by L. C. Davis
"You do know that you have to move here, right?"
A look of distress passed over the alpha's features. "Yes, I know."
Connor set his glass down, realizing he'd had one too many when his stomach churned despite the fact that he hadn't touched his food. If the French restaurant they were seated in was any indication, Mountain Ridge's fine dining scene left something to be desired.
"Are you alright? You look a bit green around the gills."
Connor was surprised Everett had even noticed since he'd been glued to his phone most of the night. "I'm not feeling great," he admitted. Probably the heat suppressants he had grudgingly started on just in case his last heat wasn't an isolated occurrence. He hadn't had another nightmare since that night, either, but he had been dreaming consistently ever since, so he didn't trust his body.
"I'll take you back," Everett said, flagging the waiter down for the check. "I'd love to have dinner with your family tomorrow evening. My treat, of course."
"I don't know about tomorrow. The kids are coming back from camp and I doubt they'd be able to find a sitter on short notice."
"Bring them," Everett said with an easy smile. "I don't mind."
"I thought you were only having pups because you need an heir."
Everett's expression turned blank. "Well, having your own is different. That's something we can sort out later," he said, taking his card back from the waiter and signing the receipt with a flourish. "Shall we?" he asked, offering his arm to Connor. "You don't look well at all."
"Yeah," Connor murmured, letting the alpha help him stand. He wouldn't usually tolerate such a chivalrous gesture, but he didn't fully trust himself to stand. By the time they made it back to the apartment, it was all he could do to stay upright with Everett's help.
The door opened and Toval's teasing grin faded as soon as he saw the omega's deteriorated state. His eyes blazed as he looked at Everett in accusation. "What happened to him?" he demanded, reaching out to steady Connor.
"I have no idea," Everett said, holding up his hands defensively. "He wasn't feeling well when we left the restaurant, he must have eaten something."
"I'm fine," Connor insisted, heading for the couch. As long as he was inside and not forced to deal with Everett's constant yammering on his own, he would be.
Toval sat beside him, pressing a hand to the omega's forehead. "Shit, you're burning up. What's wrong?"
"So sorry to interrupt, but I've got a call to make. Do you have a handle on this, or...?"
Toval shot Everett a withering glare. "You can go, I'll take care of him."
The alpha wasted no time in disappearing and Connor slumped against the couch in relief as soon as the door fell shut behind him. He still felt like shit, but at least now he knew the headache he'd had on the car ride home was unrelated to whatever mysterious affliction had overtaken him. Toval left only to return a moment later with a cold bottle of water. "Here, drink," he ordered.
Connor took a sip and while the cool water soothed the burning in his throat, it set his nausea off. He coughed and sputtered, relieved there was nothing more than bile and water to come up.
"Whoa," Toval murmured, grabbing a washcloth to wipe his face off. "That's it, you're going to the doctor. And don't you dare say you're fine."
"No," Connor conceded, pressing a hand over his mouth. "Where's Mel?"
"The kids got in early, so he went with Hassan to pick them up," he replied, his phone pressed to his ear. "No one's answering at the infirmary, so I'm just gonna take you down there myself. I'll call them when we get there."
Connor wanted to argue, but even if he'd had the energy, being in a hospital didn't seem like the worst thing. He moved to stand but Toval picked him up instead and he felt himself go limp in the beta's strong arms. "I gotcha," he said, carrying Connor down the hall and towards the elevators. The humiliation of appearing weak in front of the other wolves who passed them in the hall was only slightly diminished by the fact that he felt even weaker. Getting sick wasn't something that happened to him, but his body seemed intent on defying all his expectations lately.
Before long, Toval had him placed on an empty cot in the otherwise empty infirmary. It was far homier than Connor would have thought. The clinical white sheets and walls were offset by a soothing fountain in the lobby and a few accents that were undoubtedly Angel's doing.
"Where the hell is everyone?" Toval grumbled, looking around once Connor was settled. He stalked down the hall in the direction Connor could hear voices coming from, and the omega curled up on his side, trying not to breathe through his nose. The scent of antiseptic was making his sickness even worse.
Footsteps came towards him along with Toval's frantic explanation of what had happened to the two others who were with them. Connor turned his head and froze when he saw who it was. The Pine Valley Alpha and his mate seemed equally shocked to see him there.
Doc's eyes widened behind his glasses, but the middle-aged omega shifted immediately into a professional demeanor as he moved to his patient's side while his younger mate looked on in confusion. "Hello again, Connor. I hear you're not feeling very well?" he asked, slipping an electronic thermometer from the pocket of the white coat that didn't seem to want to close over his very pregnant stomach. If it hadn't been for his ability to tell a pregnant omega by his scent, Connor might not have been sure since the omega had been quite plush the last time he'd seen him.
"I've been better. A relief to you, I'm sure."
Doc gave him a kind smile and ran the thermometer across his forehead. "The past is the past for a reason. What seems to be bothering you and when did it start?"
"My stomach mostly. I feel weak, I guess," he admitted grudgingly. "I haven't felt great all week, but it got a lot worse tonight."
Doc frowned, looking him over. "Did anything change? Diet, medications, anything like that?"
