‘What the hell do you want?’ he said, glaring at me. He had his riding whip in one hand, which seemed very ominous. I still wanted to run but I forced myself to stand my ground, my head held high. I made myself smile.
‘Good afternoon, Mr Tanglefield. Might I have a few private words with you? I feel it will be greatly to your benefit,’ I said.
20
MR TANGLEFIELD STARED at me as if I were talking a foreign language. He took a small step backwards. I accepted this as an invitation and darted into his wagon.
Mr Tanglefield’s wagon was twice the size of Madame Adeline’s, but it seemed more cramped inside. He had any number of chairs and sofas and tables and desks, all strewn with handbills and receipts and account books. There were unwashed cups and glasses on every surface, and ashtrays brimming with cigar ash and stubs. The smell of smoke was thick and stale, and his paintwork had acquired a dingy brown-yellow sheen.
It was an effort not to start scurrying round like a housemaid putting the wagon to rights. I looked around for an empty chair, and eventually stayed standing, clutching my new garment and borrowed hat.
‘Well?’ said Mr Tanglefield.
‘Please, sir, I’d like to join your circus,’ I said, deciding to come straight out with it.
He stared at me and then laughed. It was not a merry sound. ‘Get out. You’re wasting my time,’ he said. ‘You’re a country girl. You have to be brought up in the circus to be truly skilled.’
‘Oh, I totally agree, sir. I cannot tumble or walk the tightrope or ride bareback and I don’t have a knack with animals. But I have other skills that could be immensely useful to you. I am a professional seamstress, for a start. I can work magic with a few scraps of material. Your star turns are magnificent, sir, but I couldn’t help noticing that their costumes are a little shabby. I could sew fine new frocks for the ladies and fashion the prettiest little outfits for your child star Diamond. I would not confine myself to costumes for your human stars. I feel the animals would benefit too.’
‘You’re going to put jackets and breeches on my lions and bears?’ said Mr Tanglefield, going to his mirror and continuing with his blacking.
‘Oh, very droll, sir,’ I said. ‘No, of course not, but I feel the troupe of performing monkeys could indeed sport little costumes. The smallest one already wears a doll’s dress in the ring, but it’s a little bedraggled. Think how charming it would look in baby clothes, with the rest of the troupe dressed in style, the males in jackets, pinstripe trousers and miniature bowler hats and the little furry ladies in long frocks and mantles and dainty bonnets. They would look adorable. Children would love them and beg to come back again and again to see the little monkey people.’
Mr Tanglefield paused in his blacking. He stared at me in his mirror.
‘And then there’s Elijah,’ I said. ‘I’m not sure if you have any idea how exciting it is for country children to see such a fabulous beast. I remember simply encountering Elijah as one of the most amazing incidents of my childhood – spotting his great head high above the hedges as he plodded along to the meadows. But I think you could make him look even more exotic and extraordinary!’
‘Now I know you’re mad,’ said Mr Tanglefield. ‘What kind of apparel do you have in mind for my elephant? A frock coat, and gaiters on each foot?’
‘You’re quick with your quips, sir – but I beg you to take me seriously. It’s sad to see Elijah act the clown in the ring. It takes away his dignity. Why not be true to his Indian origins? Deck him in jewelled cloth and paint his great head. Attire your good self in the robes of an eastern prince, in rich hues of scarlet and gold and purple. Then when you ride into the ring, everyone will gasp at the spectacle.’
Mr Tanglefield turned round, taking me seriously at last. He held out an arm as if imagining it clothed in scarlet silk. ‘You could fashion such a garment?’ he said.
‘Sir, strange garments are my speciality. I fashioned the costumes for the world-famous Clarendon’s Seaside Curiosities. Once you’ve dressed a female giant and clothed a mermaid, tail and all, you know you can tackle any project.’ I paused, then lowered my voice to what I hoped was a beguiling whisper. ‘You would cut a fine figure in such a costume, sir – and your hair would be entirely hidden beneath your turban, rendering all cosmetic disguises unnecessary.’ I gave a discreet little nod at the shoe blacking.
‘But I can hardly stay in eastern costume while I am ringmaster,’ said Mr Tanglefield.
