There was just too much at stake for me and Bryson if things didn’t work out between us, or I got in too deep and he didn’t follow.
Bryson had taken to boxing as much as he’d taken to Ken, and I felt a bit like I got in the middle of it. I could see just how much Ken loved it too, and I couldn’t help worrying what the future held for us.
14
Lydia
“All right, you two,” I called to them after a few minutes of standing there watching them. “You can take a break right now. It’s time for dinner.”
“Mom,” Bryson whined. “It was just getting good!”
I rolled my eyes at my son’s pouting face. “You can continue it another day, okay? But if you’re not both in here and at the table in a few minutes, you’ll be getting saltine crackers for dinner.”
That had him scrambling inside, and Ken laughed as he watched my little guy run. He shoved his hands into his pockets, eyes bright and aimed at me as he moved to lean against the door jamb, a few feet away from me.
“Do I get any dinner, or do you want me to go home?”
Like it always did in his presence, my heart had started beating fast. I did my best not to show it as I turned away and headed inside ahead of him.
“You can come in, but if you’re any later, you won’t be getting any either.”
His chuckle, when it came, was low and husky. His hand brushed against my ass as he passed me, and I could feel my face heat when I realized the innuendo my words implied. As if I could stop myself from jumping him.
I set the food on the table, and we ate. I kept silent, mostly watching Ken as he and Bryson chatted about what they’d gone through so far in their lessons. I wasn’t sure how much Ken even charged for them, but he hadn't asked for any payment from me. Bryson looked the happiest talking to him than he had been for some time as well.
What am I going to do if I ruin this?
When it came time for Bryson’s bedtime, I put the thought out of my mind. I wasn’t going to let it bother me for a while, not as long as things between Ken and me remained good, and so far, I thought things were still pretty great.
“Mmm,” Ken murmured in my ear. We were in my room after I’d tucked Bryson into bed, and he hugged me from behind, dragging my body against his. “I missed you today,” he said, voice husky, placing kisses along my neck.
I sighed as I leaned back into his embrace, tilting my head so he had more access to my neck. My body grew warm with arousal at the nearly innocent touch, and I arched my back, rubbing my ass against his hard length, loving the way that sent sparks through my lower abdomen.
“I need you, Ken,” I said, breathless.
He stilled against me, and a part of me was just as surprised as he was. Where exactly was this behavior coming from? I didn’t always leave him to make the first move, but it was such an obvious one, I would have blushed had I been in my right mind.
But I wasn’t.
I turned around in his arms before he could get a hold of himself, wrapping my arms around his neck and taking his lips in a rough kiss.
“What’s gotten into you?” he asked with a chuckle, looking down at me, eyes alight with humor. “Should I take that as you missed me, too?”
I nodded, biting my lip. Then I got on the tip of my toes to kiss him again, but he moved back before I could. Before I could overreact, he smirked down at me.
“I still stink of sweat from the workout. Do you mind if I use your shower first?”
I shook my head, even as I tightened my arms around his neck. “Of course, I don’t mind,” I said innocently. “But would you mind if I joined you?”
His eyes widened at the bold statement. Usually, he’d drag me with him, or I’d go first, and he’d just follow me inside. Then he was grinning at me. He ducked down, and I yelped when he suddenly picked me up, hooking an arm under my knees and back, carrying me over to my bathroom.
“You know I wouldn’t mind, Lydia. I’d love it.”
I took his word for it. He let me down in the bathroom, then turned on the shower. As we waited for the water to warm up, we stripped each other down. My body was hotter than it had ever been before, and I couldn’t stop touching every bit of his skin I revealed, as if I would never get the chance to do it again. I could tell he was puzzled by how forward I was being, but he seemed to love it.
Both naked and the water warmed up, he dragged me into the shower enclosure.
“You’re so fucking hot, Lydia,” he growled as he licked the water flowing down the side of my neck. “I’m never going to get enough of you.”
My heart gave a hard thump at his words, even as my mind scrambled to cover it up. Don’t think too much about it! He’s just saying it in the heat of the moment…
I slid my hands into his wet hair, clenching it tightly in my fist and tugging his head up to fit my lips against his again. Ken groaned at my attack, pushing me up against the shower wall as his hands roamed over my body. I was panting and squirming as his fingers teased at my breasts, then one of his hands dropped between my thighs. I parted them for him even further, rocking my hips against his hand.
“Lydia,” he groaned against my lips as he circled a finger tightly around my clit.
All I could do was moan. Then, he was tugging on the back of my thighs, and I held his neck tightly as he lifted me against the shower wall, wrapping my legs around his hips. The water felt warm and wonderful, even with the cold shower wall against my back, and he slid into me, carefully, slowly. As excited as he seemed, he could still be this gentle with me. He rocked his body against mine, his cock moving slowly in and out of me, and I gasped with every slide. I tilted my head back against the shower wall, letting myself go as he invaded me totally.
The water pouring over us hid my tears. I couldn’t even call this fucking; it felt too much like Ken was making love to me in my shower, and yet, I didn’t think that could be it.
