I pushed my chair back and walked over into the kitchen. I opened the cabinets, looking through, picking out small things here and there. Then, I went over to the fridge and did the same thing, cobbling together ingredients to make something to eat. She probably hadn’t eaten dinner, and I needed something to lighten up the mood a little. I wanted her to think about what I was asking, to take a step back and think about it.
“What are you doing?” she asked from the table.
I stopped and put everything together in one spot before turning around and looking at her. She raised her eyebrows and crossed her hands over her chest with an attitude. I smiled at her and held back a small chuckle.
“I want you to go down the hall, take a hot shower, take some time to yourself, and leave me here to cook something for dinner,” I said. “I can almost guarantee you haven’t eaten anything today.”
She opened her mouth to say something but shut it again, looking down at the table and tapping her foot up and down. I waited for a moment, unsure whether she was going to fight me or kick me out. Either way, she didn’t look happy with me ordering her around. To my shock and amazement, she pushed back from the table and walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She actually did what I asked her to do, and she didn’t fight me on it. I pressed my lips together and nodded my head, surprised it had actually worked. She was one of the most stubborn women I knew, but for some reason, she had given in. Maybe she just wanted a shower, but maybe she was starting to loosen up to the idea of having me around. Whatever the reason, I was glad she hadn’t lashed out at me at that moment.
I turned back around and started to put the ingredients together. I looked back through the cabinets and found the cookware. I was starting to know her kitchen like the back of my hand, and I had never actually completed a full meal in it yet. It felt good to be there with her, to take care of her again, to protect her, even if she was fighting me tooth and nail on it. As I cooked, I started to think about the best pitch I could make to her to get her to agree to my plan. I knew it was going to be a struggle, and she was never going to just give in. It had to be the pitch of a lifetime because not only did her safety depend on it but so did the chance to get her to trust me again.
It was the “Get Sara to the Penthouse” project, and it was probably one of the most challenging projects I had ever undertaken. It was amazing to me that I could write code, build apps, build technology, come up with specifics for an entire green energy program, but tackling Sara and getting her back to New York seemed to be the hardest thing I’d ever had to figure out. She was a tricky girl, and she would see right through any bullshit I tried to lay out for her. My best option was to think of a plan that was based on nothing but the cold, hard truth. This was a huge deal for me, something that might determine my happiness, her happiness, and her safety. I had gone into meetings for deals in the past, some I lost and some I won. This deal, though, it was the most important one I had ever faced. This was the one deal I had to close.
Chapter 29
Sara
My feet dragged across the floor as I slowly made my way down the hall into my bedroom and to the bathroom. I got undressed and got into the shower, feeling the hot water roll over my shoulders. I was numb, shell-shocked even, and I felt like I was stuck in someone else’s life. From the moment I’d woken up that morning, I’d been on an emotional roller-coaster, and the day had not slowed down for me. My whole life, I was used to being on an even keel, nothing beside Janson ever happening in my life to upset the applecart. I stayed away from drama, but lately, it seemed like I was nothing but a magnet for it. Everywhere I turned, there was something else happening around me or to me. It was exhausting, and that day alone had completely wiped me out.
I had gone from the lows of being tortured over Ryan and how sweet he seemed to be, to the heights of a brand new mobile lab and back down to the depth of figuring out my ex was a crazy stalker doing terrible things to me and other people and animals. Then, there was the elk, a whole other level to the crap my day had turned into. That elk was the same one that only a week before, I had petted, talked sweetly to, and tended to so he could frolic off into the woods. That same elk was lying in my driveway tonight, dead, its guts flowing down into the street. I knew what that meant, but it sent shivers up my spine even thinking about it. That meant that the day I was called over to Ryan’s ranch, Janson had not only followed me but staked out and watched me care for that elk. Then, he had somehow managed to find the thing and wait for the perfect moment to put it in my driveway.
It sounded nuts but, oddly enough, not too far-fetched for Janson. If he had been watching that, what the hell else had he been watching? And for how long? To do that kind of terrible thing to a poor defenseless animal, it made my blood run cold. He was up to three dead animals now, and he hadn’t killed them in nice ways, not that there was a nice way to kill something. He had made sure to brutally kill them, making it obvious he was not playing around. When Janson and I had been together, he’d done things to make me scared of him. When we broke up, he gave me an uncomfortable and eerie feeling anytime he was anywhere close. Being scared of Janson was not a new feeling to me, but now it was over the top. I was finding myself bordering on complete terror, and it was something I wasn’t used to feeling.
I climbed out of the shower and dried myself off, making sure the blinds were still closed. If he was watching, I wasn’t about to give him a show. I went out into my bedroom and put on a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt and then wrapped my favorite fuzzy bathrobe around me. I wasn’t about to give Ryan a show either. He didn’t deserve it. I slipped on my slippers and padded back down the hall to the kitchen, where I noticed amazing smells wafting around. Ryan was standing at the kitchen table, putting down the place settings and meticulously arranging the silverware on the napkins. He looked almost like a normal person standing there setting the table. He turned his head and looked over at me with a kind smile.
