Gabriel didn’t miss a beat. “Although if you prefer the top, that’s okay, too.”
I made a gross sound, falling off him. My breathing was labored. I was tired, after such a short fight. As we got to our feet, my only friend studied me intently. It didn’t take a genius to see how awful in shape I was.
“You doing all right?” For once, he was sincere, and made a whole sentence without making a dirty joke.
I managed to nod, leaning on a nearby tree. “I was in a coma, in case you forgot.” The memory of that awful Demon raced through my brain, and I forced it away.
Gabriel strained a smile. “You were gone for, like, a day. I wouldn’t call that a coma.”
I couldn’t believe him. “Two and a half, which I’m rounding to three.” I pushed off the tree, seeking to walk, but my feet stumbled. Gabriel caught me as I muttered, “All because of your first girlfriend.”
“She wasn’t my girlfriend,” Gabriel referred to his crush as he helped me toward the house. “And if it makes you feel any better, I don’t plan on having a girlfriend for a very long time.” He opened the back door for me.
“Just wait until my first boyfriend,” I joked, sitting on the couch. The blonde sat beside me, our legs touching. “I’m sure one of us will almost die then, too.” I chuckled, stopping only when Gabriel replied.
“I’ll have to check him out, you know. Play the over-protective, semi-jealous guy you’ve known your whole life.” Gabriel smiled. “Wouldn’t it be funny if you started dating me?”
At that, I slapped his chest. “Don’t get any ideas, boy. That will never happen.” And, as far as I knew, it never would. We weren’t exactly normal people, the farthest from it, but dating each other? Seemed a bit…wrong, didn’t it?
A bit weird.
That’s when it fully hit me. I couldn’t keep comparing the two Gabriels. They were not the same. One I grew up with, went through a ton of hard times with, and the other I met a few days ago. Yes, they shared looks, albeit one was older, but that was about it. Where the two diverged, I couldn’t say. All I knew was that they were different.
I traced the wing on the necklace. If they were the same, wouldn’t he had given me the same necklace I already had back home? The two Gabriels were years different, and I had to treat them as such. I couldn’t expect this Gabriel to be the same as mine.
Sighing, I glanced upward to the moon. I was still angry that he lied, but once I separated the two Gabriels in my mind, I knew I didn’t have the right to judge. I didn’t know what he went through since he lost his world’s me.
But just because I didn’t have the right to judge didn’t mean I wasn’t still super pissed.
Because I totally was.
After a while, I spoke, “If you can hear me, if you’re watching like some creep, then…come back. I need you here. I…want you here.” I bit the inside of my cheek, waiting for Gabriel to appear, waiting for a sign. For anything, really. But nothing came. It was simply silence, other than the crickets in the backyard.
I didn’t know why I expected him to come. Turned out, Raphael didn’t know everything. Figured.
I spun to walk back in the house, exhaling, somewhat disappointed. The disappointment faded the instant I ran into Gabriel’s chest. I backed up, recoiling from the shock. With a hand over my heart, I deadpanned, “Thank you for the mini-heart attack.”
“I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered, his head hung low, his blue eyes closed. “I did not think you would want to see me again.”
“I didn’t,” I answered seriously. “But then I realized I can’t hold you to the same standards I hold the Gabriel in my world to. You’re not the same.”
“Yet you want me here? Even after you know who I am?” Gabriel’s azure stare opened, an icy blueness inside them that I’d never before seen. “What I am?” His aged face held not a trace of emotion; I couldn’t tell if he was holding back from me or if he didn’t have any to begin with.
I touched the necklace, tapping the wing. “Go figure that one, right? Even now that I know what you are, that you lied to me, made the others lie to me, I still can’t imagine doing this without you.” I moved to the balcony’s railing, leaning my arms on it. “Does that make me an idiot? Stupid? Am I the biggest moron ever?”
Gabriel’s silence was not the reply I wanted.
