by A. B. Bloom
He snaked his arms around my waist and he rested his chin on my shoulder. His lips brushed along my earlobe and I held in a shiver as it crept along my spine and sent goosebumps down my skin. “I’m sorry.”
I turned a fraction and placed my lips against his cheek. “I don’t want to fight, Nick, I just want to understand.”
“I know. Can we talk? I want to tell you about Emma and why I didn’t help.”
My mouth fell open. I was never in a hundred years, a hundred lifetimes expecting him to actually tell me anything. “Sure.”
“Come with me.” His fingers weaved through mine and he lead me into the garden where a purple loom was turning the sky into an oppressive backdrop.
We sat on a stone wall, moss curled along the surface providing a cushion for us to perch on. “You know, I’m not always proud of what I do.” His fingers held mine, his thumb running along my palm.
“So what happened? Why didn’t you help save her? I thought saving girls was your thing.”
His lips quirked but when his eyes found mine they were filled with sorrow. “Normally. Yes.”
“But?”
“So when Rose died it was hard. We’d been together sixty years, it was the first time I’d ever managed to live for any length as a man.” His eyes pierced through me. “Because truth is, Bron, I’m not a man. I’m a Star and sometimes it’s hard to keep the two things balanced. I go on and on and on. While you,” he stuttered, “while you don’t.
I had no words. So I sat and stared at him. Waiting.
“After Rose died I went back,” he gestured to the sky. “Not to sulk as Connor would have you believe.” He squeezed my fingers and I flushed a little. “And I waited and waited for you to be reborn. Except you weren’t. It took years. I figured Fate was balancing out the sixty years we’d just had, making me bide my sweet time.”
Still, I had no words, and still, I just watched.
“But then you came again and I fell for you. When we met it was Nineteen Ninety Six and to say you were different to Rose is an understatement. I’d watched you for years in the background until the night I decided to introduce myself. History would have it, well you know, I normally saved you from something catastrophic. It was always a way to break the ice.” His lips curved just a flicker. “This time I waited and waited but nothing happened, you just carried on your daily life, so I decided to step in earlier, introduce myself. You slapped me around the face.”
I sniggered but Nick didn't laugh. His face looked like a tortured statue carved out of ancient marble. “What?”
With a slow shake of the head he lifted my fingers to his lips. “It’s hard for me to talk about this, but I will. Because I want you to understand.”
My heart thudded in my chest. One. Two. Three. Four. Repeat.
“I was angry. Not with you for slapping me, hell, it wasn’t the first time. But I was angry with the Universe. I think if I’d been holding your energy at that point, I would have tried to rip it in half.”
“What were you angry at?” My words were small.
“You were so different. It was different every time, I always felt like I was always on the back foot trying to make you love me. So instead of following you, I ordered a drink. Figured that was what a guy was supposed to do when he’s been slapped in public. It was bourbon and it tasted terrible.”
He stopped talking. His throat bobbed up and down. “What?” My own throat tightened.
“I was sliding the glass across the bar when I felt it.”
“Felt what?”
“The connection between us, our souls, it snapped.” He kept his eyes on the ground. “I chased down the roads searching for you. I found you down an alleyway, your clothes ripped, your bag scattered. A pool of crimson blood under your body.” His eyes fluttered shut, screwing shut so small that wrinkles spread along his cheekbones.
“What had happened to me?”
He shook his head, his eyes still closed. “I’ve never known because you can never remember your previous lives, not until now.”
“Instead of waiting to save you, I let you walk out to your death. I’d known you two hours. Well, I’d spoken to you for two hours.” His shoulders slumped. “That was the shortest time we ever spent together.”
I swallowed around the obstruction in my throat. “So with Emma?” I had to remind myself that this story wasn’t supposed to be about me, it was another young girl who’d had her blood spilt.
“I lost it. I blamed myself. I’d spent forever protecting you, the connection that we have and I allowed it to break. The one time I wasn’t watching, you were killed. The one time I didn’t protect you. Connor called and begged me to go but his timing was off. Your blood was cooling on the cement and I knew I would soon be forced to leave again. I could have fought it, maybe; I’d been known to fight the pull of space before but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to exist anymore. So I refused to help. Now when I’m near Connor all I see are images of Emma lying in a pool of blood, but it reminds me of you that night and how you looked on that alleyway floor.”
I didn’t know how to breathe through this. My heart laboured in my chest. There was too much blood spilt, too many hearts broken.
I turned for him, sliding my arms tight around his neck. “It’s okay.” I shushed my lips against his inky black hair. “I’m here now. It’s different now.”
His eyes found mine. “I know, but I don’t know what that means. I will always protect you, I will never let anything happen to you again.”
“I want to know the truth, Nick. You need to tell me why we are living this cycle.”
His mouth skimmed down my throat, setting flight to a hundred butterflies in my stomach. “I know. I want that more than anything but the stakes have changed and I don’t know what’s happening anymore.”
“Do you think we can win?”
He pulled back and looked at me. “Win what, Bronte? The Stars are cursed to die, you know that. This cat and mouse dance with Ash, it’s just, it’s just delaying the inevitable.”
