The Life After War Collection

by Angela White

  Becky shuddered again. “I should have turned him in.”

  Seth didn’t lie. “Yes.”

  Becky sucked in a ragged breath. “I wish I had!”

  She sounded completely different from the playful flirt they’d all been accustomed to.

  “He’s like Angela and Adrian. That’s why he won’t…wouldn’t die. Except he’s all darkness, where she’s light.”

  Seth had wondered what information Becky might have gleaned from Rick while with him, but he hadn’t expected her to be so observant.

  “I think he was supposed to be one of us. That’s why he’s so full of hate. If we’d found him first… Cesar stole that hope.” Becky trembled, forced herself to go on. “He wanted me broken and bleeding. He said…he said stealing my soul would destroy Neil and Samantha, and through them–Adrian.”

  Becky sobbed, shattering, and Seth gave in, tilting her head back to slant his mouth over hers.

  She responded as if she were drowning, grateful for any distraction that he would provide. His hands would put her back to sleep and she’d be able to try living again when she woke up.

  Lingering in the fog, Adrian watched Becky skillfully guide Seth’s hands, small moans echoing. Now he understood what hadn’t been revealed by his Eagles. Seth was helping the teenager fight Rick’s ghost in a powerful way, one the camp would not condone. Can I?

  Awash in guilt at the answer, Adrian headed for the funeral. Yes, he could. He wasn’t finished playing with her life, either. Becky’s duty to the dream had really only just begun.

  Chapter Nine

  Honor and Confusion

  1

  “Are you sure you should be doing this? John didn’t clear a full course.”

  Angela increased her pace instead of wasting her breath on words. Running helps me think.

  Having the body in motion often sent new ideas and connections through her brain, and Angela knew it was the same for many of their Eagles.

  Marc tried not to stare. Even with bags under her eyes and worried, Angela and those perky breasts were a sight to make a man glad to be alive.

  Angela jumped over the hole in the ground, landing smoothly despite the arm sling.

  Marc hung back, but he was ready to grab her. She wasn’t happy about it, but that was the only way John had agreed to clear her for even a partial workout, and that was telling, considering how grateful the doctor was for Angela’s healing. Both of her secret patients were doing well. Jennifer was currently in Kyle’s tent, once again hiding.

  Angela jogged sharply down the flower-dotted hill. Face tight, she picked up the stride and forced air into her burning lungs.

  Hanging back a bit more, Marc watched her muscles flex as she jumped another wide hole and rolled down a grassy incline. It had to be hurting her, and he knew for a fact that she hadn’t taken a pill. Where was this fire when Kenn was beating on her? he wondered.

  He didn’t understand that surviving it without snapping had taken incredible strength, but Angela didn’t correct him. It wasn’t worth the argument. Let him think Kenn had been able to control her because she was weak. It didn’t matter, did it?

  It shows another way that he doesn’t understand you, the witch stated.

  Angela stored it, but without worry. They didn’t have to be alike in everything, or see all situations the same way.

  Angela’s foot slipped as she hit the next embankment, and she allowed herself to fall into a roll that took her to the bottom with only a grunt of discomfort–much better than hitting her shoulder directly.

  Marc tried not to be offended when she refused his hand, pushing herself up with one arm and a frown. He stared at her for a second of complete bewilderment before jogging to catch up. Would he ever understand what made her so determined that pain meant nothing?

  Angela’s heart thumped. He wanted to know her in those ways that she was still holding back, but she wasn’t sure he was ready to hear the truth, let alone to accept it. In mere months, Adrian has changed me, and I’ll never go back to what I was before.

  They both called greetings as Charlie moved toward them.

  “Hey, boy.”

  “Good morning.”

  Charlie didn’t glance at the men filling in the graves or the crowded mess, taking Marc’s side. He also didn’t say anything.

  That told Angela he wanted to talk to his father.

  “I,” she stated, with dramatic eagerness. “Have a class and a run. Excuse me.”

