“I’ll give you a hint.” His eyes close partway. “It’s not Miranda. Different girl. Different league.”
Rush brings his lips to mine, and I melt slowly, completely into a hot puddle of want right here in his arms. His mouth opens as his tongue crashes into my mouth, and suddenly the heat in the room explodes to an all-out inferno. Rush wraps his arms around me tight as I hike my legs over him, straddling him right here on the sofa. His kisses explode with hunger, with an all-out lust for me as if he were a starving man in need of what I could give him in order to survive.
My hands slip up his shirt, and my palms land over that searing hot flesh of his I’ve only dreamed of touching these last few weeks. The hard outline of his abs stuns me. I’ve never felt a guy’s chest before. The few times I’ve sucker punched my brother I would swear he was soft as an old pillow, but Rush here is like a marble sculpture. This is one hundred percent skin over stone. Nothing about Rushford Knight is soft, especially not that hard protrusion rubbing against my thigh.
Oh my God, it’s going to happen. I’m going to lose my virginity to the one person I swore I would never open up to like a flower. But that was the old Rush. This is the new, improved, eyes for only me version. Right? My heart drums hard against his chest, and I’m embarrassed that he might actually feel it. I’m pretty sure that laundry list of other girls who have had the pleasure to be in this position were cool as a cucumber, knowing full well what to do and how to do it. Face it. I’m a novice. For all practical purposes, I really am a nun. And I’m pretty sure once Rush figures that out, he’ll send me packing.
His fingers slip under my sweater, and I take in a quick breath as the sensation of his flesh hits mine.
Rush pulls back, his eyes still drugged and lazy as he gives a sly grin. “Don’t worry. We’re taking it slow.”
“Slow,” I mouth as I fall back to his lips.
Rush and I are taking it slow, which firmly implies we are taking it somewhere. We have boarded the sex express, ladies and gentlemen! The wheels on the sexual bus will go round and round until we have cleared all bases! I repeat. We are en route to rounding out all bases and scoring a home run!
His hands sear over my back, gliding up and down, warming me from head to toe. That sweet spot at the base of my thighs starts in on a continuous ripple, and I shudder over him without meaning to. I’m pretty sure Rush has handled his fair share of virgins, but at the moment I’m only concerned with one—me.
I trail lingering kisses over that wild, prickly stubble of his that I love so much, all the way to his temple.
“I want you,” I do my best to sound sultry, but it comes out in a fury of aggressive pants instead.
He buries a kiss directly into my ear. “I want you, too, Trix.” Rush digs his fingers into my hips, pressing me hard over his lap as his kisses grow ever so wild. His tongue unleashes a furtive assault, and I’m right there with him, battling away as if we were on opposing teams.
A hard knock comes over the door. “You in there, Knight?”
SHIT! I’d know that voice in my sleep.
“It’s my brother.” I propel off his body so fast I’m airborne for at least ten seconds as I fly to his bedroom and barricade myself inside. I lean against the door and crack it open in the event I need to call 911. When Knox bashes Rush’s skull in, it won’t be pretty. And believe me, it’s a when, not an if.
“What’s up?” Rush’s voice gongs through the house, and my girl parts pulse in and out like a Pavlovian dog. Wow, I am beyond disgusting, freely orgasming within shouting distance of my brother.
“You didn’t show up for practice this afternoon. I stopped by to watch, and no one knew where you were. I wanted to see what was up.” Footsteps head deeper into the living room. Crap. It’s just like Knox to invite himself in. No freaking manners. “Dude, is this Trixie’s purse?”
DOUBLE SHIT!
“That’s Sunday’s crap,” Rush grouses. “She’s always leaving stuff at my place.”
My God, Rush is so cool I can feel the glacial breeze from twenty feet away.
“But it might be your sister’s,” he says thoughtfully yet stupidly. “Sunday says she’s forever stealing her stuff.” Ah! Vindication. Rush is right back to being a genius. And for the record, I do not steal Sunday’s stuff. We have set very clear guidelines that everything is available to the both of us, minus her contacts and my retainer.
