by Aubrey Cara
Hands. They grab me. Touch me.
Voices tell me to calm.
“No!” My screams rip from my throat, hoarse and jagged, as I fight the hands trying to hold me down.
There is a stinging pain at my neck.
Oblivion takes me once more.
**
Voices around me. Deep and masculine. One gruff, the other more rolling. They seem to be arguing. I don’t recognize their language. It’s not English or German, so I don’t understand them.
For a bit, I drift, listening to them argue.
Jonah would call me lazy for lying about. But he could always find something to criticize. It is a husband’s duty to discipline his wife with a loving hand, but there was nothing loving about Jonah.
The last time, he bruised me so badly, I knew if I stayed he’d kill me.
At the thoughts of my husband, everything rushes up, threatening to suffocate me.
I left my husband.
He grew embittered and cruel. He wasn’t right in the head. The devil got to him, and possessed his spirit, but no one would believe me. I’d been a stupid girl for marrying him, and an even stupider girl for leaving him. My family turned their backs on me. They had no choice. Had they welcomed me they would have suffered the same fate as I. The colony gave me the choice to repent and go back to my husband or to be unfriedn, shunned.
I did what I thought was right, but my bravery was plain foolishness. I have lost everything. And, worst of all, God has punished me. I woke up in a place of horror, too confused to know what happened.
Dear Father in Heaven, I am sorry for my sins. I am sorry I wasn’t strong enough to help my husband. I’m sorry I did not trust you.
“We know you are awake.” His words cut off my prayer.
My eyes snap open and, blessedly, this time I can see. Two sets of crystal-blue eyes stare down at me. The Other and Him. Their eye color is mesmerizingly misplaced in their brown faces. They’re not German or English, but they speak English like Americans.
I lie frozen in place waiting.
Though foreign and dark skinned, they’re uncommonly striking in appearance. And huge. Broad-shouldered, muscular, and wearing black fatigues, like they are military.
I want to ask, but my tongue is as frozen as my body.
Standing on either side of me, they begin releasing me from restraints I didn’t even realize bound me.
“You were going to hurt yourself or roll off the medical pad,” the Other tells me.
The second the bindings are off, I rub my wrists, holding them close to my chest as if that will somehow keep the men away.
“I am Jual,” the Other says. And then he nods toward Him. “He is Situs.”
Situs. I avoid his gaze. I pull my legs tightly together, yanking the hemline of whatever I have on, down.
It’s not enough covering.
I’m too exposed.
“Do you remember anything?” Situs asks.
“No.” I shake my head, wishing that were true. My memory is fragmented, but I still recall enough to make me wish for death.
“You lie.” He frowns down at me. “Why do you lie?”
Jonah’s mother asked me the same thing, but that time I was honest. My honesty means nothing. It changes nothing. “Where are we?” I ask, instead of answering. “Are you taking me home?”
They share a look before Jual answers, “We will soon be on a new planet. One where we can live and hide from the Zapex. Fight, if they come for us. We are safe for now.”
None of this makes sense. Who are the Zapex? Why must we fight? My gaze wanders my surroundings for the first time and lights on a wide window. Outside is the vast night sky like I’ve never seen it before.
“Where are we now?” A prickling of unease snaking down my spine turns into full body shivers.
Jual opens his arms wide. “We are in a shuttle. Like we said before, we are going to claim a new planet for ourselves.”
Staring out the window, I see sights that can’t be true. Huge orbs that should not be there and are certainly not stars. “We’re in space?” I whisper, more to myself, but he answers in the affirmative.
His words buzz and distort in my head.
My chest constricts. My throat closes. I can’t breathe. I wheeze for breath. I’m in space. On a spaceship. I’ve never even been on an airplane.
The men pull me into a sitting position, but I push at their large hands, wiggling from the high bed I’m on. “Don’t touch me.” My legs buckle under me. Strong arms catch me, and I struggle. “Let me go.” I do not want to be touched.