I turned so that my back was on the railing, and I stared squarely at him. “Is that what you think of me? It must be. I was so ready to believe anything you said to me. I was blinded by the fact that I’m used to trusting Gabriel one hundred percent.”
“You are not an idiot,” Gabriel finally broke his shroud of silence.
Suddenly I was before him, shoving an angry finger in his chest. Just like my Gabriel, this one’s chest was like a rock. Poking it hurt me more than it did him. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? Why didn’t you come to me instead of lying?”
“If I told you the truth from the start, you—”
I cut in, blunt, “Don’t tell me what I would or would not have done. You don’t know me. I’m not your Kass. Just as you two are different people, we are, too. Do not treat me like you would’ve treated your Kass.” I recalled what Raphael said, adding, “Just because you loved her, does not mean you love me. Whatever happened in the house, whatever you were trying to do…” I referenced the kiss. “…it can’t happen.”
Gabriel studied me for a moment, quietly saying, “Understood.”
Though his reply didn’t sound nearly as wholehearted as I wanted it to.
“And if you’re going to stay here and help us, you have to do just that: help us. No more forcing John and Raphael to lie to me for you. No lying to me at all. If you stay here, you have to help me get back to my world. I have a home to go back to. A home I miss. Gabriel, Michael, Koath and Max. I have a family. It might be strange, but it works. I can’t stay here.”
“If you go back to your world,” Gabriel began.
“I heard it from Raphael. Some things happen no matter what. I’ve had visions of my mom telling me I’m going to die for I don’t know how long. It’s been ingrained into my head that I’m going to die young,” I told him, shaking my head. “I’m not afraid to die.”
“Only the pure,” Gabriel whispered, rubbing the spot where I shoved my finger in his chest, “or the truly evil are not afraid to die. And you are not evil. The farthest from it.” Coming from the Devil, I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not. He reached for my face to cup my cheek, but I backed away.
“See, that—that’s what I’m talking about.”
Gabriel quickly withdrew his hand, apologizing, “Sorry.”
Crossing my arms, I smirked. “How often does the Devil apologize? Because I’m racking them up quick over here.”
“You are the only one worth apologizing to.”
The smirk fell from my face. “Actually, if you’re going to stay, I’m going to make you apologize to two more people. They’re sitting downstairs.”
A hint of the Gabriel I knew surfaced as he moaned, “No.”
“Yes,” I replied, gleefully. I walked past him, into the upper bedroom. “Come on. Let’s get it over with.” Who knew making the Devil grovel and say he was sorry could be so much fun?
Chapter Twenty-Five – John
I couldn’t say I blamed Kass for being upset. Being lied to was never fun or on my list of things to do. I didn’t want to do it; but I couldn’t help it. When the creature that owned your soul told you to do something, you did it. You had no choice. I was just glad it was over. I thought I would have to go on with the lie until…well, until the Devil took a bride to the Underworld.
Did that even happen? Did the Devil ever take women down with him? In Hell, was there physical presence, or was it more a spiritual realm? I had no clue, but I’d find out eventually. I was certain that’s where my soul would go once I met my true death.
After breaking the totem, it was I who went crazy, not Kirk. I was the one who killed woman
after woman, tearing them apart like an animal during sex…creating a bloody scene in the bedroom, leaving Kirk to clean it up and pretend it didn’t happen, that everything was all right. He tried teaching me self-control; it took decades to instill in me what came so naturally for him.
It was not Kirk who deserved to be captured and made a slave to the King and the Queen; it was me. I should’ve been taken. I should’ve been the one in the mask. Not Kirk. Not the good brother.
I sat on the couch, head in my hands, wishing everything was different. Raphael had gone upstairs a few minutes ago to console Kass, leaving me alone to wrestle with my thoughts. To say that I was filled with self-loathing and self-hatred would not be enough.
I hated myself, my past, my entire situation. I wished I could’ve taken Kirk’s place. It could’ve been the one thing I did right in my life. But it was too late. Far too late to change any of that.
