Full On

by Caitlyn Willows

  They needed to talk this out. She had to know how he really felt. If he truly held resentment against her. Doing so would ruin the night though, and she needed the promised sex until the sun shined again more than she could bear.

  “We’re still good.” On the off-chance he didn’t get her meaning, Valerie added, “There’s been no one else.”

  A rush of heat washed from him at Russell’s sharp intake of breath. “No one for me either,” he replied. “When I said exclusive I meant it.”

  Yet she’d allowed another to cause doubt. Enough to shake his trust in her? Valerie wouldn’t be surprised. At least they were even. Not that it made it better. It was going to take baby steps to get back to where they’d been. If Russell wanted that level once more…or if she did.

  What was she thinking? Of course she wanted it. She’d craved everything about Russell every single second these last months. Even, especially, when they faced off in court. And that had taken more courage and determination than she’d ever anticipated. She’d been warned he was formidable. That was an understatement. Russell was damn scary.

  Valerie closed her eyes. God, what had she done? Ruined a damn fine thing in favor of her career. It didn’t matter that he’d made the same choice. Or maybe it did. If truth be told, it was his refusal to recuse himself, his assumptions that she, as his sub, would step aside that made her dig deep in the first place. In reality, either of them stepping aside would have driven a bigger wedge between them than the one they currently faced.

  Baby steps? Or jump in and take a chance?

  Hell, he was the fucking Dom, let him take the lead. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Maybe he already had. Oh, he wouldn’t cross the safeword line, but he’d definitely taken control, and Valerie liked that. A lot. Too much.

  No, never too much. Her heart had ached for him as much as her body. Her soul had cried out for him. Words she’d longed to say had died on the vine the second this case fell in her lap. She wanted the feeling, the connection, the never-ending bond and the heart-bursting love that went with it back.

  Baby steps or leap of faith?

  “Son of a bitch!” He smacked his fist against the steering wheel.

  The outburst, too reminiscent of recent interactions, jumpstarted her heart. Baby steps then. She glanced ahead and spotted news vans parked outside her house. Good reason to curse.

  “Stop the car.”

  “I’m not going to drop you off and run.” Nevertheless, he’d pulled to the curb. So far they hadn’t been detected.

  “You won’t have to.” Valerie fished her phone from her purse and hit speed dial. Bev answered on the first ring. “I’ve changed my mind. Looks like we’ll be needing that cabana after all.”

  Leap of faith. Most definitely and without a doubt. Ending the call, she drew breath to take the next leap.

  Chapter Three

  “I rescind my safeword.”

  Words to empower. She managed to surprise him though, or rather, yet again. He hadn’t expected her to capitulate so easily, had anticipated lengthy seductions night after night before she realized this was one facet of their lives that would never change. It was a blessing and gift Russell wouldn’t abuse. Hours ago he couldn’t have said the same thing.

  She’d given him a lot to think about. He’d let his driving need, his pride, get in the way. Forgotten his role and purpose. Not the way to treat the woman he loved. And god, he loved her. If only he’d said the words instead of showing her with his cock. Nothing says I love you more than a long, hard fuck. The sarcasm perpetually volleyed by his conscience drilled another hole in his stomach.

  “I appreciate you calling me out.” He maneuvered the car into a U-turn away from the reporters. “I was out of line.”

  “Sperm count crowding out the brain cells?”

  Russell laughed. “Despite my hand’s best efforts.” He reached across the console, then pulled her hand to his crotch. “Yours would feel so much better.”

  Valerie let out a soft sigh and traced the ridge of his erection.

  He sucked in a hard breath through his teeth and pressed her hand tighter over his cock. “Damn that feels sweet.”

  “My mouth would feel even sweeter.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” The woman could make a eunuch hard.

  “Maybe later I’ll show you.”

  “Maybe I’ll let you. Until then…” Russell’s mind scrambled through his options while he sliced his zipper open with one hand and drew his erection out. Her thumb smeared pre-cum over his cock head, driving out what little remained of his common sense.

