The Vows We Make (The Six Series Book 4)

by Sonya Loveday

  My hand splayed against his chest, feeling the bump of his heartbeat against my own. “No. I don’t think that makes you crazy.”

  He snorted.

  “I’m serious! You’re no more crazy than anyone else around here.”

  “That doesn’t mean much. Seriously though… What the hell have we gotten into?” he asked, walking backward, pulling me with him until we made it to the bed. He let go of me and sat with a bounce, head bumping hard against my stomach.

  His hair felt like silk against my fingertips as I brushed it back. Not that long ago, I did everything in my power to keep from falling in love with him. I’d run out of fingers to keep track of all the lies I’d told to convince not only me, but everyone around me, that I had no interest in a relationship with Mark. That I had no physical or emotional tie to him. And now? Now I can’t think of any reason to stay away.

  “It doesn’t matter, Mark. Whatever happens, we’re together, and we have our friends, so it’s not as if we’re going through any of it alone. And really, how dangerous is it if we’re here at the cabin?”

  He came up from the bed like a shot. “Paige, you just showered off someone’s blood. Someone who was left to die outside this cabin. Dangerous doesn’t even begin to cover the situation.”

  I jerked back. “I can’t allow myself to think like that. Not right now. Not while I haven’t had the chance to make sense of this. No rational reason even has a chance to take root in my mind before it’s slipping right out of my hands again. This stuff doesn’t happen to people like us. It only happens in movies.”

  He winced as he sat back down. “If only that were true.”

  I moved between his knees, sitting down in his lap and snuggling my head in the crook of his shoulder. “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the noise.”

  He chuckled. “The girl who slept with noise-canceling headphones for a month misses the noise?”

  I swatted absently at him, merely grazing him with my fingertips. “I did not.”

  His arms wrapped around me, and we fell over in a tangle of arms and legs. “As I recall, you threatened to buy eggshell foam and glue it to the walls and the ceiling just so you could have some peace and quiet.”

  I smiled remembering. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

  He caught my wet hair up in his hand and pulled me forward. “I didn’t think you’d stay. I thought for sure you’d pack all your stuff up and flag down a cab before I could stop you.”

  “But I didn’t.”

  “But you didn’t,” he repeated. My hair still caught up in his firm grip, he pulled my head closer, “No matter where we are, or what is going on around us, we will get through it together. Okay?”

  His words soothed the upheaval inside me. Made the darkness that took hold of me in the shower recede. I had to remember I wasn’t alone in the chaos, and as long as Mark was with me, I would be all right.

  FOUR DAYS LATER, THE GUY, Evan, died.

  I didn’t even know what the hell was wrong with him. Besides the fact he pretty much blew himself up in one of Oliver’s landmines, or whatever the hell it was he set around the cabin.

  The biggest question we had was how did Evan, who’d been missing from his post, end up getting himself killed a half mile from it? No one had an answer for that. And the only one who could have told us was dead. Had he been the one who’d hacked the system? If so, whom had he leaked the files to? Was his death a cover up to ensure he never talked? Or was it just that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and died because of it?

  Oliver assured us on a video call that the other explosives were deactivated. Even then, I refused to go more than a few yards outside the house.

  Deactivated… When the hell did my life become this? Paige is wilting. No one else saw it, or maybe they just chose not to. I couldn’t. I couldn’t sit there day after day, watching her slip further into the abyss, and not do anything about it.

  How could anyone?

  She said she was fine. Even joked around with Riley. It was like she was trying desperately to hold onto an invisible line that kept her afloat. It wasn’t working. Leaving would be the best thing for both of us. But where the hell would we go?

  “Mark?” Riley called from the kitchen.

  Closing the book I’d pretended to read for the last half hour, I pushed out of the recliner, holding back a grumble. “Coming.”

  The kitchen was full.

  Eli’s arms were crossed against his chest as he looked down at the table. He’d taken Evan’s death pretty hard. No one blamed him, but he carried it on his shoulders as if he were the cause of it.

