by Leslie North
“Yeah. She’s just…excited to meet me.” Nick shrugged, glancing between his phone and Haley. “I’m not going to answer her.”
“You should,” Haley blurted. She scooted away from him, over to the edge of the bed. She tried to appear nonchalant while hunting for her panties. Trying not to let the hurt take over. “Why wouldn’t you?”
“Because…” Nick gestured to the air between them. “I’d much rather stay here with you.”
“Well, I can’t stay.” Haley swallowed a lump in her throat. “And you already agreed to this. Text her back.”
Nick sighed, tossing his phone aside. “Haley. Let me be clear.” He paused, working his jaw side to side. When he met her gaze, there was fire there. “I would much rather be with you. Not just stay, but be.”
“Be with me?” She scoffed, shaking her head. “That’s just not gonna happen.”
Something unknown creased Nick’s face. It was the most vulnerable she’d ever seen him. “But why not? Can you think of a single reason why not?” He hopped off the bed, and she turned her back on him to hunt for her clothes. “Listen to me. You and I…we’re like best friends. It’s been that way since the start. We get along, we have so much fun together. Your daughter is the best. You’re gorgeous and the smartest developer I know.” He trailed off as she tugged her clothes on. She wouldn’t look him in the eye. Not if her life depended on it. “As far as I can see, there’s only one thing in our way. And it’s you.”
“Yeah, and for good reason too,” she said, her throat already pinched. Not a good sign. The emotion was clawing its way out of her body. “You don’t know who Amanda’s father is. You don’t know what I went through to become a single mom. You don’t know why it’s better for me to be single than to get involved with another rich, self-righteous man who, at the end of the day, sees me and my life as a plaything and not a valid existence.”
Nick scoffed. “You think I’m self-righteous?”
Haley’s nostrils flared. She sat on the edge of the bed to tug her heels on. “Is that all you heard from that?”
Nick wilted, rubbing his forehead. His dick was a distraction, even when they were in the middle of a discussion. She fought to not notice it.
“I’m not him,” he said slowly. “Whoever he was. I’ve never seen your life as a plaything. Or Amanda for that matter. And believe me, I’d give any amount of money to be included in your life. To have you let me in.”
“But that’s the one thing money can’t buy,” Haley said with a smirk. And somehow, it felt like a victory. “My blackened, charred heart is closed until further notice. Sorry.”
Nick laughed, but it was humorless. He snatched up his briefs and stepped into them, then disappeared into the walk-in closet.
“I’ll let you get ready for your date,” Haley said when he didn’t exit immediately.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Haley picked up her purse, looked around to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything, and then left the bedroom.
Each step begged her to turn around and go back, but she carried on anyway.
She and Nick didn’t belong together. All she had to do was wait until Anna came along and stole the limelight. Then everything would be exactly as she’d planned.
Haley’s career would be on track. Her financial stability assured. And she and Amanda…content together. Mother and daughter. No room for anyone else.
She held onto these words as she stormed out of Nick’s house, using them as a mantra against the painful wrench in her chest.
13
Nick cleared his throat, checking his watch before he left his office. Three weeks since his and Haley’s blow-up in his bedroom, and things were finally easier. He could look at her without feeling the anger surge…or the longing.
The longing was still there; he just knew how to tamp it down better now. But the anger had simmered into something else altogether—a resignation that bordered on sadness.
He gathered his files for the board meeting, one hundred percent dreading it. This would be the big meeting where Haley made her pitch to the board to greenlight her matchmaking app. Using Nick as her prime success story.
Because he was the prime success story. Haley’s tweaks had worked. Anna was a peach, and she and Nick had been dating since that first night three weeks ago. Though sometimes Nick wondered if their dating success wasn’t partially due to a sense of revenge—which was the most twisted revenge ever, since Haley wanted him to date Anna. But it was Nick’s only weapon in forcing Haley to realize she actually wanted to be with him.
He gritted his teeth, checking his watch again. The whole thing sucked. Maybe he wasn’t as over it as he thought he was. But at least he had Anna.
Nick pushed into the board room, giving a curt nod to those in attendance. The majority of the forty- and fifty-something board members were already in attendance, dressed in their business-tech best, tapping pens and swiping through phones as they waited to start. At the front of the room, Haley arranged her presentation. She cued up her computer presentation, then checked a list on the table in front of her. Nick avoided her gaze as he picked the seat farthest away from her.
He and Haley had conferred plenty in the days leading up to this meeting. Via email, of course, since neither one wanted to spend too much time in each other’s company. Probably for the same reason—they were kindling to the other’s open flame. And if Anna had any real shot of working out for him, he needed to forget Haley existed.
Hard when she walked past his office every day. Nick tapped his pen against the glass top of the table, trying to tune in to the conversations around him. But his gaze kept sliding back to Haley. Her sleek black pencil skirt, the black silk dress shirt that she’d expertly tucked in. Her glossy hair featured a pompadour in front, and a slick low ponytail in back. She was the epitome of sexy business woman. His stomach flopped.
