“Come for me one more time,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine.
I didn’t need to be asked twice. Brayden somehow managed to fuck me deeper, and pleasure exploded through my center. I cried out while I came, and his muscles tightened and he gritted his teeth. He shook above me, and I knew he was riding out his climax too. I pressed my nails into his shoulder and his back, marking him like I used to, and then held his face in my hands as I kissed him, slowing as he slowed, and relaxing when we came apart breathlessly.
He collapsed on his side next to me and rested a hand on my thigh. His other hand lay across his ribs, and he stayed like that with his eyes closed until his breathing slowed. Then he looked over at me in the dark.
“I have to get back to the house,” he said, and I could hear the yearning to stay in his voice. “And I should pick up my mother’s kitchen table. She might be a little put off to wake up in the morning and find it still MIA.”
“I know. It’s okay.”
“I want to see you again soon.”
“Me too,” I said softly.
He squeezed my thigh and propped himself up on one elbow as he turned to face me. He ran his hand up my leg, over my stomach and breasts. He turned my chin to him and kissed me once softly.
“I’ll call you,” he said before pushing himself up and gathering his clothes from the floor.
I wanted to tell him not to forget about me again. I wanted to beg him to remember me, and this moment, and how it felt when we were joined together.
But I stayed quiet and let him leave.
Begging wouldn’t do me any favors.
No matter how desperate I was for him to feel what I was feeling right now.
Chapter 17
Brayden
I woke to the sounds of clanging in the kitchen, which meant I had slept later than usual. The living room was bright with sunlight, much brighter than when I normally got up. I sat up and checked my phone, discovering that I had slept until nine o’clock.
I ran my hand over my face and scratched at my stubble as I listened to Bella humming in the kitchen. She and my mother were clearly cooking, and they weren’t being all that quiet about it. Maybe my mother wanted me up.
I stood and cracked my spine, and I indulged myself in a minute of reminiscing about the previous night.
Rein had been a wonder. Her soft skin and velvet lips had taken me on a journey to a new world where all the aches and pains of my life didn’t exist. For a fleeting moment, I had been free of the heavy burden of my mother’s impending death. I had been happy.
I had gotten more than what I deserved.
When I joined my family in the kitchen, Bella was standing on a chair tucked up against the kitchen counter beside my mother, who was teaching her how to crack eggs into a bowl.
“Yes, just like that, dear. You’re bound to make a mess, and that’s okay.” My mother helped Bella pour the egg yolk into the bowl. Then she tossed the shell into the garbage can beside her. “Now we stir.” She showed Bella how to stir the contents with a wooden spatula then passed it over.
I braced myself against the doorframe and took a mental snapshot of the two of them in the kitchen. Then my mother turned and looked at me over her shoulder, and I saw how tired she looked. The smile she gave me was weak and half-hearted, and there was a sadness in her eyes that I hadn’t seen before.
“Are you two cooking up a storm?” I asked, pushing myself off the wall and covering the distance between us with four long strides.
My mother gave me a tight smile. “Scrambled eggs. Nice and simple.”
“Simple?” I asked, tickling Bella’s ribs from behind. She giggled gleefully and squirmed away from me as she continued to diligently stir the mixture of eggs and cheese. “If it’s simple, then I can’t mess it up. Have a seat, Mom. Let Bella and I finish fixing you breakfast.”
She surprised me by not putting up a fight. Instead, she moved from the counter and passed slowly by me. As she went, she paused to rest her hand on my forearm. I noticed how thin her hands were looking before her fingers slipped from my arm.
She went to sit at the kitchen table, which was so clean it practically glittered. The teenage boys I’d paid off the previous night had taken their duties seriously and made sure my mother’s furniture was in tip top shape. After leaving Rein’s place, I had gone back to the gallery to load everything into the back of my rental truck. The boys had been waiting outside the loft, and I gave them each another twenty bucks to show my appreciation.
Now the table looked brand new. My mother didn’t say a word.
She was wearing the same robe as the night before, and once she was sitting, she wrapped it tighter around herself and leaned back in the chair.
“How was your night last night?” she asked as I stepped up beside Bella.
I kept an eye on my daughter as she stirred slowly. “It was weird. Kind of like being in a time machine, but in a good way. Does that make sense?”
My mother smiled again, and this time, it was the same smile I remembered. “I’m glad you had a good night. You needed it, I think.”
Bella tugged on my sleeve, and I glanced down at her. “Yes, kiddo?”
“I like Rein. Can I see her soon?”
I patted the top of Bella’s head. “We might be able to see her this weekend. How does that sound?”
“Good!” Bella said with a grin.
I complimented her cooking skills and helped her pour the egg mixture into a pan, which I heated on the stove. Once the eggs were done, I plated them and poured Bella a glass of orange juice. My mother and I sipped on water as we ate.
By the time Bella and I finished eating, my mother’s plate was still full. I didn’t say anything as my mother gathered our plates and put them in the sink. She left hers off to the side and then joined us back at the table.
“You should go see Rein today if you had such a good time last night.”