“Do you feel any better?”
“A little, I guess,” I said, walking over to the table and looking at the food.
There was a small salad at both place settings and a plate with the most perfect little grilled cheese I had ever seen. He had somehow cooked a design into the bread even though he was cooking with a frying pan. At each place setting was a tall glass of milk, and he had folded the napkin perfectly in half. I looked up at him as he pulled out my chair.
“I tried,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “I didn’t have a lot to work with, so grilled cheese and salad are on the menu this evening. Sorry it couldn’t be more elaborate, but I doubt any stores are open right now.”
I walked over to the chair and sat down with him pushing me up to the table. I watched as he walked back around and sat down in front of me, putting his napkin into his lap. I felt bad. I could tell he thought I was judging his cooking skills. I cleared my throat and looked up at him with a reassuring smile.
“Thank you for the effort,” I said. “I’m sure it will be the best grilled cheese ever.”
I pulled the salad in front of me and poured some dressing on it, taking a bite and smiling over at him. I realized then that I probably needed to take the time to do some grocery shopping at some point. I had been so caught up in everything that I hadn’t even thought about the normal stuff like having food in the house or vacuuming. I had kind of given up on everything. We sat there eating quietly for quite a while until Ryan put his fork down and looked up at me with a serious look on his face. He had been thinking the entire time, and I knew it was about what he wanted to say to me. I was going to let him talk. I was tired of fighting with him.
“I know that I did things badly the first time around,” he said. “I handled myself not like the man that I am but like the man I used to be, too scared to let you know the truth. I’m sorry for any bad feelings my omission might have led to. My intention was never to hurt you or deceive you. I know, loud and clear, that you broke things off with me and that we’re not s
eeing each other romantically anymore. I understand that perfectly, and I want you to know that. Still, I care about you, on many different levels, and I still want to offer you my place to stay in the city while Janson finds another target for his attentions. It won’t solve the problem long-term, but it’ll keep you safe and give me peace of mind in the process. As far as you and I are concerned, I want us to continue to be friends. I want to show you around the city, take you to all the great restaurants and help you have a good time in a less than perfect situation. I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
I sighed and put down my fork, rubbing my hands together in front of me. I was trying to find the right words, trying to figure out if it really was the best course of action. I wanted to go. I actually did, and being friends with Ryan sounded great on the surface. It sounded like something I could really wrap my head around, but I was still struggling with the decision hardcore. The past was haunting me. I couldn’t help that. I had never been out of the state of Oregon, except for crossing over from Portland to Seattle and back again. I had never seen the East coast or visited any big places. I wanted badly to see the city that never slept, to see the Statue of Liberty and walk through Times Square looking up at the big advertisements and tall city buildings. But could I really take him at his word? Could I find enough trust in him to go there to his penthouse and stay with him, keeping my boundaries firm? I took a deep breath and let it out, looking up at him.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said. “I don’t know what to answer you with. It sounds okay on the surface, but at the same time, since we’re not seeing each other anymore, it doesn’t really seem appropriate for me to go across the country with you and stay at your place.”
I could see the frustration clouding over his face, but I couldn’t bend to make him feel better about it. This was a huge decision, and I had to try to make it based on reality, not on feelings, his or mine. He wiped the frustrated look from his face and looked around for a moment.
“I will admit, it’ll be hard having you in my home a room away, knowing I screwed up something that could have been really good,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of it.”
He pulled his napkin from his lap and put it on his empty plate. He leaned forward on his elbows and looked me dead in the face. I could tell he was getting even more serious.
“Guys like Janson, they cannot be underestimated,” he said. “He has already increased the severity of his little game, and frankly, that scares me. I cannot, in good conscience, leave you here in this little town run by one man who happens to be the one we’re concerned with. Janson could do just about anything to you, and no one would say a word about it. I’m sorry, Sara, but I can’t allow myself to trust your insight on this. You know it’s more serious than you’re letting on. You know Janson’s not going to stop until he gets his way, and even then, I don’t know how far he’ll take things. So, here’s the deal, you either come back with me, stay at my place, relax, have a good vacation and come back when it’s safe, or I will move into your living room. I’m not kidding. I will set up camp on this very kitchen floor if I have to because I’m not going to leave you here unprotected. That’s the fact, period.”
I had to hide the smile on my face because the way he was acting was actually really endearing. He was so serious, and I didn’t doubt him for a minute. I could already see him sleeping on the kitchen table. His words, though, they made me feel warm all over like he really did care about me and my wellbeing. I was scared but afraid to admit it to him. I wanted him to think I was strong, determined, and brave enough to handle the likes of Janson. If I told him I was scared, he would think me weak or desperate, and that was exactly the opposite of what I really was. I couldn’t let myself lean on him like that, emotionally, not until I started to feel more comfortable around him again.
“Can I sleep on it?” I asked.