“Dude”—Knox moans it out as if someone just stabbed him in the gut—“I am so fucked. She’s into some guy, and she won’t tell me who. Apparently, he took her to the fair.”
“The one you were going to take her to?” The sound of water running catches my attention. Is Rush doing the dishes? I’ll admit that makes me ten times hotter for him. Sexy and domestic? Rushford Knight does not fight fair.
“Yup.” I can feel the tension in my brother’s voice, and it kills me. Knox is the one person in the world I would do anything for, and keeping a secret from him is practically sacrilegious. “Anyway, she’s in that media club with you. Keep an eye on her. Maybe listen in on a conversation or two.”
What the fresh hell? How long has he been invoking these spy games on me? Is this how he knew I was lying in the fourth grade when I told him I did not in fact swallow his marbles. My father was not amused at the fact he needed to get up close and personal with my bathroom breaks.
“I have to know who this dude is.” Knox sounds like he’s about to cry. Or kill. Probably that. “Anyway, I’m sure she’ll give him up sooner than later. Trix is lousy at keeping secrets. I know her like the back of my hand. She’s ready to cave. She wanted to tell me this afternoon. I could see it in her eyes.”
Rush grunts, “So what if she’s got a boyfriend?”
“Boyfriend?” Knox says it at the same time I think it. It’s that twin thing happening again.
Is that what Rush is? My boyfriend? A secret boyfriend who’s risking life and limb to sneak behind my brother’s back? Huh. This all sounds ridiculously middle school all of a sudden. For a second, I contemplate sauntering right out of this room and exposing myself, tousled hair and all, but I quickly decide I like viewing my brother sans prison bars. One incarcerated Toberman was more than enough.
“Dude”—Knox barks out an obnoxious laugh as if it were the most ludicrous thing he’s ever heard—“no one is going to commit to that level of crazy.” Bastard. “Yes, she’s my sister, but she’s batshit. She’s still growing up.” He’s got me there. “She’s not ready for a commitment. I’m just afraid there’s some idiot out there trying to get into her pants. My biggest fear is she’s with him right now, just steps away from losing her virginity.” A hard thump comes from somewhere deep in the living room, and I’m half-afraid that sound was Knox punching Rush’s heart right out of his chest because he’s already figured it out. “Anyway, keep an eye and an ear out. I have a feeling this mystery will be coming to an end pretty soon. I’d better head home. Harper’s on her way.”
“No problem. And I’ll definitely keep an eye out on her,” says the big bad wolf. “Hey, Knox, don’t you think if she’s cool with you seeing someone, you should feel the same about her? I mean, she’s in college, not high school. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. I think you’re just being a touch overprotective. Once she gets past that first boyfriend, you’ll feel a little better about the whole dating thing. It’s time for you to cut the umbilical cord. Welcome to new territory.”
“Maybe. But I doubt it’ll ever get easier.”
First, Rush just delivered a sucker punch with that whole first boyfriend line, and second, my brother just soothed it by way of his undying proclamation of love for me.
Rush heads down the hall, and I step out of his room sheepishly.
“That went well.” It takes everything in me to meet up with those citrine glowing eyes.
Rush pulls me into a hard embrace and lands a sweet kiss over the top of my head. I can feel the heated sweat emanating from his shirt, and it’s
clear Rush was not as cool as he sounded.
“How about we hit Netflix?” His lips tug my earlobe, and I drink down that tickle straight to my bones.
“Sounds perfect.” I hike up on my toes and drop a kiss over his lips. “It’s exactly what I’ve pictured doing with my new boyfriend.”
A husky laugh strums from him as we head for the sofa.
Rush is my boyfriend.
This is new territory indeed.
Rush
The Black Bear is heated and brimming with bodies. I spot Knox at a table in the back with Lawson, Grant, and Seth, and I give a slight wave over to him. It’s been a week since that nighttime debacle when he almost walked in on Trixie and me. I’ve never sweated so much in my life. I was stunned that he didn’t see right through my lies. And, to be honest, I haven’t been able to face him since. He flags me over, but I point down at my sister. Lucky for me, I’ve got a family dinner to tend to.
