by Radclyffe
Mae listened to the idle chatter with half a mind. She stood huddled with a few others against the railing on the second floor, looking down through a cloud of cigar smoke into the saloon hall below. It was packed with men whose voices converged to create a blanket of sound that nearly drowned out all other conversation.
“People see what they expect to see,” Mae murmured.
“She’s a darn sight easier to look at than Doc Melbourne,” Sissy acknowledged grudgingly. “I’d rather have her poking at me than him.”
“Doc Melbourne’s always been a gentleman,” Annie replied primly.
“That’s because you’ve got a soft spot for him,” Sissy griped.
“So what if I do? I saw you giving Vance a smile or two.”
Mae bristled inwardly at the gossip that ordinarily she wouldn’t pay any mind to. Hearing the other women discuss Vance so casually made her irrationally annoyed, even though she understood their interest. Vance was not just a newcomer, which always garnered curiosity for a few days, she was a woman doing something these young girls had never even imagined possible. On top of that, she was intriguing—in her independence and her differentness. Of course they were going to talk about her. Even flirt with her a little bit. Seduction was their primary means of survival, and it came as naturally to them as it did to Mae. Vance, however, had seemed to be immune to even the most flagrant flirtations. Still, the way Sissy had flaunted her youthful attributes had rankled.
At Vance’s request, Mae had accompanied her while she made her initial examinations of all the girls, questioning them gently about past pregnancies or female troubles they might have had, asking if they knew how to take care of themselves and prevent disease and impregnation. Vance had been thorough and gentle and kind. She had neither judged nor attempted to change what they were. She had merely given them her attention and her caring. It was a wonder they all didn’t fall in love with her, whether they were of a mind to lie with a woman or not.
“And so what if I did give her a little look.” Sissy’s voice interrupted Mae’s musings. “You think men are the only ones who enjoy our company? You could do worse than having the town doctor take a shine to you. It might keep the cowboys off you for a while.”
Startled, Annie looked at Mae. “You mean sometimes women might come to a place like this?”
“It’s not unheard of,” Mae snapped, giving Sissy a withering glance. “But just because a woman wears pants doesn’t mean she likes to sleep with her own kind. Don’t go jumping to conclusions.”
“I’m not about to jump on anything,” Sissy said with a toss of her head and a satisfied smile. “But I won’t be jumping out of the way either if she should take an urge to climb aboard.”
“I wouldn’t be counting on that,” Mae said. Vance had given no indication she was interested in lying with anyone, man or woman, but Mae had a feeling that might be because that part of her was buried under the pain and misery she’d suffered. Looking at the hungry gleam in Sissy’s eye and the enchanted one in Annie’s, she had no doubt there would be willing partners if it was women she wanted for comfort. She didn’t want to think about to whom Vance would turn when her feelings came back to life.
“There’s work to be done if we want to earn our keep,” Mae said. “Let’s get to it.”
*
Vance stood in a pack of men at the far end of the bar, nursing a whiskey that she didn’t really want. It was the only company she was used to, however, and after leaving Mae, she hadn’t wanted to go back to her room at the hotel. The little bit of her past she’d shared with Mae during dinner had opened a tiny chink in the wall that she had built to keep the pain at bay, but oddly, it wasn’t pain that had surfaced through the hole in her defenses. It was longing. A restless sense of yearning for something she couldn’t name. Whatever it was, it pulled at her belly, dragged at her heart, and she hadn’t wanted to lie alone in the dark with it.
She sipped at her whiskey and saw Mae come down the stairs with some of the girls. Although Mae was only half a dozen years older than the oldest among them, she looked like a woman in full bloom and not a girl. Vance watched Mae move through the crowd, bestowing a touch or a smile on some lucky man or other. Watching her produced an odd combination of pleasure and pain, neither of which Vance could explain. She turned her back to the room and drained her whiskey, then signaled for another.
