by A. W. Cross
“Lily got through on the radio. And then—”
“I arrived.” My father came out of the infirmary, packets of gauze in his hands. “Lily’s been trying to contact you since yesterday afternoon, when it happened. Has it not been getting through?”
“Dad? How did you get here? How did you know where we are?” Relief washed over me.
“I followed you. That day we met in the woods. I-I wanted to see where you were, so I could come help you if you were ever in trouble. When Lily couldn’t get an answer— I waited outside until one of you came out.” He nodded at Tor.
“Does anyone else know you’re here?”
“No. I took care. I told them I was going to search for those still missing. I can’t be gone long.”
“I can’t believe he knows where we live.” Kalbir glared at me. “How do we know he hasn’t already told the lot of them? That this isn’t an elaborate plan to take us down, right now? It all seems awfully coincidental.”
“Why would I do that? Ailith is my daughter,” he replied.
“Your cyborg daughter. From what I’ve heard, you weren’t particularly pleased about her becoming one.”
“That has nothing—”
“Kalbir, we have more important things worry about right now,” Lexa snapped.
Kalbir did not look convinced.
“Pax, did you see this coming? Why didn’t you tell us?” Tor asked.
“I didn’t see it coming,” he replied. “I…don’t know why. There were no indications—” His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides.
“Pax, it’s not your fault. You— Pax!”
He fell to his knees, his black eyes wide.
“It’s open. The path is open. It’s another crossroad. Ailith, you have to stay on the path.”
“I don’t know what that means, Pax. I don’t know which path is the right one.” Alarm tightened my throat.
His eyelids flickered then closed. He knelt where he’d fallen, his head bowed, until Fane scooped him up and laid him on the long couch in the corner of the room. As the cushions depressed under his weight, I caught sight of a handful of cookies stashed away in the crevice.
Cindra hurried over to him and laid her hand on his chest. She stood still, absorbing what information she could. “He’s fine. At least, I can’t feel anything.” The relief in her voice was tangible. “He’s asleep.” His eyes darted back and forth under his lids.
“Pax? Can you hear me?”
He was there, but I couldn't reach him. It happened sometimes, when he was unconscious or deeply asleep.
“We’ll be back soon. Don’t be scared.”
“I hate the idea of leaving Pax alone.” I spoke aloud.
“Mil and Callum are here,” Lexa said. “He’ll be fine.”
“No, I’m going to Goldnesse too.” Callum’s voice carried from the dormitory stairs.
Oliver stepped in hastily. “Don’t worry, Callum, we’ve got this—”
“I feel fine. She’s gone quiet. I want to help.”
Oliver glanced at Lexa, but she was talking to Mil and hadn’t heard.
“I’m fine. I promise. Please, let me help.”
“Okay,” Oliver said, his voice slow with reluctance. “But if you start feeling…anything, you let me or Ailith know. Yes?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll stay,” Fane said. “I don’t want to leave, not yet. My face might fall off.” He touched his cheek gingerly. “Besides, Pax is my friend.”
“Thank you. I mean it,” I said. “I feel better knowing you’ll be here.”
He smiled.
The luster of gold. A blue ribbon, pinned to a chest.
“Then I’ll stay as long as you need me.”
“Oh, would somebody please just kill me before I gag to death.” Out the corner of my eye, I saw Cindra dig her elbow into Oliver’s ribs.
We filed out of the compound, my father’s face grim.
“Pax?” Still nothing. It didn’t feel quite like the other times, but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why.
My last sight before Mil closed the door behind us was of Fane, dirt smeared across the planes of his stomach, his hand raised in farewell.
Eyes wide in the dark. A shadow on the wall. A drop of blood on the back of my hand.
***
The main street of Goldnesse was deserted when we arrived. We waved my father off and made a beeline for the former casino at the far end, where the infirmary and apartments were. Inside was chaos. The dozen or so beds the infirmary held were occupied by children, two to a bed, while the rest of the injured clustered on the floor on whatever makeshift bedding they could find. Lily and her daughter, Grace, hurried from patient to patient, checking temperatures and administering draughts and injections.