Soon, Raphael sat across from me. We’d covered the windows in order to light candles, giving us some form of light other than the silvery glow from the moon. He wiped his hands on his knees, surveying my hunched figure and my weary expression.
“He’s gone on to a better place, John,” Raphael spoke carefully, pausing when I looked up at him.
“He should never have been put in that position to begin with,” I said, bitter. “It was because of me that he was taken in the first place.”
“You should not believe that. It was not your fault. No one could have predicted the Queen’s moves.”
I blinked, grinding my teeth as I thought of her. “I should have. You should have. We all should’ve known.”
Raphael shook his head. “Putting blame on your shoulders will not help.”
“And what would you know about blame?” I questioned, growing irate. Raphael always spoke like he knew everything. Full of wisdom and knowledge. How did he get so knowledgeable? How did he become so chock full of wisdom?
How could he purify a greater Vampire with nothing but his fist?
I knew what he could do, but I did not know how it came to be.
Raphael’s gaze clouded over. “I know a lot about it. More than you know.” He dug in the satchel he brought from the church, tossing something to me. As I caught it and studied it, he said, “I found that journal in Michael’s house the day before…all this happened.”
I traced the ancient leather binding, confused as to why he decided to show this to me now. “And what does this have to do with anything?”
“That journal belonged to someone I loved greatly. She was my first…” Raphael blinked, shaking off his feelings. “…my greatest mistake. I could not believe it when I laid eyes on it in the library. After all these years, to have my mistake remain in writing, it boggles the mind. I still dream of her, sometimes. My sweet Leliana.” His fingers intertwined, and he muttered, “My methods were not always as clean as they were today, and that is something I regret deeply.”
I set the journal on my lap, turning as Kass walked down the stairs, followed shortly by Gabriel. My eyes narrowed. I should’ve known. I jumped up, ready to fight, to end it once and for all, but the look on Kass’s face made me stop.
She held up a hand, saying, “Sit back down. Both of you. Gabriel has something to say, and I want you to hear him out.” Kass pushed the Devil in front of her, her moxie unmatched.
Was it Gabriel speaking, or the Devil?
It didn’t matter. They were one in the same, now.
Gabriel looked to Raphael, and then to me, lingering on me, probably recalling our fight not too long ago. The words we shared, how he had his fingers wrapped around my heart, threatening to yank it out and take my soul.
“I…” Gabriel broke his silence, taking his time with his words. “…am sorry.”
When he said no more, Kass prompted him, “Sorry for what?”
“Sorry for compelling you to lie to Kass.”
“Is that all you have to say?” Kass whispered, nudging him softly.
Sighing, Gabriel added, “I will not compel you to do anything again.”
I couldn’t believe it. The Devil was saying he was sorry? Even Raphael’s mouth was agape in shock. Slowly bringing my gaze away from Raphael, I lifted it to Gabriel, wondering how far he was willing to go to make Kass happy, to gain her forgiveness. I did something I wasn’t proud of: I egged on the Devil.
Not smart, but then again I was never the intelligent one. That title belonged to Kirk, too.
“Are you also sorry for trying to kill me?” I asked, innocent.
The question stunned Kass, for she turned on Gabriel, asking, “You tried to kill John? When?”
“Right before the Nightwalkers attacked,” Gabriel replied, glaring at me.
Kass was lost in thought. “It was your hand that reached out, wasn’t it? God, it makes so much more sense now.”
I clarified, “He was going to take my soul, but decided he’d take Kirk’s instead to make me suffer more.”
Kass wasn’t happy with the revelation, for she frowned at the Devil. “Is this true?”
Gabriel waited a moment before answering, “Yes.”
She said nothing more, only gesturing toward me.
The groan that escaped Gabriel was audible to all those in the room, but he did not argue. He stared squarely at me and said, “I am sorry for trying to kill you, and for attempting to take Kirk’s soul. Kirk was a good man. His soul did not deserve the fate that would’ve awaited him in Hell.”