Sunday leads us to the far left where we spot Nolan and Misty cozying up in a booth. My brother’s so in love he can’t keep his arms off his girl. I glance over at that table again and notice Seth headed this way. Figures. I didn’t mind him so much until Trix brought him up one too many times, and now I can hardly stand the sight of him.
Sunday and I slide into the booth while Seth pulls a seat up to the edge of the table. It’s a downright chatter-fest for the first few minutes as we catch up on the minutiae of life.
“How’s the wedding planning?” Sunday is practically giddy as she leans toward Misty. Ever since Sunday was a little girl, she’s been rehearsing for the big day. I know she’s completely enthralled with whatever Misty has to say. But in my mind, there’s no way Sunday is getting a wedding day because that just so happens to lead to a wedding night. And in no way can I allow another dude to touch her like that.
My stomach sours as I glance across the place at Knox. Crap. I get it. He’s losing his mind, and I know why. I also know who the perpetrator is. Me.
“Great!” Misty’s eyes round out like quarters. She’s cute and sweet as pumpkin pie. I couldn’t have picked a better person for my brother to spend his life with. “We’re still on for that facial, right?”
“You bet.” My sister grabs a handful of complimentary chips and takes a crunch filled bite. “It’s a five-week process to pull out that dewy glow in you so we’ll have plenty of time. We can start Tuesday if you want.”
They go on and on, and my gaze drifts to the far end of the room where Lucky, Ava, and Trixie just joined the guys at their table.
Nolan kicks me in the foot. “So how’s life treating you?” He nods to Seth. “Either of you clowns have a plus one yet, or are you still swimming in the deep end of the sorority houses?” He waggles his brows as if it were an accomplishment, and I can’t help but contest the idea with a frown.
“Not me,” Seth is the first to belt it out. “I’m lying low. There’s someone, but I’m pretty sure she’s not interested.”
The entire table grows quiet.
Boo-hoo. It takes everything in me to hold back a grin. Cry me a freaking river. Of course, Trixie isn’t interested in him. She’s interested in me.
I glance past him and catch her looking my way. As soon as our eyes meet, she glances away.
That dark hair, those glowing starlit eyes—and don’t even get me going on that mouth. The things that girl does to me. Damn, she’s beautiful. My body shakes to hold her, and suddenly all this sneaking around bullshit makes zero sense.
Misty scoffs. “Who in their right mind wouldn’t want Seth?”
“I know, right?” I lean over and tousle his hair until it’s standing on edge.
“Dude”—he flicks me off—“what did you do that for?” he grunts as he struggles to rake it back with his fingers. He glances over to Sunday and gives a sheepish grin. “Never mind about me. I’m good.”
“And you?” Nolan nods my way while scooping a heap of salsa into his mouth.
“I’m good, too.” I glance over in Trixie’s direction, and my insides ache just to be near her.
Seth shakes his head as if contesting the idea. “Dude, the girls are talking. You’ve shut them out cold turkey. Rumors are flying that you’re actually seeing someone on the sly. Put the rumors to rest, man. Who is this witchy woman who’s cast her spell on you?”
“No one you should care about.”
The table breaks out into a choir of howls, inspiring Trixie and everyone with her to look this way for a second.
Crap. How did I get railroaded into that one?
“My God, it’s true!” Sunday bounces in her seat with glee. “Who is she? It’s not really Miranda, is it? Do I know her? Will I even like her?”
“Yes, you’ll like her.” Shit. It’s as if someone handed me a shovel and I can’t stop digging. “Never mind. So what about you?” I tap my sister’s elbow with mine. “Anyone I need to kill just yet?”
Nolan and Misty bust out with laughter.
“No way.” Nolan shakes his head. “I’ll admit to a double standard. Sunday doesn’t need a guy.”
“That’s right,” Misty counters. “Besides, I’ve seen the guys floating around campus. You definitely don’t need anyone at Briggs.”
Seth straightens. “What’s wrong with the guys on campus?”
“Not you,” Misty is quick to dismiss him. “The other guys, the real ones that think they have a chance with Sunday’s precious heart.”
Nolan grunts, “It’s not her heart they’re after.”
