She hadn’t expected to feel this way—to have fallen so hard so quickly—but it wasn’t like this had come out of the blue. Chance had been there in the background, in her heart as a dear friend, for years now, and she simply hadn’t noticed that what she’d felt for him all that time was the quiet growth of love. And now that she did see it—it was both too late and not right.
Nana had tried to get her to eat something. She couldn’t choke anything down tonight, though, and the answer to her heartbreak wasn’t going to be found in a bowl of chocolate pudding or a toasted BLT. She wasn’t ready to talk yet, and Nana seemed to understand that. She’d raised Sadie, after all, and knew her rhythms. Nana stayed downstairs with her knitting all evening, offering Sadie quiet, steady support as her knitting needles clicked, and Sadie sat with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders with her work in front of her, sitting across from her grandmother on the couch.
The mayor had been clear: family members would be speaking at the ceremony the next morning, and she needed to adjust the schedule to allow for it.
Oh, Chance... If he spoke, it would break him. She knew how private Chance was, and how deeply he still grieved for his twin brother. If he didn’t stay for the event and allow the town to see his pain, they’d question why and gossip about nothing else for months. There was no winning this one. The mayor would have his way, and Chance would be put in the spotlight, the very place that would leave him most vulnerable and broken.
She’d spoken with the Flores family, and they were still hesitant. How many people had to be pushed into a painful position for one man’s plans?
The only other option was if Sadie openly defied the mayor, kept firm control of her event and blocked all the speakers the mayor had invited. Or if she allowed the people who wanted to say a few words to speak and then quickly ended things so that the others could be protected. That would still go against the mayor’s wishes, and it could very well be the death knell for her business.
There was a knock at the door, and Sadie’s heart leaped in her throat, half expecting it to be Chance. Although, that was more hope than any rational reasoning.
“Who’s that?” Sadie put her papers aside and went to the window to look out as her grandmother opened the door. It wasn’t Chance. It was a short, balding man wearing dress pants and shiny black shoes with a winter parka.
“Hello, come in,” Nana said, stepping back. Sadie joined her grandmother at the door, and the man gave them each a smile.
“I’m here to see the dollhouse,” he said. “I called earlier.”
“Yes, of course,” Nana said, casting Sadie an apologetic look. “Come with me.”
So this was her grandmother’s buyer for the dollhouse. Sadie had no idea where she’d found him, but Nana was nothing if not efficient, it seemed. Nana was going to pay her bills her way...and she’d sell the one piece of Sadie’s childhood that was left.
“I’m very excited to see this dollhouse,” the man said. “Fully furnished houses of good quality are hard to come by these days.”
Sadie’s heart thumped wildly in her chest. She’d given up a lot today—she’d driven away from the man she loved, and she was dealing with the mayor’s heavy-handed demands for the ceremony. She didn’t have it in her to see that dollhouse sold.
“And we’ve done all the work on this dollhouse by hand,” her grandmother said. “It was a labor of love, but we can build another one.” She turned to Sadie. “And we will, dear. I promise you that.”
“I saw the photos, and it did look very nicely done.” The man was smiling now, and he took a step forward to follow Nana down the hall when Sadie put out a hand to stop him.
“No. I’m very sorry to have wasted your time, sir, but the dollhouse is not for sale.”
Nana sighed. “Sadie, it’s worth a lot of money, and you know how much I need it right now. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
“I told you before—” Sadie attempted to keep her tone moderate, but she wasn’t succeeding. Not tonight.
“There was a posting for the dollhouse,” the man interrupted. “I spoke with Abigail, and she and I agreed on a price. I’ve seen all the photos—”
“I believe you,” Sadie replied tersely. “But the dollhouse is off the market.”
“It’s all I’ve got that’s worth anything, Sadie,” Nana whispered. “Please—”
“It is ours!” Sadie’s voice was rising, and she didn’t care. “I know you did most of the work, but I watched you, Nana. I was part of it. Or maybe it was part of me, I don’t know.” She cast about, looking for some solution. “I’ll buy it from you. You’ll have your money and you can do what you will with it, but I will not let that dollhouse out of this house!”
The man’s gaze flicked between the two women, eyebrows raised. “So, is it for sale, or isn’t it?”
Nana opened her mouth to reply, and Sadie felt tears mist her eyes. She’d been through too much today, and she felt the hot trail of a tear on her cheek. She dashed it away with the back of her hand.
“Oh...” Nana shook her head, and then she turned to the man still standing on the mat. “I’m sorry. It’s not for sale.”
The man blinked, then heaved a sigh. “Alright. If you change your mind, I’m still interested.”
He paused as if waiting to see if their minds might change right in front of him, and then he shook his head and pulled open the front door. Sadie stood in the open door and watched him pick his way down the slippery path back toward his car. Then she shut it firmly and turned back toward her grandmother.
“How much was he going to pay for it?” she asked.
When Nana said the amount, Sadie nearly choked. “What?”
Nana shrugged faintly. “A dollhouse like that is worth a good deal to the right person.”
