Then the pain had begun to fade and with it, bit by bit, that fury….leaving only what was already there. Jacob. Who’d been working his way into her soul, slowly, subtly. For all this time. Now she had him in her blood, boiling through her, spurring that aching need.
Overhead, she heard him as he turned on the shower, heard the spray of the water. The image that came into her mind in the following seconds had her breath catching, had her blood burning even hotter. “Shit,” she whispered, her voice shaking. Smoothing her hands back over her hair, she started to pace.
What should she do? Go up there, strip naked, join him? Shit.
But what if she was right and Jacob felt something more…
Shit.
Her head was starting to ache now. This was too damn complicated. All she had in her life was the one lover. Gavin…just Gavin. They’d been high-school sweethearts, then lovers, then they married. She’d never done the dating thing, never had to figure out how to approach a guy.
Especially one who’d pushed her away.
She needed to think.
That was something she’d been avoiding ever since she woke up and she was still trying to avoid it, because there were just things she wasn’t ready to look at yet.
But she did need to think about what this mess with Jacob meant.
I’ve wanted to strip you naked and shag you for the past ten months…
Swallowing, she rubbed the heel of her hand over her chest and decided that was one thing she couldn’t avoid thinking about. She needed to figure out how she felt about it, and what she was going to do about it.
She’d do it better if she did it someplace where she wasn’t able to hear the water pounding down, where she wouldn’t see him when he came out of the bathroom, water beading on those hard, muscled shoulders…
Before she could let those thoughts drift any further, she shoved away from the wall. She’d go running. She’d run, she’d hate every step, and she’d make herself think.
Four miles into the run, the lust eased from her system enough that she could think.
How do I feel about him?
That was one thing she needed to know before she did anything about Jacob.
She felt something. It was more than just desire too. This wasn’t just some vague itch. It was…intense. Powerful. She couldn’t even describe what it was. It was more intense than what she’d felt before. More intense, more powerful—different than what it had been like when she’d fallen in love before.
Then again, I’m different from who I was before.
Jacob had told her that. Weeks ago. She hadn’t wanted to see it then. But it was impossible not to see. She was harder. Stronger. In the past few weeks, ever since she’d let that icy shroud gripping her heart fall away.
She still had a life to live…and Jacob was going to be part of it.
“You seem pretty certain of that.” Will appeared so suddenly, Celine all but crashed into his chest. His hands came up, gripping her arms to steady her.
She brushed him aside and immediately moved away, putting two feet between them—bracing herself for the burn of rage that always came when she saw this man.
It wasn’t there, though.
Frowning, she tucked that thought aside. “Certain of what?”
“That he’s to be a part of your life.”
“You know, I’m pretty damn tired of having some of you peer into my thoughts.” Sighing, she brushed it off. She had loud thoughts; she needed to learn to silence them. She’d work on that next. “Isn’t he already a part of my life?”
“For now. Will it stay that way?” Will shrugged. “That, I cannot say…”
Fear, cold and brutal, gripped her belly. “What do you mean, you cannot say? You know every damn thing.”
“Not hardly.” Those shrewd silver eyes narrowed on her face. “For instance, I don’t entirely know how you feel about him. If he’s just your trainer, he won’t be a part of your life forever. Most of the Grimm work better alone—Jacob is no exception. But if there’s something more…”
Celine just stared at him.
“Well?”
Spinning away, she skimmed a hand over her damp hair, hooked it over the back of her neck. She’d taken a path that had led her down by the river and now she focused on it, staring at the slow-rolling waters of the Ohio. “I’m not an idiot, Will. I don’t see me spending my life with a teacher.”
“So he’s more than that to you.”
Celine swallowed. Instead of answering, she moved closer to the river, staring down at it. A breeze kicked up, blowing her hair back from her face, teasing her with the scents of growing grass, flowers, life…all the things she’d ignored for so long.
“I’ve been so angry since you put me with him. For the longest time, I felt nothing. Except regret. I just wanted to turn back time, undo what happened that night. Then he comes along, and all of a sudden, I’m angry. Fighting isn’t enough to soothe me, it doesn’t fill me the way it used to.”
She slid Will a look from under her lashes. “I’d like to think I hated him, but there was just the anger, and all the grief I couldn’t give up.” Tipping her head back, she stared at the sky. “He showed me things. What would have happened. And now…all that anger is fading away. All that grief.”
“You clung to it for a very long time.” Will moved to stand beside her.
She realized with a jolt that there was a strange, soothing feel to his presence. She hadn’t ever felt that before. “I’ve been angry with you for a long time.”
“I made a mistake with you,” he said neutrally. “I have been as I am for a very long time. But at my core, I still possess the same human weaknesses, the same human thoughts I’ve always had. I shouldn’t have…”
“You didn’t make a mistake.” Celine knew it wasn’t that long ago that she would have agreed with him. But things were the way they needed to be. “Do you know what happened the other day? At the rave? With the girl?”
“And her rather brawny-looking boyfriend? Yes.” Will stroked a finger down a snow-white brow. “Your gift has been slowly emerging for some months. That was just the most obvious case of it. You have a formidable will. You’ll master it.”
