“I’m right in the middle of the pancake breakfast,” I said kindly. “I will have to decline.”
“Right.” He chuckled looking around the room.
He held tighter to my wrist and walked forward, dragging me from the hall and to the outside. I stumbled through the crowd, wishing someone would speak up, but I knew they were all too scared of Janson anyway. I didn’t want someone else to get involved and become his spiteful target, so I kept my head down and let him drag me out. When we had gotten outside and to the sidewalk away from prying ears, he stopped and turned toward me, still holding tightly to my arm. Anger swelled in my belly thinking about those poor animals he had left in the driveway. I yanked my arm away from him and rubbed my wrist.
“What the hell do you want?” I said. “I was in the middle of talking to people. You don’t own me. You can’t just rip me out of a building.”
He looked me up and down and scoffed before spitting on the ground in front of me. I looked down and grimaced, standing tall in front of him, waiting for his response. He looked around, tipping his hat at a couple of people scurrying past and then looked back at me.
“I saw you in the media,” he said. “You were all whored up in that red dress for those city folks and on the arm of a damn criminal. I have to say it was pretty disgusting how you allowed the papers to drag our little town’s name through the mud like that. Now they think we’re out here breeding disgusting whores instead of moral young ladies like we were always known for.”
“Like I had any control over what they wrote,” I scoffed. “You obviously missed how publications work.”
“All I know is you’re here, back in Bonanza,” he smirked. “What happened? Did your criminal boyfriend already get tired of you? Were you just too whorish for even the likes of him? Or did the town chase you out because you could never live up to the standards of those rich folks? I don’t blame him for kicking your ass to the curb. He saved himself a lot of hassle.”
“Leave me alone,” I said angrily. “My personal life is none of your goddamn business. It hasn’t been for a long time, and it never will be again. You think you’re so smart like you know everything because somewhere along the line, you learned how to read, and the paper came to your doorstep. Well, you have a lot of things to learn about this world beyond the town limits of Bonanza. You don’t have the privilege of asking me about my life anymore nor do you have the right to go snooping around in it either.”
Janson growled and grabbed me by the arm, yanking me toward him. I put my hand up and pressed it against his chest, trying to pull back. The more I fought, the angrier he got, which meant by that point, he was digging his fingers into my arm so tightly, I thought I might bleed. He leaned in close to me, his breath smelling like whiskey and chewing tobacco. I grimaced and turned my face away from him.
“You better watch that smart fucking mouth of yours,” he said. “Your life is my business, and it always has been. That ain’t changin’.”
“You’re mistaken,” I groaned. “Let go of me!”
“You’re only going to make this harder on yourself by resisting,” he said. “It’s time for you to stop acting foolish. You know we’re meant to be together, and you need to understand that it’s time for you to take me back. I’ve let you have your fun with the rich guy, but it’s over now, and you continuing to act this way is only going to make me that much angrier. There’s no way you think we wouldn’t end up back together. You know you miss me.”
“Ugh.” I shivered at the disgusting thought of taking him back. “Why in the hell would I take you back? You’re cruel in ways that aren’t natural. You’re a cheater and have cheated on me so many times I can’t even count. You never treated me well, always telling me I wasn’t good enough, hurting me like you’re putting your hands on me right now. You don’t deserve to even be in my presence, much less be in my life. You have to be out of your head if you think I would ever even consider taking you back.”
I turned my head and looked steadily into his eyes, not backing down. I was tired of cowering in the corner from this man, and I was tired of him acting like I owed him something. I watched as his face tightened, and his cheek started to twitch. I took it as a sign, and I knew I had to make a move. I picked up my foot and stomped down as hard as I could, pulling my arm away and making a run for it back into the building. I could only pray, at that point, that he didn’t come after me and make a scene.
Chapter 51
Ryan
Checking back into the small brick hotel in Bonanza felt strangely right. I had been back at my penthouse, in my sanctuary as I used to call it, but it still hadn’t felt as right as my little room with the claw foot tub had felt there in Bonanza. It was an odd thought, especially since I had spent my entire life in New York. I had called it home since I had been born, and my penthouse had always been the place I knew I could go and get away from the world. Thinking about it while standing in that hotel made me feel almost stressed at the thought of going back to it. Normally, I would fight myself being that far away from home, but I didn’t even want to question the feeling I got when I came back to this small town. It felt right. That was all there was to it, and instead of questioning myself over and over, I was just going to accept it.
My life was changing. It had been ever since the first time I came to this little town in the middle of Oregon. Everything had been so chaotic in my life between the sale of that app, starting a new business, getting involved with Natasha, and the story that had come out about my past. I felt like I had never just taken a deep breath, that I was constantly forced to be on the go, to think about everything I did and said, and I felt like there had never been anyone there for me. I was starting to think that this change, this thing that was happening without my ability to control it, was a really good thing.