  Angela went back the way they’d come and both males tried not to frown or remark on it. Neither of them wanted her out of camp at all, but she was clearly stir-crazy. If she could prove she was in shape, Adrian would let her go into Wichita.

  The males waited until she was out of earshot, and then Marc looked at his son with a smile. “Let me guess. Girls, again?”

  Instead of laughing, Charlie leaned in and mumbled, “I can’t stop thinking about them! When does this shit stop?”

  Marc sighed, gaze going straight to Angela’s lightly swinging hips. “When you die.”

  2

  Cynthia nodded to Angela as she went by and got the same in return. She and Matt were working on speech lessons, the reporter insisting on doing it in public for numerous reasons. The biggest was her refusal to be accused of having a thing for someone younger. Too many of this camp’s men had shown that side, and the females were getting tired of it.

  “Do it again,” Cynthia instructed.

  The din of the mess had Matt flustered, cheeks red. He repeated the rhyme, easier this time, and stared up at her in adoration. “That was better, huh?”

  “Yes.” Cynthia’s attention was drawn away as Li Sing came out to personally reload the buffet dishes. Maria had always sent one of her helpers, preferring to remain in the truck where she could take bites of everything unseen. Li Sing liked to circle the tables and make sure people were happy. It wasn’t hard to guess that he had owned a restaurant before the war. The eager-to-please man had been put in charge of the mess and providing Safe Haven with a new menu, a quick choice by Adrian after a snack he was served. The rice patties and bamboo shoots had been covered in beef and gravy, and Adrian had been sold. It was good, considering that all their food was now nonperishable or being raised. Hilda had run out of meal ideas for the items they had in abundance, but Li Sing had added a new item to his menu every week before the war and he’d promised their stocks of beans and rice would yield more than plates of the same. All of them hoped it was true. After six months, most stocks of supplies they were finding had dwindled into small stashes that would hold them for days at a time instead of weeks. Many of their staple items were now only occasional treats.

  Cynthia saw Angela’s shadow a few seconds later–Zack–and approved. Anyone who wanted to cause Angela trouble here would now have a hard time finding an accomplice. The herd knew she was protecting them, even if they didn’t know how exactly. Even nature wasn’t getting the chance to attack them from the bottom again. They were camping on solid foundations and more than a few of the camp were already limping due to sore feet. Concrete sucked.

  Cynthia swept the crowded mess around them, spotting Doug lunching with Maria’s boys, and quickly dropped her eyes at the surprising number of males who tried to catch her attention. It felt so odd to be wanted! She wouldn’t trade it for anything.

  3

  Angela slid into the pharmacy tent with a grimace at the strong alcohol odor. “Hey, Tonya, got a minute? I’d like to–”

  Angela stopped at the sight of Kenn, shirt off and lying on a bedroll behind the makeshift wooden counter.

  Stiffening, she cleared her throat. “Tonya around?”

  Kenn was just as surprised to see her and shook his head. “She has babysitting duty.”

  “Oh. Right.” Angela stared. Even without the layers of fat and cruelty, Kenn’s hard body was enough to make the past come flying back in thick waves.

  “There’s only one thing she wants from you, if you came fo
r more than wipes or Chapstick,” Kenn stated, trying to break the awkward silence.

  Angela turned around, needing to go. The tent even smelled like the past. “What’s that?”

  “A chance.”

  Angela understood that Kenn wanted to speak on behalf of the redhead and locked down on her emotions, making herself wait.

  “Please.” Kenn hoped his faith in Tonya wasn’t misplaced. “She deserves it.”

  Hearing him care for someone was a good moment, and it broke some of the hold the ghosts were gaining. Angela knew she really did need all the hard-assed women she could gather, and Tonya fit that role without a doubt.

  “I don’t know how it would work, but if I didn’t tell Anne no, I won’t tell Tonya that, either,” Angela answered, fear leaving weariness in its place.

  Kenn grunted in satisfaction, and Angela got pissed. “You’d better be sure, Marine! He will banish you for tanking this part of the dream.”

  “I think you’ll be surprised.”

