“How long did she stay with you, so you could get to know him before she left you?” I ask him and watch his face pale.
“She didn’t. She brought me to him and kissed my cheek after she introduced us and then she left, telling me it would all be fine. And, eventually, it was.” He takes his wine and downs it.
I am horrified and move in close to him and take him in my arms. “Cyprian, that’s awful. My God, what you must’ve thought. You must’ve been so afraid.”
His hand moves through my hair as his lips graze the place just behind my ear. “I was.”
Things are beginning to make more sense now…
Chapter 3
CYPRIAN
Throughout the night, we talked and talked until we found ourselves unable to stay awake to talk anymore. And now, here we lie. I moved our little party into the house then laid out a blanket on the floor in front of one of the fireplaces. I gave her one of my T-shirts to put on, so she could get out of her work clothes and be comfortable. She looked cute as hell in it.
The atmosphere was just right to get Cami’s guard down. She let me hold her as we talked about me, and my past. She told me a lot about hers too. She and I come from extremely different worlds. I don’t think either of us would like the others.
She told me, she never wants to meet my parents, and for fear she’d blurt out how she feels about them and how they raised me. It’s odd how I feel about her. It’s as if she’s becoming protective over me. No one has ever been protective over me before.
Her family would hate me. She didn’t say that. I just know they would. The son of a former stripper and a man with no sexual morals. A thing I didn’t know my father was until Cami schooled me on it.
And, apparently, I am that way too. A man with no sexual morals and no idea how to get some of those elusive morals she spoke about.
I cannot lie and say she’s turned my mind around where casual sex is concerned. In my life sex, has served a purpose. To let off steam. To relax after a hardy bout of pleasurable activities and that’s it.
Cami told me she supposed that’s exactly what sex is and that’s all I’ve ever had. Making love is different, she said. And I have to wonder if she’s right.
She moves, slightly. I hold her tighter, not wanting her to wake up and make some excuse to leave me. She settles into my arms and begins to snore a bit. I kiss her cheek then lie back down.
Her ass hits me as she scoots back and it settles right at my juncture. The morning has me ready to go and I can’t stop myself from grinding into her. I stop when she moans.
She reaches back and runs her hand along the arm I have wrapped around her. I’m stiff as a board as I wait to see if she’s going to finally let me have sex with her.
Moving a little, I press myself against her ass and pump a bit, making her moan more and press her ass against me. Getting braver, I move her hair to one side and kiss her neck. She groans, “Cyprian.”
At least she’s aware it’s me back here. I whisper in her ear, “Camilla.” Then I take her earlobe and deliver a gentle bite.
Pushing her ass even harder against me, has my cock quivering in anticipation and now I’m aware I have no protection with me. The condoms are in my bedroom.
Now, how to move this upstairs and into my room without giving her a chance to think about things?
Giving special attention to her neck, has her making some great sounds and letting me grind into her, so I pull her backward as I stand up and slip my arms around her to pick her up with me.
As she’s jostled with the movement, her eyes open. At first they’re dreamy and she makes a small smile. “Cyprian.” She leans her head on my chest as her arms wrap around my neck.
“Shh,” I shush her and start to carry her away.
Her fingertips roam over my chest. We still have on our clothes and that will have to be dealt with delicately as well. If I hurry, she’ll surely come fully awake and if I take too long, she might also start thinking and I can’t have that.
She seems to have fallen back to sleep as I make it to my bedroom. I open the door, which I’d left ajar, and quietly kick it closed. Just as I get to the edge of the bed, which is made, I lie her on one side and go to the other side to pull the blankets down.
As I walk back to her, finding she’s snuggled down on the pillow, I pull my shirt off and drop my PJ bottoms. Taking a deep breath, I start to pull my T-shirt off her, gently taking it from the bottom and lifting it up until it’s just underneath her tits.
Her eyes fly open. “Cyprian! What the hell are you doing?” She sits up and grabs my hands. “You’re naked!”
“You were into it. Don’t you remember?” I ask her as she looks at me with wide eyes.
“Would you cover yourself, for God’s sake?” she shouts at me.
I pull my PJ bottoms back on, quickly and see her pull the shirt back down to cover herself. “You were into it, Cami.”
“I was asleep!” she rolls off the bed and gets up. “I’m going home. I trusted you, Cyprian!”
“Wait, please. I swear to God you were into it. Stop and think for a second.” I grab her arm to stop her from leaving and she snaps her head to look at my hand.
“I was asleep!” She jerks her arm hard and I let it go, so I don’t hurt her.
“Cami, I’m sorry,” I say as I sit on the bed. “I am. I thought you were awake and wanting it as much as I was. I am sorry.”
She spins around and looks at me with tired eyes. “Cyprian, if we ever do that, it needs to be a thing we discuss and are ready for. Not a thing that happens if we’re together and have too much to drink. Or are hanging out, fall asleep in each other’s arms, and barely awake. I, for one, would like to be fully present for our first time. If there ever is one.”
“You’re dead set on being in love and having a commitment, aren’t you?” I ask as I realize this woman really is going to be a hell of a lot of work to get her where I want her.