Never again.
I scramble to the wall, leaning heavily against it as I sink down to the floor. I pull the shirt I’m wearing over my knees, tucking my legs against my chest, and try to catch my breath.
Tears are running down my face, but I barely feel them. A cold has settled over me.
Not happening. This is not happening. “I want to go home,” I pant.
Jual comes and crouches down in front of me, the material of his pants straining over his bulging thighs. The thick muscles of his arms and chest bunch and twitch as he rests his elbows on his knees. Everything about him, from the grim set of his face to his large callused hands exudes power and control. My husband labored on the farm, like every other man in our colony, but he wasn’t nearly the size of Jual.
He tries to touch my cheek, but I slap his hand away. He sighs, his expression turning weary. “Earth is over nine months away at hyperdrive speeds, and guarded by the Zapex. Even if you survived the voyage, we would not reach your home planet.”
I shake my head. “You lie.” That can’t be possible. “I’ve been gone a week. Maybe two.” The days have all been jumbled together.
“The Zapex cryogenically froze you for your journey.” Situs stands five feet away, arms crossed over his thick chest, his countenance dark and foreboding. “They only brought you out of stasis to breed you.”
“No.” I continuously shake my head. “Not possible. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. You’re mad. Looney.”
The men share another indecipherable look as I rock back and forth on the floor. They probably think I’m just as crazy. I don’t care, they may think whatever they like.
I draw the shirt up to cover my head. I need darkness back. There is comfort in darkness.
This isn’t happening.
It can’t be happening.
CHAPTER FOUR
HANNAH
Fourteen days on a spacecraft flying around like little green Martian men in outer space, and I no longer can deny I have indeed been taken. The space shuttle we’re in isn’t like anything I’d ever imagine, not that I ever conceive of such things. My fantasies were filled with babies, and a gentle husband. Those dreams never included being stolen by demons and confined to a fourteen by twenty-foot pod. The interior is not cramped, the ceilings tall enough to be at least a foot above the towering men’s heads, but after days with nothing to see but the vast space outside the front windshield, the black walls inside are started to close in.
I’m not sure I believe I’ve been away from the colony for nearly a year. If so, then my family thinks I’m dead. Jonah could possibly already be planning to take another wife. One with whom he’ll likely find as many faults as he did me.
Luckily the men, or Monrok—I’m still unsure what that means—give me space, but eye me like I may shatter into a million pieces any minute. We all sleep on squishy mats, but there are no blankets. I noticed the temperature warmed after I began shivering from cold.
Unfortunately, I’m still not properly covered. The men don’t rest often. They require much less sleep than I do, but on the rare occasions I’ve seen them rest, they rotate their sleep schedule, pulling mats from the wall to sleep on.
Jual made me get up and walk and bathe after three days of being huddled on the floor. He also tries to talk to me. Tell me about things like how our days on planets in the Jun’pn Galaxy are thirty-six hours “cyc
les,” broken down in twelve hour ‘shifts,’ regardless of daylight hours. Some planets get no sun light at all, while other planets never go dark. He sometimes tells me stories I only half believe.
I wish he’d leave me to my misery.
I used their strange cleansing booth they call a bak, but there’s not enough sterilizer on this ship to make me feel clean. Tears well in my eyes, and I sniff them back. If I start crying again, I may never stop.
Even if I get back home, I can’t ever return to the colony. I would have to confess my sins and be forever shunned, an ehebrecher. A hure.
I pray for forgiveness and strength for the millionth time, but I’m not sure if God is listening.
“Come, mate, we will be landing soon.” Jual ushers me over, his features gentle. Hopeful.
A darkness hangs heavy on my shoulders and has infiltrated the fabric of my being. Its weight pulls on my limbs as I struggle to make myself move from my mat. The men are always referring to me as “mate,” and trying to touch me. At least Jual does. Even now when I draw up to the front control panel Jual tries to draw an arm around me but I side-step, turning away from the disappointment on his face.