  Driving was impossible. Finding a dark, secluded spot equally so. And with reporters trolling for them… A check in the rearview revealed them clear. Russell turned onto a side street, then another and another until he found what he hoped would be a safe spot where lights were off in all the houses.

  “On second thought, what’s wrong with right now?” he asked as he parked and cut the lights and engine.

  “We’re so going to jail.” Still, Valerie licked a slow path over her lips.

  “That didn’t seem to bother you when I had my hand between your legs.” He pushed his seat back to give her more room. “But then, I was diligent, watchful.”

  “Diligently watching me come.”

  “Guilty as charged. And I’ll probably come just as quickly as you did.”

  “I’m a little out of practice but I’ll do my best.”

  She released her seat belt and closed in. Russell ran his hand down her back to keep from gripping her head and fucking her mouth. He loved that she wasn’t one of those women who waited for a man to do everything. They might have a Dom/sub relationship in some areas, but for the most part they were equals. Hell, equals in that part too since it was something they both wanted. Little did he realize how well they were matched until the courtroom case where she gave as good as she got.

  “Oh god.” Hot lips closed over him. He bucked into her mouth, damning the lack of room, the clothing that confined him. He wanted her fingers wrapped around his balls, her breasts against his thighs, her pussy straddling his leg.

  She looped her tongue around the head, then lashed down the underside in a hard suck he felt to his toes. Valerie wedged her hand between his legs to cup his balls. It frustrated him all the more. He fumbled to loosen his trousers to get her hand right where he wanted. Valerie wasted little time taking advantage of the opening. She dived beneath the waistbands, raked her fingers through his short and curlies, then cupped his aching balls just the way he liked. She nibbled her way to the tip, sucked pre-cum from the slit, then worked her way down to his balls.

  Russell cupped her head and pulled her back. “No time,” he gasped.

  Valerie’s groan vibrated through his cock, adding new levels of pleasure he’d dreamed of for months. She rolled his testicles in her palm, not too soft, not too tight, dividing them, tugging them…milking them. Russell saw stars a split second before her hard suck pulled the cum right out of him. He thrashed under the force it, wondering if he’d ever stop coming. With the third and last spurt he sagged into the seat, gasping for breath, too spent to move.

  She dotted kisses over his penis, his balls, his groin, then helped him right his clothes and dropped a kiss to his lips. Russell pulled her close and deepened the kiss. The taste of himself on her tongue mingled with the remnants of her juices he’d lapped up earlier. Ambrosia.

  He broke off the kiss, burrowed his face against the curve of her neck and kneaded his lips down the length. Her soft moan stirred his cock. He wanted to haul her astride his hips and fuck her until the tires went flat.

  “This was a mistake,” he mumbled.

  Valerie pulled away. A frown creased her forehead. “Why?”

  “Too relaxed to move.”

  She glanced down at his growing erection. “Your friend here would disagree.”

  “My friend has one thing on his mind.”

  Valerie’s grin caught
the streetlight. “Great minds…” She traced a determined path down his torso with her forefinger.

  Russell caught her hand before she could reach her goal. “Playing with fire, hot stuff.”

  “Can’t help it. I like the burn.”

  “Do you now?” He landed a smack against her backside. “Show me how much.”

  Her whimpered groan begged for more. He obliged her with another.

  “Back in your seat like a good girl.”

  She did as he’d ordered, dutifully snapping her seat belt in place…before she lifted her dress to the very edge of indecency and slipped her panties off. Her scent filled his sinuses, clogged his brain.

  “Very good. I’ll take those.” He snatched her panties and stuffed them between his thighs. “Keep your hands on the seat and out of your crotch. Disobey and… Well, I’d hate to have to pull over again to discipline you.”

  “Goodness no. We wouldn’t want that at all.”

