The people who are horrified that I have imposed expectations on my son are guilty of hypocrisy on the grandest scale. Would you prefer that your son were straight? Do you joke about your son marrying the little daughter of your college roommate? You, too, are imposing an expectation on your child. My son’s sexual orientation will develop on its own, no matter my hopes and idle fantasies. How many studies on twins have to be done before people understand that homosexuality is innate? It has nothing to do with choice or a mother’s smothering nature. People are gay because of genetics or fetal hormonal exposure or some other random physical and chemical spin of the wheel. Bless mutation and complication and all that gives us such magnificent diversity.
When I was an undergraduate, I went to a concert given by a not particularly talented lesbian folk singer. I have a perfect recollection of her hoarse voice warbling off-key the song she wished her mother had sung to her when she first came out: Honey, I’m glad that you’re gay; darling, I like you that way.
That’s the response my sons and daughters will receive if ever they make a similar announcement. As a grizzly protects her cubs, I will do everything in my power to make sure that none of them ever wishes away their homosexuality on the letters page of an online magazine.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
We are deeply grateful to all the wonderful authors who contributed to this book. We asked for your stories, and you didn’t hold back.
Many thanks to Trena Keating and Lily Kosner at Dutton; Richard Abate, Kate Lee, and Colin Graham at ICM; and Jorge Valencia, Joel Wyatt, James Lecesne, and everyone at The Trevor Project for all their support, enthusiasm, and effort on behalf of this book.
We would also like to thank our families and friends for all their love and support.
Melissa would especially like to thank “The Gang:” Tristan, Tyler, Andy, and Peter for their steadfast and loyal friendship that inspired this book. Big kisses and big love from their own “Melvina.”
And Tom sends love and thanks to the main girls in his life—Antonia, Katie, Marissa, Mary Clare, Sarah, and Tina—who are always there for him, in good times and bad.
ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS
Melissa de la Cruz is the author of many books for teens and adults, including the bestselling Au Pairs series, which has been published in ten countries and was sold to Warner Bros. Studios as a major motion picture to be produced by Flower Films and Alloy Entertainment. Her other books include the Blue Bloods series, the trilogy Angels on Sunset Boulevard, and the novels Cat’s Meow and Fresh Off the Boat. She coauthored the tongue-in-chic handbooks The Fashionista Files and How to Become Famous in Two Weeks or Less. She has appeared as an expert on style, trends, and fame for CNN, Fox, and E! and has written for many publications including Glamour, Marie Claire, Harper’s Bazaar, Allure, Cosmopolitan, The New York Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and McSweeney’s. She is a graduate of Columbia University. Melissa divides her time between New York City and Los Angeles, where she lives with her husband. She is currently working on two new young adult series: The Ashleys (debuting in 2007) and Social Life (coming in 2008). Visit her online at www.melissa-delacruz.com.
Tom Dolby is the author of the bestselling novel The Trouble Boy. His second novel, The Sixth Form, set at a Massachusetts boarding school, will be published in January 2008. His writing has appeared in The New YorkTimes, The Village Voice, the San Francisco Chronicle, and Out, where he is a contributing writer. A personal essay of his appears in the recent anthology From Boys to Men: Gay Men Write About Growing Up. He was a 2005 Library Laureate for the San Francisco Public Library, and was one of Instinct magazine’s Leading Men of 2004, both honors that make his mother very proud. Tom was born in London and raised in San Francisco, and is a graduate of Yale University. He currently lives in Manhattan, where he is working on his third novel, though he also enjoys visiting his many girlfriends in Los Angeles and San Francisco. You can find him online at www.tomdolby.com.
Foreword
Armistead Maupin is the world-renowned bestselling author of the Tales of the City series, which has been the basis for three highly acclaimed television miniseries. His ninth novel, Michael Tolliver Lives, was recently published. He lives in San Francisco.
