by Aubrey Cara
Hannah’s lingering scent wafts up to torture me. I should have bathed our combined scents away before coming here.
“Your stench is making me want to go fuck my woman,” Mudah says from behind me. He who always proudly carries the stink of his female.
“You are one to complain.”
He chuckles. “I bathed myself before coming to labor. Our unmated brethren do not deserve the torture.” He grabs my makeshift shovel, eyeing me levelly. Mudah is one of the biggest of all us Monrok, over seven feet tall and packed with hard muscle. “Go cleanse yourself. Maybe rut your female again. You are attacking the dirt as if it were an enemy.”
I release the shovel then stomp down the tunnel to the ladder. Had it been anyone else, I would have punched them in the face, but Mudah is one of the few who could knock me on my ass with one blow.
I know I should go back to the shuttle and face Hannah. Instead, I rinse in the river. Collect water. Hunt for small game. Anything to avoid going back.
Maybe I should have mated her. I am disgusted with myself for being weak and letting fear guide my actions. I am a Monrok. We do not experience normal fear. Not when faced with danger or an enemy. Our cybernetics shut such base reactions down. Fighting with a clear head is what I am good at. Stalking and hunting prey, protecting those weaker from danger is what I was created for.
Dealing with our female, I am at a loss for the first time in my existence. My base desires call for me to take her. Rut into her until I am sated. But the thought sends a chill down my spine. I cannot trust my instincts when I am around her.
The suns set in the west, and the golden moons rise in the eastern sky, just like the rotation on my mate’s home planet, Earth. I wonder if such similarities offer her comfort. She seems to be adapting. Indeed, she is stronger than I ever gave her credit for. In some ways, she is stronger than I, and I am ashamed.
I set up the fire and stones and strip the meat to smoke it. If I have a purpose for being outside, I am not avoiding going in and facing my mate. I tell myself this as I watch the meat and scrape the hides so we may cure the leather.
Once I am done, the suns are beginning to peak over the horizon. The warm glow reminds me of Hannah. Her red-gold hair spread over my chest. I can see her face, her gaze linked to mine as she came and came again. The sounds she makes in pleasure ring in my head, morphing and mixing with her screams of pain.
I head into the woods, haunted by the feel of her body clutched to mine.
The sensors are up all over Kadeema. They are linked to our cybernetics so we all will be alerted to anyone near our planet. We can begin to build homes. Homes modeled after those we were denied on Earth. Homes we would have known had we not been taken at birth and spent our adolescence being ripped apart in labs.
We do not have all the materials for modern dwellings, but there is much a Monrok can do. Given time, we will regain all we were robbed of. I will give something back to our mate she, too, was robbed of.
***
My body has not been this weak since the days when my cybernetics began integrating with my body. I trudge to the river and strip down to wash. After three days and nights of laboring, my body has finally reached exhaustion, but I am pleased with how much I have accomplished in my driving need to exert myself. The foundation has been made, and the walls are up. Cutting and notching logs was the simplest of tasks. I believe the chimney will be more of a challenge. I will begin that after I rest and finish laying out the roof timbers.
Grabbing handfuls of sand off the river floor, I scrub the dirt and grime from my skin, and duck under water to rinse. The current rushes over me, massaging my tired muscles.
We do not let Hannah wash in this part of the river. The water is too fast moving. Her little form would be swept away. Not to mention, the creatures dwelling in the deeper waters could eat her in one bite. I send out electric pulses while bathing to warn them away.
Our mate told us of the fish they catch in Earth’s waters for sustenance. There is nothing living in these waters that would be pleasant, even cooked.
Always, my thoughts turn to Hannah, but for the first time it doesn’t make me ache with frustrated sorrow. There is lightness in my heart, even if my hunger for her has grown deeper now I know I can have her.
She is pleased with the home I am building for her. She came out the first day, her face lighting up with excitement when she saw all the stacks of logs and the foundation I was setting with earth and stone. “You’re building a cabin.” It was more incredulous statement than question. “I want windows,” she said, then walked away, going to her garden.
