I guessed I didn’t have much choice but to trust him.
Isaac stepped away from me and moved to the front of one of the couches, where there was a woven rug on the floor and a pine coffee table on top of it. He lifted the coffee table with ease and placed it to one side, off the rug. Kingsley stepped in to help him, and the two of them crouched at one end of the rug and started to roll. I watched, confused at what was going on. They rolled the rug to the end, revealing a square cut into the middle of the wooden flooring. I understood what I was seeing—a cellar trap door that had been hidden from immediate view. Both Isaac and Kingsley got their fingers under the edges and pulled up. That portion of the floor lifted, revealing a hole underneath, and I could just see a kind of combination of steps and a ladder underneath, leading down to a space hidden beneath the cabin.
Without another word, Isaac stepped down into the hole, disappearing gradually as he took each step downward. When he was down, Kingsley lowered the hatch, but the rug and coffee table remained where they were.
I stared at the spot Isaac had just vanished into. “What’s he doing down there?”
“Making contact with the mother ship,” called Clay. He bounded to his feet and headed into the kitchen. “Now, let’s see what supplies this place has. I could eat a scabby horse.”
I wrinkled my nose at his description. “Hey, can you point me in the direction of the bathroom?”
“Sure, it’s that door over there.” He pointed to one at the back of the cabin. “We don’t have to worry about you trying to escape through the window or anything, do we?”
“I think my escaping days are over.”
He grinned. “Glad to hear it.”
I headed to the bathroom. It was a good size and clean, and there was a window, but I had no desire to attempt to climb out of it. There was also a deep tub, and I looked at it longingly. What I’d give to lounge in hot water full of bubbles for an hour or longer. My body still ached from everything I’d been through. But I didn’t want to look or act like a princess—no matter what Lorcan’s pet name for me might be. I wanted to stand beside the guys as their equal, and they’d never see me that way if I lazed around when there was important work to do.
Between my thighs still felt slick from Isaac’s fingers. I wanted to clean myself up and go back out there feeling stronger. I used the toilet and wiped myself clean, then went to the sink to wash my hands and face. I looked up into the mirror to see a wild-eyed woman looking back. My blonde hair was in tangles around my face, and smudged shadows hollowed beneath my blue eyes. Did I look older than I had a few days ago? Harder? Maybe I’d lost a couple of pounds, and it showed on my face, or maybe it was getting shot at and having to run for my life that had caused the change.
I exhaled a shaky breath and clutched the edges of the sink. My experiences over the last few days flooded over me, hitting me like a sudden wave that took my feet out from under me and sent me spinning. The world suddenly seemed further away, as though I wasn’t quite connected to anything, and the feeling unnerved me. My heart pattered, and my mouth ran dry, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hide from everything. Was this how it felt to have a panic attack? I wanted the guys to see me as strong, not weak, and I fought against my body’s reaction.
Kingsley’s deep, melodic voice sounded in my head. Control your breathing. Breathe in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Feel yourself start to relax ...
I did as the imaginary Kingsley told me, and the world around me started to right itself again. The feeling of the world spinning began to slow until eventually the floor solidified beneath me.
When I felt strong enough, I opened my eyes, though I continued with my breathing. I was tough enough to handle this, I told myself. Plus, I had five men out there who were willing to help me.
It occurred to me that killing Hollan and retrieving the memory stick might only be the start. Finding out what was on there—information important enough for my father to risk everything to protect—might send my world spiraling in a whole new direction.
Not wanting to think about that too much, I ran the faucet, filling the sink up with hot water and soap, then set about cleaning myself up. I washed my face and my body as best I could with the water and a small hand towel. When I was done, I tucked Alex’s shirt into the waistband of my jeans, so it didn’t look quite as billowy on me. I wished I had my own clothes, but under the circumstances, I didn’t think I could complain that I wasn’t overly keen on my outfit.
I left the bathroom and went out into the main living area of the cabin. It was strange to think of Isaac doing something beneath our feet. I looked around to the others. Lorcan was still in the same position on the couch. I wondered if Alex had given him any more painkillers yet, though Alex was nowhere to be seen, so perhaps that was what he’d gone for. Kingsley stood with his back to me, going through the contents of a bookcase on the other side of the cabin.
Clay was busy in the kitchen area, so it was to him I headed. He was the most easygoing out of the group, and I wanted to be around him to help me take my mind off whatever conversation Isaac might be having with their boss.
I approached him cooking eggs on the stove. “They’re powdered.” He apologized, as though it was his fault. “But it’s the best we have.”
“I’m sure they’re fine.” I gave him a tired smile. “What can I do to help?”
Clay frowned and leaned into me. He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, before dropping a kiss on top of my head. “You okay, sugar?”
I nodded. I put my arm around his waist, too, and returned the squeeze. “Yeah, of course. It’s all just a bit overwhelming, you know?”
He glanced down at me, his stormy-gray eyes soft. “I don’t know. This is the only kind of life I’ve ever known. It’s always been danger and running, and thinking someone might turn around and shoot you at any moment. It’s hard to imagine what a regular life would be like.”