Authors
Mike Albo is the author of the novel Hornito: My Lie Life and the critically acclaimed comic novel The Underminer: The Best Friend Who Casually Destroys Your Life, which was cowritten with his longtime friend, New York Times television critic Virginia Heffernan. As a monologist and performer, Mike has completed four critically acclaimed sold-out solo shows: Mike Albo, Spray, Please Everything Burst, and My Price Point, all cowritten with Heffernan, as well as many solo performances and tours across the United States and Europe. Mike has written for The New York Times, Paper, Surface, The New York Observer, New York, The Village Voice, Newsweek, Nerve, and Out. Check out www.mikealbo.com and click on his chakras for upcoming shows, vidcasts, writing, an effusive blog, and more.
Zakiyyah Alexander is a playwright, performer, educator, and friend to many a gay man. Her plays have been produced and developed in theaters around the world, from New York City to Johannesburg. Honors include The Theodore Ward Prize, the Jackson/Phelan Award, the Drama League New Directors/New Works, the New Professional Theatre Playwriting Award, the Young Playwrights Inc., and more. Her work is included in the latest edition of New Monologues for Women by Women. She is a resident member of New Dramatists and a past participant in too many writers’ groups to mention. Currently she is working on a short commissioned piece for Hartford Stage, adapting the short story “The People Could Fly” into a children’s musical, as well as developing a new play, Clean, with the 24/7 Company. Zakiyyah received her M.F.A. in playwriting from the Yale School of Drama.
Stacey Ballis is the author of four novels: Inappropriate Men, Sleeping Over, Room for Improvement, and The Spinster Sisters and is a contributing author to the anthology Everything I Needed to Know About Being a Girl I Learned from Judy Blume. Her Web site is www.staceyballis.com.
Cecil Castellucci has published three novels for teens: Boy Proof, The Queen of Cool, and the upcoming Beige. Aside from writing books, she writes plays and makes films. She has lived in New York City, Paris, and Montreal, and now resides in Los Angeles. She’s planning on taking a freight ship to China and thinks that taking the train (sleeper car only, please!) is a divine way to travel. She has had many fairy godfathers and is always happy for the new ones she meets on her voyages. She still plans on buying a château. For more information, go to www.misscecil.com.
Cindy Chupack has won three Golden Globes and an Emmy for her work as a writer and executive producer on HBO’s Sex and the City. She joined the show in the second season, and six of the episodes she penned were individually nominated for Writer’s Guild and Emmy awards. She is also the author of The Between Boyfriends Book: A Collection of Cautiously Hopeful Essays, which was a New York Times bestseller and has been translated into nine languages. For more information, visit www.betweenboyfriends.com. Cindy has also written humorous essays about dating and relationships for Glamour, Harper’s Bazaar, Allure, Slate, and The New York Times Book Review. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Ian, whom, she is happy to report, did not know what a White Party was.
Anna David has been on staff at Premiere and Parenting and wrote a sex and relationship column for Razor Magazine. She’s done celebrity cover stories, first-person essays, and reportage for the Los Angeles Times, Vanity Fair, Cosmopolitan, Details, Self, Redbook, The Saturday Telegraph, Esquire UK, Variety, and the New York Post, among many others. A first-person sex story she wrote for Playboy was made into a reality show pilot for TBS. She’s the sex expert on G4’s Attack of the Show, regularly appears on Today, and has also been on The Best Damn Sports Show Period, The Other Half, Cold Pizza, The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life, CNN, E!, and VH1. Her first novel, Party Girl, is coming out in July 2007 from Regan Books. Her Web site is www.annadavid.com.
Simon Doona
n is the bestselling author of Wacky Chicks: Life Lessons from Fearlessly Inappropriate and Fabulously Eccentric Women and Nasty: My Family and Other Glamorous Varmints. In addition to his role as creative director of Barneys New York, Simon writes the “Simon Says” column for The New York Observer. He frequently contributes observations and opinions to a myriad of other publications and television shows, and is a regular commentator on VH1 and Full Frontal Fashion. He lives in New York City with his partner, Jonathan Adler, and his Norwich terrier, Liberace.
