Claire slowly moved from the door, opening it herself. Her car sat in our driveway, her keys jingling in her pocket. “Okay. If you say so. I know you can handle yourself, but if you go looking for trouble, sometimes you get more than you bargained for.” She left me with that nugget of wisdom as she went to her car and got in. She waved, said “See you at school tomorrow,” and then she drove off, leaving me alone on my front porch.
It’s what I wanted, wasn’t it—to be alone? To not hear about how her date went, to instead wallow in my own pity. Yeah, it’s what I wanted, when I didn’t have Gabriel with me.
I made sure the door to the house was closed and locked, hoping someone would be home when I was finished with today’s session with my good old buddy, and then I started jogging. I had hopes of making it around the block a few times before making my way to Crixis’s door, but for some reason, I grew tired quickly, so after one loop, I was already knocking on Maurice’s door.
A pair of brilliant green eyes answered it, coupled with a smirk I’d grown to abhor with my entire existence. “Good. I was wondering if you’d given up.”
I forced out a smile. “You should know by now that you can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Crixis met my smile with his own grin, a set of white, pearly teeth behind it. “Yes, I suppose I should.” For the first time in a while, he wasn’t wearing one of David’s hideous Hawaiian-printed shirts. He wore a simple black T-shirt, and dark jeans. Both articles of clothing made his tanned, Middle Eastern skin pop.
He was, I realized, devilishly handsome. If I were anyone else, and he wasn’t a murdering psychopath, I’d definitely have a thing for him. But I was me, and he was a killer, so here we were. I would never cross that line, even if Gabriel stayed in a coma forever.
I wasn’t that nuts.
“You’ve tried—” I stepped into the house, tossing him a glimpse over my shoulder. “—how many times now?” I shouldn’t be so smug, for he’d almost succeeded quite a few times already. So what if he was afraid of Gabriel? Gabriel was in a coma. So what if he owed us? He was an ancient being; he didn’t owe anyone anything.
“More times than I care to admit,” Crixis replied.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “To the attic?”
He gave me a nod. “To the attic.”
In the living room, Maurice waved to us, saying, “Have fun—but not too much fun.”
Ick.
My arms grew sore faster than ever. I didn’t even last one chapter through the current book Crixis read: Gone with the Wind. I didn’t even have the strength to flick him off when he made fun of me and my lack of endurance.
He closed the book by bending a page. “You stun me, Purifier. I am serious when I ask: how have you lasted this long against me?”
“Sheer luck, apparently,” I said, miffed, angry at myself for not showing more strength. I rolled my shoulders, raising my hands into fists. One of the whole points in training with Crixis was so I could beat him up whenever I felt like it. And right now, boy—did I feel like it.
Crixis, however, did not raise his fists right away. He simply cocked his head, studying me. “Are you feeling ill?”
“No, I’m fine,” I spat, wanting to fight. I also wanted to sleep, even though I’d just slept for over twelve straight hours, like a log.
“You don’t look good, Kass,” he spoke my name softly, which further enraged me. How dare he speak my name, like that, after everything he’d done to me? He had no right to sound so…
So caring.
“Don’t say my name,” I hissed, practically growling like an animal. “Don’t you say my name! You don’t have the right to say my name! You don’t—” I took a step toward him, wanting to hit him, wanting to hurt him, but I tripped on nothing but air. Strong hands grabbed me before I fell, and it was only due to his steady arms that I did not fall. “Okay,” I admitted, “maybe I don’t feel so hot.”
“You look like, I believe the correct word is, shit.”
I managed a smile, and Crixis was slow to release me. I leaned on the beam behind me, holding my head. “I think I’m getting sick. I didn’t feel good all day yesterday, too.”
“A bit of my blood, and you’ll feel shiny and new.”
My stomach curdled. The very last thing I ever wanted was his blood. I gave him my famous death glare. “I don’t want your blood.” I closed my eyes, resting the side of my head on the wood.