A smile broke across his face, and he got up from the table and walked around, kissing me on the forehead. He picked up the dishes and walked over to the sink, rinsing them off and putting them in the dishwasher. I got up and grabbed the trash, disposing of it and then ran the sponge over the table to finish tidying everything up. We did it without talking, and it kind of felt nice doing something normal and boring with him.
“Where do you keep your extra blankets?”
“Why?” I asked, looking up at him.
“Because I’m bedding down on the couch tonight,” he said assertively. “In the morning, when you’ve made the right decision, we’ll pack up everything and head to the airport.”
I laughed, shaking my head, and walked down the hall, waving for him to follow. What I was about to do could change a lot of things for us, and no matter how scared I was, I had already made up my mind. The decision was easy, but I was going to make him wait for morning.
Chapter 30
Ryan
Sleeping on the couch wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but I was there to keep her safe, so comfort wasn’t my first priority. When I woke up, I could hear the sound of eggs frying in the kitchen. I got up from the couch, groaning as I stretched out my back and walked in there, rubbing my eyes, surprised I had slept in so late. I was normally an early riser, but I could tell it was at least nine or ten already. Sara was standing over by the stove, and without even thinking, I walked over and wrapped my arms around her waist, nuzzling my nose into her neck.
“Good morning,” I grumbled, not yet awake.
I breathed the smell of her strawberry shampoo deep into my nostrils, starting to see clearly once again. I must have fallen asleep in the middle of the night when I was watching out for any sign of Janson. With that thought and the feeling of Sara stiffening in my arms, I froze. That was definitely enough to wake me right up. I put my arms out straight and slowly began to back away, feeling like a complete idiot. I hadn’t even given it two thoughts, just walked right into the kitchen and put my arms around her like I was on automatic mode.
“I am so freaking sorry,” I said, rubbing my face. “I swear I was sleepwalking or something. I’m still only half awake. It was a reaction to seeing you there at the stove. I didn’t sleep well last night, worried about your safety and then, sometime early this morning, I must have passed out. The smell of eggs got me off the couch and well, you know the rest of the story. I would have never done that had I been in my right mind.”
“Relax, Romeo.” Sara laughed. “Go sit down at the breakfast table before you hurt yourself. I just finished the eggs, and there are English muffins and bacon on the table. The juice and coffee are already poured. That was your one free pass. You used it up right at the get-go. Now, you have to actually attempt to act like a gentleman.”
“I swear,” I said, sitting down at the table. “Scout’s honor.”
“Were you even a Boy Scout?”
“No.” I laughed. “But I would have been a really good one if I had been.”
“Right.”
She smiled, putting the eggs on our plates and sitting down at the table.
“So,” she said as she buttered an English muffin. “I stayed up pretty late thinking about everything you said and the offer you presented.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling nervous.
“I’ve decided to take you up on the offer and go on a little vacation to New York City,” she said with a small smile.
Immediately, I could feel the excitement and relief rising up in my chest. I wanted to stand on my chair and whoop loudly, letting her know how happy I was that she’d reached that conclusion. Thinking that might be a bit much, I decided to smile over at her instead.
“I’m really glad,” I said, stifling the excitement. “I think you’ll be really happy you made that choice.”
We finished up breakfast in a kind of quiet happiness. I could tell by the way Sara was acting, especially toward me, that she was excited about going to the city too. It may not be because of me, but I couldn’t be picky. I had convinced her it was
the right choice, and now I could breathe a little bit easier, at least once we got on the airplane. It was a good thing I’d called the pilot the night before after she’d gone to bed and told him to ready the plane. When breakfast was done, I pulled my phone out and smiled at Sara. I called my driver and asked him to head to the hotel and pick up my bags and then bring them to Sara’s house. I let him know we would be heading from here to the airport to go back to New York.
“I guess I’ll go jump in the shower,” she said.
“I’ll take care of the dishes and get everything unplugged for you,” I said.
“Thanks,” she said happily.
I watched her as she pranced down the hall and disappeared into the bedroom. I smiled and shook my head, letting a little of the excitement out. There was nothing wrong with me being optimistic. While she took a shower, I washed the dishes and started the dishwasher. I went around the kitchen and unplugged all her electronics just to be safe while she was away. As soon as she had reemerged, drying her hair with a towel, there was a knock on the door. It was my chauffeur with my bags.
“You mind if I take a quick shower?” I asked Sara from the living room.
“Nope, go right ahead,” she yelled back.
I hurried up and jumped in the shower, rinsing off and then getting out to finish getting ready. By the time I was dressed and out of the bathroom, Sara was ready to go, sitting in the kitchen with her bags. I walked in behind her and picked up her things, smiling as she turned around.
“What about the vet clinic?” I said.
“I already called Alison and asked her to close up shop. There are no animals staying over right now,” she said. “And I’ll spend the ride to the airport calling my clients and rescheduling or sending them to the closest vet. At least as long as we have cell phone service.”
“It seems you have it all worked out then.” I chuckled. “Are you ready to get going?”
My Last First Kiss Page 42