Chapter Eight
Mae dabbed scent behind each ear and restoppered the small, pale green glass bottle. Just as she set it down on her dressing table, a knock sounded at the door. At four in the afternoon it was likely to be one of the girls. Frank knew better than to let anyone else upstairs before dark. There were a few wealthy gentlemen who had private arrangements for her time, and she no longer needed to bed a saddle tramp to secure her next meal. She was not expecting one of her special customers; they would be far too cautious to venture to her room during daylight, no matter how dire their circumstances. Still clad in only a camisole beneath her dressing gown—a blue and red China silk robe that had been a present from one of her admirers who had traveled to San Francisco—she opened her door expecting to find Annie or one of the other younger girls. They often came by before the night’s activities to share gossip they’d overheard in the saloon or complain about one of the other girls. Or to share their fantasies about a future they were unlikely to realize. She didn’t disabuse them of that notion, because they had little enough in life without stripping them of hope.
“Kate!” Mae took Kate by the arm and pulled her inside. “You’re the last person I expected.” She glanced up and down the hall, saw no one else, and firmly closed the door. “Where’s Jess?”
“She’s out on the range with Jed for a few days. I’m visiting my parents.”
“Lord. Are you never going to learn you can’t be seen here?”
Kate laughed, loosening her cloak and removing it as she deposited a basket on a nearby table. “Are you never going to learn that I intend to visit my friends regardless of where they may live?” She turned, meaning to give Mae a welcoming hug, then stopped when she saw that Mae was not dressed. “Oh, I’m sorry. You weren’t expecting visitors and here I am barging in.”
“Don’t be silly. You’d be about the only visitor I don’t mind having this time of day.” Mae gave Kate a quick squeeze, drawing back with her hands on Kate’s forearms when she felt her stiffen. She cocked her head and studied the faint blush on Kate’s cheeks. “Something wrong?”
“Oh no, of course not,” Kate said too quickly. Mae was barely dressed, and what little she did wear did nothing to hide her shapely figure.
“Why, Kate Beecher.” Mae laughed, reading the discomfort in Kate’s expression. “Don’t tell me that a woman like me could stir you up when you’ve got the likes of Jessie Forbes in your bed at night.”
“Certainly not,” Kate said primly. “I consider myself as married as any woman with a husband.”
“Oh, and I suppose you think that means they never appreciate a man other than the one they’re tied to?” Mae poured tea from the late supper tray that Billy had just brought her from the hotel.
Kate took the offered cup and settled into one corner of the settee. “I don’t know how they feel. No one but Jessie has ever made me…all churned up inside.”
“But you notice women differently now, don’t you?” Mae slipped behind a dressing screen angled in the corner of her bedroom and exchanged her robe for a dress. When she sat next to Kate, her own teacup in hand, she said, “Because of what being with Jessie has brought to life in you.”
“I do, sometimes. Appreciate them.” Kate regarded Mae seriously. “Is that…natural, do you think?”
“Oh, honey, you’re asking the wrong person.” Mae rose and exchanged her tea for brandy. She looked to Kate. “Are you of a mind for a small drink?”
“No, I shouldn’t.” Kate smiled in fond exasperation at the thought of her mother’s reaction. “My mother is coping as best she can with me le
aving home and being with Jessie, but if I arrive smelling of spirits, I’m afraid it will be her undoing.”
Chuckling, Mae sat down again. “Natural, you asked. Lord, when you’ve seen the things I’ve seen, you learn pretty quickly that people are a complicated bunch. I know for a fact there are men and women who prefer their own kind, in and out of bed.” She sipped her brandy and eyed Kate. “You know that’s my way, but I can sit here and think you’ve got eyes prettier than a starry night and not get stirred up.”
“And I think you’re…beautiful,” Kate confessed, “but I don’t feel—” She blushed again. “I don’t believe anyone could make me feel the way Jessie does.”
“Mmm. Why thank you, for the beautiful part. And lucky for Jess to have a woman who sees only her.” She patted Kate’s knee. “And lucky you for having her, because I know for a fact it’s the same with her.”