I put my bags down in the room and walked over to the small table by the window. I glanced down at the paper and flipped it open, rolling my eyes at my face on the front page. The media was still having a complete field day about my revelations, and it was definitely affecting everything in my life. Already, some of my partners and investors were either backing off or starting to question whether they should. The information given to them by my old best friend from high school had damned me. They took my past as a confirmation that I could be involved in shady dealings in the present, even though most of them knew me and my character very well. Before I’d left the city, I had sat in my office thinking long and hard about trying to convince them I was honest and true. Then it hit me, and I had to say my PR agent wasn’t too thrilled about my thoughts. If my tour of every newsworthy television show out there hadn’t been enough to show my character was top-notch, there was nothing I could say to them in person to make them change their minds. They were always going to have that question in the back of their minds of whether they could trust me or not. So I threw up my hands, figuring there was no way I was going to bend over backward for these assholes, not after all the press I had done.
The fact was, I was who I was. There was no changing that, and there was nothing I could do to convince others of that fact. My past might have helped shape the man I had turned into, that was true, but I was pretty confident I had taken the bad and learned from it, doing the opposite every chance I got. The past did not define the man I had turned into, but it had shown me exactly who I could trust and who would be there even through the tough times. It wasn’t the money hungry investors, and I was finally okay with letting them walk off into the sunset.
I had plenty of money, more money than I could spend in three lifetimes, even with the lifestyle I kept back in New York. The reality of it was, those guys pulling out their support or falling back on projects we had started together wasn’t going to hurt me in any appreciable way. Financially, I would be fine, and I could still continue to do what I wanted when it came to my personal finances and my businesses. The only thing it did affect was my pride, and I could feel the sting on that every time I got a cal
l from my agent or passed by a newsstand full of headlines with my name and face on it.
I put my suitcase down and opened it up, grabbing some pajama pants and a T-shirt out. It was late, too late to go out and get anything to eat, so I figured why not relax and get a good night’s sleep? As I lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling, I thought about the future. Maybe it was time for a change, something that took me in a direction that would calm my life down a bit. Maybe it was time to give up New York and the lifestyle of a rich and famous loner. I had never enjoyed it, and I was tired of constantly beating my head against a wall trying to convince myself it was what I wanted. Maybe I could finally settle down in a small town like Bonanza. I could have a couple of kids, raise them the right way, show them there was more to life than money. But for anything you wanted, you had to work hard for it. A town like Bonanza would be just the place to do that.
I didn’t want to raise kids in the same place I grew up, even if I was way higher up and completely across town. It was time I gave up the race with the other rats for a while and brought my feet back to the ground. There was nothing special about living that way, but there was definitely something special about living the way these folks in Bonanza lived. They appreciated everything, put in blood, sweat, and tears for the things they had, and above all else, most of them were beyond honest in the life they led. Those were the kinds of people I wanted to fight to have in my life, not the kind of men who would drop me on a dime because they didn’t like where I came from, who judged me without even knowing who I was or why I did the things I had done.
All that was left to do was try to convince Sara I wasn’t one of those rats anymore, which might be harder than it seemed. She had seen me at my worst, and I needed to show her me at my best, and it wasn’t in that penthouse or at those fancy galas. I fell asleep that night thinking about Sara and hoping for a brighter future. The next day, I woke up and got dressed, walking across the street to grab a bagel and coffee before heading out. I jumped in my SUV and started through the town, smiling at all the shops and people milling around. I had missed this place and now understood a lot better why Sara was so in love with her hometown. I stopped at the stop sign in the center of town and looked two blocks up. Coming down the street was the mobile vet van, and I chuckled, watching as it turned the corner and disappeared out of sight.
I nodded my head up and down with a smile on my face. I was glad to know she was using the thing. I knew it was vital to growing her business and would really help out the community a lot. Normally, I would have chased her down, but I wasn’t ready for that yet. I needed a plan, and I wasn’t anywhere even close to having one yet. However, as I sat there thinking, still sitting at that stop sign, I looked over to see Grange Hall where I had first met Sara. That was when I realized I may not have a plan, but I sure did know of someone who could help me come up with one.
I picked up my coffee and took another sip before pulling away from the stop sign. I headed out of town and drove toward the stables. I hadn’t been there before, but I had passed it a couple of times when I was staying in Bonanza the last time. It was the horse rescue that Sara loved so much, the place where she spent all her time she wasn’t at her practice. Her best friend, Alison, owned the place, and if there was anyone who knew Sara even better than I did, it would be her. I wasn’t sure how she would react to me, but I had to give it my best shot.
I took a right at the sign for the stables and headed up the long dirt road. On each side of me were fenced pastures, one I could tell had recently been fixed. It must have been the one that had been damaged, letting out the horses. Finally, I made it up the hill and to the front area where the large barns were located and where the farmhouse sat. I parked my SUV and got out, looking around at the lush green fields. As I scanned the area, my eyes fell on Alison, who was looking over at me with a surprised look on her face. She was working with a horse in the small paddock near the barn, so I nodded at her and made my way over.
“Alison?” I said.