Situs watches me, and like usual he always keeps his distance, and his hands to himself.
His remorse for what he did is a palpable thing, though now I understand it wasn’t his fault. The Zapex drugged him the same way they drugged me, because Prince Kaihan, their leader wanted to “breed” humans for slaves.
Slaves. I shudder. That’s what I was to become.
Jual explained this while Situs stares at the point far over my shoulder, and I pretended I didn’t know what he was talking about. They say the prince is dead now, and we are free. I don’t feel very free. Right now, I’m numb. The memory, the pain, they are dull. I wasn’t fully awake.
I know I fought. I know I screamed, and can sometimes recall the weight of him pressing me down, but I was a spectator at the window. It comes to me in flashes like something that happened to someone else, but I know it happened to me.
I still haven’t reconciled what occurred between us. I try not to think of it at all. It’s only when I’m asleep that those nightmare memories rise, morphing into my confusing fever dreams of longing and pleasure so acute it’s painful.
Terror mashes with wanting in a sick twist.
Unbidden, I recall the feel of their mouths against me. The way their hair felt gripped in my hands as I held them to me and rode out my pleasure.
Heat spreads through me, part mortification, part something else, even as my stomach cramps in horror. I fix my gaze out the window, trying not to be sick and not daring to look at either of the men. The last time my thoughts wandered to those carnal memories, I chanced to glance up. As if they knew my thoughts had traveled a sinful path, both men sported erections, visible even through the thick material of their militia style pants.
I cried the first time it happened. They didn’t come near me then, and they don’t draw closer now. Situs promised they wouldn’t touch me in that manner until I ask them to.
As if I ever would.
They stand on either side of me at the window, and I wish they’d step back. It’s suffocating with them towering beside me so close it’s like being squeezed between two walls, and fight the urge to move away. I was always the tallest girl at my colony, often times as tall as the males, but these men rise head and shoulders above me.
The back of my neck prickles like I’m being watched. I glance up and Situs’s gaze darts away. His guilt and never ending concern for my well-being is confusing. He doesn’t try to draw me out as Jual does, but I can’t help but think we’re connected. Sometimes, I swear he knows what I’m thinking.
It took me a few days with them before I came to trust they wouldn’t hurt me. I still instinctively flinch away if they’re too near and move too fast. Strangely, I believe I’m relatively safe with them. For now. A calmness surrounds them that Jonah never possessed. He crackled with a certain energy I once found exciting but learned to fear.
We’ve been watching the planet Kadeema get closer for days now. It’s enormous from out here. The first day, we could see other planets, three moons and, in the far distance, two blazing suns. We’re so close to Kadeema now, the other planets and moons are no longer visible.
The men are discussing something in a language I don’t understand. Sometimes they speak in English or German, possibly hoping I will participate. Maybe so I don’t feel left out. Either way, I tune them out and try to ignore their presence as best as I am able to ignore two huge, ineradicable men.
Seats rise up behind us, wondrous things that hover. Everything on this spaceship is like that.
Situs sits in one seat, and I ease into the other, covertly swinging my feet under the chair to see if I can feel air current or wires. I lightly bounce in my seat, but it doesn’t move. I catch Situs watching me curiously from the corner of his eye and blush. Eyes forward, I cross my ankles and fist my hands in my lap, sitting properly and motionless.
Jual works at the nonsensical control panel. He taps on screens that appear out of thin air, pushing invisible buttons. When finished, he turns, casually plucks me out of my seat, and sets me on his lap, a big proprietary hand at my hip. My face flames, and my body goes stiff. As if his overly familiar touch wasn’t mortifying enough, he has an erection.
My heart pounds in my chest, and I struggle for breath.
“Breathe.” His deep demand is a light rumble near my ear. Something in me rushes to obey. I frantically suck in air.
