by Aubrey Cara
Always nearby, he helps me till my garden. Follows me when I take walks and explore. I talk to him, chatting away, but he’s always silent. Watchful.
Jual doesn’t talk much either, but at least he engages. Answers my questions. Asks me questions that make me think. I’m drawn to both men but feel much closer to him.
I discovered there’s a panel on the men’s left arm they can open and project pictures and holograms from. Sometimes Jual shows me “vids” of their moon planet, Mehcad, and the strange animals they grew up with. When he’s finished with the picture display, the panel seamlessly closes, like it was never there. He let me spend at least ten minutes touching the open panel on his forearm. The skin feels so real, and he says it’s because it is real skin, just different from my rudimentary human flesh. I’m not sure what that means. Living with these men on such a primitive world as Kadeema, it’s easy to forget they’re not human.
I tilt my head back and let the sun heat my face for a moment. If anything good came from the day I ventured out on my own and got my backside roasted, it was this. Being outside in the fresh air. I’m not sure when or how I would have braved the question any other time. I was just so frustrated and alone. I still feel alone, but it’s not as bad.
In some ways, it’s better than living with the colony. Fewer rules and judgments from others. Not for the first time do I wonder if this isn’t my punishment from God, but a mission. Like maybe I was always meant to be here with these men.
I haven’t come across Raina since my lone outing, but we’ve all heard her and her mates. They regularly enjoy the physical aspects of their relationship. Loudly.
My face heats. Allyson sees me blush and the direction I’m staring, and titters. “Lucky girl.”
I give a wan smile because she is the only source of female companionship I have, and I’m also secretly embarrassed I don’t copulate with my mates. Allyson obviously greatly enjoys the physical aspects of her union with her husbands, and I’m not sure she would understand. Plus, it’s probably best no one know we still haven’t consummated our union.
Even though Jual and Situs have not been challenged again, I’m still afraid one of the single Monrok will steal me and demand what Situs and Jual have graciously not forced from me. More than once, I’ve caught eyes, not belonging to my mates, tracking me like prey. Luckily Situs or Jual have always been nearby and ward them off.
My mates have been patiently holding out for me to offer myself to them. I’ve seen their heated glances. I know what they want from me. Or at least what Jual wants. The men give me space, but I’ve begun longing for more than just their comfort.
I sometimes lie on my mat awake, their even breathing in the background, and remember the feeling of their mouths on me when I was drugged. Hear Jual’s salacious musings in my mind. They both have full beards now. Beards they grew for me to show they are my husbands, and I wonder how they will feel against my bare flesh.
Jonah would sometimes lick me down there to get me wet enough he wouldn’t hurt me, but I never experienced the overwhelming, all-consuming rush I did with Situs and Jual. And the feel of Jonah’s beard on my thighs was a bit irritating. Scratchy.
Not for the first time do I wonder what it would be like for Jual and Situs to intimately kiss me there again. Would I enjoy it even though I’m not drugged? Will the rasp of their beards hurt my bare sex?
My thoughts stutter. Allyson is watching me with a peculiar grin, as if she knows where my thoughts have wandered.
“Can Situs and I walk you back to your shuttle?” I ask.
Allyson giggles, a light tinkling sound as she sets the stack of leather blankets and furs down. “No, one of my guys will be along shortly.” She leans up against our shuttle mound and plucks at the grass. “You know, Cal said once the sensors are in place, they’re going to start building homes. Like real ones.”
Monrok all over the globe have been setting up devices so they’ll be alerted through their internal sensors if anyone enters our airspace. Having them in place and working will be a huge relief to all the men. Since we got here, they have been constantly looking to the sky. Our time outside for me is liberating, but the men are on constant guard, waiting.
“They have no tools, but they’re going to build houses?” I say, somewhat incredulous how they’ll accomplish this, but the idea they plan to build houses warms me, even as I experience a pang of hurt that Situs and Jual have never discussed these sorts of things with me. These men have never known homes, or permanence. I’m glad they are creating it for themselves, but wonder what else has been going on my men have not told me about.