When the last board member arrived, Nick called the meeting to order gruffly then motioned for Haley to begin.
She launched into her presentation beautifully, her voice sonorous and delivery polished. She covered the aims of the app, the beta testing performed, the journey of the stylization and the user interface. Her supporting materials showcased the research the app was based on, as well as the user comments over time.
Board members nodded their heads as she spoke. Finally, her attention turned to him.
“The clinching success story of the app is actually right here in front of us.” Haley smiled down at him, motioning his way. “Nick here recently matched with a user, and they’ve been dating happily for three weeks. What’s her name, Nick? Anna?”
Nick cleared his throat, rallying himself to present himself as the success story she so wanted him to be. “Sure is. Anna. Bombshell, CEO, exactly what I’ve been looking for my entire life.” He forced a smile, wondering if he should push it further. Make it hurt a little. Screw it. “Plus, I was the guy who swore to never get married. I knew there was nobody out there for me. But we are one hundred percent compatible. All thanks to your app.”
Haley smiled at the board members as a rumble of surprise shivered through the room. She made a few closing remarks about the app, reiterated the pitch, and thanked everyone for their time.
Conversation swelled in the room once she was done. Board members approached her with specific questions. Nick watched as she discussed different aspects of the app. This was her moment. All her planning and work and research had led to this. He stepped outside the board room to wait for her, pacing the far end of the hallway as he waited for everyone to file out.
When the last board member left, Nick approached the door, rubbing the back of his neck. He found Haley inside, hands over her face. He paused, unsure if he should announce his presence or not.
She sighed heavily, lips tugged down into a frown. No, she didn’t look happy at all. Nick rapped a knuckle against the door frame softly. She jolted, wide eyes greeting him.
“What are you doing here?”
“Just
wanted to say congratulations.” He stayed where he was, leaning on the door frame. Every bit of him wanted to move closer to her, but boundaries needed to be reinforced. “I’ll admit, you don’t look as happy as I thought you would.”
Her throat moved as she swallowed. “I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be happy?”
He let the question hang in the air. She scooped up her materials, stuffing papers into a folder.
“I thought it went well,” she said, glancing up at him. “Do you?”
“Yeah. Very well. They’ll vote later this week. So you’ll know soon.”
She rolled her lips inward, nodding. “Cool. And, uh…” she trailed off, snapping her fingers. As if the name escaped her. “Anna?”
“Haley, you know that’s her name. You can stop being coy.”
Haley gnawed on the inside of her cheek. “I just meant, how’s that going? I mean…you know. Are you actually engaged?” She laughed a little, but it faded quickly.
So she cares. “On our way, I guess.”
Haley nodded, looking at him like she wanted to ask more. But he wouldn’t give her anything. Not the details he knew she wanted but could never admit to.
“Great. Well, thanks for your help. I really couldn’t have done this without you,” Haley said, sounding rushed. She stuffed the folders under her arms and grabbed her purse. She tossed him a bright, plastic smile. “Can’t wait until this is a real thing, you know?”
Nick exhaled slowly, the emotions storming through him just making him tired. He wanted to push her up against the wall, scream at her, beg her to drop the pretenses. None of those options would get him anywhere. All he could do was stay quiet.
“Yeah. Well good luck.” He pushed away from the doorframe and headed down the hallway, walking briskly. He needed to get away from her. To stop looking her in the eye.
Because she didn’t want him. She’d made that more than clear.
Getting over Haley meant staying away from her.
It was the only way that he and Anna stood a chance.
14
It was Friday morning when she got the email from Nick that simply said: Results in. Come to my office.
She silenced the twist in her stomach, prepping herself for whatever waited inside his office. This would be the day to change her life—for good or for bad. She stood and smoothed down her skirt, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. Imagining the good news. The app timeline. The initial budget. The publicity that they’d schedule down the line.
By the time she strolled into Nick’s office, she had convinced herself of the good news. But Nick’s face didn’t show an ounce of good news. She shut the door behind her.
“Hey.” She pressed herself against the door for a moment, letting the reality of his office settle in. He jerked his chin toward the chair facing his desk. He treated her so differently now. Ever since she’d walked out of his house, he’d grown distant. Cold, even.
Because that’s what you wanted, right?
“So, the news.” Nick didn’t look at her, didn’t wait for her to reach the chair. He tapped a pen against the edge of his desk. “The board rejected your app.”
All she could do was gape at him. She stood stock-still, unable to even bend her knees to sit down.
“Are you kidding me?”
He shook his head. “The Working Mom app was greenlighted, so we’ve set up a timeline for that. A lot of the board members liked your idea, but when the marketing research came back, they decided against it.” Nick’s jaw flexed. “I’m sorry.”
Haley couldn’t wrap her mind around his words. She reached for the edge of the seat facing his desk, using it as support. “But you were the prime success story. You said this would get approved.”
“I didn’t say it would get approved.” He cleared his throat, finally sweeping his gaze up to meet hers. A shiver coursed through her. “I said it stood a chance.”
