard her shoes clicking on the floor. She walked into view and every thought I had about staying away from her went flying out of the window. My eyes inventoried her, even though I knew it was rude as hell. I couldn’t help myself. She looked so fucking amazing in the blue cotton sundress she wore. It wasn’t tight and she wasn’t showing a lot of skin, but she had never looked more beautiful. The color complemented her tan skin and brown eyes and I could see just enough of her sexy curves to make me want to drag her into the bedroom and rip off the dress. Fuck dinner.
“Do I look okay?” she asked me, the first time I can ever remember her showing any female insecurity. It was adorable and I continued to watch her as her cheeks reddened at my silence and she pushed some hair behind her ears.
“You look beautiful,” I said because it was true, and she smiled at me. My cock was hard but it was worth it to see that smile. This was going to be a long night.
We walked out of the condo to the elevator but I didn’t take her hand. I didn’t trust myself to touch her anymore.
When we arrived at Jonathan and Beth’s, the delicious smell of the food made my stomach growl. Mila looked at me and really laughed for the first time since I’d seen her again. I smiled down at her; the sound of her laughter bringing me back to a long-a
go time when things were simpler and the joy of her laughter was an every day occurrence in my life. Mila smiled at me too, and that’s how Jonathan found us when he stepped into the foyer.
“You guys want to come in?” he asked as we continued to smile at each other. Mila went first and as I passed by him, he raised his eyebrows at me. I casually gave him the finger behind the women’s backs and he punched me in the shoulder.
“Hi Beth. It smells wonderful in here,” Mila said and Beth came over to give her a quick hug, apparently catching Mila by surprise because it took her a moment to reciprocate.
“I’m hoping you two got some rest,” Beth said as she kissed me on the cheek and we all sat down at their dining room table.
“A little bit,” Mila said, not meeting anyone’s eyes and Jonathan raised his eyebrows at me again. I kicked him under the table. He grunted and Beth reached over to him and pinched his arm.
“What are your plans for the future?” Beth asked Mila, as Jonathan and I were busy eating. I was paying close attention to Mila’s answer though.
“I’m not sure, really,” she said as she glanced around the table, catching my eye and then quickly looking away. “One thing I know for sure is that I never want to go back to living with the pack.”
“Of course not,” Beth said.
“And I never, ever plan on shifting into a panther again.” Everything stopped then. All eyes were on her and I was struck dumb. What could she possibly mean by that?
“Why would you say that?” Jonathan asked, his food forgotten.
“Because being a panther shifter has given me nothing but bad memories. I want a new life. A human life.” Mila was looking directly at me, almost as if in challenge, and I remained silent.
There’s absolutely no hope for us.
“I used to think that way, too,” Jonathan told her. “After Mike and I left the pack I denied my panther side for a long time. But it wouldn’t go away no matter how much I wanted it to. So that’s when I decided to start trying to rescue people in the city. You know, what Mike and I are doing now.” Mila looked at him, her confusion clear.
“What do you mean, what you and Mike are doing now?” She asked in an angry voice.
“Jonathan and I go out at night in the city and shift,” I told her softly, not understanding why she was upset. “We use our senses of smell and hearing to rescue people, usually women, from being attacked.” Her whole body was taut now, like a violin string about to break. I glanced at Beth and Jonathan and they were watching her closely, too.
“What’s wrong, Mila?” Beth asked gently.
“Nothing,” she said dully and there was an awkward silence as the rest of us tried to pretend everything was normal.
“Well, you’re always welcome to stay with us until you get on your feet,” Jonathan said, and Mila gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. I had no idea what was wrong with her, but I knew she wasn’t trying to be rude. She’d been through a lot. I smiled at Beth in apology and she shook her head as if I was being silly.
“Actually sweetheart, Mila might have to stay with Mike,” Beth said, causing us all to look at her.
“Why?” Jonathan asked, genuinely perplexed.
“We might not have the room.”
“What do you mean? We’ve got the extra bedroom.”
“We’re going to need it. For the baby,” she said, and I watched as Jonathan jumped out of his chair and lifted her up into a hug that lasted for a long time. Between them I heard a lot of “I love you,” and “We’re having a baby!” before they finally parted, Beth wiping her eyes. I got up and kissed Beth and bro-hugged Jonathan, while Mila watched it all in silence.
“Let me go out for you tonight,” I insisted to Jonathan, and it only took one smile from Beth to get him to agree. “We can discuss Mila’s father and the pack another time.” They were more than happy to agree, and we finished dinner quickly before I hustled Mila out the door.
We didn’t speak at all until we got into the condo. I knew something was bothering her, but I didn’t know what it could be. I was preoccupied with Jonathan and Beth’s news. I was so happy for them but also a little envious at the same time. It didn’t appear that I would ever have that kind of life.