Connor hesitated, glancing up at Toval and Blue.
"I'll uh, go tell the rest of the staff you won't be coming back to the party."
"Party?" Connor asked.
"I came up to help with Mel's pregnancy since it's high-risk," he replied. "I'm here often enough, so the staff decided to throw a little welcome-back get together."
"Sorry," Connor mumbled. Of all the times to start feeling guilt, he had to feel bad for ruining a party for someone he'd met once?"
"Trust me, those guys look for any reason to have cake," said Doc, moving to the sink to wash his hands and put on a fresh pair of gloves. "First things first, I'm going to take some blood."
"I'll call Mel and Hassan, let them know what's going on," said Toval. "If you're alright?"
"I'll be fine," Connor said, choosing his words carefully. When the beta turned to leave, he called, "Toval?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Toval smiled, giving him a nod before Doc drew the curtain around the small area surrounding the bed. He opened a fresh syringe and needle and hooked it up to a transparent line of tubing. "Roll up your sleeve, please."
Connor followed his request, surprised when the doctor carefully slipped the needle into the crook of his arm. It barely even hurt. "Why are you being so nice?" he murmured. "The last time we met, you were being sold at one of my auctions."
Doc looked up at him as the tube drained into a vile and he quickly swapped it out for a fresh one once it was filled. "If I didn't believe in second chances, I wouldn't have much. Now, like I was asking, have you started taking any new medication or stopped?"
"I just started taking heat suppressants."
"When?"
"A couple of days ago. Why?"
Doc gave a weary sigh as he slipped out the needle and began labeling the vials. "I keep telling them to be careful with those drugs. They work wonders for young, healthy omegas who want control over when they start a family, but the formula was never meant to be marketed as a heat suppressant. The dose you have to take for that simply isn't reliable."
"How do you know?"
"Because I was one of the researchers who developed it," he replied, slipping the vials into a chute inside the wall. "That's how it is with these corporate types, you deliver some promising results and they immediately start trying to figure out new ways of spinning them to turn a profit."
Connor winced, sitting up against the back of the bed. "Yeah, sorry. I'm kind of the black market version of 'those types.' You really think that's what's wrong with me?"
"The sickness started soon after you started taking the pills, so I believe it's likely. It's even more likely to happen in pregnant omegas."
Connor froze. "Pregnant?"
"That's another reason I told them to wait before the drugs made it to market," he muttered. "The chance of an omega being pregnant without knowing it are much too high for the kind of risk involved. Depending on the stage of development, I doubt you've been taking them long enough to result in any serious damage to the pup, but it would explain why you're so sick."
"I'm not pregnant. I don't even sleep with alphas."
"Are you sure?" Doc asked. "Betas, then?"
Connor gulped. "Okay, there was one alpha but it was my first heat in years and I hardly think --"
"How long ago was that?"
"About a month."
"Hm. Well, the blood test will tell us for sure. Take these," he said, offering Connor a couple of pills and a glass of water. "These will help with the nausea, but they shouldn't interact with the other meds you're taking."
Connor hesitated before deciding that if Doc wanted revenge, there were easier ways than getting it. Besides, he was sick enough that death seemed a preferable alternative to enduring the crippling nausea for another moment. "Thanks. But you don't understand, I can't be pregnant."
Doc gave him a sympathetic look. "Maybe you're not. If that's the case, then the bloodwork should give us a clue of where else to head."
"I can sense when another omega is pregnant. I'm the one who told Mel he was pregnant. Wouldn't I know?"
"Not necessarily. Most of us don't really notice our own scent, and the change is so gradual you probably wouldn't pick it up."
Connor groaned, burying his head in his hands. "I'm gonna fucking kill him..."
Doc watched him quizzically. "Who's that?"
"The fucking alpha who knocked me up," he snarled.
"Well, let's save the homicide for when we're sure you're pregnant. Otherwise you won't have a motive and I doubt the Tribunal will let you off twice."
Connor stared at the older alpha for a moment before Doc's face split into a grin. He couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Probably for the best. How long will it take?"
"Assuming the lab tech can stop stuffing his face and gets to work, we'll know by morning. I'd like to keep you under observation tonight, though."
"Connor?" Mel's voice echoed through the lobby and he peeled back the curtain, looking his brother over in panic.
"He's alright," Doc said with a laugh. "If you're here, I'm going to run and check on the lab."
Mel moved to Connor's bedside, his lips pursed in worry. "What happened?"
"I got sick. Doc thinks it's the heat suppressants I started taking."
"He'd know. He's kind of the foremost expert on omega reproduction in the world," Mel sat down on the edge of the bed. "You're sure you're okay? Toval said you were really sick."
"I was, but the meds Doc gave me helped."
"What did he say was wrong?"
"Likely nothing eight months or so and the complete loss of my dignity won't cure."
Mel frowned in confusion before realization gradually crept across his face. "You mean you're...?"
"That's the most plausible theory at the moment."
"Holy shit."
"That pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter. Go ahead."
"Go ahead and what?"
"A month ago, I was mocking you for being surprised by your own pregnancy. If ever there was a time for saying, 'I told you so,' it's now."