‘I think it is a little beneath you, sir, to have to act as ringmaster when you own the entire circus and the most exotic act. After you have taken Elijah through his paces you should recline elegantly on a little gold throne in front of the band, presiding over the circus. When every turn comes tumbling into the ring, they should bow to you first before commencing their act. It would give you such regal authority, don’t you think?’
I swept him a low bow myself so he could see what I meant. He couldn’t help smirking and standing straighter, snapping his braces into place. But then he frowned again.
‘But someone needs to announce each act properly,’ he said.
‘Exactly, sir!’ I said triumphantly. ‘Allow me to show you who I have in mind!’
I shook out my red garment and put it on. It made a fine riding coat. I had worked golden frogging across the chest. I tucked up my skirts until they were invisible. Mr Tanglefield gasped when I exposed my legs, but they were decently covered in Madame Adeline’s white tights, which made them look very shapely. I stuck the black stovepipe hat on my head and stood with one hand on my hip, my chin in the air.
‘Allow me to present my very own self. I am Emerald Star, ringmaster supreme,’ I said. ‘Once funds permit I will sport a proper top hat and riding boots. Meanwhile you will have to picture them in place. I shall present all your acts, Mr Tanglefield, in the following manner.’
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs. ‘Ladies and gentlemen!’ I bellowed, making Mr Tanglefield blink and step backwards. I had no need of his tinny loudhailer. My voice was loud enough to circle any tent. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, little children and babes in arms – take heed! You are about to see sights that will dazzle your eyes and delight your hearts. Here is the amazing, magnificent and ultra-marvellous Tanglefield’s Travelling Circus, come trekking cross-country to perform twice daily in your very own village. May I present to you Mr Tanglefield himself, in the guise of an Indian sultan. Gaze at him in awe and wonder on his extraordinary exotic beast, Elijah the performing elephant. Wave your long trunk at all the children, Elijah – and they will give you a loud cheer.’ I paused momentarily, and then continued, ‘Oh, prepare to hold your sides and squeal with laughter at the comical antics of our two clowning gentlemen, Mr Chino and Mr Beppo. Better duck now, ladies and gentlemen in the front row. You’re in danger of getting a bucket of water thrown all over you. Do you want to see Mama and Papa having a public wash, little children? Shout now if the answer’s yes!’
I worked my way through every single act. I waxed particularly enthusiastic over our child acrobat, the tiny sparkly Diamond, little more than a baby, yet already the star of our show. I saved my greatest praise for Madame Adeline, the empress of the equine world, magnificent on her glossy stallion Midnight, here to delight you with her grace, her agility and her dancing.
Then I summoned all the acts to parade around the ring, instructing my imaginary audience to applaud until their palms stung. I led the clapping myself, stamping my feet too, while Mr Tanglefield slumped back in his chair, his mouth open.
‘There!’ I said, twirling round. ‘Do you see, Mr Tanglefield, sir?’
‘Yes, I see,’ he said, blinking as if dazzled. ‘What did you say your name was, girl?’
‘I am Emerald Star,’ I said. ‘A name you won’t forget again.’
‘That’s true enough,’ said Mr Tanglefield. ‘Well, run along and let me prepare for tonight’s performance.’
‘What? But – but, sir, I entreat you
, give me another chance. I know I can drum up trade for you and encourage the audience into fervent appreciation. My tongue is my circus skill and I will wag it for you tirelessly.’
‘I can well believe it, Emerald Star. But keep it shut up in your mouth inside my wagon. I’m still reeling from the noise.’
‘But won’t you let me persuade you—’
‘You’ve already persuaded me. You’re hired.’
I stared at him, dazed.
‘Ah, cat got your tongue at last!’ he said, breaking into a wheezy little laugh. ‘Report here first thing in the morning. We’re travelling tomorrow. You can help break up the ring.’
‘Yes, sir,’ I said. Then, ‘What about my wages?’
‘Wages! You’re just a child. You’ll be getting free board, and lodging too. I’ll be acting like your parent,’ he said. ‘You don’t pay your children.’
‘I’m not a child any more, I’m fifteen – and I’ve already got a parent,’ I said. ‘I have a tall strong father who’d hate to see his daughter exploited. I’ll be sewing for the company as well, remember. I want at least ten shillings a week.’