She sputtered. “B-But the Working Mom app is a joke! No app is going to fix a problem created by our society, or by being a single mom! Women will dump the app after a few weeks once they realize it doesn’t solve shit. But my app—my app will last them a lifetime. How is this unclear?”
“Well, at the end of the day, some things make better financial sense than others.” He held her gaze, and so much swirled there that she was so curious about, but too afraid to ask. “The marketing team looked into it, and the matchmaking app didn’t fit the bill. This is business, Haley. I don’t know what else to tell you.”
Haley stared at him for a moment, unable to form a response other than fuck you. This couldn’t be the end of the line for her app. She’d sunk so many hours of research, work, and preparation into this app. It had to be a success. Her future was riding on it.
And now…
She gritted her teeth. “I thought you had my back.”
“I did what I could. I can’t override the board.”
Haley shook her head, unable to decide if this was rage or disappointment. Maybe both. “But you’ve seen my life. You know what I deal with as a working mom. A fucking app isn’t going to help. A partner, maybe. Someone who loves my daughter. The biological father. But an app? Get the hell out of here.”
Nick looked weary. “This is the direction the company is going in.”
And that’s when it hit her. It was business for him. It would always be business for him. And no amount of firsthand experience would convince him otherwise. In a flash, she could see the next five to ten years of her life at this job. Slaving away on apps that just didn’t make sense so she could continue earning her adequate yet underwhelming paycheck.
She deserved more. Amanda deserved more.
“Fine.” Haley cleared her throat, examining her nails as she gathered the courage to say the words. “Then I think I should go in a different direction.”
Nick lowered his head, squinting slightly. “Like which one?”
“Like, out of this company.” She straightened, pulling the words from deep inside her. “I quit.”
Haley turned on her heel and strutted out of his office. The high of the maneuver lasted approximately the length of the walk back to her cubicle. And then she was faced with the follow-up: packing her shit and getting out of dodge.
She milled around her desk nervously for a few moments, almost waiting to see if Nick would show up. She half-expected him to follow her and beg her to change her mind. But when that didn’t happen, she started gathering her things.
Quitting had been stupid. She knew that the second the words flew out of her mouth. But it had been necessary, from a career standpoint.
And more than that, from a personal standpoint.
Working with Nick had become impossible. His coldness infuriated her, only proving to her that his niceness had been motivated by his attraction to her. Now that he was with Anna, she could expect that coldness to continue. And was that any way to build a career?
She’d find something else. She repeated this to herself over and over again as she filled her purse with the most important essentials from her desk. Jobs were a dime a dozen in the tech world. It was just a matter of focus. Sending resumes. Waiting for her merits to speak on her behalf.
A few co-workers noticed what she was doing and came by, demanding in low tones what the hell had happened. She used as few words as possible to let her work friends know what she thought of Nick, wished them luck on the Working Mom bullshit, and slammed her drawer shut. Her mind roiled as she jammed the last of her desk contents into her purse and slung it over her shoulder. With a final look around the shared work space, she said her final goodbye.
With each step down the hallway, her skin itched with the desire to see Nick again. To have one last conversation. To see if he even cared that she’d quit. He’d said she was his best developer—so why didn’t he fight for her? Why didn’t he make an offer or make sure she didn’t walk away?
She pushed her shoulder into the glass door at the front of the building, paus
ing in the empty foyer. Looking behind her, she checked. One last time.
No Nick.
She huffed and pushed through the door, stomping out to her SUV. Once upon a time, Nick had chased her down and made sure she had help. That she could navigate not just the choppy waters of the workplace, but also the outside world.
He cared. Or rather, he had.
And now? She was as unimportant to him as a janitor.
She slid into the front seat. Once the door slammed, tears sprang forward. She covered her face with her hands, letting the emotion tumble out. Her body shook with sobs as she let it all out—the frustrations, the despair, the not knowing, the longing, the disappointment. All of it.
And through the tears, she reminded herself: she’d brought herself to this point. She’d meticulously planned and orchestrated it. So why did it sting so much?
You should have said yes to Nick when you had the chance.
The quiet truth of the sentiment rocked through her, so hard that her tears stopped. She sniffled, wiping at her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup.
Saying yes to Nick would have killed her app early. It was going to die anyway. If she’d known that before, would it have changed anything?
She drew a fortifying breath. Nothing made sense anymore. All she could feel was tumult and regret.
And somehow, over the din of the bad day, all she wanted was Nick.
15
Nick took a long drink of his mojito. The mint was crisp, the condensation on the glass trickling onto his fingers. Around him, laughter and rock music. The sun was shining. And across the yard, glistening in the sunlight, the most beautiful blonde in San Diego.
He frowned, setting down the drink. It was his third, and he was on his way to getting drunk. Didn’t seem appropriate for a three p.m. summer party at Brian’s house, but screw it. Nick was as unhappy as ever, and sometimes, it was nice to get lost in a pleasant drunk haze and forget about things.