Something was wrong. I couldn't hide it from myself any longer.
Everything seemed just fine, but I could feel it, and my intuition had never been wrong. While I hadn't noticed anything strange about Mike’s behavior in the lead up to the divorce, I’d felt the same dread that filled my chest, even as I gave into the pleasure I was getting from Ken.
He’s going to realize it, or something is going to make him realize. That I’m no good for him, too old, too many responsibilities, something…
Feeling desperation rise in my chest, I held his hair and tugged his head away from where he was nipping and sucking on my neck. I’d need a scarf to hide the marks he was probably leaving, but I was suddenly possessive of those marks. It was a shame they would be gone in a couple of days. I angled his head and leaned in for a kiss, sweeping my tongue into his mouth as soon as he parted for me. Ken groaned, his hands holding me tighter as he fucked me just a little faster, a little harder against the shower wall. I muffled a moan into his mouth, feeling my insides growing tight as my climax approached.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you today,” he growled in between kisses, “but I like it.”
I chuckled, cutting off with a gasp when he moved his hips just right and hit something inside me that had me squirming against him.
“I just really, really missed you,” I said.
He groaned and picked up his pace again. I held onto him as my body shuddered in orgasm, Ken going still against me in his climax. We stayed in that position for a while as we caught our breath. The shower was cooling down again, and Ken let me down. He had to hold onto me because my legs were still shaky.
I was very conscious of the difference between us. Ken had to wash us both as I stayed leaning against the shower wall. Then, he picked me up and walked me out of the shower stall, pausing to towel the both of us down. He carried me into bed and tucked me in as I’d done for Bryson. Fear struck my heart when I thought he would leave, and I clutched at his arm. He arched his eyebrows at me, surprised, and I could feel my face warming up in a blush.
&nb
sp; “Do you… think you could stay?” I asked. “Just for a little bit, until I fall asleep?”
Ken didn’t seem to think anything was wrong, though he did give me a curious look. But he just smiled and pulled the covers back, having me scoot further back so he could get inside with me.
“Why not?” he said easily. “Any time you want me to hold you, all you have to do is ask. I don’t mind.”
Even as I tucked myself against his chest, my heart wouldn’t calm down. Surely, if I noticed it, so would he? I could feel his half hard cock pressed against me, but I knew I couldn’t do more than we already had for the day because I was still exhausted from work. He wanted more, but he wasn’t pushing for it.
How long would it take? I wondered to myself. Before he realizes that I’m old. Too old for him. That he was good-looking enough to get a woman younger than me easily.
Hell, even Annara would be a good catch. She wasn’t too much younger than me, but she looked and acted way younger than her age in a way that I couldn’t.
That was where my problem became known to me. It wasn’t about Ken’s age at all. It was about mine.
15
Kenji
It was another lovely day with Lydia. I was taking a shower after our usual activities. Lydia had insisted on us taking separate showers because she was tired. We’d gone two rounds already. Because I didn’t want to overburden her, I agreed to it. I pouted the entire time, but she’d turned her head away and pretended not to see.
“Ken!”
I paused, wiping water off my face. I turned around to see Lydia standing at the door, dressed in a pair of cotton track pants and a t-shirt, hair still wet.
“What is it? Did you change your mind?” I asked with a smirk, feeling a little hopeful. I pouted again when she shook her head.
“Your phone is ringing. I don’t know if it’s anything important…”
Now that she said it, I could hear it over the sound of the shower. My heart thumped for a moment, but the call cut off. There was another sound, this one for notifications, and I felt relieved.
No way would that guy send me a text.
It was probably something else that had come up.
“Can you check what it’s about for me? I’m almost done here.”
She looked surprised, probably that I was so trusting of her to handle my phone, but it wasn’t like I had that many secrets. I regretted it the moment I was out of the bathroom, and I found her sitting on the bed, frowning down at my phone. I’d forgotten the other secret I was keeping from her because most of my focus was on the news I was still waiting on from my friend.
“Who the hell is Kenji?” she asked, and my chest tightened.
“Um…”
Fuck, what do I say to her?
She didn’t look angry or anything, but I had hoped that this one thing would never make it on her radar. It wasn’t something I needed her knowing, but I’d grown so comfortable around her as to be careless. I took too long to reply, and she set the phone down on the nightstand, arching an eyebrow at me.
“Is there something you need to tell me?”
“What was the message about?”
“Someone’s messaging you about some woman called Ella. She’s getting married.”
I tightened my lips. It must have been one of my old friends. I could have told them I didn’t need any news about that woman. She’d already left me at the altar, what would I care if she walked down it for someone else? I wished the bastard luck with her, whoever he was.
“It’s nothing important, then,” I muttered, picking up the phone and deleting the message without reading it. I canceled the whole thread, and thought about deleting the idiot’s number, but decided to leave it.
“Are you going to tell me why this person called you Kenji?” Lydia asked.
I sighed as I sat down on the bed. I still had only a towel wrapped around my hips, but I didn’t have the energy to move around at that moment.