‘Ten shillings! A chit of a girl like you is barely worth ten pennies.’
‘Then I’ll find another circus, sir, with an owner who’ll appreciate my skills and pay accordingly,’ I said, my head held high. I was taking an immense risk, but I wasn’t going to be cheated out of a proper wage.
We argued – but Mr Tanglefield didn’t tell me to be on my way. He grudgingly offered me five shillings. I poured scorn on that suggestion. I actually turned on my heel and opened the door of his wagon.
‘Wait!’ he said. ‘Seven shillings and sixpence a week, and that’s my final offer.’
‘Accepted – for a three-month trial,’ I said. ‘And then I will claim my ten shillings, and you will happily pay me every penny because you will see I am worth it. Is it a deal, sir?’ I stuck out my hand.
He stared at me. His arms stayed resolutely by his sides for at least a minute, while we both breathed heavily. Then, very slowly, his arm lifted and we shook hands.
‘Where are you going to bed down?’ he said. I wasn’t sure I liked the way he was staring at my exposed legs. I untucked my skirts quickly. ‘I’ve got the biggest wagon. I suppose you’d better bunk down in here with me.’
‘Oh no, sir, that’s definitely not part of the bargain,’ I said quickly.
‘I meant in your own bed, of course,’ said Mr Tanglefield.
‘Well, that’s very kind of you, sir, but don’t worry, I won’t need to cramp you. I shall be sharing with Madame Adeline,’ I said.
I got myself out of his wagon while the going was good and ran towards Madame Adeline’s.
‘Hey, girl, where are you going?’ called mean Mister Beppo, doing his best to look menacing. ‘No strangers allowed here.’
I saw Diamond’s anxious face peeping out from under one of the wagons.
‘I’m not a stranger here, Mr Beppo, sir. I’m the new star act,’ I said. ‘Just ask Mr Tanglefield if you don’t believe me.’
He stared at me while I swept him a bow, flourishing my stovepipe hat. His face creased in contempt, but he didn’t say another word. I heard Diamond gasp and giggle beneath the wagon, but I didn’t react to her because I didn’t want her hateful Mister to discover her favourite hiding place. I was going to look after Diamond properly when I was part of this circus. Mr Beppo beware: I was going to be like a second mother to her.
I rushed up to the green wagon and tapped on Madame Adeline’s door. ‘It’s me, Hetty, your Little Star. Guess what, I’m going to be a big star now, really, truly!’ I declared.
For a full five minutes dear Madame Adeline thought it was all just fancy. I had to demonstrate my skills as a little ringmaster before she truly believed me – but then she threw her arms round me and hugged me close. I think she wept a little, because my cheeks grew wet, yet I knew I wasn’t crying.
‘Mr Tanglefield even offered me a bed in his wagon!’ I said.
‘No, you absolutely mustn’t do that!’ Madame Adeline gasped.
‘Of course not. I want to share your wagon, if that’s all right with you. I can make do with a little mattress on the floor and I’ll hide it away neatly in the morning. I’ll keep everything truly spick and span, and I’ll buy all the food out of my new wages and do all the cooking. I’m very practised at soups and stews, and given an oven I can make an excellent apple pie.’
‘Oh, Hetty, of course you can share with me. It will be my total pleasure,’ said Madame Adeline. ‘But I still feel you’re making a very reckless decision. You know the circus can be a harsh and ugly place. The men are hard and often brutal. The women are sometimes treated badly. Folk might flock to see us and gawp, but they look down on us too.’
‘I’m used to that! Try being a foundling child.’
‘But you’re not a child now, you’re a young woman. You need protecting from all those stares and sniggers,’ said Madame Adeline.
‘If I can survive the stares and sniggers at Mr Clarendon’s Seaside Curiosities, I can take a few country whispers,’ I said determinedly. ‘And if I am the new ringmaster I shall get myself a whip. They’ll see I can take care of myself. And I shall take care of you, Madame Adeline, and little Diamond too.’
‘That will be wonderful, Hetty – but what about the people you care for now? Won’t they miss you terribly?’