  Kenn’s answer was oddly confident, and held none of the resentment she’d expected.

  Angela sighed restlessly, glancing around. Unlike the mess she’d come to expect from the redhead, Tonya’s tent was orderly, jars and shelves all neatly packed away.

  Angela stored it. “I’m going to hold an official tryout. Have her show up five minutes late. Even if she blows it, the surprise might rattle the two women tied for top and help me pick.”

  “Thought you would have already,” Kenn commented in surprise. “Not smart.”

  Angela swiveled, bracing for the sight of his naked chest, only to find he’d pulled a shirt on.

  Wow. Angela was stunned. She’d never gotten that kind of respect from him.

  “If it were your choice to make?” she questioned.

  Kenn loved it and hated it that she’d asked. He loved the sense of power, but hated the urge to help that usually only Adrian drew from him.

  “It depends on what you need from a right hand,”

  Kenn said, looking away. “Adrian chose me because he knows there isn’t anything he asks of me that I won’t give him or die trying to. If he needed a stronger moral line, he would have picked Neil.”

  “And what if I need both of those, at different times, along with organization and constant communication?” Angela asked, not afraid to reveal these things to Kenn, but very surprised to be taking his opinions seriously. “Who fits that?”

  Kenn snorted. “You won’t like my answer.”

  “I hardly ever did, but tell me anyway.”

  Angela’s tenor was only slightly bitter and Kenn said, “As I’m sure you know, I have a lot of time to observe things now, since most of the Eagles aren’t talking to me.”

  Angela nodded. That would eventually ease.

  “Well, I’ve never seen a more manipulative chick in my life,” Kenn stated ominously. “And that includes you.”

  Angela was instantly intrigued. “Which one?”

  The lowly spoken name was a shock, and Angela immediately left the tent.

  Is he kidding? Is he…right?

  Maybe. Damn.

  Will Adrian be as surprised as I am or did he see this one coming?

  4

  “Will you give your approval?”

  Adrian had been expecting it and asked, “You’ve thought it through? You’re sure?”

  “Yes,” Kyle answered. “She needs someone.”

  “To help or to have?” Adrian needed to know. That would make all the difference to the camp. “Our old world would vote to lock you up.”

  “In the old world, I would have never considered it,” Kyle stated stiffly.

  “And yet, here you are, claiming an underage, pregnant stranger.” Adrian’s tone sharpened. “Can you explain that?”

  “She pulls at me like no one I’ve ever met,” Kyle told him defensively. “She’s brave and strong, and she doesn’t deserve the treatment she’s getting. I promised her she’d be safe here...”

  “And?” Adrian insisted.

  “And, mostly, because I need her,” Kyle muttered softly.

  “The truth, at last.” Adrian sank into the chair he’d first picked out in Vegas, the edges tattered and torn. Like my heart, Adrian thought. They’d just come from the funeral for Lexa, were still in their Eagle gear. The service had been the same for the camp as it had been for the Eagles, only the crowd not as big. Many in the camp were still sleeping off the sinkhole interruption.

  Lexa would have been an Eagle. He had told her that once as she’d writhed beneath him in orgasm. Her quiet strength had drawn Adrian repeatedly to her comfort. Of all his after-war women, she was the one he’d thought might make him a father again. He hadn’t loved her exactly, not like he could Angela if things were different, but he’d honestly wanted her, and that was more than Adrian could say about many of those relief moments. Lexa might even have been carrying his child. John wouldn’t have put it in the report if she were. The doctor had known, had sacrificed the medical tent to him once so that the crippling need could be eased. Lexa had been a safety net that Adrian had taken for granted. Had nature singled her out because of him? The odds were high.

  “It’s a good match.” Adrian let Kyle off the hook, too consumed by grief to continue being a hard-ass. “She’ll have your name and the protection that comes with it. And there won’t be any contact until she’s sixteen.”