Kate glowed with pleasure, feeling only a little strange talking to Mae about Jessie, when she knew that Mae had wanted Jessie. But she didn’t know anyone else like herself in whom to confide. Now that she and Jessie were together, she felt different inside. It was more than just loving Jessie and wanting to express that love with her body. She knew it wasn’t an accident that she had fallen in love with Jessie. She had fallen in love with a woman because somehow, that was meant to be. That was why she’d never cared for the suitors who had pursued her in Boston or for Ken Turner here in New Hope, either—a perfectly nice man for whom she had no feelings whatsoever. “I just know that I’m not the same as my friends, even though they don’t seem to think I’m all that different.”
Mae sipped her brandy thoughtfully. “Do any of them ask you about being with Jess?”
“You mean…about lying with her?” Kate laughed. “Goodness, no. Even when they’re talking about relations with men, it’s all whispers and secrets.”
“Well, most folks just look the other way rather than see things they don’t understand or that upset them.” She shrugged. “It’s not always a bad thing, I suppose.”
“Why do you think we like one person and not another…that way?”
“I don’t know how that comes about,” Mae said with some consideration. “I always have admired the women like Jess.”
“Like Jessie?” Kate considered her lover and found it impossible to define all that she was. She was beautiful and strong and tender and stubborn and oh so wonderfully loving. Surely there was not another woman in the world like her.
“The strong-minded, stubborn type who like doing what most folks call men’s work because it comes natural to them. And,” she said with a saucy grin, “I do like a woman in pants.”
“Well, there’s not much of a chance for you to see that.” Kate smiled. “But I love the way she looks in pants, too, and I can’t imagine her in anything else.”
“Can’t imagine you’d get her into anything else.”
“Besides, wearing them makes perfect sense. Trying to do anything out on the ranch in a skirt is just impossible.” Kate finished her tea and took one of the crackers from a saucer next to the pot. “I’m going to do something about my clothes so I can ride easier and get around without tripping myself.”
“A lot of women on the ranches wear split skirts. Or pants. Nobody thinks much of it.” Mae poked Kate’s shoulder playfully. “But if you start wearing them around town, there’ll be talk.”
“Oh, I wasn’t planning on that. I can just imagine how quickly my mother would hear about it.”
“Faster than lightning.” Because she was enjoying the rare moment of female confidence in which she felt no need to hide anything, Mae added, “The new doctor in town dresses a lot like Jess. She’s pretty much the opposite in every other way, though. Like night and day.”
“She? I knew a woman in Boston who was studying to be a doctor—a student in one of my father’s classes. No one believed she would really do it.” Kate sat forward eagerly. “You’ve met her? This doctor?”
Mae nodded.
“What’s she like?”
“Hard to say,” Mae said quietly, thinking of the ghosts and secrets that shimmered in Vance’s dark eyes. “She doesn’t say much about herself.” She stood abruptly, unable to contain the urge she had to ease Vance’s pain, and began to pace. “She’s good with the girls. She doctored them last night.”
Kate watched Mae, never recalling seeing her so agitated. Mae was always so cool, always standing back and laughing just a little bit at others’ foolishness, and her own. Now her voice trembled and her expression was distant, as if she were somewhere else. Carefully, Kate asked, “And she’s like Jessie? Like us?”
Mae halted abruptly and regarded Kate intently. “Like us? Liking women, you mean?”
Kate nodded.
“She hasn’t given any sign of it, but then again, most don’t.” Mae sat down with a sigh. “Even out here where some women go our own way and make our own lives, it doesn’t pay to remind folks of it.” She squeezed Kate’s knee when she saw her look of concern. “But don’t you worry. Everyone loves Jessie. She’s been part of this town almost as long as the town has been here. The way I hear, her father built that ranch when New Hope wasn’t much more than a few mining tents beside a dusty road.”
“But now I’m with her,” Kate said quietly. “I won’t have anyone hurt her because of me.”
“No one’s going to hurt either one of you,” Mae said vehemently. “First of all, Jess wouldn’t allow it. Secondly, neither would we.”