“I think they might actually have the tools, you know…inside them,” she says. “Like living, breathing Swiss army knives.”
“Why am I not surprised?” I’ve found the Monroks are extraordinarily advanced. They’re like Boy Scouts, rocket scientists, and Navy SEALs all rolled into one. What they’ve already done is nothing short of amazing.
Outside of making our shuttles blend seamlessly into the landscape, foraging food, and starting underground safety tunnels in case of an attack, they’ve already built an arsenal from spare parts from the giant ship the Monrok commandeered after they rebelled and killed the owner, Prince Kaihan. They use things like their homemade spears to go hunting, yet I know they can kill with their internal weapons. I saw the strange blasts Situs used to kill that huge beast in the woods.
“I’m hoping for indoor plumbing and a bathtub,” she says, yanking me out of my thoughts.
I groan at the thought of taking a hot bath. “I miss bathtubs and running water.” And cushy beds. And pillows. Even in the colony, we had many more creature comforts than we do here.
I don’t really care for using the bak, which mists you with a harsh disinfectant and oil, and bathing in the cold, shallow parts of the river while Jual or Situs stand guard is not something I’d miss given indoor plumbing. Back home, cold baths were a form of punishment. Here, they’re standard practice.
I imagine it’s even harder for a girl who lived out in the modern world. “Do you ever think about going home?”
She shrugs a shoulder before shaking her head then looks to the sky for a moment. “Human kind might not know it, but Earth’s not the safest place right now. And I’d rather be wherever my guys are.” In an absentminded gesture, her hand covers her lower curve of her stomach, and I wonder if she’s pregnant.
I clench my hands to keep from touching my own abdomen. Situs still watches me, and I don’t know how he’d feel if he knew my suspicions.
From the way he holds himself apart from me, he may consider a baby the biggest reminder of what he did. If I am right, his child may be growing inside me right now. Hope blossoms in my chest at the idea of being pregnant. No matter how it was conceived, a baby would be the greatest of blessings.
I try to block out Jonah’s voice in my head, calmly telling me I was the reason God didn’t give us a child. Sometimes the excuse for his rage would be because he had to beat the sins out of me.
By his logic, it may have finally worked.
A vindictive part of me wishes he were here for when I grow large with my new husband’s child. For him to know there is nothing wrong with me, and he can never hurt me again. But shame immediately niggles me for my spiteful thoughts. It’s likely Jonah had an illness of the mind, and I pity any new woman he’s taken to wife. When he came after me, it was never for a logical reason.
Also, I could be wrong and have just skipped my monthly time, but a baby—
“I’m kind of starting to feel like this is home,” Allyson says, cutting off my musings. She sounds so content and certain when she says it, I’m once again stabbed with a bit of envy. I want that same contentment for me and my mates.
I squint, raising a hand to block the sun’s rays. The warmth feels good, but my fair skin is probably starting to pinken.
The men have mentioned we’re in summer, and I’m thankful how mild the temperatures are. There a
re two suns, three moons—one so close you see it during the day, as well as at night—and two hemispheres. I’ve never been to the other, but I understand it’s much like rainforests on Earth. Ironically, I’ve never been there either.
I smile to myself. I’m the girl who has never been around the world but now lives on another planet. I wonder if I’ll ever travel around this world. I don’t think I’d mind much if we never left the bucolic gentle hills and forests of our area.
“Well,” I say, “if one ignores the fly-like insects that glow blue”—I swat at the bright blue-and-orange fly in question— “bird sized butterfly creatures, and the horrifyingly frightening animals, you could almost pretend it’s like an unpopulated Earth.”
Allyson snorts a laugh. “Also, we’d have to ignore the fact we’re dressed like extras in some Conan the Barbarian movie in all this leather.”