  Kyle remembered to breathe, glad he’d controlled himself and remain silent while the boss considered things. Pushing would have been a mistake. Adrian wasn’t in a comfort-giving mood. In fact, he appeared to need some, and the mobster understood why. Losing two females that you were sleeping with was a hard blow for any man to take, let alone one who cared about life the way that Adrian did. That was part of why Kyle had chosen to talk to him now–to provide a distraction.

  Connie’s body had been found further down in the sinkhole, her red top visible once the sun rose. She’d been a distant member of the camp, one who hadn’t really wanted to be a part of it at all with her anti-social views. Kyle had only seen them together once, right after Angela joined, and he wondered now if it had been because of Connie’s long black hair and pale skin.

  Kyle forced his mind back to the issue at hand, thinking Adrian’s ‘tent’ day would be full. “What do I say, when they ask me why?”

  “The truth. You want to be the father of her children–these and future.” Adrian held out his hand. “Congratulations.”

  Kyle shook it, and also his head. “She hasn’t said yes.”

  “When do you plan to talk to her?” Adrian asked.

  Kyle thought of her in his tent, secure with Dog at the flap. He had a quick rookie session to do and then he would spend the rest of his day with her. “Tonight or tomorrow.”

  “And you’ll explain? Expectations should be clear up front.”

  “I expect to marry her.”

  “And do you plan to sleep with her? ‘Cause if so, you need to make that clear during your talk. If not, she’ll assume you’ve made this offer to protect her from all men, including yourself.”

  Kyle frowned, starting to understand.

  “She’s been horribly abused,” Adrian continued. “Right now, she probably thinks she’ll never want another man to touch her. Best tell her up front, give her time to get used to the idea. Otherwise, you’ll be able to say it’s your right as a husband, but she’ll hate you for being tricked again.”

  Kyle got it clearly this time. Adrian was right. He would be honest and tell Jennifer what he expected of their future. There would be a lot of time before, but unless she said no, it would happen, and the real start of it would come tonight, when he followed Charlie’s unknowing advice. The same age, Charlie had given Kyle a glimpse into Jennifer’s thoughts that he hadn’t considered, and a way to be sure she never forgot him. Charlie had said she and Dog got along so well, it was almost as if he was her pup.

  That’s my way in. I’m taking it.

  Adrian saw
the glaze of obsession and knew he’d have to make sure the mobster wasn’t a threat. The feeling was ugly. It was a side of Kyle that he, and no one else, had suspected. The other small disturbances in his camp would slowly sort themselves out, but this one was just as dangerous as the Seth and Becky bomb waiting to hit. In fact, they were identical slugs from the same double barrel. Hopefully not to be shot yet, though. His herd was awfully twitchy.

  Kyle left and Adrian barely noticed. He would have to do something about the jumpiness, something to soothe his people. He had the Eagles now including ground-sweeping patterns during their rounds, but Adrian knew that wasn’t nearly enough. He also needed to squash a few of the rumors of magic in camp. These weren’t coming from Angela healing both Jennifer and John. The few who had been in that tent weren’t a problem. Adrian had no idea which of his wild cards was stepping out of line, only that it wasn’t the elder ones.

  Tap Tap Tap.

  Adrian forced his mind to the coming kai lesson. He would worry about all of that after he spent a few minutes feeling male, feeling human. Being responsible for so much death was slowly eroding his soul.

  “Come in.”

  Angela ducked into the tent and Adrian felt his mental confusion clear into one single thought. She’s the key. She’s Safe Haven’s future.

  5

  “These things that I’ve gone through, they’ve changed me in ways that are scary.”

  Adrian studied her thoughtfully. The main lesson was over, but not finished. “You mean for the worse.”

  “Yes. I can be so cold now,” Angela confessed. “Is it supposed to be that way?”

  “It has to be that way,” Adrian confirmed. “How else would you be able to make those hard calls that sometimes hurt everyone in order to help them?”

  Angela was quiet, considering. She’d come up with that much on her own, but there was more to it, and she needed that.

  Adrian knew. “No, it’s not morally correct. Nothing about being a leader is. You’ll lie to one in order to satisfy the other and buy time to make ends meet.”