Her face goes soft, the indignation gone. “Cyprian, of course, that’s how I want it to be. I thought, after last night, you understood me better.”
“I do.” I look at her, standing in my bedroom with my T-shirt on, her hair a wild mess and I find her the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on in the morning. And I have seen many.
“Then why would you do such a thing?” she asks as she puts one hand on her hip and pushes her hair back.
“I want you,” I say, simply. “And if you will be truthful with yourself, you want me too. Or you wouldn’t have pressed your ass against my cock, Cami. You wouldn’t have moaned at how it felt and you wouldn’t have let me kiss your neck the way I was kissing it. You have a hickey or two from my attention to your sweet neck.”
Her hand moves to her neck as her face goes pale. “No!” She rushes to look in the mirror over my dresser and pulls her hair back, revealing two, very nice sized purple spots on her long and elegant neck. “This looks terrible!”
Getting up, I move in behind her and wrap my arms around her and look at the marks I left on her. “I like the way they look.” I turn her in my arms and look into her eyes. “Admit it. You want me as much as I want you, Cami.”
“Okay, so I can admit that. But I am very self-disciplined. I can wait until what we have is real.” She runs her arms around me and hugs me. “If it ever gets real.”
Holding her and looking in the mirror as she hugs me, makes me think about what she’s saying. So, I pull her with me to sit on the bed and hold her hand. “Cami, I don’t think I know how to love. I haven’t ever been very close to anyone. It could take a very long time or it might never happen. What then?”
“Then you and I are not meant to be. You see, I will not sell myself short. I want a man who loves me. Who will be there for me through thick and thin. Who will cherish me and put me above all others. And I will never settle for anything less. Because I will do that for him too. If you feel like this is a waste of your time, I will certainly understand.” She looks at me as
if trying to see if I am capable of understanding her.
“Go home,” I say.
She nods and gets up. No arguing. No questions. She just gets up and starts walking away from me. “Okay.”
“Uh, don’t you want to know why I said that?” I ask as I get up and go to her. She shakes her head and I stop her retreat as I take her by the shoulders and turn her around. “I want you to go home and get cleaned up and put on something nice. I want to spend the day with you. I want to take you somewhere nice for breakfast. We’ll do a bit of shopping then eat somewhere nice for lunch. Maybe take in a movie and go somewhere spectacular for dinner. I want to take you on a very long date. What do you say?”
“I’d like to say you will need to watch how you ask me out. I was sure you were done with me. Emotional whiplash is not a thing I like to have.”
“Is that a yes?” I ask, as I’m still unsure about her.
She nods and hugs me. “You and I either have a long road ahead of us or a very short one, Cyprian.”
“I hope it’s a long one,” I say. “Don’t you?”
She lets me go and shakes her head as she walks to the bedroom door. “I hope it’s a long road that doesn’t end in a dead end.” With that, she’s gone, leaving me with myself and wondering if this is worth it.
The woman’s mind is set. It’s love then sex. And if I never find the love for her, she demands, then I will never get a taste of her, and I will most likely never stop thinking about her.
I wonder if one can make themselves fall in love…
Chapter 4
CAMILLA
“Did you ever watch a love story movie, Cyprian?” I ask him as he holds my hand and we stroll along the sidewalk that goes through a picturesque park in the middle of town.
He’s been acting like a boyfriend. It has me thinking, he’s trying to project the image of what I want. But I want more than a mere projection from him.
“No, why do you ask that?” he asks me as he pulls our clasped hands up and kisses mine then lets my hand go and runs his arm around me, kissing the side of my head.
“You’ve been acting different today. At breakfast, you cut up my ham when I had trouble doing it. At lunch, you kept feeding me your french-fries. And here we are, taking a walk in the park on our way to see a play put on by the local theater club. It’s very romantic, and you are anything but a romantic.”
“I thought this is what you wanted,” he says as he stops and looks at me. “I’m doing what you wanted. Are you saying that, even if I become the man you expect, you will still find fault with me?”
“No!” I shake my head and find myself confused. “Cyprian, I want you to be you. I’m not trying to change you.”
“But you are.” He pulls me along again to continue on our way to the small, open-air theater on the other side of the park. “You’re lying to yourself if you really think that. You don’t want me as I am. You want me the way you want me. A perfect gentleman who is in complete love with his girl.”
Suddenly, I see him for who he must really be. A man who does what’s expected of him. And that breaks my heart. “Cyprian, please be who it is you want to be. I will either like you or I won’t but don’t be a fake person with me. Please.”
“I’m not being fake. I’ve never done the things we’re doing. I feel light-hearted and free. I feel healthy and to be honest, I feel I have you to owe that to and it makes me think you are a very special person and I enjoy just being with you, doing anything at all or even nothing. So, sue me if you think I’m faking it. I’m not.”
“You do seem light-hearted. And you do seem happy.” I look at him from the corner of my eye and see the smile that’s been on his face most all day long.
As we arrive at the theater, I see by the sign, it’s Romeo and Juliet. “Have you ever seen this one?” he asks me.
“I’ve never been to a play at all. I have read the book and seen the old movie. Have you seen it before?”