I lean in and whisper conspiratorially, “I never thought I’d miss having to sew my own clothes out of bargain bin cloth.” Which draws another laugh from her. I smile, feeling lighter than I have in ages. Maybe I could be as content as Allyson here on Kadeema.
Maybe, with time, I could have with my mates what she has with hers.
I spot Jual coming over the rise along with Allyson’s mate—I have no idea which one—and nudge her with my elbow, pointing my chin in their direction.
“Ahh, there’s Kein now,” she says, and I’m baffled by how she can tell them apart. She hurries to pick up her bundle of blankets, and we stroll across the meadow to meet the men.
Kein wears a fierce scowl as he approaches, and I fight the urge to pull her back and shield her from him. I know my men would never hurt me the way Jonah used to. Even when Situs and Jual have spanked me it’s been done with care, hurting my pride far worse than my person. I don’t know Allyson’s mates that well.
But my worry is for naught. She blissfully strolls to him and holds up the blankets. He shakes his head as they have some weird, wordless conversation.
“You are in trouble, my naughty little zepka,” he says turning her around. He lifts the back of her homemade leather skirt that’s much shorter than mine, and pops her one on the bottom. Right there in front of us.
Part of me is horrified even as I warm uncomfortably in reaction to the display.
Allyson meets my shocked gaze and winks. Her lips are pulled into a smirk, a clear indication she’s pleased with herself and has gotten whatever outcome she hoped for.
Kein takes the mound of blankets as they walk away, and I can see a faint red outline of his handprint on the bottom of her cheek where her skirt hasn’t been pulled down all the way.
Heat spreads from my chest and up to my face, as an answering warmth unfurls down below. My bottom tingles in haunted remembrance of the spankings I’ve received. My gaze moves to Jual who was also been watching the exchange. He’s frowning in their direction, and I can’t help notice the impressive erection outlined in his pants.
Even though I see it every morning when he marks me, I suck in a breath at the sight, and the tiny action turns his attention to me.
Body tense, he gives me a penetrating stare, his brow furrowed in what I can only interpret as frustration then storms past me. I have no idea what has caused his anger, but I can guess. He desires what I’m not sure if I can give, and I once again hear Jonah’s voice in my head telling me of all my failing, and my own voice tells me maybe I don’t deserve the happiness Allyson has found here. I know it’s wrong. Completely irrational, even. But I suddenly feel inadequate in every way.
My throat tightens, and my eyes sting. I haven’t cried in days. I thought I was all done with tears.
I thought wrong.
JUAL
The second I leave, I scent Hannah’s anguish. It makes me halt in my tracks, suddenly furious. I stomp back over to her. I do not need to turn her around to know she is crying. The salty scent is familiar to me.
“You are my mate.” I thump my chest. “Mine.” Even if I have yet to mate her. I have held back with the foolish hope she will come to me when she is ready. “How dare you become aroused for another Monrok,” I rage. “Are you sorry he is already mated?”
I can feel the shock rippling through her. “What are you talking about?”
“I could scent your arousal. He likely could, too. It rolled off you as surely it did his own mate.”
With a scowl, she storms past me, stomping all the way back to the shuttle. I scent her anger, embarrassment, frustration, but no guilt.
My senseless anger deflates, but my guts are still clenched with an unfamiliar sensation I am powerless to stop.
I can accept when her mating instinct is awakened by Situs, he is my mating partner, and her mate, but the thought she has been holding back because she desires another… My thoughts haze with rage, and my cybernetics work to calm me.
Grinding my teeth in frustration, I track her steps. Every day, when I mark her, the scent of her arousal taunts me. Begs me to take more. When I strip for her, she worships me with hungry eyes, taking in every inch of sculpted muscle over my body. Her heart rate accelerates. Her lithe body flushes with want.
I keep waiting for her to tell me she’s ready, but she seems content with the way things are.
It is now beyond torturous.