“Don’t say I never offered. It is quite the effective cure-all, I assure you.” Crixis was beside me in an instant, looking down on me with a smirk. “It would bring us closer together. Your boyfriend would love it.”
There were so many things wrong with that.
I shook my head, pushing away from him. I clumsily stormed out of the attic and through the house. I didn’t even say goodbye to Maurice as he shouted about where I was off to in such a hurry.
I made it to the yellow lines of the road between our houses when my vision went black and I lost consciousness.
Chapter Twenty-Five – Crixis
The girl was stubborn. I knew that, of course, after my many dealings with her.
Kass was clearly ill. She had great bags under her eyes, and her flesh was paler than normal. In addition to growing thinner since the battle with my maker, she had grown weaker, in some respects. She was not as strong as she used to be, not physically. Mentally, she was all there. She could still cut anyone down with words.
Sighing, I knew I should probably let her go off and do whatever it was that she did when she ran from her problems, but a nagging suspicion had me follow her. I was on Maurice’s porch when I saw her fall down in the middle of the street.
After tossing a quick glance around to make sure no one was out and watching, I flashed to her side, lifting her effortlessly. She weighed practically nothing, all flesh and bone. In the next minute, I set her down on her bed, careful of her head lolling back. It wasn’t difficult to break into their home. I’d done it many times before.
So many, I’d lost count, in fact.
I rested a hand on her forehead, feeling for a temperature. It wasn’t too hard for me, since my body ran close to a normal human’s. I was not cold like the lesser Vampires. Thanks to Vexillion, I was the exception to many rules.
Her skin, dotted with sweat, did not feel warm. If anything, she felt cold.
I gently lifted her legs and set the thick top blanket over her. For a moment, I lost myself in my past as I stared down at her unmoving, unconscious form. I could hold a hand over her mouth and nose and smother her so easily. She wouldn’t even put up a semblance of a fight. She’d die in her own bed, and her Guardian would come home from the hospital none the wiser. How long would it take him to realize that his other charge lay dead in his house?
An abnormal light caught my eye, and I glanced up to the mirror resting on the dresser, swearing to myself that someone else was here—which was preposterous, because I would’ve heard the approach. Light and brown hair was all I saw, and I was temporarily thrown back in time as I came upon Kass’s mother.
An Angel?
If there were Demons around, it was only probable that other celestial beings weren’t of mankind’s imagination, too. But I still was uncertain. It was a lot to process, and though I lived through the millennia, some things I just couldn’t accept.
I was alone in the room with Kass. There was no one there, no one’s reflection in the mirror. It was, oddly enough, my mind playing tricks on me. My mind was my only ally throughout time. It had failed me once, when Sephira compelled me, before she turned me and for a while afterwards, but after Vexillion’s integration, it never failed me again.
I made my way to the dresser and, since I had nothing but time, I started snooping. I went through her stuff, found two rather expensive-looking necklaces, along with the one that was around Koath’s neck when I tore into him.
The sensation of flesh tearing in my mouth, the rush of blood coursing down my throat, the exhilaration
of watching someone’s eyes widen with realization, loosen with death, and go blank…
Oh, yes. There was no doubt in my mind that I was still a monster. I still wanted to kill. I was only pretending with the Purifier because—because of something. Because of Gabriel and his evil soul. This facade had nothing to do with repaying her for her help with Sephira, and definitely nothing to do with what her mother had told me all those years ago. That’s what I tried to convince myself of.
I wasn’t going to change. I would always be a killer, always love the thrill of the hunt, the excitement of the chase. I did not wish to change, simply because of an obligation. And I certainly did not change for a reason as foolish as fear.
I would not change.
I then found a small book, pictures scattered inside it. Most were of Kass and Gabriel. I shouldn’t have expected anything different. Seeing their faces, chubby and childish, growing up together, laughing and celebrating holidays—it made me feel…wistful. Somewhat jealous. There was a time in my life that above all else I yearned to grow old, have children and watch them grow old and, in turn, have their own children.