“That’s not my point.” She hooked both hands behind her neck, still gazing at the river. “Jacob can glimpse into the future with some people. I’ve heard you have a touch of almost every power the Grimm can have—in case nobody else can train them.”
She shot him a glance, waited.
Will just stared at her in silence.
“Do you know what might have happened to her, to the guy if they hadn’t left?”
“The woman would have given in. She had—has—many doubts, and demons so love to play with doubts. She would have given in, and in a short while, you and Jacob would have hunted her down and killed her. The man with her would have moved on, but he always would have lived with that bit of self-doubt inside, would have lived with the blame, wondering if he could have saved her. He would have remembered, you see, the night when she started to change.”
“And I helped stop that.” Celine closed her eyes, remembering the girl she hadn’t been able to save. It was one pain she still lived with. “It’s always felt like everything that happened to me was for nothing, you know. Because that first girl died. I wasn’t strong then.”
Turning, she faced Will. “I am strong now. And because of what I went through then, I can help save others.”
The thick, black fringe of Will’s lashes drooped, shielding his eyes. “You misjudge yourself. You were always strong, Celine.”
“Semantics,” she said, shrugging. “The point is, I’ve finally realized it wasn’t for nothing. Everything happened to make me what I am now. Now I can help—my life has far more purpose than it did before that night.”
“And if I tell you some harsh truths? What then? Will you still feel this way?” He shifted that eerie silver gaze to hers. “What if I tell you that Jacob isn’t to be in your life? I
f I tell you that girl you saved? She loses her man to a senseless car accident just three weeks from now? You saved her, the weak one, so that the strong one can die. Now do you still hold me blameless for what I’ve brought to your life?”
Under the weight of that unyielding, unblinking stare, Celine felt her breath freeze in her lungs, felt her heart skitter in her chest—she felt like a caged, trapped animal. And something about that fear felt wrong. “Stop it,” she whispered. “Whatever you’re doing…stop it.”
Breaking eye contact felt like she was ripping open a wound, but she did it and that awful fear eased. “Didn’t you say you don’t know what lies ahead for Jacob and me?”
No response. Caught you there, didn’t I?
It steadied her enough, gave her the courage to chance a quick look at him. That awful power still lurked about him and it made her heart slam against her ribs. But when she looked away, it lessened. Damn, he was one scary bastard.
“The girl…if he is supposed to die, what happens to her?”
“What does it matter? She was weak—cared more for her own doubts and needs than him, and almost gave in to a demon. He would have died for her, but he’s the one who loses his life, all too young, all too soon.”
“It’s always too soon.” Steeling herself, she turned and made herself meet his gaze. “What happens to her? Surely you have to know.”
“Oh, bugger this,” Will muttered. He shoved a hand through his hair and turned away. “He proposes to her tonight. Sometime in the next few days, she’ll conceive, and that’s almost certain. She tells him the day before the accident, the one that will cause fatal injuries. Before he dies, as he lies in the hospital, dying, he tells her to be strong—for their child.”
Something in his tone, that careful, neutral tone, told her everything she needed to know. “That’s what she does, isn’t it?”
As Will lowered his head to study the ground, he said quietly, “Yes.”
Celine’s throat knotted.
“Sometimes it takes losing everything to discover how strong you really are,” Celine murmured. “And I still say you didn’t make a mistake. Neither did I.”
He turned his head, the shining veil of his silver hair sliding over his shoulders. A small grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Perhaps we didn’t.”
Then his strange, silver eyes started to glow. The sight of it was enough to make her wince—she’d seen those eyes glow only once before. The night he appeared at her side, after things had torn into her body.
“I’m sorry those memories are so clear for you,” Will said gently.
She tried for a casual shrug. “Hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Or in my case, what does kill you.”
“You’ve changed quite a lot.”
“Still a work in progress—have to figure out how to handle things with Jacob. I—”
Something moved out of the corner of her eye. No.
Someone.
Fast—Shit.
Hissing out a breath, she braced herself, prepared—
Nothing human, nothing Grimm moved like that.
And she had no fucking weapons, and her gift was useless in combat.
A hand gripped her arm even as she prepared to spring. “Calm down, Celine. He’s…well, we can’t call him a friend, but he’s not a demon, either.”
She stared, watched whatever it was as it raced along through the coming shadows. Twilight was settling fast, and the…whatever…used those shadows well.
Fast—so damn. Something caught the light. It looked like hair.
And then he was just there.
A man. Not a thing, not a demon, she didn’t think. But a man.
Standing in front of her.
He was her height. His hair was still settling around his shoulders but he stood as still as a statue, like he hadn’t just raced how hard, how fast…? Then she met his eyes and her breath froze in her lungs.
Those eyes—
Red…
Like the voracious, starving eyes of a monster. She didn’t care what Will said…there was something not right about this guy.
It didn’t matter that she saw awareness, and some spark of humanity, burning in his gaze as he studied her. And a smile curled his lips as he studied. “Oh. Will, you should have given her to me. She smells ripe with fear…”
Will cuffed him across the head—or tried to. The man was gone before Will even managed to lift a hand. Faster than a Grimm? Was that possible?
