by A. B. Bloom
“But what happened?” I didn’t feel like I was being given any answers, just more riddles circling around the truth.
Connor broke the silence by sighing dramatically. “Are we just going to skip around?”
I turned to him, for once hoping that he wouldn’t be an arse and would be on my side. He surprised me with his words. “Just tell her and then we can move on.”
Nick shifted against me and reached his fingers for mine. He didn’t know what had happened either. I didn’t understand it but it seemed the moment I died, he got bounced up into the sky. Nick sniggered low and Connor’s smile morphed into a grin. “Get out my head, Connor,” I snapped. "And you." I frowned at Nick.
I projected an evil glare at Connor, but he laughed more and pointed at Nick. “Okay, you need to stop being so secretive and talk to her. She thinks you’re a rubber ball or something.” He turned to me, mesmerising blues glinting. “Sweetheart, he doesn’t go bouncing up there, happy as Larry while he waits for you to come around again.”
My cheeks heated. “No? What happens then?”
“No.” Connor’s humour dropped like the fall of a final curtain. “No. When you die, he is ripped into shreds. His human body disintegrates until he’s nothing but particles of energy. Little bits of dust, formally the guy you crush over, which are sucked back into the universe and left to hang.”
“That’s enough,” Nick snapped his free fingers, holding his other hand around my own, tighter than was necessary.
My body twisted towards Nick. “Why?” I asked.
He shrugged and he quickly glanced away. “Something else we can talk about later.”
My eyebrows were in my hairline. “There will be a whole lot of talking.”
His lips set into that firm line which I was finding endearingly attractive. “I was afraid of that.”
My eyes rolled and I nudged him with my shoulder.
“So,” Connor interrupted, deciding that our moment was over. “Nick went poof, and you were on the floor. Bronte, can I just add here, death does not suit you in the slightest. Ash was left with half a star crumpled on the floor. Another hostage that was no use to anyone, and his arch enemy charging across the moor towards him.” Connor's eyes flickered towards Kale, who nodded in response.
My legs shifted, my toes tapped the carpet. “So what did he do?”
“He ran, of course.” Connor looked like I should know this.
“And?”
All eyes in the room were on me. Kesh stepped forward. “He ran with Eleanor. We don’t know where they have gone.”
“What?” I leaped from the sofa. I don’t know what I thought would have happened to Eleanor. I guess, if I’d been thinking straight about any of this since my memories had returned, I would have found the answer out already. Instead, I’d just been spinning around. Chasing my tail. Flailing under the enormity of my reality.
Kesh placed his hands on my shoulders, and again that calmness washed over me, but I fought against it. I had star energy too, and I didn’t need to be manipulated anymore. I was tired of being deceived and having my reality changed at the whim of others. He must have been able to sense me pushing him away because he smiled and said, “Very good. We will get there with you, eventually.”
I shook my head and waved him off. “So what about Eleanor?”
“We don’t know.” Kesh’s expression gave away more than his words. “While Nick had possession of your energy and hadn’t fallen back to earth, we had been in a case of status quo, so to speak. You didn’t have any energy, only the limited abilities you were born with. And Eleanor was weak and wouldn’t have been able to strengthen without access to the power you share. So all in all, Ash had nothing to gain by taking her, only a blank playing card.”
I could sense a but. I prompted him. “But?”
“Well, now you have your power again.” His eyes flickered to Nick and I noticed Nick was making a good job of inspecting his boots. “So it’s game back on.” Nick’s shoulders stiffened with Kesh’s words.
My head tilted to the side. “What game?”
“You.” Kesh said. "It’s down to you again, but this time it’s ensuring you survive and keep your energy, so Ash can’t manipulate the star he has.”
“But it’s daylight. Surely the scales are balanced?” I was sure I caught Kesh flick his eyes back over Nick. The scales where the balance of the sky. Daylight would end if Aaron had his way, and the humans couldn’t survive without the sun. Saying that, the stars couldn’t survive without the dark; it was a bleak future whichever way I looked at it. Before Aaron had attacked on the moor, the world had been pitched into an oppressive darkness. Now it seemed to have receded, but in truth, I didn’t know what it meant. I didn’t know what anything meant, not really.