I did not explain windows would let the cold in, not to mention animals, unless I put glass in. Or that most of the structure will be covered in earth and grass to look like part of the landscape. If she wants windows, then windows she shall have. I search my data for research on the compounds of glass. Maybe I can make some thick enough to keep the cold from seeping in. Otherwise we will just have to endeavor to keep her warm in other ways.
She did not say another word. After tending her garden, she laid out a leather blanket and sat weaving baskets and things from grass while watching me build. Every day, I build. Twice, Jual has wordlessly assisted me after hunting or working in the tunnels, though he is still angry with me.
Hannah gardens then lays out her blanket to craft things, not saying a word. But I can sense her enthusiasm when she watches over my progress. Sometimes her worry peeks through, but mostly she is at peace.
She loves to be outside, and I hate myself for how long we kept her locked in the shuttle. Humans are not meant for sedentary isolation. It is destructive to their mental and physical well-being. No wonder she left the shuttle and nearly got herself killed.
She has blossomed with activity, and I vow never to keep her so isolated again.
Snatching my bundle of clothes from the bank, I rinse the grit from them and then ball them up to carry, putting on only my boots before I make my way back to the shuttle. I do not bother to check the traps or stir the fire that has smoldered down to ashes, but leave those tasks for Jual.
A pleasing woodsy musk of burnt wood mingles with the morning air, and I wonder what it smells like on Earth. Hannah says the wood burning here smells more like what they call incense and herbs. I like it.
The day is new, the suns barely rising when I lay my clothes out to dry on our shuttle mound. There are no other tasks for me to complete. Or at least none I could do without my cybernetics shutting down my system for rest. Monrok do not need much sleep, but even we have a point we cannot push our bodies past. Our backup systems will only keep us functioning if there is danger.
I should go into the shuttle to rest. Standing in front of the hatch, I do not sense an enemy on the other side. Adrenaline for going into battle does not rush through my veins. Nothing holds me back from going in, but still I cannot get my feet to move forward.
Suddenly, the hatch opens, and Jual registers surprise at my appearance in front of him before he shakes his head and storms past me. He has not talked to me since I left, for reasons I do not understand. I would think having our mate all to himself would make him more amiable.
Like a mirage, Hannah appears in the opening. Her hair matches the sunrise, and I imagine she should sport a halo like one of the angels she believes in, she is so pure and perfect. She wears a fur over her shoulders to ward off the morning chill. Her human body experiences hot and cold, due to its limited thermoregulation. It is one of the many reasons I thought her weak, but I am beginning to realize what her body lacks in strength her mind makes up for.
She gasps in surprise as she takes in my naked state, then our eyes meet, and I see determination in her gaze. She walks out of the shuttle to stand in front of me.
“Are you coming back?” she asks.
I nod.
“To stay?”
I nod again, unsure what else to say.
“I’m sorry.” Her gray-green eyes fill with sorrow I wish
to take away. “I’m sorry for driving you away.”
“You did not drive me away. Do not be sorry.” It is I who should be sorry for leaving her, for causing her a moment of sorrow, but the apology sticks in my throat. I do not know how to explain why I stayed away, since I do not understand it myself.
She steps closer until we are toe to toe and I can feel the heat radiating off her body. There is something extra pleasing about her scent in the morning, a warm, musky smell uniquely her. Strangely, I do not detect the scent of Jual’s essence.
She cups my cheek, and I allow myself to lean into her touch. Taking her hand, I move her fingers over my beard and to my lips and then down to my chest to rest over where my heart beats for her. I need her soothing touch. It calms me in a way my cybernetics are not capable of.
“You look tired,” she says. “Come on.” She takes my hand, and I let her lead me into the shuttle. All our mats have been moved together, a mound of blankets covering them. At my hesitation, she gives me a push. “Go on.”