David Ebershoff is the author of two bestselling novels, Pasadena and The Danish Girl, and the short story collection, The Rose City. He has won a number of awards, including the Rosenthal Foundation Award from the American Academy of Arts and Letters and the Lambda Literary Award. His fiction has been published in more than a dozen countries to critical acclaim. He is currently an editor at large at Random House and teaches in the M.F.A. program at Columbia University. His new novel, The 19th Wife, will be released next year. You can reach David at www.ebershoff.com.
Abigail Garner is the author of Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is, which was a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award in GLBT Studies. She is a recipient of the Excellence in Journalism Award from the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, as well as the winner of two Best Column awards from the Minnesota Magazine and Publications Association. She is a graduate of the Minneapolis public schools and Wellesley College. Her blog, “Damn Straight,” is online at www.abigailgarner.net.
Gigi Levangie Grazer has never won anything nor does she anticipate winning anything in the near future. Moreover, Gigi has never been a finalist for anything. Gigi is fond of vanilla lattes and bin candy. Gigi lies about her age—upward. Gigi is married and has quite a few children. Gigi hopes to meet you someday. Gigi does not believe it is a party unless someone is fighting. Gigi wrote the original screenplay for the film Step-mom, after which she turned to the relative coziness of writing novels. Her first two novels, Rescue Me and Maneater, have been optioned for movies or miniseries, and her third novel, The Starter Wife, will air as a miniseries starring Debra Messing on the USA network in summer 2007. Gigi’s next novel, set in New York, focuses on a power couple’s marriage. Gigi also has several drawers full of unproduced, hilarious, and touching screenplays. Her Web site is www.gigigrazer.com.
Philip Himberg was born in the Bronx and reared in suburban Connecticut. He attended Oberlin College, where he majored in theater arts. He was on staff at Playwrights Horizons in New York and at the Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles before running off to study alternative medicine. Since 1985, he has been licensed as a doctor of Chinese medicine. In 1996, he returned to the world of theater and for the past eleven years has headed the Sundance Institute Theatre Program, overseeing its developmental play labs. He has most recently directed plays by Terrence McNally, Tony Kushner, and William Finn. He lives in Santa Monica with his fifteen-year-old daughter, Fanny Rose, and their cat, Mildred Pierce, and owns a ramshackle farmhouse in Cape Cod. He is hard at work on what he hopes will become a novel or a memoir, depending on how brave he is to confront the truth.
Alexandra Jacobs is an editor at The New York Observer and a contributing writer for Elle who has also written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, Harper’s Bazaar, and other publications. Her article “Girls Allowed” for London’s Sunday Telegraph Magazine was optioned by Columbia Pictures. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and daughter.
James Lecesne created the critically acclaimed solo performance Word of Mouth, directed by Eve Ensler and produced by Mike Nichols. His live-action short film Trevor won an Academy Award in 1994 and inspired The Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization that operates the only twenty-four-hour suicide prevention helpline for GLBT and questioning teens. Working with young people in Cambodia, Tibet, and Bosnia, he created The Road Home: Stories of Children of War, which premiered at The Asia Society in New York City and was presented at the International Peace Initiative at The Hague. He also adapted Armistead Maupin’s Further Tales of the City as a miniseries for Showtime, which received an Emmy nomination. James also recently wrote one of the final episodes of Will & Grace. His upcoming young adult novel, Absolute Brightness, will be published by HarperCollins in fall 2007.
David Levithan is the author of Boy Meets Boy, The Realm of Possibility, Are We There Yet?, Marly’s Ghost, and Wide Awake, as well as Nick andNorah’s Infinite Playlist, written with his pal Rachel Cohn. He is also the coeditor, with Billy Merrell, of The Full Spectrum, an anthology of young LGBTQ writers. David is an editor at Scholastic and the founding editor of the PUSH imprint, which is devoted to finding new voices in young adult literature. Except for a brief spell in Rhode Island, he’s always lived in New Jersey. His Web site is www.davidlevithan.com.