Now, I ran from death. I ran from it, when it could only come from one being. A teenage boy, trapped in his destiny.
A bitter feeling rose in my throat.
“Why are you going through my things?” Kass’s voice was weak from the bed, and I saw from her reflection in the mirror that she hadn’t bothered to sit up. “Tell me, at least, that my underwear drawer’s safe from those dirty hands of yours.”
I smirked, setting the picture book down before I turned to face her. “I wouldn’t dream of going in there, unless you begged me to.” I sounded confident, so much surer than I felt.
Kass sent me a frown. “In your dreams, you sicko.”
Hands clutching the edges of the dresser, I made a show of looking all around the room. It was a nice, spacious room, reminding me of the old houses in the early twentieth century, the rich, lavish houses with mahogany walls and hand-carved stairwells and marble statues. “Do you remember all the fun we’ve had in this room?” I asked, grinning as I noted her ticked off expression.
“I remember all the times you tried to kill me,” she said. “Oh, and the time you dumped a bunch of blood on me.”
I laughed. “How’d you know that one was me?”
Her lips pursed. “I put two and two together.”
“What can I say?” I shrugged. “I love playing with my prey.”
“I’m not your prey anymore.”
Looking at her, I was hesitant to agree. Somehow, through a twist of fate, she was not my prey. In all the years I watched her, I never expected it to come to this.
For a few minutes, both of us were silent. I didn’t quite know what to say. I wasn’t good at having amiable conversations. I was only good at killing, and all the things that went with it. Tracking, torture of the physical and mental nature, maiming, planning.
As I thought about leaving, Kass spoke as she struggled to sit, leaning her back and head against the cushiony headboard behind her, “What will I do if he never wakes up?” Her voice, usually full of gusto and strength, whether it was merited or not, was quiet, unsteady. She barely sounded like herself.
Why was she asking that question to me?
I told her what I thought she’d want to hear: “You do not have to worry about that. He will wake, and you’ll have your boyfriend back.” I smirked when she sent me a glare. Her glaring capacities were a lot less impressive when she looked like she was going to pass out. “Nothing will keep him down.” I suddenly had an idea, and I slowly ask, “Did he show any of the same symptoms you now have?”
Kass looked at me like I was crazy.
I supposed I was, in a way. Anyone who’d lived as long as I had was bound to lose their sanity one way or another. The herald of my loss just happened to be a deceiving, beautiful woman who loved to spill blood more than anyone. My world was so small back then, so tiny. I had no idea how many other lands there were, nor the cruelty in their hearts. Sephira shaped me, molded me how she liked, and I couldn’t stop her. If it wasn’t for her, there’s a good chance Koath would still be alive, and Kass could have her family back.
But as for her mother…if she was truly a higher being, well. There was no stopping her leaving.
“It’s a logical question,” I said. “As far as I can remember, I’ve never seen you get sick before. Neither has your boyfriend. And, now, somehow, you’re both sick simultaneously? It just seems a little odd to me.”
She ground her teeth in a very unbefitting way. “I didn’t know you kept that close of a watch on us.”
“You forget, Purifier, that I have nothing but time ahead of me. Keeping watch on two children was not that difficult.”
Kass finally answered me, “No. He didn’t have any symptoms. We were at school, at lunch, and he…” Her voice trailed off, and I knew she mentally relived the moments leading up to Gabriel’s coma. Unpleasant memories that would, undoubtedly, stick around for a while. “He just collapsed.”
A young, healthy boy collapsing out of the blue? It sounded far-fetched, and yet that was all I had to go on. Not that I was going to play Sherlock Holmes. I didn’t care enough to investigate.
“Was he struck the period before in gym class?”