Once I lie down, she goes to work on removing my boots, one and then the other. I do not believe I have ever had anyone perform this task for me. Not any gearan who tended me between surgeries as a child, and certainly not the Zapex doctors and scientist who created me. I wiggle my now liberated toes, feeling off kilter.
She stretches out next to me. “Do you mind I moved the mats together?” she asks, staring at a spot somewhere near my shoulder. “It felt like the right thing to do at the time, but…I’m not sure if Jual likes it.”
I frown over at her. “Why would Jual mind?” This seems to be the sort of thing he would push for. He is always searching for ways to be closer to our mate.
“I, um, I told Jual that I can’t be intimate with him anymore.” At my sharp questioning gaze, she looks away, her cheeks flushing. “It doesn’t feel right, without you.” She squeezes my fingers. “You are both my mates. I can’t…we won’t…until you’re ready.”
She might as well have blasted me. I would be less shocked. This explains why Jual is not speaking to me. I am a selfish hadhr.
Letting my hand go, she scrambles up, clearly ready to leave, but I grab her wrist, staying her. I do not know why she forgives me, or how she could possibly want me after what I did, but I will not cause her or my mating partner any more disharmony.
Sitting up, I raise her skirt, slowly exposing her legs and cunt. I kiss her thighs, one then the other, right at the apex of her sex. Her breath hitches.
“I am not Jual,” I say, hoping she understands I may not please her the way he does.
She gives me a searching look. “I never asked you to be.” She runs her fingers through my hair and the sensation strokes over my body. “I want you, Situs. Just as you are.”
I pull her down over me until her long legs straddle my hips. Her mouth opens in surprise. Her beautiful eyes lock on mine, and I fall into their depths. If I listen closely, I can hear her heartbeat skittering rapidly in her chest. I take her hand and wrap her delicate fingers around my stiff lifebringer. “It is always this way around you.” Hard. Ready. “I have but to think of you to be ready to sink inside your heat.”
She does not take her eyes off me, but her grip tightens and releases as she explores my length. “You don’t have to do this.” Her voice is barely a whisper. I sense her worries and fear. “If you’re not ready.”
She is wrong, I do have to do this. I need to hear her cries of pleasure and know I caused them. I need to see her face as she crests, to feel her tight heat clutching me. I need it to replace the memories of her broken and bleeding.
I cup the back of her neck and bring her lips to mine like I’ve been craving to do since bringing her to this planet. She strokes my bearded jaw, clenches at my shoulders. Her little exploring fingers on my cock runs over the moisture dribbling out, smoothing it down my length. I want her touch on me always.
I let out a groan, caressing her long legs. Holding her steady with one hand, I reach down to her wiry curls, and beyond.
Slick.
The feel of her aroused, for me, is like a direct hit to the solar plexus. My cock jerks and strains in her grip, but it’s not enough. “I need you,” I gasp into her mouth, pushing my fingers inside her where I’m desperate to be. “I need you.”
HANNAH
“You have me.”
At my word, his eyes spark a fiery blue. His exploring fingers pull free of me before I find that elusive crest. I whimper at the denial, as he lifts me by the waist to hover over his cock. Without prompting, I wrap my hand around his length and notch him inside my heat, desperate for more.
The second his head breaches me, he’s pushing me down over him. I was only with Jual once, and I’m still not used to men so big. I pant into his mouth, the stretch robbing me of breath.
The cords of his neck strain, his muscles bunching and rippling like he’s trying to hold back. Be careful. Not hurt me. He grips my hips so tightly I know I’ll bruise, and I think his restraint is on a tethered line that can snap at any second, but he holds himself back...for me.
My channel involuntarily squeezes and flutters as I strain to get accustomed to his girth, and his back arches of the mat, his teeth gritted as he holds himself in check.
Power surges through me to have this indomitable being I’ve longed for, in my thrall, if only for a moment.