“Apparently so,” she breathed. “Nana, I’ve already written the checks to pay off your bills myself. We’re family, and we’ll figure this out, okay?”
Nana nodded. “Thank you, Sadie.” They stood in silence for a couple of beats, and then Nana nodded toward the study. “Shall we go look at our handiwork?”
“Sure.” Sadie pulled a hand through her curly hair, tugging her fingers through some tangles. She followed her grandmother down the hall to the chilly, little room. Nana flicked on the light and together they looked down at the dollhouse of her girlhood. She reached out and touched the tiny, perfect shingles on the roof. This house represented years of meticulous work—every room, every detail. And they’d done it together.
“So what happened today?” Nana asked. “And don’t say nothing happened, because I can see it all over your face.”
Her grandmother knew her too well to hide it, and maybe it was time to talk.
“Chance said he loves me.”
“So he finally admitted it?” Nana asked with a low laugh. “About time. He’s been in love with you for years, you know.”
“I just found out,” Sadie said.
“And how do you feel about him?” Nana pressed.
Sadie rubbed her hands over her arms, and her heart ached so deeply that she hated to even say the words.
“I love him, too, Nana...as awful as that is. But it can’t work.”
“Why not?” Nana demanded. “I don’t see a problem. You were engaged to the wrong brother all along.”
“That doesn’t matter, though,” Sadie said. “I’m the reason Noah felt chased away. Chance says it’s because he was in love with me, and he couldn’t really support his brother through that. Not when Noah knew how Chance felt about me. And leaving the way I did, I pushed him out of town. If it weren’t for my selfish way of handling things, Noah might still be here.”
“Is that what Chance thinks?” Nana asked sadly.
“Yes.” She licked her lips. “And even if he didn’t, I’m too much like Mom. You could give me the world
on a platter and I wouldn’t be happy. In fact, Noah did—”
Nana frowned, then put a hand on Sadie’s arm. “You think you’re like your mother?”
“Oh, Nana, you’ve got to see it!” Sadie had no more strength for keeping up appearances. “Mom was always moving from man to man. Some were really nice and one of them wanted to marry her, too, but they never could nail her down. She always left and moved on to the next one. She was the same with jobs, or anything! Don’t you remember how many jobs I got excited about and then lost interest in over the years? There was a timer on her happiness, and I seem to be the same. Noah offered everything a woman could want, but it wasn’t enough for me and I did the same thing Mom did—took off at the last moment and left a trail of pain and heartbreak in my wake.”
Nana shook her head slowly. “Those were different circumstances, and you’re conflating them.”
“They aren’t all that different, Nana. Even I wasn’t enough for her...” The words caught in her throat.
“Your mother is an addict, Sadie. She left you with me because she wanted you to be safe while she went to Denver and partied with that new idiot she was dating. She knew you’d be safe with me, and she knew awful things could have happened if she brought you with her. That was probably the best bit of mothering she ever did, protecting you from all of that. She couldn’t be happy as a mother or even as a woman because she was constantly running after her next fix. It wasn’t a personality trait or a character defect—it was addiction!”
A lump threatened to close off Sadie’s throat, and she swallowed hard. “Then I’m worse.”
Nana slipped an arm around Sadie’s waist. “You aren’t worse, sweetheart. You’re like me.”
Sadie stood immobile, her grandmother’s words sifting through the layers of sadness. “How do you figure?” Her grandmother was the most stable woman Sadie knew.
“Noah offered you a ready-made life,” Nana said. “He’d already built and furnished the house. He had a business that was already thriving. He had a family that was willing to accept you. Your role in that life was all ready for you—a nice little spot just waiting for you to slide into it. All wonderful things—but all complete and ready-made. But you and I, Sadie, we don’t like things ready-made. We like to build them ourselves.”
“Like the dollhouse,” Sadie whispered.
“And your own event planning business,” Nana pointed out. “Noah was a wonderful man, dear, but he wasn’t the right man. You left because you couldn’t breathe. Your mother’s mistake wasn’t in leaving relationships that weren’t right for her. You can’t force yourself to fit where you don’t belong, dear. Her problem was drug abuse, and that led to leaving you behind, too. One day when she’s sober, leaving you is going to be her biggest regret in life. I guarantee that.”
“So I’m not like my mother, then?” Sadie asked.
“No, you’re cut from the same cloth I am, Sadie.” Nana turned Sadie to face her, then put a soft hand on her cheek. “You’re just like your nana. And when you find someone you can build a life with together, when you can build just as passionately as he does—then you’ll settle down. And you won’t sell it for anything.”
Was it possible that Nana was right? A new idea started to grow in her mind. Was it possible that the very thing she was searching for in life was as simple as finding a challenge?
“So forgive yourself, dear,” Nana said. “You are a good woman, and I’m proud of who you are.”
Sadie wrapped her arms around her grandmother, and the tears began to flow. Through her grandmother’s eyes, she could see a different version of herself that wasn’t the monster she imagined herself to be.