  I was bitter. I felt it. I wanted to lash out because of it, but refrained because it wouldn’t make any damn bit of difference.

  “Oliver called,” Riley said as I pulled out the chair next to Eli and settled into it.

  “And…?” Why bother calling me into the kitchen to tell me? She could have just shouted it across the room.

  “And he said he’s heading back tomorrow.” She beamed.

  “That didna take long, aye?” Airen said.

  Paige moved away from the kitchen window to stand beside me, hand curling over my shoulder as she asked, “Did they find what they were looking for?”

  “He didn’t say,” Riley answered.

  “Does he know about Evan?” Jared asked, heels kicking against the cabinet where he perched.

  “He knows,” Eli answered, not looking up.

  “Eli, none of this is your fault. Stop beating yourself up,” Jared said.

  Paige glared at him. “It’s not that simple, Jared.”

  “Of course it is,” he scoffed. “No one here blames Eli for Evan’s death.”

  “It’s not that—”

  Eli put his hand out toward Paige. “He’s not going to understand it. Not like we do.”

  “Is Ella coming back with him?” Josh’s question kept Jared from arguing his point.

  “I don’t know. Oliver just said he was catching an early flight and that he’d see us tomorrow,” Riley answered.

  That had to be good… right? Oliver coming back must mean they found whatever it was they were looking for. And maybe, just maybe, Paige and I would be able to get back to our old lives.

  The thought was short lived. Even if Oliver came back with the information they’d set out to find, it didn’t mean it had any connection to the guy who had been following Paige.

  Paige wouldn’t be safe out of our apartment. Suddenly, staying at the cabin didn’t seem so bad. At least until that particular person was caught.

  “I really hope he comes back with good news. As much as I love being here with all of you, I’m ready to go back home and get back to work,” Paige said.

  I could hear the hope in her voice. It killed me because I knew that so long as there was a threat out there, we wouldn’t go back home. Not only would Jared’s parents veto it, so would I. I’d be all for going home, but only if it were safe.

  “Paige, we can’t go home yet. Even if Oliver found what he was looking for.” I flinched when she looked at me in disbelief.

  “Why the hell not?” she demanded.

  “Because someone was keeping tabs on you. Following you. They had pictures of him tailing you from the hospital and on your way home,” I reminded her.

  “What the bloody hell is wrong with people?” Airen asked, shaking her head before walking out of the kitchen.

  “That’s what I’d like to know too,” Josh said, smacking his hand against the table. “Why us? Why now?”

  Jared slid from the countertop, landing heavy on his feet. “It’s always been there. We were just a whole lot younger and easier to keep safe. After we graduated and set out into the world, we became moving targets.”

  “Well, isn’t that comforting?” Paige sarcastically said, worming her way onto my lap.

  “Not really, but so long as we stay here, and stick together, we’ll be safer,” Riley answered.

  Josh snorted. �
�Safe like Evan?”

  Eli winced.

  “Damn it, Josh!” Riley snapped.

  “What? Am I supposed to just forget someone died here because they’re caught up in the same thing we are? What was he doing out there anyway? I thought he wasn’t at his post?” Josh fired back.

  Paige’s hands fell to her lap. “We don’t know why; he never woke up to tell us.”

  “The whole thing smacks of a set up,” Josh huffed.

  “Set up or not… we’re safer together than we are apart. And as much as we don’t like being corralled like this, we should at least try to make the most of it,” Riley added.

  Jared snorted. “Make the most of it, huh?”

  Riley’s elbow shot out, wasp-like, at Jared.

  “Ooof.”

  “Jackass.”

  “Damn it, Riles. That hurt!”

  “Make the most out of it, Jared,” she answered before exiting as if she hadn’t just gut checked him.

  Josh, ignoring Jared’s grumbling, spoke over him, “So who’s up for some fishing?”

  “Are you crazy? What if one of those bombs, or whatever it is he planted, are still active?”