“It won’t last,” he said.
“Okay,” I answered although I didn’t think it was okay. It felt like something huge was still being held back. Something that they didn’t want me to understand. The limited knowledge I did possess spun around in my mind like asteroids across the night sky. “Where are we really?”
I glanced around the room again, taking in the poised shapes of the Stars. Where had they all been while I thought I was attending yet another new school? How long had I been here? It was frightening. I could remember the moor, but everything after that was a clash of reality and fabrication.
A faint pressure squeezed my fingers again and whilst I had no idea what I thought about anything, I knew what I felt about that. I wanted to hold on tight and never let go. I wanted to get to know the person who was squeezing my hand. I wanted to understand him, to find out about the history he could remember but I had no knowledge of.
“We’ve got time.” He leant in towards me and whispered his words under his breath.
My eyes sought his, finding calm in the depth of violet. “Do we?”
His kissable lips, that were so perfect and wide titled into a curve. “Always.”
I worried about what Kale had said about sending Nick away. Nick shook his head slightly, and I told myself it was something he wasn’t worrying about so neither should I. Easier said than done.
My head lifted and I glimpsed Connor watching us. I offered him a small smile but he didn’t return it.
“So, where are we?” I asked again. Kale stepped forward and sat on the couch, effectively sandwiching me between him and Nick.
“We really are in Cornwall.” He gave me a sheepish smile. “I am sorry, Bronte, that we tried to manipulate your memories.”
My lips pursed and I contemplated a response but came up blank. I decide on another question instead. “Why Cornwall? And how long have we been here?” Okay two questions.
Kesh chuckled, although how he was finding any humour in the situation was beyond me. “Here you go.” He lifted an eyebrow at Kale. “I told you she had more questions than possible.”
Pulling a face at him, I waited for my answer.
“Two weeks.” Nick answered for them.
“Two weeks?” I turned, astounded. “Two weeks? You were away for two weeks?” The chain yanked and pulled and I wondered why I hadn’t been able to feel it for two whole weeks? How was that possible? It was the most tangible sensation in my body. How had I forgotten him for so long? Although had I? Hadn’t I been dreaming of him? Hearing him call my name? Tears sprung along my lashes and using my wrist, I wiped them away like I was rubbing away sleep.
Two weeks?
“How can I only remember a few days?”
A pregnant, heavily expectant pause filled the room until Connor coughed loudly. “You were sleeping, like an angel.” He sneered a little and I wanted to take back my earlier olive branch of a smile.
He laughed at my thoughts and more than anything, I wanted to block him. “You can’t take the smile back, it’s mine. Just like the kiss.” He laughed and tapped his head. “One for the memory bank.”
I hate you, I thought vehemently. He just laughed some more, until Celeste elbo
wed him in the ribs, causing a reverberating crack to echo around the room.
“Ow! You’ve broken my rib.” He rubbed at the spot and winced.
“Stop being an idiot.”
“You stop being a . . .” He trailed off and scowled at everyone. “Ugh. Forget it.” And with his words, he stalked off.
“Okay,” Kesh soothed. “Let’s all just calm down. It’s been a trying day, nothing is going to change overnight. Bronte is still safe here with us. It will take some time for Ash to realise that the energy has been re-activated. Let's rest and regroup tomorrow.”
“But I have so many questions,” I said. Kesh chuckled and came across to me, placing a hand on my head. It was a fatherly gesture and I wondered why it felt right coming from him, but it wouldn’t from Kale. Kale was watching us from his spot next to me on the sofa. An uncomfortable flush made me pull at the T-shirt around my neck.
Celeste stared at me intently. I knew she wanted to talk to me, I could sense it. There was a connection between us I couldn’t explain. It reminded me of how I felt about Lauren, my lifelong best friend. But then I remembered that Celeste had tricked me. That she'd followed orders to protect me, because I was a weapon in their war, not because we were friends.