But that didn’t change the way she’d left town, and the fact that Noah had joined the army and eventually been shot because she hadn’t had the bravery to face him. It didn’t matter how much she loved Chance, or how much Chance loved her—it wasn’t a possibility, and that hurt more than she’d ever hurt before.
* * *
Chance sat in his office, the quiet evening settling in around him. This was where he came to think—he always had. Work had been his solace when he’d been in love with the wrong woman, and he’d been forced to watch her growing closer and closer to his only brother. That had been painful, the long drawn-out kind of pain that a man could slowly forget he was even feeling. He got used to it after a while, but there were days when it got to be too much, and he’d get into his cruiser and patrol. Officer Morgan was tougher than regular Chance. The uniform was like armor—it changed a man for the better.
Now as police chief, he was stronger because he had purpose. The department needed him for his skills, talent and professionalism. He helped to keep Comfort Creek safe, and he helped to heal the officers who came here for sensitivity training. He wasn’t just the guy who missed out on the only woman he’d ever loved, he was more...to Comfort Creek, at least.
But Sadie had fallen in love with him, too, and that was the point he was trying to ignore because they both knew it was impossible. She couldn’t be satisfied with what Chance had to offer, and Chance couldn’t find happiness where he’d never had a right to look for it. He was a moral man, even when that meant he couldn’t have his heart’s desire.
Lord, I’ve been praying for strength for so long now. He leaned his face into his hands. Why won’t You grant me the strength I need? I’ve been begging, Father. I’ve been begging...
Work had always been his solace, and while he couldn’t patrol now like he used to do, he did have an obligation to this town. The mayor was pushing him into a corner, and he had a choice to make. He could refuse to attend the ceremony, disrespecting the men who had died for their country, or he could face it and maybe at long last God would grant him the strength he needed to get through it. Put his foot into the Red Sea, so to speak.
It wasn’t right of the mayor to require this of a man. Chance didn’t have the kind of nature that opened up in front of others very easily. He wasn’t Noah, and he couldn’t offer this town the same charismatic comfort that his brother had. Chance was a different man. He felt deeply, but he only showed those inner depths to a select few.
Like Sadie.
He’d loved her for too long to be able to stop these feelings now. He’d just have to live with them, and maybe over time he could move them over to a place in his heart that could watch her move on with a different man and not feel the stab of jealousy. God didn’t always take away the fire, but He did walk through the flames with His child.
He rose to his feet and went over to his file cabinet. There was one other option for this ceremony that would be the most honest response to it all. He could stand in front of this town and he could give his brother’s military history, short as it was.
Noah had been proud of his service—of that Chance was positive. Noah’s pride in having protected his country had been as true a part of his nature as anything else about the man. He would present that—the information he’d been willing to share all along. The mayor might be his boss, but he didn’t own Chance, and Chance would not be shoved into a corner for anyone.
He pulled open the filing cabinet and went to the back file. This was where he kept his brother’s paperwork—his will, the confirmations from all of the financial matters they’d had to take care of after his brother’s death and his military papers.
Chance brought the thick file back to his desk, then opened it.
“Noah, I can do it my way,” he murmured. “I’ll show them this side of you. But the brotherly stuff I’m keeping between us. I had your back, man. I still do.”
That was the thing—he would have stood back and let his brother live a beautiful and loving life with Sadie. He’d have found a way to be happy for them because he loved them both, but he never would have overstepped that line. That night on the porch before the wedding when he’d said too much had been a mistake, and he’d never hav
e repeated it. Chance was a Christian who believed in right and wrong, and he believed that his Heavenly Father could reward him for the sacrifices he’d had to make. God was good—it was the foundation of his faith.
Standing next to his brother when Abigail had come into the church, her expression filled with apology, he’d known exactly where his loyalties lay—with Noah...even though his gut sank at the possibility that he was the one to blame for all of it.
Okay, let’s just get out of here, Chance had said, putting a firm hand on his brother’s shoulder.
Noah had stood there in shock for a moment, then turned to Chance and said, If you weren’t here with me, I’d think she’d left me for you...
I would never do that to you. Chance had stared into his brother’s anguished eyes. Never. You hear me?
The memory brought tears to his eyes, and he blinked them back as he pulled out a copy of his brother’s military application. He scanned the familiar information, his eyes moving over the name and birthdate, address and other contact information. But then he noticed something that he’d never stopped to look at before—the date at the top of the form. His breath stuck in his throat.
Could that be true? He stared at the numbers until they swam in front of his eyes, but there was no denying it. Noah had applied for the military two months before Sadie left him. This wasn’t a plan built on heartbreak, this was something he’d started before...
Had Noah been planning on marrying Sadie, and then telling her after the wedding that he was joining the military anyway?
Two months before the wedding...about the same time that Noah sat across from Chance at the steak joint saying that he wanted to call the whole thing off. Noah had already chosen the military life, so when Sadie left him, all he had to do was follow through when he received a reply to his application. If he and Sadie had been married already, maybe he’d have changed his mind, but without Sadie in the picture to root him to this town...
The Lawman's Runaway Bride Page 16