Situs shoots a concerned glance our way, and I want to blast him. This is all his fault, and he has been doing nothing to help things along. The air practically crackles with tension anytime he is near our mate. He may enjoy his self-flagellation, but I am not of masochistic nature.
I find her sprawled on her mat, her face buried in her folded arms, crying. She does this some nights when bad dreams wake her, and it eats at me. I, one of the most formidable beings in the universe, am powerless to fix this one small human.
I flop down on her mat beside her and move in close, tired of holding myself back from touching her. “I do not understand you, mate.” I stroke the hair back from her face, but she still remains hidden from me. “I can feel you longing for something I do not understand. It is the same when Situs scuttles away from you. You have but to ask us for anything, and we would give it to you.”
She stops crying while I am talking and finally looks at me. Her feelings of longing are back. As well as an indecipherable emotion.
Pushing away, she stands and peers down on me, as vulnerable as if she were under me. I try not to recall the last time she was under me as I marked her, but my cock twitches.
“I would like a hug,” she says shyly. “And an apology.” She says the later with more confidence. “You accused me of something that wasn’t very nice.”
I come to my feet in front of her and fold my arms around her. I squeeze.
“Not so tight,” she squeaks.
I drop my arms.
She swallows and puts her arms around me in a light but secure hold, her head resting on my chest. “Like this.” Though she is much taller than Kein and Cal’s female, the top of her head barely reaches my shoulder.
Raising my arms, I try the hug once again. She grips me a little bit tighter, and I feel her emotions flare. Her heart starts a wild beat in her chest.
She enjoys this.
Her slender body is soft and pliant against mine, my cock cushioned against her belly. I also enjoy this. Sighing in contentment, I rest my cheek on her hair. Unbidden, my lifebringer pulses to attention as it always does when she is near, but I do not let her pull away, and she settles.
“Now, why must I express my remorse?”
One of her hands comes around to lie on my chest, and she plucks at the material of my shirt. “I was not aroused by Kein.”
“But I scented you.”
“It was his intimate actions…with his mate.” She shyly admits this, her face still tucked on my chest. “It embarrassed me, but I guess it did other things also. I don’t know why my body reacted the way it did.”
I do. She felt that craving for more the same way I did at the sight of Kein admonishing his mate. S
he is aroused not only by being punished but by seeing her friend admonished. The scent of her arousal rises up between us now and hope swells in my chest.
I let my hands glide up and down her back, tangling in the wispy strands of her hair. “Does their female know we have not properly mated?”
“No,” she says, shaking her head.
“Good.” Although, it’s not the female or mated Monrok that concern me. It’s the other Monroks whose eyes narrow with suspicion as they hover at the outskirts of our site, that I worry about. They sniff the air and watch our interactions with too much knowing. “The longer you stay unmated, the harder it is for us to protect you.”
The planet is now crawling with unmated Monrok, and while they are my brethren, not all hold scruples. If they knew we had not officially claimed her, and she was not carrying our young, they would not hesitate to take her for their own, willing or not.
Every morning I mark her in fear the single Monrok will discover our farce, but I also do so longing for her to fully accept Situs’ and my claim on her. I have never pushed. The moment has not been right. But if she doesn’t submit to our rights to her body soon, I will have to take her whether she is ready or not.
“I know. I’m just scared.” She’s back to plucking at the material of my shirt.
I still her hand and lift her chin, waiting for her eyes to meet mine. “I will not harm you.”
“I know you—neither of you—will hurt me.” Her gaze skitters away. “I’m afraid I’ll panic, and you won’t stop.” Her pulse quickens as she lifts her eyes back to mine. “Would you stop?”
“We may get to a point I cannot,” I answer honestly.
“Oh.” I feel her disappointment.
“Our cocks form a knot when mating, to hold our essence inside you. If that swells, I would not be able to stop,” I explain, but do not add that I will not be able to hold back after I get inside her. I’ve been waiting too long to feel the clutch of her heat milking me.