I run my hands over the chiseled muscles of his abs and chest, trying to gentle him as I let myself get accustomed to his size, but he has other ideas. He grasps the back of my neck, his fist tangled in my hair, and pulls me down, smashing my mouth to his in a crazed frenzy. He yanks me back, the look in his eyes nearly pained. His hips rotate up like he can’t stand to be still any longer, his hot length jerking inside me.
Sitting up from where I’m sprawled over him pushes him deeper. A mewling cry breaks from my throat as I open the ties on my leather shirt to expose my breast. He reaches up, then stops, and I take his hands and mold them to my breasts, letting him squeeze the needy mounds. His mouth falls open in wonder, before he snaps his teeth closed on a feral groan. His back arches again and I swirl my hips, enjoying the drag of his thick length over my sensitized flesh as much as the way his eyes haze out of focus.
Our gazes lock as I lean forward and graze my tongue over lips and soft beard, shivering with tingles that break something wild and wanton free inside me. Every wicked desire Jual has ever whispered in my ear while marking me plays through my mind, and a part of me wishes he were here, but not enough to stop.
I can’t stop.
My movements at first are hesitant, jerky. I’m not used to being on top, and insecurity eats at me. Just having his hot length stretching me is overwhelming, and I do not want him to be disappointed. Not after having held himself back from me for so long. But need drives me.
As if sensing my distress, Situs takes control. I may be over him, but he dictates every sway and surge of my body, setting a rhythm. His hips slap loudly against mine with every upward snap of his hips, and I can’t contain the little cries and moans bursting out of me, he’s hitting so deep inside me. When he cups my ass, pulling my cheeks apart, and cants my hips, every downward thrust takes my breath and his cock rubs against my clit.
His fingers holding me open trail to where he’s gliding in and out of me then move back to my bottom hole, slicked. I bite my lip, part embarrassed and wanting to grab his hand away, but also wanting to let him explore me any way he wishes.
I am too far gone to care. I am his for the taking, and I no longer fault Eve for tasting the forbidden fruit. I know now she must have been experiencing guilt and decadent freedom in equal measure.
How can something so wrong, feel so good?
He circles my rim, painting me with my own wetness. The sensation zings straight to my clit, and clench down on him. His broad finger pushes into my bottom, and I gasp, the burning stretch sending ripples of pleasure through my body. He pumps his digits and slams up into me, and it’s too much.
/> Crying out, back arched, I crest over, flying.
All my muscles clench tight, squeezing his cock and finger. He growls and grows so large inside me, it becomes hard to move. My core convulses around him in ripples. I cling to his chest, and he begins to tremble underneath me. He’s knotting, I realize, his cock wedging inside me, pressing against a spot that makes me jerk over him in exquisite agony.
He shouts into my neck and pulses deep inside me, so hard I come again and again. Hot slickness gushes and runs down my legs and over his lap, but still his length throbs at my core.
I squeak when he removes his digit from me. His other hand cups my face as he tenderly kisses me and pulls me down with him to lie on his chest. His heartbeat is steady and even, while mine is still galloping in my chest.
His touch achingly tender, he holds me and strokes my back. This moment, I realize, is what I have been longing for from him. “I love you, Situs.” The words tumble out and hang in the air.
He freezes, not saying anything, and I want to call them back. Shrink and hide. The words broke free, as if at their will and not mine. I haven’t even told Jual I love him, and I do. I love them both. I can’t deny that, but now Situs is stiff and still under me, and it’s all my fault.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” A knot of embarrassment forms in my throat. Of course, he doesn’t feel the same. I shouldn’t even feel this way. But I do.
His arms wrap around me, and again I never want to let him go. I’ve never felt so loved as when he holds me, but now I wonder if I’m assuming what I want to believe because it feels good. Am I naive and foolishly kidding myself, thinking he may care?
He strokes my hair. “It matters not if you say it. I can scent your affection, my mate, though I do not deserve it.”