  “They aren’t,” Eli answered, pushing up from his seat. “Oliver wouldn’t take any chances with us.”

  “Are you serious? Someone already died because of the chances he took.”

  “Evan shouldn’t have been out there though. And if you remember, Oliver told us not to wander outside. Told us that he’d armed the property,” Eli said.

  “You just said it yourself—there was nothing anyone could do… Oliver had the property set to explode on anyone wandering around. So why the hell are you beating yourself up so bad over Evan?” I asked.

  “Have you ever held someone’s life in your hands? Fought with everything in you to keep their heart beating?” Eli asked.

  “You know I haven’t, Eli.”

  “You’ll never fully understand it until you’re cloaked with that responsibility.”

  “You did everything you could, Eli. Now it’s just finding your own way to deal with it. That’s when the healing will begin.” Paige’s weight moved from my lap as she stood. “Leaning on your friends isn’t a sign of weakness. Especially in times of self-questioning and forgiveness.”

  Eli bowed his head, hands clasped tightly on the table he took a deep breath and blew it out with a shudder.

  “Come fishing with me, Eli. You can tell the Hole your troubles. Maybe even take a little weight off your shoulders,” Josh said, clasping Eli’s shoulder with a slight shake.

  “You know we’re not going to catch anything, right? The water’s so cold the fish are hanging out in the deeper water,” I said before thinking about it. We never had any luck this time of year, but fishing would be a good distraction.

  “Get your jackets. I’ll make the hot chocolate and bring it out when it’s ready,” Paige said.

  A smile full of warmth spread along her lips. I leaned over and kissed her.

  “Try to refrain from shoving each other in. Even acute hypothermia isn’t fun to recover from,” she said, shooing us out of the kitchen.

  "I TOLD YOU THE FISH wouldn’t be biting,” I said, laying my fishing pole down and stuffing my hands in my pockets to gather a little bit of warmth to the nearly frozen digits.

  “Yeah, well, it wasn’t really about fishing as much as it was about getting out of that house,” Josh said, thumb jerking over his shoulder as he shook his head.

  “What’s wrong with the cabin?” Eli asked.

  “That is not the cabin anymore. It’s nothing like what it used to be. Now it sort of feels like a ski lodge or something,” Josh grumbled.

  “A ski lodge? Really? I kinda thought of it like a rental cabin. Like the ones they have in the Smokey Mountains,” Eli said.

  Josh scuffed the heel of his shoe against the deck, snorting. “Why’d they have to go and mess with it? It was perfect the way it was.”

  Jared, strolling down the dock with a cup of something steaming, stopped a few feet from us, eyes roaming over the water. “I guess they figured our group would grow.”

  We nodded, leaving our thoughts our own for the moment.

  “I know everyone is putout right now. I know this isn’t what you expected. Not how life was supposed to be for you. Hell, I’m just as disappointed as the rest of you. I’ve just had a few more months than you to deal with it.”

  “We’re trying, Jared. Really trying, but it’s not that easy…” Josh said.

  “Come on, Josh. This is right up your damn alley! You, the guy who quoted superhero crap to us all the time… you should be all giddy and shit,” Jared said, chuckling.

  Josh busted out laughing. “You’re such a dick, Jared.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “And them?” His hand swept to where Paige, Eli, and I sat.

  “Eli is a handful of years from being a doctor. Not the usual eight years, residencies, and whatever other hoops he would have had to jump through if he did it like everyone else. Paige, you have the same chance. Imagine… fast tracking your career with one-on-one real life scenarios.” Jared smiled in her direction.

  “And what about the certifications that have to be passed? Being accepted to the medical board?” Paige asked, twin patches of red flagging her cheeks. Partly from the brisk breeze that whipped past us, and partly from frustration.

  Jared always had a way of looking at things with rose-colored, platinum-framed glasses.

  “Be realistic. For just a minute, take all the sugarcoating away and listen to what you’re saying,” Paige argued.