The questions whirled around my brain again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Celeste give a small shake of her head and I knew she was telling me not to probe anymore. Why she was telling me that, I didn’t know. But I had every intention of finding out. Every intention indeed.
“I can’t believe you tried to trick me, again.” I folded my arms across my chest and Celeste’s lips curved a little.
“I know. I’m sorry, I feel pretty bad about it.”
Did she though? I needed to know.
I dove in. "I thought we were friends? Friends don't lie."
She cocked her head to the side and watched me through her silver eyes. "Do friends protect one another from harm, no matter what it takes?"
I thought of Lauren. I would do anything to protect her, even lie, I knew this, because I'd already done it.
"Maybe."
She flashed me an enigmatic smile. "So we are friends. It's the truth, and one day you will see it for what it is."
"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes.
She shrugged and glanced away.
I’d made my excuses downstairs, pleading exhaustion, and had come up stairs knowing she would follow. Nick had remained behind. The chain jangled with annoyance. I took stock of my bedroom, which really was my bedroom, so it seemed. In my mind, my past—both real and imagined—clashed together like a school percussion band. It clanged and banged making me wince.
“Can you remember how your energy felt?” she asked, coming alongside the bed and dropping onto the mattress with easy grace.
“I can feel it now.” I tested the feeling deep within me. It was like nothing I could describe, it felt like a deep pulse that hummed within my blood. Not even within my veins, but in the blood itself. Within every cell there was an energy generating a power that coursed through me. Trouble was, I didn’t know what to do with that power. I’d barely understood it when my initiation into what it could do was cut short by Aaron on the moor. Ash. I reminded myself. He wasn’t Aaron to me anymore.
I knew I could transform myself into anything: different hair, different clothes, should I wish. As vain as it sounded, when I’d come upstairs I’d taken a moment to just look at myself in the mirror. It felt reassuring to see just me. My flat chest, straight hair and angled bones were in all the same places they’d always been.
“You gave me curly hair and an arse you could park a car in.” I frowned as she burst out a peal of laughter.
“It was a disguise.” She shrugged. “What did you think, we’d make you look like a supermodel?”
“Well, no.” The humour died on my lips. “What the hell happened on that moor, Celeste? Why’s it taken two weeks for Nick to come back and for me to remember who I am?”
Memories flickered through my mind as if on a silent movie reel and my heart thumped unevenly. The sensation of running over the uneven grass, my fingers entwined with Nick’s. Over our heads, a shower of coloured sparks had exploded. Like it was yesterday, I remembered Nick shouting it was star dust falling onto our clothes and skin. I suppose in my head it had only happened the day before. “I thought you were dead, I saw coloured sparks, the colour of your soul. And Connor . . .” I trailed off here. I’d felt such a pang in my heart for Connor. It was tragic really. The star who was fated to be with the last star child. But then when I'd turned up, I'd been matched instead to his brother.
Then I remembered how annoying he was and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to feel sorry for him or smack him about the head.
“The head, always the head.” Celeste grinned.
“You really need to teach me how to block all you nosey intrusive thought readers.”
“Do you want to do that, or know about the moor?”
It was a tough call, but I knew that Celeste would tell me the truth. I didn't believe she would lie again.
“The moor.” I said, although my words were useless. She already knew my choice once I'd allowed the thought to form in my mind. “Why did Nick want to put me in a coma?”
This had cut me when he'd told me the truth downstairs. When Nick had first entered my life and I found out who I was, we'd kissed and I'd fallen into a coma. But at the time, he'd told me it was my energy that had sent me into the dark abyss for days on end. Now I no longer knew what was the truth.
“It’s hard to explain, it’s to do with your energy, I think.” Celeste clarified to my thoughts even though I hadn’t spoken out loud.
“Why?”