Mel sighed and curled up next to Connor, snuggling into his side. "You're scared and confused. Now's not the time even if I wanted to."
"I'm not scared."
Mel glanced pointedly at the halt monitor keeping a frantic rhythm.
"Fine, I'm scared," he muttered. "It's far more fun to be the one inspiring fear, I'd give the other side of the equation at one out of ten."
"I know this sounds cliché, but it really is going to be okay. Duke's a little rough around the edges, but he's a good guy. I'm sure Mitchell would prefer him taking over the Southeast Unit to Everett. I would've been here sooner, but I had to talk Toval down from ripping out his 'non-existent gelatin-based spine' for abandoning you when you were sick."
"How can something both have a gelatin base and not exist at the same time?"
"Connor."
"Just because Duke's sperm are as pigheaded and relentless as he is doesn't mean I'm going to be his mate."
Mel frowned. "But it's his pup."
"If I'm pregnant. If I keep it."
Mel opened his mouth to speak but closed it.
"Well, don't hold back," he muttered. "If you disapprove, just say so."
"It's not my place to say. You have options. This is one of the only packs in the Council where you do, and there's a reason for that," he said carefully. "I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't do, I'd just hate to see you make a decision because you feel pressured to take a mate or lose your freedom. This changes things. Mitchell could talk to the Tribunal --"
"I don't want anyone to know about this," Connor snapped.
Mel hesitated. "That's not possible, Connor. If you are pregnant, whatever you choose, pack law says Duke has a right to know about it."
"And if it's Everett's?"
Mel blinked. "It isn't."
"And how is anyone going to prove that?"
"Connor, don't do this. If Duke said something to piss you off, at least give him the chance to fix it. Just because you can do this alone doesn't mean you have to."
"I'm always alone," Connor seethed. He felt a twinge of guilt for the hurt and shock he could feel through their link, but for the first time, he shut it off. It was all too much, the fear and feeling, the guilt over things that once wouldn't have even phased him. He couldn't think through all the feelings, and cunning was the one advantage, the one friend he had always been able to rely on.
"That's not true."
"Isn't it? When we were young, we were all each other had. That was enough for me. Then you had Angel and the other omegas. You had Toval and Hassan and Mitchell."
"So do you! Can't you see that? They forgave you. They love you, just like I do."
"They tolerate me because of you, which is more than I can ask, but it doesn't change the fact that the only person I can depend on is me. I'm not like you, Mel. I'm not capable of caring about anyone other than you."
"Bullshit. And even if that's true, that doesn't mean it'll be that way forever. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."
Connor laughed bitterly. "If you think that was a selfless act, you really have become a foolish, naive omega."
"Or you're too stubborn to even entertain the idea that you could have anything in this life that doesn't cause you pain or require you to hurt others," Mel shot back. "I think that's why you're so set against Duke. Because he makes you feel things you'd like to believe you're incapable of, because it's easier that way. He asked you to be his mate that night, didn't he?"
"It's none of your business what he asked me."
"I know he did. I felt your anger through the link, the terror, and if there's one thing left in this world that even you're afraid of, it's hope. The possibility that as dark and ugly as the past was, there really is something better. something within your reach, if you just gave it a chance."
"You don't know what you're talking about," he hissed.
"You're angry because you know I'm right. This is the one thing you can't think your way out of, the one thing yo
u've actually let yourself hope for and you're fucking terrified it's going to change who you are," he murmured. "But I've got news for your, Connor, you've already changed. You're not the person you were back then. You're not evil or untouchable, but you're not weak and helpless like you were when we were kids, either. But that's the problem, isn't it? You're fine with everyone thinking you're a monster, because that persona, that shield you've built up around yourself keeps the world from seeing the truth. That underneath the legend, you're just a person. That you're capable of being hurt, which means you're capable of so much more than that, and that's what scares you more than anything."
"Get out. We're done talking about this."
"You know I'm right," Mel said in a sad tone though he stood and backed away. "I know because we're the same, but it's worth it, Connor. It's worth risking the pain to let someone else in."
"I said get out!" Connor seethed, his fists balled in the hospital bedding. As Mel turned and left the room, Connor felt the last chip of the wall that had been holding everything in place crumble. He bit down on his hand until his fangs drew blood to stifle the cry of rage building in his throat. Mel was wrong. He wasn't afraid of letting anyone else in. For the first time in his life, he was afraid of letting the poison that seemed as if it had always been there leak out and twist anyone else into the thing he had become.
Chapter Thirteen
DUKE
"He has a right to know. It's pack law."
Duke stilled as he heard Mel's voice coming from the private waiting room in the infirmary. He reminded himself not to grip the bouquet of flowers in his hand too hard since it would be easy to bruise the stems. He doubted Connor was the type to appreciate flowers, but he had already made the decision to go headlong into courtship and he had to start somewhere. The news of Connor's hospitalization hadn't reached him until that morning and the first time he had rushed to the hospital, he had come close to getting his ass laid out by Doc's mate and security guard, it seemed. Blue had assured him that Connor was fine but resting and Doc himself had ordered a hold on visitors after some confrontation the night before Duke couldn't even begin to guess at.