She shook her head. “Seniors don’t have to take gym, and I’m going to assume that he wasn’t smacked on the head or anything in any of his other classes.” Kass buried her face in her hands. “I hate this. I hate it so much. I hate that I’m here with you and not him.”
I merely smiled. Her insults just slid off me, like they always had. “Perhaps, after he wakes, you’ll use the second chance to tell him the truth.”
That earned me a confused look.
I grimaced as I thought about having to spell it out for her. “Please do not make me say it aloud.”
“Say what aloud? What are you talking about?”
Of course she would play dumb. She knew precisely what I referred to. Still, I found myself begrudgingly muttering, “That you’re in love with the boy.” Never had seven words been more difficult to speak. Never had I wanted to vomit more.
“I—” She swallowed, blinking, feigning ignorance, “I am not. I mean, sure, I love him like family. Like a brother. I grew up with him. But I’m not in love with him—”
In a flash, I was at her bedside, sitting near her, leaning close as I whispered, “You do not love him like a brother. You want him to hold you, touch you…be intimate with you—” Kass’s evil scowl made me laugh, even as she tried pushing me away. Her strength, like I mentioned, was next to nil, so I didn’t move an inch. Eventually, I straightened myself out as I sighed, still chuckling to myself. “It is amazing to think that neither of you have made a move on each other yet.”
Behind her hazel stare, I could see her mind calculating, going over all their past interactions, wondering if she’d missed it. “No. You’re…you’re wrong.”
“I’m not. I’ve been around long enough to know what love looks like.”
Kass snickered, trying to twist it back on me. “How would you know what love looks like? How can you know what it looks like when you don’t even know what it feels like?”
“On the contrary, little Purifier, I did love one woman. It was years ago, and the hole in me is full of rage and blood, but I have known it.” Why did I argue with her? It was pointless, useless.
With a knowing twinkle in her eye, Kass asked, “And would she still love you if she knew all the things you’ve done?” It was a moment before she added, “Probably not. No one could love a monster like you.”
My hands clenched into fists, and violent images flashed in my head—the things I could do to her to make her regret speaking those words—but I held back. Barely.
I stood and meandered to the window, lifting it open. “Unlike you,” I said, glancing back at the Purifier on the bed, “I don’t need to be loved to be whole.” I didn’t give her the satisfact
ion of a response. Instead, I flashed away, back in Maurice’s house within a second.
She hated me, of course. I had done terrible things to her. I didn’t seek repentance. Kass had every right to say all those things and more to me. That said, I still did not enjoy hearing them, I did not like letting the child think she had the upper hand. When it came to morality, sure, she could have that upper hand. But power? Strength? Eternal life? All those belonged to me. Who was she to say those things to me?
She was no one. She was nothing. She was just a Purifier who bit off more than she could chew. She was worthless.
I stood in David’s room, slamming the door shut, ignoring Maurice’s concerned questioning downstairs. I should leave. I should just go and let whatever will happen, happen. I should leave Gabriel and Kass to their own devices and see how far they get.
But…I knew I wouldn’t go anywhere. I would stay and hate myself for it.
Within the next instant, my fist was through the plaster. My teeth bared, my eyes were red for only a moment, before they returned to their green hue. It had been too long since my last kill. Vexillion itched beneath the surface of my skin, wanting to break free and wreak havoc. It was what Vexillion was good at. It was why I turned to it while under Sephira’s thumb. Vexillion was the only reason I stood where I did, the only reason Sephira did not go to conquer the world.
And conquer, she would’ve.
I owed Vexillion everything and killing—something I quite enjoyed—for it wasn’t a steep price. It was rather cheap. It was fun.
“You will not go out and kill simply to relieve the stress you have brought upon yourself.”
That…was definitely not my voice.
I was quick to yank my hand from the wall, ready to fight whoever had snuck up on me—a feat, certainly, but one that would foreshadow the death of its doer. But, somehow, I no longer stood in David’s room. I was in the room where I planned on killing Kass’s mother, the room where she disappeared.
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