“I’ve been a little worried about this,” I admitted.
“About what?” she asked, frowning.
I took a deep breath and turned to face her so I could explain. “I’ve been going by Ken since I was a kid, but the name my parents gave me when I was born was Kenji.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s a Japanese name, though?”
“My parents are…” I started to explain, twisting my lips. “Hippies, you could say. They like to make their own rules instead of following the ones laid down by society. Around the time I was conceived, they were touring Japan. I was born here, but they were still in a bit of a craze over the country, so Mom named me Kenji.”
Her frown deepened. “Why did you hide it from me? It’s nothing bad; kids can't help what their parents name them. When I was younger, I didn’t like my name.”
I smiled, my chest warming up at her attempt to make me feel better. She placed one of her hands on my shoulder and rubbed gentle circles against my skin. Usually, when she touched me, I would be turned on. Right then, though, my mind was filled with the entire childhood trauma surrounding my name and my family life.
“I didn’t like my name either, but it was more than that,” I admitted. “Yeah, the name Kenji is Japanese. A lot of people surprisingly know this, and when I was a kid, I got a lot of heat because of it. My parents’ response to it all was that I should have ignored them. It’s not an easy thing to do when you go to school, though, not with so many people ganging up on you. My parents didn’t understand that I wasn’t like them. I wasn’t very happy with them for a long time.”
Her hand stilled, and when I glanced at her out of the corner of my eyes, she was looking at me with her eyes widened in surprise.
“You were bullied as a kid?” she said, tone incredulous.
I nodded. “It’s part of why I got into boxing. I had a lot of frustration to let out. Not that I beat people up. I just needed a release, and I found it in boxing.”
After a moment, she got back to rubbing those soothing circles that had my tense muscles relaxing. I could understand her surprise. Most people wouldn’t look at a guy my size and assume I’d been bullied in high school. It was because of stupid stereotypes, like only little guys had shit growing up. That wasn’t true at all.
“So, who’s Ella, anyway? A friend of yours?”
I scowled. “Not even close. In a way, you could say it’s tied down with the issue I had with my flighty parents. Ella was my attempt at putting down roots. I wanted to settle down pretty young because I didn’t want to be like my parents. We made plans to get married, but… she wasn’t very into it. I wasn’t the only boyfriend she had, and I didn’t even find out until she didn’t show up to our wedding.”
Lydia winced. “Oh, wow. That’s bad.”
“I know, right?” We shared a look, and I knew she understood.
“Why would someone message you to tell you she’s getting married, though?”
I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. “He’s a friend. He was a groomsman at the wedding that never happened. I guess he’s trying to tell me to move on? As if I haven’t already. Why would I stay hung up on a woman like her?”
Besides, she’d been a way to escape the destiny that was my parents’ lifestyle, and she ended up being even more flighty than they were. I had no use for a woman that couldn’t keep her pants on in front of other men.
“It was humiliating at the time, getting stood up at my wedding and having to explain what happened, then finding out everything else afterward. But I consider it a gift now, the best that woman ever gave me. She dumped me because she couldn’t change, and I moved on to a better life.”
That didn’t make it all hurt any less, though, not for someone I’d given up so much trust to. The betrayal had cut deep, and it wasn’t something easy to forget.
“Well, I like your name,” Lydia declared, diverting my attention. “It sounds nice, and I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of.”
I smiled at her, pecking a kiss on her chee
k. “That’s nice of you to say. Even most of my friends my age give me shit over it, sometimes.” You’d think people would act grown up at the age of twenty-five, but no.
“I’m not going to,” she reassured me. Then she gave me an inviting smile. “Also, I was thinking. Bryson’s at a friend’s house for part of his break for Thanksgiving. That means we have the house to ourselves…”
Just like that, my body was heating up, and I looked at her with growing interest.
“I’m listening,” I said huskily, pulling her hand from my shoulder and placing kisses all over the back of it, never once straying my gaze from hers.
She gave me a sultry look through her lashes. “I did kind of like it that time we had sex on my couch,” she admitted shyly.
I grinned roguishly at her. “Is that so?”
Lydia was rarely playful, so I took advantage of it in the times when she was. Still dressed in nothing but a towel, I picked her up and carried her downstairs. I’d already had her twice in her room, and it was still early. If she wanted some couch action, I wasn’t going to complain.
We stripped down in the living room and fucked on the couch. Then we went to the kitchen for a drink and made out on the counter. We spent the evening doing all the shit I imagined parents dreamt of when their kids had somewhere else to be for a free day. We did all the stuff we didn’t normally do. Lydia even let me take her in the kitchen, bent over the counter with me fucking her from behind.
We walked around naked. She was shy about it, but I’d pause every few minutes to kiss and touch her, and she grew more comfortable with herself. I found her body beautiful, and I let her know. I was pretty comfortable myself, feeling satisfaction every time her gaze lingered on my body. I was smiling as we went to sleep later that night, wrapped in each other’s arms.
This time, I stayed until morning.
Boxer Next Door Page 10