I studied my mother. “Why do you keep trying to send me off?”
“I’m not,” she said softly.
Bella slipped off her chair and excused herself to go play. When I knew she was out of earshot, I turned back to my mother and took her hand in mind. I ran my thumb over her knuckles, which were more prominent than they used to be, and looked her in the eyes.
“I’m here for you, Mom. Not for Rein, despite what you might think. I’m not going anywhere with you feeling like this, no matter how hard you try to push me out.”
My mother pulled her hand back and shielded her eyes from me.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, pulling my chair closer to her. I needed her to open up to me. I needed her to trust me again. I supposed leaving her a decade ago and never coming back had made it hard for her to be vulnerable with me, despite me being her only child.
I hated that I had done that to her.
“Mom,” I said. “Tell me.”
She looked at me over her trembling fingers, and I saw tears in her eyes. “I didn’t want you to see me like this, Brayden. I didn’t want this to be what you remembered of me.”
“That doesn’t matter anymore.” I brought my chair even closer to hers and wrapped my arm around her thin shoulders. “Let me be here for you. This is where I want to be. I promise.”
She rested her cheek on my shoulder and let out a long sigh. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom,” I said, squeezing her gently.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out, saw Drew’s name flash across the screen, and rejected the call.
My mother frowned at me as I stood and went to the sink to start washing dishes. “Shouldn’t you answer that? It’s work, isn’t it?”
“I expect them to be able to hold down the fort while I’m gone.”
“You can call him back and check. I don’t mind.”
“No, he can handle it,” I said as I turned on the tap.
My phone buzzed on the kitchen counter again. I groaned and shook my head as I poured soap on
a plate and began scrubbing.
My mother grabbed the phone and answered it. “Hello, this is Brayden’s mother.”
“Mom!” I said, turning the tap off and drying my hands on the towel hanging off the handle on the oven. I hurried to her, and she handed me the phone with that uncanny, playful smile of hers. I shook my head at her, and she laughed at me as I went to the back door and stepped out on to the porch. “Hello?”
“Brayden, it’s Drew. I’m sorry. Is this a bad time?”
“Any time is a bad time right now. What is it?”
Drew sucked in a deep breath on the other end. There was something he didn’t want to tell me. I waited another five seconds, and luckily for him, he started talking.
“The Buckley contract was pulled yesterday afternoon. They received an offer from another company but refuse to tell us who made the offer or what it is. We’ve given them two counteroffers, both of which they’ve rejected. They practically laughed us out of the room. I don’t know how they can have such a low rate with any competitor in this market. It has to be bullshit. But they’re holding firm, and I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes closed. How was it possible that the one time I needed to step away from my job—besides the month I took off after Isabella’s death—there had to be so many issues with clients?
“Send me everything you have on the contract after we get off the phone and all communications over the last few weeks. I’ll review them today, and I’ll take care of this from here.”
“You’re sure, man? If there’s something I can do—anything—just say the word, and I’ll get it done.” I could hear the desperation dripping from Drew’s voice. He wasn’t a bad guy. He wasn’t a bad employee, either. But it was becoming quickly evident that he couldn’t operate at my level.
“I’m sure you’ve done everything you can,” I said, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice. “Just send me the information, and I’ll take care of it.”
“All right.”
“And Drew?”
“Yes?”
“The whiskey in my bottom drawer makes the shitty days less shitty.”
Drew paused. “Thanks, man.”
I hung up the phone and dropped it in my pocket. Then I took a moment outside on the back deck to sort through my thoughts. I needed a solid five minutes to calm myself down after the call. I knew I was probably overreacting, but being so far away when my company was losing business was driving me insane.
After I had compartmentalized the drama back at Hennie Enterprises, I went back inside. Bella was back at the kitchen table and had a piece of paper and a cup of crayons in front of her. She was drawing what appeared to be a house while my mother oohed and aahed over her artwork.
“What house are you drawing?” my mother asked as I dropped down into the chair across from her.
“This house,” Bella said, without looking up from the page.
“Oh, wonderful.” My mother smiled and rested her chin in her hand. “When it’s done, can I put it up on the fridge?”
“Sure,” Bella said, pressing down hard with a yellow crayon to draw the sun above the house.
“Perfect. It will look beautiful there.” My mother looked up at me. “Everything okay at work?”
I shrugged. “It’s not burning down, so I’ll take that as a win.” I leaned forward and watched Bella outline the sun with an orange crayon. She had seen me do that once at a restaurant, and now she always drew her suns just like that. I smiled. “Pretty sun.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” she said.
She continued her drawing and painted little Ms in the sky to symbolize birds. She added big fluffy clouds with a purple crayon because my mother didn’t own any gray ones. As I watched, the anger inside me started to ebb away and was replaced with a sense of contentment.
Things could only get so bad. Even if things at work imploded and everything in Valdez came to a head, I knew I would make it through to the other side.
I had Bella, and she was more than enough.
Chapter 18
Rein
The coffee grinder was an assault on my ears as I ground fresh beans for my coffee press. After, when I poured boiling water over the beans, my kitchen filled with the rich smell of the stuff. I set a time for three minutes, and as I pressed the start button, my phone rang.