Lily saw us and rushed over, her face pale under the flush of exertion. “Thank goodness you’re here. We need all the help we can get.” She tore the pack from Lexa’s hands and rifled through it. “Good, thank you. We’ll need every bit of this.”
“What can we do?” Lexa asked.
“First, take off your coats and roll up your sleeves. I’m going to give you all an injection.”
Each of us froze in various stages of undress.
“Why, Lily? I mean, look at us. We’re fine.” Cindra smiled to show just how fine we really were.
Lily gave each of us a cursory examination. “You look well,” she said, “though I shouldn’t be surprised. The silver rain wouldn’t affect you the same way it does us.”
“What do you mean?” Lexa asked. I was glad she had; I doubted I’d have been able to speak past the sudden lump of fear in my throat.
“How do we know he hasn’t already told the whole lot of them? How do you know this isn’t an elaborate plan to take us down?” I didn’t dare look at Kalbir.
“Because your research compound is practically underground, isn’t it?” Her voice was rapid with relief. “ I’m so glad we finally got a message through to you. Thank you so much for coming. I’m glad you didn’t get caught in it.” She exhaled heavily. “Okay, hold out your arms.”
“What is this?” Tor asked her.
“The rain carries some kind of metal that poisons people. We’re giving it to everyone. It binds to the metal, clumping it together. Then it comes out when you pee.”
“Does it work?” Tor asked. “I thought—"
She lowered her voice. “We don’t know yet. One of our scouts brought it back, and this is the first time we’ve used it. It should work. And even if some people are too far gone, it could help those with less exposure or prevent contamination by secondary contact.”
As she reached for Tor’s arm, Grace rushed over and grabbed her arm. “Mom, come quick, it’s Mr. Uppal. He’s puking blood everywhere.”
As Lily hurried off to help Grace’s patient, we huddled together.
“What do we do?” I asked Lexa. “What will happen if we take this injection? I mean, we’ve got a lot of metal inside us.”
“It shouldn’t be a problem,” she replied. “If it’s what I think it is, it’s for heavy metals like lead. Who knows what’s in the rain? But it shouldn’t do you any harm. Your nanites will nullify it.”
“Shouldn’t? Is that the best you’ve got?”
“Yes, Oliver it is.” Lexa’s mouth was a hard line.
“What if it’s a trap?” Kalbir whispered furiously, looking over her shoulder.
“What? What do you mean a trap?” I asked.
“What if they know what we are? What if your dad told them, and this is all a ruse to get us here so they can poison us? What if this injection kills us?”
“Kalbir, that’s crazy,” Tor said, his voice careful. “Look, I know you’ve been a bit paranoid since that night with the Cosmists, but this is—”
“What? Ridiculous? Crazy? Just think about it. We—”
“Sorry about that,” Lily said. She was dabbing a bloody towel on the front of her red-soaked shirt.
“Is he
okay?” Lexa asked.
Lily shook her head. “No. And he won’t be the last. Hurry now. Let’s get this done so we can help people.”
“Thank you for the offer,” Tor said, “but we don’t need the injection. None of us were exposed.”
“No, you have to. If you get blood or anything on you…you may even get poisoned just through touching their skin. It’s not safe.”
“We’ll be fine,” Tor insisted.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t stay, if you won’t take it. I’d feel responsible if anything happened.” She turned over the syringe in her hands. “I’m sorry if you don’t trust us.” She glanced sharply at Tor. “Unless there’s another reason? Do you know something we don’t? About the rain? About this drug? Am I doing the wrong thing—”
“Of course not, Lily. We’ll take it.” Lexa interrupted her.
“Wait. What?” Tor’s consternation was mirrored in all of us as we gaped at Lexa. What was she doing?