He shakes his head as he heads close to the front and finds us a nice hill to sit on. He tosses the blanket he brought for us on the ground and sits down then pulls me to sit in front of him, between his legs. “Lie back on me, so you’ll be comfortable. And, no, I also have never seen a play. We had a home theater like I have at my place. That’s where I saw any movies I wanted to. Which weren’t many, as I spent the majority of my time studying, once I got home from school. Weekends were full. Once I went to work, free time only came on the weekends and you know how I’ve spent them.”
“So, this is new to us both. That’s nice,” I say as I lean back on him.
More and more couples come and spread blankets and get ready to watch the play. It’s a very couple’s kind of thing to do and I find it fascinating Cyprian could think this up on such short notice. Being he’s never been a romantic kind of man.
His fingertips stroke my neck as he leans his head on my opposite shoulder. “You look so pretty today, Cami. I love the blue ribbon you have holding your hair back. And your soft, pink sundress is pretty too.”
I smile as he seems to be trying so hard to say all the right things. “Thank you. You look handsome in your black slacks and pale green button up, yourself.”
His lips press against my neck, where I used makeup to cover the marks he left there this morning. “You have yet to allow me to kiss your sweet lips, Cami.” He nudges my head to look at some of the other couples who are exchanging kisses.
“What the hell,” I say and twist a bit, so we can look at each other. I run my arm around his neck. “You’ve been a very good boyfriend today. I think you deserve a kiss.”
His eyes sparkle as I push back a lock of his light brown hair. His lips part then he licks them and looks at mine. “It’s because we’re in public and it can go no farther than a kiss, isn’t it?”
I nod and he smiles. “Of course, Cyprian.”
“I’m going to make you wish we were alone, Camilla.” His hand cradles my head as he holds me still for him. His face moves so slowly I have to fight myself not to move mine to meet him.
His lips, barely touch mine as he hovers. His breath is warm on my lips that are aching for him to press his to them. One tiny peck, he gives me, then three more in slow succession.
My heart is racing and my body is aching as he toys with me. Small pecks leave me wanting more and then his mouth is full on mine. His tongue moves past my lips and into my mouth, stroking my tongue in a way I’ve never felt before.
His fingers grip the back of my head as he tastes me, but only for a moment. Then his mouth is gone and I am left, panting. He says not a word, as he gazes into my eyes. “Did you feel that, Camilla?”
I blink and nod. “I felt something I’ve never felt before.”
The actors come on stage and everyone begins clapping. Cyprian turns me around and leans me back against him, wrapping me in his strong arms, leaving me nearly breathless with that one kiss and my mind moving in fast circles about what that was.
I’ve told myself, time and time again, not to fall for him as quickly as I’ve done with the others who’ve come before him. I have to guard myself against this man. He may seem to be acting like he’s all about me but he isn’t really this guy. He is a man who’s never learned how to develop real feelings for others. And he is dangerous because of that.
But how am I to hold back now that I know what his kiss is like…
Chapter 5
CYPRIAN
Dancing with Camilla in the cool night air, on an outdoor dance floor, I hold her in my arms, enjoying how her scent mixes with the breeze, sending me to a place I’ve never been. She is so easy to be with.
I’ve never argued with a person, other than at work. Honestly, I thought if a woman ever wanted to argue with me, I’d simply walk away from her. But I can’t seem to walk away from this one. And I don’t see myself ever wanting to.
She’s made me feel things I’ve never felt before. And when we kissed, it was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Fireworks wen
t off inside my head. My body tingled all over. It was mind blowing!
We came to this place for dinner and dancing, a thing I always thought sounded lame as hell. But it’s anything but lame. With her, anyway. She and I went shopping and I found myself buying us matching outfit after matching outfit.
She asked me if I’d watched a movie about love and I didn’t lie when I told her, no. The truth is, I got a couple of books, okay ten of them, and read them between the time I saw her at the store and she came to my house last night.
Ashton had reminded me about how smart I am and I downloaded e-book after e-book to help me understand what love is and what people in love do. So, I did use that help but I don’t see that as a bad thing.
She might, though. So, I’ll keep that tidbit of information to myself. That was a thing one of the authors said to do. Women and men think differently, hence all the arguing that comes along with any healthy relationship.
I found out that in any relationship where no arguing occurs, it’s a shallow thing that’s not healthy. My parents and I have shallow relationships. It’s hard to tell myself that, as their child, who should be able to have at least deep relationships with his parents.
The part I didn’t like about some of the information was that a person forms their core personality and beliefs in the first six years of their life. If that’s true, then I’m in for a tough time of it, as from what I can recall, it was a time with relatively no emotions. And that might make it hard when it comes to finding love with Cami.
And I want to, so very badly. Now that I’ve read about how fulfilling love can be, I want to feel that too. But it did say you can’t find it with just anyone. You need to have chemistry, connection, and common beliefs.
She and I have the first two but not the last one. But I am a work in progress. I may never look at sex the same way she does but I don’t have to. I also don’t have to talk to her anymore about that. I can simply agree with her and keep things easy between us in that department. That seems to be the one she’s most concerned about.
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