“Please!” Sunday sinks her face into her hands, laughing herself silly. “Can we not talk about my love life or lack thereof?”
Serena comes by and takes our order, sliding into the booth with us while we wait on our food and she takes her break. The girls talk about how successful Sunday’s vlog is while Nolan picks Seth’s brain about Mustang football, but I can’t seem to get into the conversation.
Dinner comes and goes, and eventually Seth takes off to the other end of the bar along with Sunday. Misty heads to the restroom, so I head out front with Nolan.
“You ready to take the plunge?” I mock sock him in the stomach.
“You know it.” He winces a moment, and it’s like looking in a mirror. His hair is darker, but other than that we’re carbon copies of one another. “Hey, I just wanted to remind you that Mom’s memorial is coming up. It hits on Thanksgiving this year.”
“I know.” I stiffen, staring out at the crowd of coeds barreling through the doors of the establishment.
“We’re thinking we should all have dinner at The Sloppy Pelican then head over to the site and say a prayer, put down some flowers.”
My muscles turn to stone. I’d swear on all that is holy, rigor mortis just set in. I haven’t been to the site since I was a kid. I vowed I’d never go back.
“Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” I offer up a fist bump in an effort to keep from making eye contact with my brother. I never could look him in the eye and lie. I won’t be anywhere near The Sloppy Pelican on Thanksgiving. I know it will piss Lex off. Her fiancé owns the place, but Lex has always been in charge of our family get-togethers regardless. But it’s not The Pelican that’s keeping me at bay. It’s the aftermath of that horrible evening that has me running. Nope. Not doing it.
“You sure about that?” Nolan dips in until his eyes connect with mine. “I know this is tough for you. Rush, you have to stop blaming yourself. Nothing that happened that day was your fault.”
My mouth falls open to contest the idea just as Misty breezes over, her lipstick refreshed and hair fluffed out. She plants a kiss on my brother, and he forgets all about the seemingly irrational blame game. We say goodnight, and I wait a beat as they head out the door before deciding which way my feet want to go. Trixie is still seated next to her brother with everyone we know flanking them. There’s no way I can hide how I feel about her around that crew. And after that conversation with Nolan, the only thing I want is Trixie with her arms wrapped around me, holding m
e like I’m some baby that needs to be rocked to sleep. Trixie is the first girl outside of my family that’s made me feel anything, and that, right there, scares the living hell out of me. Others have tried—hell, I’ve begged a few of them to succeed, but it seems Trixie was the only one able to effortlessly pull it off. How the hell did she do it is what I want to know. And what does it mean? The answer to that last question is what frightens me the most. The day my mother died I traded my heart for a stone. I vowed I’d never hurt anyone else that way. Deep down, I suspected I was lethal—that my love might be. I loved my mother to the point of death, and then she died. It all made sense to the little kid in me. Sadly, it still does.
I take a step out into the frigid autumn night as the maples bleed their crimson leaves all over the sidewalk and head for the parking lot.
Yup. I just want Trixie to hold me.
* * *
Halloween night on The Row has been serious business for the last four years of my collegiate career. And judging by the way Kappa is filling to the brim with cheap costumes and wigs galore, tonight will maintain that streak. It’s loud as shit as the music pulsates through me with its backbeat. The girls are out in number, each with heels higher than the last, every single one of them vamped up to thrill. Not an innocent costume in the bunch. And since costumes are required, I’ve donned my basketball jersey over my T-shirt, and ironically, every dude here is sporting a jersey of some sort whether or not they’re on a team. I didn’t want to show up tonight, but Knox practically dragged me by the hair. It’s safe to say I’ve been avoiding his sister as of late. In fact, I’ve outright avoided our famed lip-locks this past week. I hung out at the station and walked her to Cutler Tower both nights, but other than that I’ve laid low. I know she’s hurting, or more to the point outrageously pissed, but I’m not up for a discussion.
Something happened that night at the Black Bear. Something about the conversation with Nolan made me realize what I want from Trixie is something far deeper than I’ve had with anyone else—something far deeper than I can comprehend is possible. I want everything with her, and it scares the living shit out of me. She should run the next time she sees me. Fast.
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