“Why didn’t you tell me you go out and rescue people while you’re a panther?” she asked me in an accusatory tone, her arms crossed in front of her. I sighed and sat down in one of the chairs.
“I don’t understand why you’re upset. And I don’t really want to argue with you.”
“Well too fucking bad, Mike!” she said, shocking me into silence. I had never heard her curse before, and I couldn’t remember her ever being angry with me.
“You left me!” she yelled and I sat back as if she’d slapped me. “You left me with my father for ten years! I didn’t know where you were, I didn’t know if you were dead or alive!”
“I’m sorry,” I said, stunned.
“No you’re not. You left me with that horrible man and went on with your life as if I didn’t exist.” She stared at me with tears in her eyes.
“Please don’t cry,” I said as I stood up and walked toward her slowly. “I’m sorry I left. But Erik…your father had just killed Jonathan’s family, and we thought we’d killed Erik, so we had no choice but to leave.”
“Yes you did. You had a choice. You could have taken me with you.” I was in front of her now and the tears were falling freely down her face. I reached up and she flinched so I dropped my hand, defeated.
“You were only sixteen.”
“I loved you!”
Chapter Six: Mila:
I was out of control but I couldn’t stop myself. I had been holding all of it inside for ten long years, all of my anguish and heartache, and who better to take it out on than the man that had caused it all?
“I’m sorry,” he said again, looking at the floor. My heart physically hurt in my chest at his response. He had never told me he loved me back then. Not one time. But still, I had believed it even without the words. His actions had told me he loved me. But now, when he had the perfect opportunity to tell me how he’d felt so long ago, all he could do was apologize. If it was possible, my already broken heart fractured into a million tiny pieces, every jagged edge tearing me up inside.
“You didn’t fight for me,” I said numbly. “You didn’t save me or rescue me. You never came back to me or tried to find out if I was all right. You just went on with your life as if I didn’t exist.” His face was ashen now, as he stared at me like it was all clicking into place for him.
“That’s not true,” he said as he stepped closer and grabbed both of my arms. “About a month after Erik died – well after we thought he died – I went back to the hills,” he said as he stared into my eyes. My heart started beating so loudly that I felt it in my ears as I listened to him, painful hope making my eyes tear again. “I went back,” he said again, softer now. “I saw you and Luca at the river. You were laughing and splashing each other. I watched you for a while. You seemed so happy with your brother, and I thought that your father was dead. Jonathan and I were barely surviving in the city at that point. We were basically homeless. I wanted to take you back with me. That’s why I had come that day. But then I watched you with Luca and I thought of how selfish that would be, to take you away from your family and your home just so you could be with me and live in poverty.” I remembered that day clearly. My father had found Luca and me in the river and beaten us for “misbehaving.”
Oh God, he had come back for me.
My heart felt whole again for the first time in ten years. I wasn’t imagining how he’d felt about me back then. It wasn’t just some girlhood crush that I had blown out of proportion. I reached up and pulled his head down to mine, kissing him hard. He didn’t hesitate to kiss me back, but he was careful not to touch my wounds. I grabbed his hair with both hands and yanked, and he purred low and long and then thrust his erection against me. I moaned and pulled him as close as possib
le, rubbing myself against him.
He leaned down and picked me up, walking quickly into his bedroom and placing me on the bed. My panties were soaked and I was slightly embarrassed. But then he started stripping his clothes off as I watched and I forgot anything else. Every inch of him was delicious; from his handsome face to his sinewy arms and ridged stomach, he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. When he caught my eyes and started to unbutton his pants I felt my clit throb in anticipation.
“I need you,” I said and his pupils dilated. He removed his pants quickly and his erection was intimidating. I didn’t know how to tell him he was my first. My first everything, really. He lay down on the bed beside me and pulled me on top of him, pushing his leg in between mine and kissing me again. Immediately we fell into each other, his tongue stroking mine while his hands unzipped my dress. He pulled it down and away, flipping me over so I was under him now. I wasn’t wearing a bra so I flinched when I felt his chest against my nipples. Heat went straight to my core and I was frantic, grabbing his back and his shoulders and pulling his hair.
“I’m not leaving, baby,” he whispered in my ear and I sighed against him as he ran his hand down my legs and pulled off my sandals one by one, throwing them to the floor. Then he dragged his hand back up my legs and felt the wet cotton covering me.
“You’re so sexy, Mila,” he groaned and then leaned down to kiss my breasts. He caressed them and my back arched off the bed as I moaned. No one had ever touched me like this and I couldn’t imagine a better feeling. Then his tongue was circling my nipple and when he finally sucked me into his mouth, I realized that was a better feeling. He continued to suck as he reached down and pulled off my panties. I grabbed his hand and placed it between my legs, hoping for him to ease the ache there. He laughed softly against my breast and I shuddered from the vibration.
He looked up at me as he ran a finger down my swollen center, and it was so intense I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.