Those eerie red eyes remained focused on her face, that devilish smile still on his face.
“Enough, Rob. Why are you here?” Will said with a sigh.
Rob? Such a normal-sounding name. Such a decidedly not normal man.
He inched a step closer and Celine watched as he dragged in a draught of air through his nostrils. She had the most disconcerting sensation he was smelling her. Not just in the casual way that happened with the Grimm, but like he was actually checking her scent.
Still keeping him in her line of sight, Celine took a careful step back. Then another, just to be on the safe side.
The smile on his face had a rather evil bent to it and once she’d back away, the smile widened into a full-fledged, wicked grin. He blinked and then looked at Will. “Come on, mate. You didn’t think I could be around that much fear and not take advantage of it.” The red in his eyes faded somewhat, replaced by an almost normal shade of brown.
Almost.
If it wasn’t for the maniacal glint she saw gleaming there.
Then she caught sight of the leather cord around his neck.
Swallowing, she followed it downward. When she saw the top edge of the silver disc, she closed her eyes. “Hell, no wonder you didn’t give up on me. You’ve got bastards even crazier than me working for you,” she muttered, turning away.
The Grimm across from her started to laugh, apparently very amused.
Will just grunted. “Celine, you’re not as crazy as you would think. You were just more…stubborn.” He looked back at Rob and scowled. “Why are you here?”
The smile fell from his face, replaced by a heavy, tight darkness. “Can’t you feel it?” Rob’s lids drooped, shielding his eyes. He turned away, staring out into the coming night, one hand lifted. “There’s something in the air here…it drew me in. I couldn’t stay away.”
Something in his tone made the hairs on the back of Celine’s neck stand up. And she watched as he lifted a hand, held it up while he stared out into the twilight. “Don’t you feel it?” Rob said quietly. “I follow fear… Jacob, he follows dreams and regrets. You, you follow us. But can’t you feel it?”
“I feel the fear,” Will said. “It’s part of why I’m here.”
“What, you mean you’re not here just to check on me?” Celine quipped. She didn’t know what they were talking about. Jacob followed dreams?
Dreams? What…?
Pieces of a forgotten puzzle started to fall into place into her mind, but before the big picture was clear, Will had his hand on her arm. “Close your eyes, if you would.”
Not again—
But that was the only thought she had time for before light flared and he was moving her through it. She thought it would be like traveling through whatever weird vortex Jacob used.
It wasn’t. It was faster, over in almost a blink, and although her stomach fell away, that was the only sensation. Even as she caught her breath, it was over.
Will let her arm go and moved away. “Get ready. We need to find Jacob—he’s gone looking for more trouble than he needs right now.”
Jacob—
Dreams.
He followed dreams…
He took me into Gavin’s dreams.
“No time for figuring things out right now,” Will bit off.
She swore and spun away, staring around the house with some surprise. Jogging to her room, she jerked off her damp tank top, scrambling for the clothes she wore when she went out for nasty chores like demon slaying.
“Do you think you can control yourself enough to go help him?” Will asked.
“There’s plenty of other things I can kill, right?”
That was all she heard before that weird tickle danced down her spine again. He was gone—the weird, freaky Grimm.
Shoving her feet into her boots, she laced them up and shoved her blades into the sheathes on the sides before turning to her weapons trunk.
Knives, gun—actually, she grabbed the modified holster Finn had rigged up for her, similar to the one he loved so much. Two guns now, and extra ammo. More knives, then her bladed staff.
“Ready?”
She turned and saw Will in the doorway. “I’m loaded for bear. Or demon.” Nervously, she stroked a hand down her staff as she crossed to him. “What’s going on? Jacob can handle himself.”
“Not when he bites off more than he can chew—on purpose.” The hard, icy look on Will’s face as he skimmed a look over her didn’t do anything to settle the jittery feeling in her gut.
Recalling something from her dreams, she asked softly, “Did he used to bite off more than he could chew a lot?”
“Generally, no. A hell of a scrapper, he was. But you know what chances a mortal has against a demon. There have been a few times, yes. Now is one—we have to go.”
Chapter Nine
Jacob was pretty sure he’d live through this mess. It was going to require a blessed amount of luck, and quite a lot of time spent in stasis—he suspected he was missing a kidney, or at least part of one. Organs were a bitch to regenerate.
Blood was flowing just a little too freely—his own—and he’d found something he hadn’t expected. Humans. They’d been a complication, an unwelcome one. He’d needed to see to their safety and the only way to do that was to keep them silent so they didn’t distract him, and out of the way. He’d shoved them into a deep, dark sleep, another extension of his gift. He might have pushed too hard—they could easily sleep for the next forty-eight hours.
If he survived, they’d be all right. If. He had an easy position to defend, his back to the room he’d found them in, and he could pick off the demons two or three at a time as they tried to rush him. Fools—they would have been wiser to put the mortals in an open room, instead of tucking them into some small place at the end of a hall.
Grimm Tidings: Grimm's Circle, Book 6 Page 8