I moved away enough to give me space to twist to face him. “Jesus, Clay. That’s no way to live.”
“Isn’t it?” He gave a lopsided grin. “What’s the alternative? A dead-end job and spending every evening sitting on the couch drinking beer until you’re dead?”
My lips twisted and I wrinkled my nose. “It’s not that bad. You have to take pleasure in the little things, like your favorite dessert or a bright fall morning.” Then I shook my head. “Hell, ignore me. I’m certainly not the right person to be giving anyone advice. It’s not as though I’ve been skipping through life, enjoying every moment. My life’s been pretty dark up until now.”
“Up until now? So, you think this is better?”
I hesitated. “Maybe not the kidnapping part, or the getting shot at part, but I guess I’m getting used to having you guys around.”
A voice came from behind me. “You’re always so full of compliments, Darc.”
I looked over my shoulder to see Alex behind me. He reached over the top of my head to open the cupboard and grab a glass, and, as he did so, his long, lean body pressed against the back of mine. I leaned out of the way to let him through. “What I mean to say is that you’re not the kidnapping bastards I’d originally taken you for.”
Clay chuckled. “There she goes again with the compliments.”
I automatically smacked him with the back of my hand.
“So, what food have we got?” Alex peered into the pan and wrinkled his nose. “That looks like shit.”
Clay stirred the eggs. “Yeah, well, we can’t exactly order takeout all the way out here, so we have to make do. I found some bread in the freezer, so we’ll toast it.”
“It’ll be fine,” I said. “Thanks, Clay.”
“There’s coffee, too.” He nodded to the pot brewing.
“Good. I need that more than the food.”
“It won’t be long,” he replied. “I’ll serve it all together.”
Despite his complaints, Alex stepped in beside him. “I’ll help.�
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I’d kicked Alex in the face the first time we’d met, and a part of me still felt a twinge of guilt about hurting him, though there was no way I could have known he was trying to help. Because that’s what Alex did—he was born to help people.
I left Clay and Alex in the kitchen, and went to check on Lorcan. He lay on the couch, his eyes shut as I approached. I thought he was sleeping, and I turned to walk away again and leave him in peace, but he must have heard me because his eyes pinged open and locked with mine.
I gave him an awkward smile that was half an apology for waking him, and half me letting him know I was pleased to see him awake. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”
Lorcan swung his legs off the couch and pushed himself to sitting, grimacing as he did so, his hand covering his injured shoulder as though the pressure would help the pain. One of the other guys had found him a new t-shirt, so he no longer wore the bloodied one Alex had ripped in the back of the car on the way here.
“It’s okay, you can stay lying down.” I put out my hand to try to stop him moving any farther. I didn’t want him putting himself in extra pain because of me.
“Nah, I’m fine.” He patted the spot he’d freed up, and I slid onto the couch beside him. “I wanted to thank you for what you did in the car on the way here.”
I frowned. “I didn’t do anything. It was Alex who helped you.”
He shook his head briefly and glanced away, as though he found what he was about to say difficult. “No, I meant about you holding my hand while he was doing it. It’s stupid, I know, but we don’t really hold hands with the other guys and having you do that helped take my mind off the pain.”
Female comfort. That must be something they didn’t get much of.
I gave a small smile. “I’m sure a girl’s held your hand before.”
He shrugged. “Not like that. Women have always been for one thing, you know? And in our line of work, it’s not as though we can ever get attached. We never know where we’re going to be from one moment to the next.”
I arched my eyebrows. “You’re saying women are for sex?”
“They know the score. We don’t make any promises, because we can’t keep them. It’s one night, no attachments. Feelings never come into it. But when you were holding my hand in the car, it was different.”
I nodded. “Yeah, it was.”
I didn’t tell him that his attitude—or even all their attitudes—to sex was exactly how I had been. They probably wanted me to be some little innocent, but that wasn’t who I was at all. I’d been with men, and done exactly what they did. The moment anyone started to get attached, I was out of there so fast there was dust rising off my heels.
It had been different holding Lorcan’s hand because I had felt something. I’d felt every time he’d winced in pain, and every second that passed since he was shot, I’d prayed he would be okay. Lorcan had been the first to kiss me, the one who’d instinctively seemed to know what I needed to bring me out of the hypnosis nightmare I’d found myself in. Before then, he’d seemed so distant, but now I thought he was just one of those people who watched and waited, and drank everything in, until the moment arrived where he needed to act.
“Anyway,” he exhaled a breath, his head dropping down onto the back of the couch, “I’m glad you were there, that’s all. I just wanted to say that. I wanted to say thanks.”
He looked exhausted all over again, and his eyes slipped shut. I held back for a moment, and then impulsively leaned in and kissed Lorcan’s cheek. His skin was rough from the dark stubble that poked through, and I resisted the urge to run my finger down the cleft in his chin. He opened one eye and side-glanced me, a hint of a smile tweaking his lips. I couldn’t help smiling back, and a bubble of something swelled inside my chest. What was that feeling? It had been such a long time since I’d experienced it, it took me a moment to place. Happiness. Was I happy right in that moment, even though we’d been shot at, and the house had burned to the ground, and there was a good chance my Aunt Sarah was in danger? Yeah, here, with the guys, I felt good. Safe, and actually cared about. My aunt had always cared about me, but it was different with family. There was always a part of you that figured the only reason they cared was because you were bound by blood.