  Her voice was breathy, wanting, tempting him. It wasn’t the first time she’d tried to top from the bottom. If he hadn’t wanted this so badly, Russell would have called her on it. Made her wait. But he had needs too and they were going to be fulfilled tonight. Still…

  “Imagine what those reporters would do if they saw you bare-assed over my knee getting a well-deserved spanking. We’re not that far from your house.”

  Valerie’s head whipped around, eyes wide. “You wouldn’t.”

  Grinning, he started the engine. “Keep trying to top me and find out.”

  Disbelief dropped her mouth open. She clamped it shut just as quickly, tucked her arms across her chest, and silently dared him. That’s when Russell pulled the loopy john from his pocket. Her breath hitched at the sight of the braided leather loop. Teeth played with her bottom lip. It was enough of a threat to put her back in her seat, hands obediently on the seat.

  “Good girl.” He raked the tool over her breasts. Her nipples hardened all the more. She pressed her lips tight but tiny gasps escaped anyway. “Are you hard…everywhere?”

  Valerie managed a nod.

  “Show me.”

  She shot a nervous glance out the window, then bunched her dress and parted her thighs. It was impossible to see her pussy in the dark. The scent was enough…almost. He bent across the console, slipped his tongue in her slit and sucked her clitoris between his lips. Valerie cried out and thrust her pelvis higher.

  It’d be so damn easy to lose himself in her pleasure. A risk neither of them could afford to take. Russell reluctantly pulled away, drew her dress down and placed the loopy john across her lap.

  “You taste as sweet as I remember.” He circled his finger around each nipple. Anticipation was the name of the game. The lure, the temptation, the buildup and finally…the execution. A carefully arranged scenario interwoven with the promise of release on all levels. Equal. That’s what the two of them were about. Russell wouldn’t forget it again.

  “You…you were going to use that on me tonight?” The almost-whisper sank through his pores.

  “I was.” Right now he wasn’t proud of his original plan. There was no buildup or finesse about it. No control. He’d lost it the night they’d chosen careers over each other. Apologies and explanations hovered on his lips. Russell forced them back. He needed tonight as much as she did. They could bare their souls later…after they’d bared their bodies.

  “I did.” He flicked the backs of his fingers across her nipples. “Do you need more?” He picked up the leather and wedged the handle between her thighs.

  Valerie gasped. “My…my dress.”

  “Then move it.” He danced the leather over her knee. “Move it and I’ll make you come. Right here. Right now.”

  She bunched her dress. The flash of headlights coming around the corner snapped her hands to her sides and pulled Russell into his seat. Nervous laughter filled the car—his…hers. Six months ago such a thing wouldn’t have fazed them. Yet another thing they’d sacrificed. How much more before they lost each other? He was determined to see that didn’t happen. But Valerie?

  Apologies and explanations lingered once more. He shoved them aside and put the car in gear. He’d show her first. Nothing says I love you more than… He damned his nag of a conscience.

  “Enough distractions. Let’s get to Bev’s—”

  “While the gettin’s good?” Valerie snickered.

  Russell chuckled. “God yes. She’d kill us both if we arrived trailing reporters.”

  “And then some.” Valerie smoothed her dress and returned the loopy john to its original spot across her lap.

  “Lengthwise,” he told her. “Resting between your thighs. The handle kissing your pussy.”

  Slowly she obeyed, then returned her fingers to the seat. The game was in play. He thought of little else during the fifteen minutes of side-street driving to reach Bev Renard’s private resort. Only the threat of making the morning news kept him within the speed limit, otherwise he would have made it in five. He pulled in threads of control with every mile. It was the only thing that kept his hand steady when he swiped his access card at the entrance. Ten-foot iron gates parted on silent hinges. They closed behind him the instant Russell cleared the portal.

  “That sound you hear is my heart pounding.” Valerie’s soft-spoken confession slithered into his veins.

  “And here all this time I thought it was mine.” Filling his cock to bursting.

  “You mean that’s not an echo?” Spoken as if she could barely catch her breath. Russell knew the feeling well.