Kass coughed. Something was clearly missing from that apology.
“And,” Gabriel added, “I will not do it again. You have my word.”
I wanted to see a crack in his façade, I wanted to see a stain on the white armor he currently bared for Kass, but I could not. The Devil was a deceiving beast, and right now, even I was fooled. This apology seemed genuine.
Raphael was stunned, and it took him a while to regain his senses. “Thank you, Gabriel. We appreciate it.” Kind, even to those who didn’t deserve it. He was a model after his creator, wasn’t he?
I, on the other hand, wasn’t so kind.
“Even though the apology is basically coming from Kass,” I chimed in, shrugging as if it were nothing.
Kass stepped in, taking turns to give us each a glare. “All of you will get along. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but we will have a much easier time doing this, finding the staff, if we work together. No fighting. No arguing. Got it?”
All three of us reluctantly nodded, each wondering just what our little foursome was going to do.
I knew one thing, though: Alyssa wasn’t going to enjoy helping the Devil. Then again, she probably wasn’t going to like helping her ex-lover, either.
We were all kinds of screwed up, weren’t we?
Chapter Twenty-Six – Kass
I sat on the couch in the living room, gripping my rose blade tightly. I studied the petals on the hilt, the immaculately carved silver rose at the top. Whoever designed this sword did a spectacular job. By far, it was my favorite weapon, and not just because it was mine.
In a way, it was like me. Pretty and deadly.
My heart beat rapidly, and I nearly jumped out of my skin when the phone rang. I thought it’d be Michael or Raphael, even Gabriel, calling to inform me of their progress. But when I reached the cordless phone sitting on the kitchen counter, I hesitated. Something wasn’t right.
There was a knock on the door. A pounding that echoed in my ears.
My hesitation disappeared. I gathered my strength, my courage, and went to the door, tossing it open to see John. He had his hands in his pockets, looking dour. His dark irises were heavy with emotions I could not describe.
This was getting too familiar.
“What are you doing here?” I said, both annoyed and confused.
“We need to talk” was what he said.
I then did something I never expected myself to do: I said “No” and closed the door in his face. Just as my fingers relaxed on both the lock and my rose
blade, a metal clanging erupted behind me, and I spun to face a metal mask falling down the stairwell.
Bits of gore and flesh stuck to the inside of the mask, oozing out on the hardwood floor. The blood that seeped from it was far more than it should’ve been; soon it coated the entire floor, rising up the walls, defying all laws of gravity. It didn’t stop until even the ceiling was coated in a dark maroon.
It was more blood than I’d ever seen in my entire life, and that was saying something.
There was a commotion deeper in the kitchen. Koath was there, his hands trembling. He and I were the only things not doused completely in blood, but there some dripped from his hands.
“Koath!” I shouted, running to him, dropping my rose blade. “What happened?” I frantically tried to find where his wound was, the source of the blood on his hands, but I found nothing wrong with him.
“Come home,” he whispered, touching my face lightly, the red wetness spreading across my face in the form of a handprint. “Please come home.”
“I’m trying,” I spoke, gazing up into the eyes of the man who was like my father. The closest thing I’d ever known to a parent. It’s why it hurt so much when he left me for England, to go on some secret mission for the Council.
I thought having him back in my life meant everything would go back to normal, the way it was before he left. But he brought Max back with him, and I’d been through too much since he went away to be the same Kass he knew.
“I love you,” he muttered.
It was the first time I’d heard it in years, other than over the phone. My mouth was open, I was ready to say it in return, for it was true, but another woman’s voice rang out through the blood-soaked house.
“Gag me, am I right?” She laughed. “Disgusting displays of affection.”
Koath pulled away from me, backing up and falling to his knees, allowing me to observe the woman standing behind him. She was dressed casually, jeans and a t-shirt, her brown hair curled in a messy way. But there was something about her that was off. Her face was covered in a mask. A fancy, Venetian mask, blue and feathered. It hid every feature, discerning her identity.
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