Brayden’s name flashed at me.
A flutter of nerves took flight in my stomach as I picked up the phone and continued staring at his name on the screen. I considered ignoring the call. All I had thought about for the last two nights was his body against mine, his tongue against my pussy, and his cock in my throat.
I had barely slept at all.
But his mother was sick, and I missed him, and if he tried to fuck me again, I probably wouldn’t stop him.
“Hey,” I said, lifting the phone to my ear. “How are you?”
“Hey.” Brayden’s voice filled the phone and my head. “I’m good. How are you?”
“Good. Making coffee.”
“Are you free this afternoon? Say in two hours?”
“Why?”
“Bella and I want to see you.”
I swallowed as I pulled a mug down from my cupboard. “Are you using your daughter as leverage to get me to agree to seeing you again?”
“Only if I have to,” he said. I could hear the smile in his voice.
“You don’t,” I said. “I’m free.”
“Good. Can I pick you up?”
“No, I have to go to the gallery in half an hour. I’ll meet you at the polar bear in two hours?”
“All right,” Brayden said. “We’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon.”
I hung up the phone and stared at it. Why had I just agreed to see him again? Why was I playing with fire like this? I knew where this ended, and I knew how much it hurt. Yet, for some reason, I was resigning myself to that pain.
For a moment, I considered calling Gracie. Then I paused. She would just tell me to go for it, like my heart was, and I would listen to her. I had called her and told her about my steamy night with Brayden, and she had pleaded with me for as many details as I was willing to give her, while boasting about her hand in the whole thing for making me wear her sexy little black dress. Leave it to Gracie to try to take credit for me hooking up with my ex after a decade of being ghosted.
“You’re such a fool,” I muttered to myself as I plunged my coffee twenty seconds before my timer went off. I stirred in milk and cinnamon and then sipped it as I wandered back into my bedroom, where I stood in front of my full-length mirror. “He’s going to leave you again, you stupid girl,” I said to my reflection, who never even blinked.
***
Brayden and Bella beat me to the polar statue in the middle of town. When I arrived, Brayden was sitting on a bench with his legs sprawled out in front of him as Bella played in the snow. She saw me coming first and ran over, her little legs plowing through the snow that was up to her shins.
“Rein!” she cried as she threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around my legs. She grinned up at me with her chin resting on my right thigh. “Hi!”
“Hi.” I giggled, patting her back. “Having fun in the snow?”
“Yes! I wish it snowed in Florida.”
“You probably don’t believe me, but it gets boring pretty fast. You can do much more in the sunshine.”
Bella shrugged and turned to her father, who was getting to his feet and brushing snow from his back. He greeted me with a polite, one-armed hug. It caught me a little off guard, and I stood stiff in his half embrace as he gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze.
“How are you?” he asked.
“I’m good,” I said, burying my hands in the pockets of my parka. “Did you have any idea what you wanted to do this afternoon?”
“No clue,” Brayden said.
I glanced down at Bella, who was looking back and forth between us. “What about
a girls’ day?” I asked.
“Girls’ day?” Brayden cocked his head to the side.
“Yeah. I bet the salon could squeeze Bella and me in for manicures. Maybe pedicures too?”
Brayden’s shoulders visibly slumped, but Bella clapped her hands together and looked eagerly up at her father. “Can we do a girls’ day, Daddy? Pretty please?”
I bit my bottom lip and gave him a sheepish look. “Sorry.”
He sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Sure. Why not? I’ll just, you know, sit around and watch you girls get pretty.”
I reached out and offered Bella my hand. She curled her tiny gloved fingers around mine, and I led her and Brayden across town square to Valdez Beauty, one of the only salons in town that wasn’t offered out of someone’s house. This was the only place a girl could go to get her nails done, and it was surprisingly charming inside.
Oil diffusers chased away the abrasive chemical smell of acrylic and gel nail polish and filled the place with the calming scent of lavender and lemongrass. There were only two other ladies in there, so Bella and I were brought to massage chairs immediately. The foot soaks were filled with warm bubbling water, and as I rolled up my pant legs, Brayden helped Bella with hers. When she was ready, he went to the register and paid for our mani pedis, despite me trying to talk him out of paying for mine. It was a battle I knew I couldn’t win.
The ladies working in the salon fussed over how cute Brayden’s daughter was. I couldn’t blame them. She was precious and charming as she sat back in the massage chair. Somehow, she managed to look like royalty despite only being four years old.
Brayden had taken the empty seat beside me and turned on the back massager, and I leaned over to whispered in his ear. “She looks like a princess, and somehow, it seems so natural.”
He chuckled and shifted in his seat. “I know. It confuses and unsettles me.”
One of the women in the salon stopped in front of Brayden and pulled her hair into a ponytail. “Would you like a foot massage and pedicure too?”
Brayden looked like she had just asked him if he wanted a happy ending. “Uh, no, I’m good.”
My Last First Kiss Page 11