“Hello, Ryan,” she said, looking over at me.
“You remember me.” I smiled.
“Of course,” she said. “What can I do for you today? Sara isn’t here.”
“I know. I saw her driving through town,” I said. “I actually came to talk to you. If you have a few minutes, I really want to try to work things out with Sara, and I was hoping you would have some advice on how I could win her back.”
She put her hand over her eyes, shielding them from the sun as she looked at me with mistrust. She pulled the horse over to the side and walked out of the gate, wiping her hands on her pants. She walked up to me and leaned against the fence.
“I care about her,” I said. “I miss her.”
“Well,” she said finally. “You have to treat Sara with respect and realize that she’s got a life here in Bonanza, a life that she loves very much. She’s not going to drop everything to move to New York City just because you have enough money to buy the entirety of this town.”
“Right,” I said. “Would it help if I did buy the town?”
She looked at me for a minute and then smiled, bursting into laughter.
Chapter 52
Sara
I had made my last house call for the day, and it was barely even lunchtime. Things had been a little slow since I got back, but I knew business would pick up soon. It was almost time to start shoeing the horses and getting things set up for the coming fall. I picked up my cell phone and gave my assistant a call.
“Hey,” she said. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” I said. “Any calls or appointments come in for the rest of the day?”
“Nope,” she said. “It’s been quiet as a mouse around here.”
“All right,” I said. “Go ahead and close up shop then. Just put a note on the door that tells people to call my cell at the mobile vet if they need anything. You can put the number on there too. I’ll take whatever calls come in. I’m probably going to go over and tend to the horses at the stables.”
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yep,” I said. “Thanks.”
I jumped back into the van and turned on the radio, feeling good about the day’s work I had done. It felt really good to be back, and I had already used the new equipment to help several animals. People were really interested in how everything worked, and I even got asked to show some of the kids at the local elementary school what I did with everything in the mobile lab. Alison hadn’t had a chance to check it out yet, so I was going to head over there and give her the tour. Afterward, we’d planned on using some of the new equipment on the horses to see if there was anything we could do to help some of them. I had the equipment, so I figured I should put it to good use, and there was no better use than to help those horses.
I drove along with the window down, feeling the warm air wash over me. It was nice to feel normal again, to feel like I was back on track with my life. Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about Ryan throughout the day. I’d even thought I saw his vehicle earlier that day when I was on my way to a house call. Of course, I knew I was imagining things, only slightly hoping he would show up again. I knew that was crazy of me to think. Things like that only happened in movies. I put the thought out of my mind as I turned up the drive, slowly making my way up to the stables. As I got over the hill, I touched the brakes when I saw a familiar SUV parked in front of the house. Immediately, my heart started to pound heavily in my chest.
Could it be him? I shook my head and chuckled to myself. No, of course not, Ryan was tucked away in his New York City penthouse, not sitting in some dusty driveway on the other side of the country. There were plenty of folks in Bonanza and the surrounding areas who drove dark, tinted-glass SUVs. They were great for hauling loads or being transportation for some of the big families in the area. Some of the people out here went nuts when it came to having kids, broods walking around the fair every year. I pulled in next to it and parked the van, turning off t
he ignition and grabbing my bag. I got out and looked at the truck, sighing at the thought of Ryan.
Sure, you didn’t see many Mercedes around that area, but maybe there was some new rich donor coming around to take a tour of the facility. Alison always did have a way with people, and every once in a while, she managed to get some rich person from the city to come out and tour the place, ultimately donating money or equipment for the cause. She had a great personality, and she knew if she could get them there, she could talk them into buying just about anything. It was like her special gift and the reason we had so many nice new saddles and care equipment. There was a man from Portland I knew was sweet on her and came around every year to “tour” the facility.
I put my bag over my shoulder and walked toward the barn, prepared to meet some rich guy inside. As I approached the doors, I could hear Alison talking inside. I quietly opened the door and walked through, stopping in my tracks when I saw Ryan standing there next to Alison.
“So, with these horses especially, they tend to get anxious,” Alison explained. “Many of them were workhorses, some were abused, and almost all of them have something wrong with them, so they tend to be in pain from time to time. When they sense nervousness or are around someone new or even when a storm is blowing in, they get nervous. All you have to do is stick your hand out like this and very slowly brush it over their nose. It shows them you’re not afraid and that you’re gentle.”
I leaned against one of the posts and dropped my bag on the floor watching. Ryan stood there in his nice shirt and jeans, carefully reaching his hand out for the horse. The horse bobbed its head and snorted, and Ryan jumped a little. It was obvious he had never been around a horse before. Alison grabbed his hand and smiled as she pulled it back toward the horse and rubbed it up and down his nose. Ryan relaxed just a little, but his awkwardness was both funny and adorable. I couldn’t help but laugh. I tried to hold it back, wanting to watch them a bit longer before they noticed me, but it came out without warning. He turned his head toward me and smiled big, his hand still on the horse’s nose.
My Last First Kiss Page 54