“Go on, it’ll be fine.” Lexa shot us a look of warning.
“Oh, thank you,” Lily gushed. “I’ll feel much better. And it’ll do the others good to see you taking it as well. Especially seeing how healthy you all are.” Her relief made her cheerful again. “Okay, who’s first?”
I was the last in line. The others, pressing their fingers into the crooks of their elbows rushed off to carry out Lily’s orders.
Lily swabbed antiseptic onto my arm carefully then checked the syringe for air bubbles before sliding it deftly into my vein. She depressed the plunger, and as a coolness blossomed through my forearm, she leaned forward and spoke so low only I could hear.
“I know what you are.”
We’ve been called arrogant, but I believe our plan was sound. Sometimes, to get people to act in their best interests, you must show them what those interests are. And because it’s human nature to act against our self-interest, in some cases, you have to act for them. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be merciful. I still believe this to be true.
—Mil Cothi, personal journal
I stared down at the bead of blood welling from the injection site.
“I know what you are.”
Her voice had been conspiratorial, not accusatory or malicious as she’d withdrawn the needle and walked away to tend to her patients, as though discovering that your neighbors were cyborgs was a normal thing for her.
What do I do? Do I tell the others? If what Lily said was true, we were in a very precarious position. If I told the others, they might panic. If I didn’t…
You made Tor a promise.
And I had. When we’d made our way through the province to save Pax and Cindra, I hadn’t told Tor I suspected someone was following us. It had turned out to be Fane, but I was keenly aware that I could’ve put us both in danger.
“Tor, I need to talk to you. What are you doing?” He was carrying lengths of old beams on his shoulder, beads of sweat on his forehead. He slid the beams onto the ground. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he said. “They’re heavy, that’s all. I’m building a temporary charnel house. Lily doesn’t want anyone to go too far out of town in case it begins to rain again, but they need to put the bodies somewhere. They’ll burn it when it’s full. It’s going to fill up fast.” He glanced at the beams impatiently. “What do you need?”
“Lily knows what we are.”
At first, he didn’t understand. “What? What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean, Tor. She knows we’re cyborgs.”
He yanked me by the hand closer to the wall, farther out of earshot. “You can’t be serious. How would she find out?”
“I don’t know. Maybe Kalbir was right. Maybe it was my father—" Please don’t let it be true. But I hadn’t seen him since we’d separated upon our arrival.
“What did she inject us with? Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“She only told me after she’d injected me. Maybe she’s on our side, Tor. Maybe the injection was nothing more than what she said it was. She wouldn’t know how we worked even if she did know what we are.”
“We can’t take that risk. Fuck, Ailith.”
“So what should we do? I don’t know if we should tell the others. Who knows how they’ll react?”
“We have to tell them. They need to know in case we have to protect ourselves.”
He was right. I pressed my fingertips into the corners of my eyes. “Okay, I’ll tell Cindra and Oliver. You tell Kalbir and Callum.”
I searched the blur of faces for Cindra. The air was hot and humid with vomit and spilled bowels, the former lobby full of bodies in various stages of dying. Some lay comatose, blood leaking from where their skin had split. Other had lost control of their nervous systems, their limbs jerking like marionettes on strings. Still others screamed in agony as they clawed at their chests.
For a moment, I froze, caught in their maelstrom. Pax’s red-mist vision of the future stuck in my mind. Was this that future coming to pass? Had we failed after all?
“Ailith?” It was Stella.
The Cosmists. The Cosmists could’ve betrayed us. They’d taken advantage of this disaster, just like they said they would. “What did you do?”
“Do? What do you mean?”
“You told them about us, didn’t you?”
She backed away from me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I stepped toward her. She threw her hands up in front of her face.
“Ailith, Stella? What’s going on?” Cindra materialized at my side.
“Stella’s betrayed us. Lily knows what we are.”