Kate touched Mae’s hand. “You’re absolutely right.” She gave Mae a sly smile. “So finish telling me about the new doctor. What does she look like?”
“Mmm, like I said, a little like Jess. Tall, like she is, with the same kind of strong face and rangy build. But she’s dark, where Jess’s light, and she’s been…hurt.” Mae closed her eyes against a sudden surge of pain that settled around her heart. “She lost her arm in the war back East. She joined up to doctor the wounded and was shot right near the end.”
“Oh, my. How brave. How…wonderful of her.”
“Crazy of her, you mean,” Mae said bitterly. “Going off to fight in some war that even the damn foolish men should’ve had more sense than to get into.”
“You don’t mean that,” Kate said gently. “You’re just upset because she was hurt.”
“I can see it, in her eyes. What it did to her.” Mae’s eyes swam with tears. “It broke something in her, and she’s bleeding still.”
“Maybe she just needs more time to heal.”
“You can’t heal a wound when the bullet’s still in there.” Mae rubbed her fingertips over her closed lids. “I don’t even know her. Can’t think why it upsets me so much.”
“She means something to you, I can tell.”
“No. Not that way.” Mae shook her head impatiently. “Sometimes I just get tired of the misery.”
“Well, maybe she’ll find something in New Hope to help her heal.” Kate smiled inwardly. Or someone.
“Maybe so.”
“I brought you something.” Kate rose to fetch her basket and then sat down again. She searched inside and then handed a slim volume to Mae. “Here.”
Mae held the book gently, tenderly rubbing her hand over the surface. “A Tale of Two Cities by Mr. Charles Dickens.” She looked at Kate with shining eyes. “Oh, this is fine, Kate. But you shouldn’t be lending your books.”
“Jessie brought me some books when I was sick. She bought them on one of her trips into Miles City for supplies. I already had this copy and she gave me another, so this is yours to keep.” Kate ducked her head. “I know Jessie lends you books, because I saw a thank-you note from you in one of them.”
“Kate, now that you and Jessie are together—”
“You and Jessie are friends, and I know she cares for you.” Kate held Mae’s gaze steadily. “And I know you care for her.”
“You know a lot for someone who a year ago had never been kissed,” Mae said with a soft laugh.
; “I’ve made up for that.”
“You know Jess would be mortified if she knew we were talking about these things, don’t you?”
“And that’s why she’s not here.” Kate looked at the timepiece pinned to her dress. “I must go before it gets much darker. I hope you like the book.”
Mae held it to her breast. “I love it. Thank you.”
Kate stood and gathered her things. At the door, she gave Mae a long hug. “I want to meet this doctor of yours sometime. Maybe you can bring her by the ranch.”
“It’s not like that, Kate. Besides, I don’t think the town’s doctor is going to want to be seen out riding with me.”
“It seems to me that a woman brave enough to fight for what she believes in wouldn’t put much stock in the opinions of foolish people.”
“You think highly of people, Kate. You’re young still.”
“What’s her name?” Kate asked, ignoring Mae’s dark mood.
“Vance. Vance Phelps.”
“I like the way that sounds. Good night, Mae.”
“Good night.” Mae carefully closed the door. Vance Phelps. She liked the way it sounded, too.
*
“Well,” Clarissa Mason said as she lifted a biscuit from the tray Martha Beecher extended. “Rose and I came in on the stage late last week with the town’s new doctor.”
Kate looked up from her sewing, alert to the censure in Clarissa’s voice.
“Really?” Martha said, trying to hide her eager curiosity.
“Oh yes,” Rose interjected before her mother could continue. “She’s quite intriguing. She wa—”
“Hardly intriguing,” Clarissa said sharply. “Impertinent and inappropriate would be more the word for it. Dressed like a man, for heaven’s sakes. And who’s to say she’s even a doctor.”
“Dr. Melbourne apparently believes her to be,” Kate said reasonably, although her temper put an edge to her tone that had her mother giving her a frown.