His words brought back with a dizzying rush the reason I was locked in this house under house arrest. Because the world would end if I couldn’t find a way to make my vote count and turn the scales in favour of daylight. Losing Nick, Celeste and Connor even. Forever.
I balled my hands into fists. “There’s got to be another way.”
Nick shook his head. “I don’t think so, my love.” He placed his hand over mine. “May I?”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure. I’m not mad anymore. Now I’m broken hearted.” He gave a sad smile and I gasped. “Is that how you always feel? Broken hearted?”
“It comes and goes, like the waves on a shore.”
I was at a loss for words so I just stared at him instead. Then I remembered something truly exciting that had slipped my mind. “Look at this.” I moved away a fraction and held my hands in front of him. With a simple thought, I could create a static buzz along the palms of my hand. I pushed them gently together and then when I pulled them apart, tendrils of violet light attached one hand to the other.
Nick’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “What? How did you learn that?” He grabbed my hands and pulled them closer, examining the flickering energy. “That is awesome.” Grinning, he looked up at me with shining eyes. “You are awesome, Bronte.” I thought maybe he was about to say more, give me more, but we were disturbed by Connor banging open the patio door.
“Don’t mind me.” Nick’s back stiffened and he let go of my hands. “It’s for you.” Connor held out a small phone and Nick stood up to take it. With his eyes glancing over me, he gave me a smile and moved away, walking back into the kitchen as he lifted the phone to his ear.
“Yes?” I heard him mumble as he stepped through the patio doors.
I eyed Connor. “What’s going on?”
He shrugged, his blues focused on the point above my right shoulder.
“You know something.”
He shrugged again and
I groaned loudly. “So is this it now? Every time Nick is here, me and you can’t be friends?”
His eyes snapped onto me and I flinched under their stony weight. “Depends.”
“On what?”
The handle creaked on the patio door and Connor stepped away. Before Nick stepped back outside, Connor sent me a piercing look. “On what sort of girl you are.”
I didn’t have time to question his erratic outburst. Nick walked over, his face set, his lips turned down into the firm line I was dreading. His eyes cast over Connor. “It’s time.”
Connor stuffed his hands into his pockets and I glanced between the two of them. “Time for what?” My pulse began to beat erratically.
Nick turned to me. For a split moment that made time stand still, his face was a picture of pain and horror. My entire body trembled. “They’ve found them.”
“What?” I flustered. “But you’ve only been here for a few hours.” He took a step closer but I backed away. “Are you going already?”
Connor snorted and made for the kitchen door. “I don’t think I need to be here for this.” He looked at Nick long and hard. “Be honourable, Brother.”
My eyes were wide as he left and Nick reached for me. “Honourable about what?” I demanded.
“Ignore him,” he soothed, his lips against my hair. “He’s a drama queen.”
Was he? I didn’t know much about Connor but dramatic wasn’t one label I would have given him.
“So have they found Ash?” I wanted to be there. I wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt me, the way he’d betrayed me. I wanted to show him all the things I’d learnt and use them against him. Nick read my mind, his face transforming into an agonised frown.
“No.” He shook his head. “You are staying here, safe, until this is over.” The set of his face told me I wasn’t expected to argue. It made me want to.
I stepped away. “How’s it going to be over?” I couldn’t see how this would end. The vote should be mine. I should be the weight shifting the scale. But how? What about my sister?
Nick ignored my needs for space and stepped right up until his toes brushed my boots. His nose levelled and touched mine. His eyes boring into me. “Do you trust me?”
“That’s a strange question.” I searched his face.
He ran a hand through his hair and I tried to read the violets but failed. “Not really, Bronte. Do you trust me?” Did I? Why did I need to? What was going on? Was there something else he wasn’t telling me? Something else other than the truth about everything. Connor’s words of warning from earlier came back to me but I shook them away. This was Nick. Him and I were beyond anything I could possibly comprehend.
I tried to hold his gaze. “Yes, of course I do. I . . .” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. It was too strange. Could I? Could I be in love with him?
His lips tilted into a small smile. “You can’t even say it.”
I reached a hand for him but he backed out of reach. “That’s not fair.”
The chain stretched to a tautness, making me wince in discomfort.
He gave me a sad smile that made my chest tighten until I couldn’t inhale air. “I love you, Bronte Bell, and I will tell you every day for the rest of my life.” He hesitated, one hand was reaching mid air while the other slid along my cheek. “I don’t want to leave you thinking of what happened to the girl before.” I cringed as I remembered the girl whose life had ended in an alleyway. “Let me show you how much I love you.” A steady hum of warmth pulsed from his palm against my cheek and I leant into it. A vision filled my mind. I was looking at Rose, her hair pinned under a dazzling white veil. A high necked white dress with buttons down the front made her cheeks glow as she smiled and stepped slowly towards, towards, towards, Nick. I gasped out loud at the memory playing out in my head. In her hand she held a loosely tied bouquet of wild flowers, hidden in the depths of the spray were sprigs of wild heather. She didn’t know but as she reached the end of the aisle and held her hand for Nick, a smile beaming across her face, her violet soul reached for him and exploded into a firework display of shimmering iridescence.