The guys had chosen to protect me.
Chapter Three
“Grub’s up!” Clay called, plates slamming down onto the small kitchen table.
I got to my feet just as Alex brought Lorcan a plate so he could eat on the couch.
I looked at one of the empty spaces at the table. “Shouldn’t we wait for Isaac?”
Clay wrinkled his nose. “Nah. He wouldn’t expect us to wait. Depending on what sort of mood the boss is in, he could be awhile.”
I slipped into one of the empty seats. Clay had served me up a portion exactly the same size as his own and the others, even though I was half the size of Kingsley. It wasn’t an exciting meal, not like the Thai curry he’d cooked, but I hadn’t eaten anything since being woken by the alarm back at the house, and that had been hours ago.
Though our circumstances were strange, I liked sitting around the table with all the guys. It made me feel like we were one big family. It had only ever been Aunt Sarah and me, sitting across from each other at the table, and before that it was only me and my dad. I’d never had lots of people around me, and, now that I did, I found I was starting to like it.
“Do you think he’s going to be in a lot of trouble?” I asked, between shoveling forkfuls of egg into my mouth and taking bites of the crispy toast.
Kingsley looked across the table at me. “He’s going to have some explaining to do, that’s for sure. You can’t torch a million-dollar house and not have something to say about it.”
“Shit.” My jubilant mood from a moment ago vanished. He’d had to blow up the house because of me, and I felt horrible that Isaac was now going to catch it in the neck because of something I’d done. Not only that, he wasn’t even going to tell the truth and blame what had happened on me. I fought a sudden urge to jump to my feet and follow him down beneath the house and tell their boss it had all been my fault. But they’d said nothing good would come of that, so I remained fixed to my seat. My appetite had vanished, however, and I pushed my plate away.
“You not going to eat that?” Kingsley asked.
I shook my head, and he reached across to grab my plate and help himself to my leftovers.
Alex frowned at me. “You feeling okay?”
I nodded. “It just bothers me that Isaac is in trouble because of something I did.”
Alex chuckled. “Don’t feel bad for Isaac. He’s a cold son of a bitch. Everything being said to him is probably rolling right off his back. Isaac never does anything he doesn’t want to. If he’s taking this on himself, it’s because he wants to, not because he feels pressured into it.”
I remembered how they’d all allowed me into the rest of the house and out of the cellar, even though Isaac had wanted to keep me down there, and I wondered how much of that was strictly true. But then I thought Isaac should have followed his first instinct and kept me locked up, and we’d still be in the big house instead of the cabin, and Lorcan wouldn’t have been shot.
And you’d still be locked up in the cellar, and you wouldn’t be eating meals around a table with a group of gorgeous, tough, dangerous men.
My thought was entirely selfish, but that didn’t stop me thinking it. Would I rather be locked in the cellar right now, and for none of the events of that morning to have happened? No, I wouldn’t, however horrible that made me sound.
The trap door in the middle of the floor swung open on its hinges—they hadn’t replaced the rug or table, knowing Isaac was down there—and Isaac climbed out. He approached the table. His expression gave away nothing about what had happened down there.
“There’s a plate warming in the oven.” Clay jerked his head back toward the kitchen.
Isaac didn’t make eye contact with me. “Thanks.”
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He went to the oven and opened the door, then used a tea towel to remove the plate. He carried the plate over and kicked out a chair, the legs scraping across the wooden floor, before setting the plate down, and sitting heavily on the chair. Without a word, he started to eat, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Nerves fluttered around in my stomach, but I forced myself to ask. “How did it go?”
He shrugged. “As expected.” He alternated mouthfuls of egg with toast, and the bitter coffee, which had probably started to get cold by now.
“What’s the next move?” Kingsley asked, scraping the final leftovers from the plate that had been mine, and then stacking it with his own empty plate.
Isaac glanced up from his food. “We’re to stay here for the moment.”
“Here?” I asked, looking around at the log walls. It was hardly a fortress. What would we do if Hollan found us and attacked? I didn’t think there were any secret escape routes out of here, unless there was something hidden down in the cellar. “Are we going to be safe if we stay here?”
His head tilted to one side, regarding me. “We’re as safe here as anywhere else, Darcy.”
He hadn’t really answered my question. Did that mean we weren’t safe anywhere?
“And what about the memory stick and Hollan?”
Isaac nodded. “At least I was able to give him the good news that we have the code now. So, yes, Hollan and the memory stick is our next mission. Hollan won’t keep the memory stick at FBI headquarters. He knows if anyone happened upon it, they’d automatically link your father’s death, Darcy, with him. Hollan has a secret hideout of his own where we believe he’ll have stashed the memory stick, but it’s not as though he’ll have it lying around in a drawer. I expect he’ll have it locked away with a code of its own.”
Unraveling Darkness Page 2