She shifted on the bed. “Well, when Nick has met you before, in, uh, other lives, you’ve just been normal, human.” A pause filled the air as she thought of how to say the words. “But now you are half a star, you've got a power that none of us ever imagined. That was not ever meant to happen. It's all unexpected and to be honest,” she clucked her tongue in annoyance, “We probably should have considered it more, instead of waiting for it to escalate the way it has.” She tilted her head to the side and contemplated. “You’ve never known what Nick was before. We don’t know what that means. It might be too much for you. Maybe it’s a step too far against the rules?”
“Oh my goodness, whose damn rules are these that I keep hearing about?”
Celeste groaned. “Contrary to how it may seem, we aren’t totally ungoverned. There are rules we must abide by. No creating star children, for example, that was a rule." She scrunched her face, her nose wrinkling. "We all know how that turned out." she waved her hand at me with a flourish. "Well, Nick has rules he has to live by. If he doesn’t? Well, who knows?”
This sounded ominous. And then some.
"And these rules?" I was desperate to get my head around them. "The council set them? Whoever they may be?"
Her eyes pinched around the edges. "Yes."
"And should I be quaking in my boots in case the council come for me, or for Nick?" I was sure this was the root of it all, the basis for the unspoken riddles that had filled the lounge.
Celeste nibbled her lower lip, her fingers plucking at the duvet on my bed. "Yes." Her response was low.
"Why?"
She shrugged and I knew she wasn't going to tell me. Maybe she could keep secrets after all. I groaned and threw myself back on the bed trying to make sense of it all. How could I make sense of it? It was impossible.
I leaned up on one elbow. “So, Nick and I can’t kiss, without me exploding into white flames and passing out into a coma?" This sounded ridiculous and downright unenjoyable. “No, wait!” I held up a hand. “We kissed today and I didn’t explode.”
Celeste wrinkled her nose again, this time accompanying it with a gagging sound. “I would imagine there was an element of control on Nick’s behalf.”
“Oh.” An empty void filled my stomach when I realised he’d been holding bac
k from kissing me. It was like keeping secrets.
“I think that’s a conversation you need to have with Nick.” She laughed a little and it lifted the atmosphere. “So do you want to know what’s been going down or what?”
“Yes, of course I do, tell me everything you know.”
“Promise not to get cross?”
“Promise.” I settled back ready to hear all the thing’s I’d been missing.
I’d been laying on my back, staring at the ceiling for an hour after Celeste had left my room. It was strange to think the walls in my real home were the exact same colour as I'd chosen here. And that the walls were the same colour as mine and Nick's’ soul. I always chose violet even when I couldn’t remember him. My eyes stung as I contemplated the enormity of this. Even before I knew him in this life, my subconscious screamed the colour of his soul in everything I did.
As I lay there in the dark, I ran through childhood memories like flicking through a photo album. I could remember the tantrum I’d thrown one Christmas, when the violet coloured My Little Pony had sold out. I could remember my first foray into painting my nails had been a matt violet that my mum had told me was entirely inappropriate for a girl of my age. I could remember year in year out, my birthday presents being wrapped in violet paper. It was like the universe was trying to tell me something—telling me to wait for him because he would be coming.
I wondered if the other versions of me had been the same. Had they known deep in themselves that he was coming to meet them? Or was I the only one, because I was half star and was different?
What Nick had done on the moor, I didn’t know if I could ever understand it. Celeste had filled me in with a no holds barred recount; he’d taken such an enormous risk in absorbing my energy. When he’d laid his hands on my back and told me to trust him, I’d done it blindly. I'd not known that no other Star had ever absorbed another’s power before, and survived. You could steal a star’s energy, and it would kill them. To syphon some off, and keep enough balance so that no one died? That was something else. Something that no one had previously done. Not until Nick wanted to trick Aaron into thinking I had no power, and that he’d been waiting for sixteen years for nothing. Aaron had been tricked into taking his eyes off the prize—me. Then, Nick had taken the biggest gamble of all, kissing me and allowing our energy to blast me out of consciousness. He wasn’t banking on me momentarily checking out of life as I knew it and him rebounding into the sky.