My body unfreezes long enough to try to push away, but his arm snakes around my waist, holding me in place. “Beruhige dich. Du hast nichts zu befürchten.” Calm yourself. You have nothing to fear, he tells me. “No one is going to hurt you.” His voice is earnest.
Hearing his commanding voice in my native tongue makes me want to obey.
Situs’s eyes narrow in silent rebuke, and I somehow know he’d make Jual release me if I asked him to.
Amazingly, with his watchful gaze locked on mine, I calm. Maybe it’s knowing I have his protection. Jual is relaxed and steady, so sure but unyielding, and I realize I have nothing to be afraid of.
I want to shy away, but let him hold me in place, trying to take steady, even breaths. He makes no move to touch me more intimately. I swallow down the rising panic, forcing myself to relax in minuscule degrees, and gaze in amazement as we rush forward headlong into the planet.
The pressure in the shuttle immediately changes as we enter this world’s atmosphere. It’s heavy, and pulling. My belly flips as we rush past clouds in our downward flight. I clutch onto Jual’s arm at my waist, fighting back a squeal at the falling sensation. My breath catches in my chest as we grow ever closer to the ground. The land is a lush patchwork of green fields and forests. Darker twisty lines cut through the landscape, and as we descend, I realize they’re rivers.
It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.
A scream catches in my throat as the land rushes up to meet us and we stop dead, the bottom of our ship even with the ground. A blue beam of light shoots from the front our ship, slicing into the earth. Situs’s hands move over the control pad.
“What is he doing?” Heart hammering, I force myself to release my death grip on Jual’s arm.
Other Monrok I hadn’t noticed before stand in the distance.
“He is lifting the grass here and will make a divot for our shuttle to rest in. Our cloaking device uses energy and cannot be left on all the time, so we must make our shuttle invisible other ways. We will take the slice of earth and cover our vessel. From the sky, all you’ll see is meadow.”
A perfectly cut rectangle patch of grass, roots, and soil rises in the air and is moved back and set down behind the new dirt patch. Situs is doing this all from the ship like it’s some fancy farming gig.
I wonder how quickly this thing could till a field.
He points to a slope I can barely make out in the distance. “Tha
t is a smaller shuttle, but it will appear the same.”
When our shuttle shifts and swings around, I grip onto the arm rests at the sudden movement. Our space craft rocks slightly as it settles to the ground.
“The air here is nitrogen rich. More so than on Earth,” Situs warns, rising from his seat. “We may have to create a compound to help you adjust. Until then, you may feel sluggish if you are outside for extended periods of time.” He stares at me from the hatch for an unreadable moment, his disarmingly handsome face usually painted in a blank mask, turns stern and unyielding. “You must stay near us at all times. Much may seem like your Earth, but it is not. And there are unmated Monrok who will covet you.”
Jual stands and sets me on my feet. “Open the hatch and let her see a bit of the world we have claimed.” At the chiding note in his voice, Situs’s expression softens by the barest of increments.
The fresh scent of sweet grass rushes in on a breeze and wraps around me when the hatch opens.
Giddy curiosity bubbles up inside me. I step forward before I can think better of it, crowding into Situs’s space to view outside. Rolling green fields with little white and yellow flowers bordered by forest greet me. The sky is such a brilliant blue it nearly hurts my eyes.
I cover my mouth in awe of the beauty of this place, tears of joy stinging my eyes.
A handful of Monrok dot the area, their severe black militia attire drastically out of place in a landscape so pure, but even their presence cannot ruin this moment.
Stepping down out of the shuttle, I stifle a mad giggle at the feel of grass between my toes. My heart sings in my chest. I breathe deep, until my lungs are near bursting with the glorious fresh air.
I’m tempted to fall to my knees and kiss the ground. Floating in space for days, I never thought I’d see it again.
“Welcome to your new world, my precious mate,” Situs says, his voice thick with emotion. He lightly strokes my head and strides away before I can react. It’s the closest he’s come to me since I first woke on the shuttle days ago.