  “Apparently not.” He brushed his fingers over her thigh as he made the final turn into the cabana drive. Another gate, smaller this time, was opened and waiting to tuck his car inside their haven for the night. Privacy, when wanted, was Bev’s motto and claim to fame. She was discretion personified. Once she learned one of her female clients was stirring trouble outside the safety zone, all hell would break loose.

  Another thought best left alone. This was their time and Russell couldn’t think of a better way to bond again than in their favorite cabana. Well, home would have been better but…

  “It never changes.” Valerie’s attention was on the deeply set wraparound porch flush with flowers and plants. A garden paradise she wanted to reproduce on that future date when she owned her own home. Russell longed to help her fulfill that dream. Had things gone differently six—

  Damn it. Let it go. Focus on here and now. Getting it back was the priority. Failure, not an option. But if his mind kept drifting, if he didn’t get this right… Fear raced his heart now. He’d screwed up once tonight. Doing so a second time would just about guarantee he’d lose her for good. Never had he depended on his Dom skills more…or feared they’d fail him just as much. Her needs, not his. But then…weren’t they one and the same?

  He turned off the car and unhooked his seat belt. “I’ll close the gate and meet you inside.”

  “And this?” Valerie used both hands to point at the device on her lap.

  Russell ran it over her thigh as he retrieved it. A subtle shiver wiggled through her body. “It’s served its purpose…for now.” He stuffed it into his pocket along with her panties, gave her a wink and opened the door in sync with her.

  Her footsteps matched his—she heading to the cabana, he toward the gate. He imagined her inside, stripping to skin and leaving a trail of clothing on her way to the bedroom. Want, hunger and the unrelenting throb of an erection gone feral urged him to hurry. Russell didn’t argue. Lust dimmed when he discovered she’d moved no farther than the front porch.

  A thousand smart-assed remarks danced through his head. He wanted to seize on one to skirt around the obvious—something was wrong. The hell of it was, he had a feeling he knew what that might be.

  “Valerie?”

  She faced him fully when he brushed her hair away from her neck. The too-dim light made it impossible to read her expression. He didn’t have to. He felt it swarming around them.

  “Talk to me, h
oney.”

  “I’m scared.” The words were a hair above a whisper. He’d guessed right.

  “Me too,” he freely admitted.

  “Really?” She pressed her palm to his chest. Russell locked it there in a loose grasp, hoping that bond would be enough. Looks as if they were going to have that talk after all. He pulled her fingers to his lips, kissed them, then drew her hand back to his thudding heart.

  “Really. I let my temper get away from me tonight. I’m sorry. You were right to stop me.”

  Her sigh moved her closer. “I suppose you pissed me off more than scared me. Although there have been times…” Valerie brushed the backs of her fingers over his cheek. “I was doing my job, Russell. It was never personal.”

  “And I respect you for that even though it frustrated the hell out of me.” He wasn’t used to losing. The fact his woman brought him down made the loss extra hard to handle.

  “You thought you could use our relationship to win.”

  Russell huffed out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, I suppose I did. I thought I could intimidate you, rattle you into slipping up.” Instead he was the one who’d faltered. “Didn’t you use your knowledge of me to your favor?”

  Valerie waited so long to answer he thought she wasn’t going to. Maybe it was better that way. “No,” she finally replied. “I used the facts gleaned in the case to defend my client to the best of my ability.”

  The consummate professional. She’d trumped him on that too. Brought him to his knees without even trying. He felt like shit.

  She leaned away from him. “I tried my best to never cross the line between business and personal. But I wasn’t blind, Russell. The tone of your voice, the anger in your eyes, the barbs hurled to the press were like knives cutting up pieces of my heart. In the past when I was faced with such an opponent I could turn to you to help relieve my stress. This time I had no one. So when I heard you’d zipped off to Bev’s I jumped to conclusions I shouldn’t have. I thought I’d lost you. The biggest victory of my life coupled with the biggest loss.”