‘They will want me to be happy,’ I said, though my stomach clenched. ‘I must go and say my goodbyes.’
I felt sick at heart as I walked back to the village. I went to the Maples’ house first. Janet was home from school, and greeted me warmly.
‘You look very flushed, Hetty! Have you been to the circus again?’ she asked, smiling at me.
‘Yes I have,’ I said.
‘You are so sweet. I think you like it even more than the children,’ said Janet. ‘Oh, they have talked of nothing else. They play at being clowns or try to turn somersaults like that scrap of a child – and you should see their chalk portraits of the elephant!’
‘Janet – Janet, I have to tell you something,’ I said softly, scarcely able to speak.
She looked at me anxiously, seeing I was very serious. ‘Hetty? Come up to my room. We’ll talk there,’ she said.
She led me up to her neat little room. I saw her green and white checked notebook on her bedside table and glanced away guiltily.
‘I still keep my journal every day,’ said Janet. ‘Though try as I might, each day is pretty much the same as the one before.’
‘That’s true. But – but my journal will be different, because . . . Oh, Janet, I’m leaving,’ I said.
She stared at me, clearly perplexed. ‘Leaving? You’re going back to your father after all?’
‘No, I’m going to join the circus.’
Janet stared at me. She could not have looked more astonished if I’d said I was off to join the Foreign Legion. ‘You are joking, aren’t you?’ she said.
‘No, I am very serious. I am leaving in the morning. Don’t look at me like that, Janet. I know it might seem a very foolish thing to do—’
‘Yes, it is!’
‘But it’s what’s I want. I know the circus life is hard, but I still want to be part of it. I am going to be the ringmaster! Do you want to hear what I’ll be like? Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, little children, babes in arms—’
But she wasn’t listening. Tears were running down her cheeks.
‘Why are you crying, Janet?’ I asked, perplexed.
‘Because this is terrible news!’ she sobbed.
‘Oh, Janet, don’t cry! You’ve been such a dear friend to me. I will miss you so,’ I said, putting my arms around her.
‘But what about your family?’ she said.
I swallowed hard. ‘I feel bad about leaving poor Mother, but Gideon is so gentle and good with her she doesn’t really need me any more – and I dare say Molly will come calling every day too.’
‘I – I haven’t told him yet,’ I said. ‘I dare say it will come as a shock to him, though he knows just how much the circus means to me. I know he will miss me a little at first—’
‘Hetty, you’re not a fool. You know it will break his heart,’ said Janet.
‘Oh don’t, please. All right, he will be very unhappy at first, but he will eventually forget all about me. You will be his kind friend and eventually he will realize you are worth ten of me.’
‘I think I know Jem better than you do, Hetty. You are the only girl for him. Oh please stay, for his sake,’ Janet begged.
I marvelled at her unselfishness. This was her chance to claim Jem for herself, but she was only concerned for him.
‘I think if I stay I might only hurt him more,’ I said. ‘I love him so much, Janet, but not in the way he wants.’
‘Then you must tell him,’ she said. ‘Don’t think you can run off and just leave him a letter.’
I flushed. I had thought of doing just that, and had hoped that Janet herself might even help break the news to him.
‘I’m not sure I can tell him,’ I said, hiding my face on her shoulder.
She shook me off and made me look at her. ‘You’re many things, Hetty Feather, but you’re not a coward. You have to tell Jem to his face. You surely owe him that,’ she said steadfastly.
I knew she was right. I kissed her, and then went on my way home. I had left a good thick stew bubbling on the stove. I started serving it as Jem came through the door.
‘My, that smells so good!’ he said. ‘You’re an excellent little cook, Hetty. What would we do without you?’
‘Oh, I am sure you would manage splendidly,’ I said, trying not to panic. ‘Gideon can cook much better than me, we all know that.’
Gideon looked at me. ‘Yes, I like to cook,’ he said, trying hard to help me.
‘I know you do, Gideon, and you’re brilliant at it,’ said Jem warmly. ‘But you’re a young man – and try as you might, you can’t quite manage that woman’s touch. Look at the way Hetty serves each meal. It’s a work of art in itself.’
Emerald Star (Hetty Feather) Page 26