Nick pulled his hand from my face and I stared at him, my eyes swimming. “I love you, Bronte Bell.” He clapped his hands together, creating a light of such a vibrant hue, I couldn’t look at it without my eyes burning. ‘What are you doing?” I asked.
“What’s needed.”
I stepped towards him and his burning light flared around me. “Nick?”
“Trust me?” The light started to absorb his body.
“What?” I called.
“Do you trust me?” It was like he was calling through the fog that had swilled around me before he’d arrived and lifted it.
“Yes.” I called.
His smile flashed. “Good. Remember that.”
And then he was gone. He stepped right into the light. Gone. Emptiness rocked through me and my knees shook, threatening to collapse under my weight.
“Whoah, girl.” Connor reached for me, anchoring me towards him. Then the air rushed out of my lungs and for the life of me I couldn’t remember how to fill them.
“Where did he go?” I almost expected Nick to just materialise again, he’d left that quick.
Connor placed both hands on my shoulders. “You are so naive.”
I bristled around my aching chest. “What do you mean?”
Connor eyed me intently. “How come when Nick is around you forget who you are and all you can do?”
I tried to shove away from him but he held me firm. “That’s not true,” I said.
He laughed. In my face. “Yes, it is. If it wasn’t you would have read his mind the way you’ve been happily dipping into mine the last few days.”
I flushed. I couldn’t help it. “So?”
“Then you’d know what he was really doing.”
This time I extracted myself from his restrictive grasp, my arms sliding through his hands. “What the hell are you talking about, Connor? I’m not in the mood for brain teasers.”
He sneered at me, his lip curling. “They’ve found Eleanor.”
His words did something awful to my stomach. It was like a punch that left me doubled and winded. I wrapped my arms around myself tight, like I was trying to hold myself together through sheer force of will. “Has Nick gone to get her, to bring her back?” My words hitched unexpectedly and I found my throat squeezing tightly shut. I hated Eleanor, hated her for making my life a misery. My old life. But she was my sister, and now I knew that Aaron had made her feel the amnesty towards me.
We were twins. I felt in my heart that we could overcome anything.
“No!” Connor barked the word making it snap into the air like a drooling Rottweiler. “They’ve gone to kill her. You, are the last Star child and nothing will stop that.”
My knees folded and I started a quick journey to the tiled kitchen floor. Connor put his arms out and caught me, holding me close to his chest. For a second I stared at him as his startling blues read my face.
“But they can’t.” I stuttered.
His fingers held me tight, digging into my arms until I winced in pain. “No, they can’t. I told you not to believe him, Bron.” He lifted his head and evaluated me. I stared at him right back, refusing to be intimated. “I told you not to be naive, that Nick isn’t honourable.” I tried to fight through his words but my stomach yanked and pulled, twisting and turning. The chain coiled and sprung, rolling my insides until I started to heave and gag, my hand pressed to my mouth. “Are we going to be the ones to stop them, Bronte? Or are you going to let Nick control everything the way he’s always controlled everything you’ve ever done?” My head whirled. Did Nick control me? Was he? Through the nausea I found it hard to remember. Wasn't Nick just here showing me the most romantic moment, a time when we were married and the sky wasn’t about to fall?
“He’s played you.” Connor hissed.
Was Nick going to follow an order and kill my sister? Did Celeste kno
w, was she in on it too? Did Nick just lie to me and leave me standing here while he went to go and change the hand of fate that we’d all been given?
I wouldn’t let anyone, not even Nick, hurt my sister. Not anyone. Never.
My energy spiked and pulsed through me, rushing through my veins, sparking at my fingertips.
Connor watched it grow, a smile spreading across his face. “I think we will make a badass out of you yet.”
I glanced down at my violet hands. The colour reminded me of Nick and it stung like a blade against my heart, but I forced it away. He’d chosen a path I would never be okay with.
I focused on the chain in the pit of my stomach. Imagined the chinks and loops that tethered Nick and I together and then I gasped as the ferocious pain of severance snapped through the chain. I forced myself not to cry out, but I bound my hands tightly around my stomach. I’d broken the chain. I hadn’t meant to. But maybe it wasn’t as strong as I’d believed. Swallowing deeply, I straightened and met Connor's gaze. My body reeled, splintering shards of the chain seeping into my bones. I wouldn't let it show.
“What’s the plan?” I asked.
Connor raised his eyebrows and flashed me a true grin that wasn’t hidden under layers of sardonic scepticism. “We’re going to need a team.”
“A team?” It was my time to raise my eyebrows. “And where exactly do you propose we get one of those?”
He stepped away and glanced out at the threatening purple sky. “It’s time to find your best friend.”
“Lauren?”
“Yes.” He created a blue orb of light from between his hands, spreading it wider and wider until it was big enough to step through. I stared at it open mouthed. What was this? Nick had just slipped through a violet—the best word my mind would come up with was—portal. If portals were glowing, iridescent doorways into nowhere. “Come on, Bron. We don’t have time to waste.” He motioned his hand to the spinning light.
“Am I supposed to just step through?”