  “No, you listen, Paige. All of you have the ability to be whatever you want to be. It’s right at the tip of your fingers. No classroom could ever give you what you’d receive from Cole Enterprise. There’s no limit to how much you could learn. There are no loans to repay. No overstuffed, full-of-themselves educators looking down at you between pinched brows and a bad comb-over.”

  “What?”

  “Okay. Bad analogy. But you know what I mean!” Jared tossed his hands at me.

  “And what? We’re supposed to be grateful for it? Tripping over our feet to fall in line with all of this?” Paige shoved her hands into her pockets and turned her back on us.

  “Excuse me,” Jared said, moving around me and grabbing Paige’s arm, spinning her to face him.

  “Let her go, Jared.” He’d crossed the line.

  “Before she was your girlfriend, she was our friend. I have every right to talk to her without you getting all caveman because I’m calling her out on her shit.”

  “Fiancé, and you’re still her friend, but you damn sure aren’t going to manhandle her because you have a point to prove.”

  He jabbed his middle finger in the air at me, letting go of Paige at the same time. “Do you think I wouldn’t jump at the opportunities you have? At least you guys will still be able to do what you wanted to do. I had to let go of my dream. I had to focus on other things. Things that bring me little joy. I’m blundering aimlessly in a life I didn’t expect at all, but at least I’m blessed to have Murphy in my corner. She’s the only sanity I have when all I want to do is lash out.

  “Now I have you guys back. But that’s all I have. So don’t think for a single second I don’t have the empathy to feel bad for you. I’m just too busy keeping myself from falling into my own cavern of hate.”

  He stormed off, leaving us standing there with our eyes wide and mouths clamped shut.

  “Damn. What a fucking mess,” Josh said, jogging to catch up with Jared.

  I CRADLED MY PHONE BETWEEN my hands, trying to pluck up the nerve to call the hospital and talk to my boss. I owed them an explanation for disappearing, but I had no idea what the hell to tell them.

  I pushed the power button on my cell phone and waited anxiously for it to turn on. I’d shut it off when we were in Chicago and hadn’t turned it back on since. I couldn’t hide forever though. It was time to face the music.


  My phone chirped and vibrated for a solid minute. Alerts, texts, emails, and voice mail all fought for their presence.

  “Wow, listen to that thing,” Riley said, poking her head into the bedroom.

  I worried the inside of my cheek when I saw the missed calls from the hospital.

  “Paige?” She sat beside me, bumping her knee into mine. “It can’t be that bad, right?”

  I replied with an abrupt laugh.

  “Want my advice?” she asked, pulling her knees up and curling her arms around them.

  “No, but you’re going to give it to me anyway,” I answered.

  “Shut up, bitch.” She let go of her legs and turned. Her knee pressed against my hip. Typical Riley, pushing her way through my bullshit moods. “I give good advice and you know it.”

  “I’m all ears,” I said, motioning for her to spill whatever harebrained idea she had.

  “Rip the Band-Aid off. Listen to your voice mails first, but put them on speaker. When you have them on speaker, it makes it seem more like you’re overhearing a one-sided conversation instead of something being directed at you.” Her toes wiggled against the outside of my thigh.

  I shoved her foot away. “You just want to be nosey.”

  “Actually, that’s not it at all. I just don’t want you to fall into a funk and be a raging bitch.” She slapped my leg, winked, and then walked out.

  “Love you too, Riles,” I shouted.

  I needed to listen to my voice mails or turn my phone off.

  “Hey.” Mark walked in, falling onto the bed beside me, pulling me down to him. “What are you doing in here all alone?”

  I lifted my phone up, grimacing. “Trying to decide if I want to listen to my messages or not.”

  He sighed. “I did that myself this morning.”

  “Was it bad?” I asked, rolling over onto my back and dropping my phone on my stomach.

  “Other than losing money from canceling three shoots? No.”

  “What did you tell them?” I asked.

  “Told them I was in training to be a superhero,” he said, turning over and propping himself up on his elbow.