“No, I didn’t. I promise. I’m not like Ethan. You can ask Fane.” Her voice broke over his name.
Across the room, Tor’s shoulders convulsed. He turned his head toward me, his eyes wide. Calm down. If I possessed Tor now, it would be a disaster for all of us. Breathe.
Wisps of white clouds drifting through an azure sky.
“You’d better be telling the truth. If I find out otherwise—”
“I swear. I’ll help you any way I can. What can I do?”
“Just keep helping people. Keep your eyes and ears open. And Stella, I’ll be watching you. I know how precious Fane is to you. Don’t forget where he is right now.”
The shine of her eyes before she turned away filled me with a vicious satisfaction.
Cindra stared at me. “Ailith, what are you doing? I understand we don’t trust the Cosmists, but threatening Fane? I thought you—”
“We could be in very real danger right now, Cindra.”
“I know, but still—”
“Do you feel any different? Since the injection?”
“No, I—”
“Let me know if you do.”
“What do we do now?”
“Carry on as normal. Help these people. Like I told Tor, maybe Lily is on our side.” I glanced around. “No one seems to be looking at us any differently. One or two people could pretend, but a whole town? If that is what she meant, she hasn’t told many people.” I thrust a shallow tray of bandages and syringes at her. “Here, help me. Have you seen Oliver?”
“He went to get some more bandages. He’ll be right back.”
I knelt beside the patient closest to me. Her legs were kicking violently, her face tight with pain.
“Please, help me,” she whispered. Pink spittle formed in the corners of her mouth.
Cindra handed me a syringe. “Do you know how to use this?”
“Yes.” I’d injected the ports in my own arms many times during my illness, fighting to stay home rather than the hospital.
“Please, try to keep still,” I said to the woman, knowing I was asking the impossible. “Cindra, hold her arm, around the top.” I squeezed the woman’s hand, trying to be comforting.
What’s happening to me? I promised him I’d be okay. It’s been so long since the rain came, so long. I’m going to die. Oh god, why does it hurt so—
I snatched my
hand away.
It’s not possible. No.
“Is everything okay?” Oliver appeared at Cindra’s elbow. Cindra quickly filled him in.
“Shit.” He gave a long, low whistle. “Well, that’s us fucked. I wonder what she shot us up with?”
“Do you feel any different?”
“No,” he admitted.
“Cindra, can you do this please? I need to talk to Oliver.”
She looked between us.
“I promise we’ll tell you everything later. We need to hurry.”
She hesitated then nodded and turned back to our patient, sliding the needle in expertly.
“Oliver, something else is going on here. I-I can’t explain it just yet.” Please, please let me be wrong. “I need to you go back to the compound. I need you to find everything you can about the silver rain. If I’m right, anything on it will be buried.”
“Please, I’m amazing,” said Oliver. “If it’s there, I can find it. Do you want to give me a better idea of what I’m looking for? Might speed things up a bit.”
I told him.
“No. Ailith, what you’re saying can’t be possible. If it’s true…” For the first time since I’d known Oliver, he looked genuinely shaken.
“I know. Oliver, don’t let Mil know what you’re up to. Tell him you’re…I don’t know, you’ll think of something. Get Fane to run interference if you have to. Now go.”
“I don’t have to go back. Remember?” He tapped his forehead. “It’s all up here. I just have to find it.”
“Well, go find it then, and keep out of sight. I don’t have to tell you how important this is. And keep the door to your mind open. I might not have time to knock.”
He nodded then kissed Cindra quickly on the back of the head and melted into the crowd.
“How is she?” The woman’s legs had stilled, and the lines of pain on her face had softened.
Cindra pulled me to the side. “She’s okay for now…there was a paralytic and an anesthetic in there. But I don’t know how long it will last. It’s like she’s lost control of her nervous system.”
“Did your ability tell you that?”
“Yes. But it was more of a guess… I don’t know. It took a lot more effort than earlier. Maybe I’m getting tired.”