Sarah Kate Levy has been a production assistant for an Off-Off-Broadway theater and film company, a development assistant for reality programming at the USA network, and the Southern California scout for the Lowenstein-Yost and Lowenstein-Morel literary agencies. She attended the M.F.A. Creative Writing Program at Columbia, but completed her degree while teaching freshman composition at U.S.C. Sarah holds a B.A. in English Literature from Yale. Her fiction has been published by The Paumanok Review and has received Notable Mention by the Story South Million Writers Award. She has also cowritten a screenplay that is repped by Jon Klane in L.A., and a play that has received several public readings. Sarah is working on a novel, a collection of short stories, and a handful of travel essays. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband. Her Web site is www.sklevy.com.
Bennett Madison grew up in (you could be my) Silver Spring, Maryland, attended Sarah Lawrence College, and now lives in Brooklyn, New York. He is the author of the Lulu Dark mysteries and is currently a staff writer for an as-yet-untitled cartoon scheduled to air on Nickelodeon sometime next year. His next book for young people, The Blonde of the Joke, the first in a three-book cycle, will be released in fall 2008 by HarperCollins. His Web site is www.bennettmadison.com.
Wendy Mass is the author of five young adult novels: A Mango-Shaped Space, which won the Schneider Family Book Award from the American Library Association; Leap Day, a Junior Library Guild selection and International Reading Association Top Choice; Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life, a Junior Library Guild Premier Selection; and the two-part fairy-tale series Twice Upon a Time. She has a B.A. from Tufts University and a Doctor of Letters from Drew University. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and their new twins. She tells people her hobbies are hiking, biking, and photography, although they really are searching for buried treasure with her metal detector, collecting candy bar wrappers, and trying to have out-of-body experiences. Her Web site is www.wen dymass.com.
Michael Musto writes the long-running, popular “La Dolce Musto” column about entertainment and nightlife in The Village Voice. La Dolce Musto is also the title of his book compilation of his liveliest and most outrageous columns, ranging from celebrity interviews to blind items to gay political screeds to controversial self-reflections, published by Carroll & Graf. A regular contributor to Out, Michael has also written the books Downtown (a nonfiction guide to the underground) and Manhattan on the Rocks (a catty yet glamour-drenched roman à clef), as well as appearing on many shows as a pop cultural commentator.
Karen Robinovitz is a prolific journalist whose features on luxury lifestyle, celebrities, fashion, and all things fabulous have been in Elle, Marie Claire, Harper’s Bazaar, and The New York Times. She has coauthored three books: Fête Accompli! The Ultimate Guide to Creative Entertaining, The Fashionista Files: Adventures in Four-Inch Heels and Faux Pas, and How to Become Famous in Two Weeks or Less, which was optioned for a major motion picture by The Walt Disney Studio. A regular on pop culture–oriented shows on VH1, E!, and the Style network, she is a television personality who also often appears on morning shows across the country. She recently filmed a pilot for her own reality show on Bravo. Karen lives in New
York City with her husband, Todd, who appreciates all the gay men in her life without a hint of homophobia or jealousy.
Brian Sloan is a writer, director, novelist, and all-around creative type guy. His second feature, WTC View, and his second book, Tale of Two Summers, both came out in 2006. His next film, Prom Queens, is due out in 2008 and his next book will be done when he finishes it. He lives in New York City, where there are many distractions. Before he knew any better, Brian went to lots of dances while attending St. John’s High School in Washington, D.C. Some of those experiences influenced his first novel, A Really Nice Prom Mess. You can check out his Web site at www.bri ansloan.com. Or visit him at www.myspace.com/bmsloan and put him in your Top Whatever.
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