by Max Hudson
“How can you tell them from anyone else in this town?”
Jack thought about it, a sobering and unpleasant realization. “Yeah,” he said, that pretty redhead’s face fresh in his memory, the hurtful things she’d said and, even more hurtful, truly believed. “Everybody’s out for themselves, eh? And I guess I’m no better. I’m just another power-hungry little fish with big dreams, waiting to get swallowed up by the next big shark that comes along.”
Tyler smiled. “No, I think you’re better than that, and meant for better things. We talked about hope and opportunity. But the real question is, what do we do with either? What are we hoping for, what is it that we seek to do with our scant few opportunities? To help others, or to help ourselves?”
“That reminds me,” Jack slurred, “I been meanin’ to ask. How can you be gay ... and a Republican? I don’t get it.”
“Because Democrats are the party of blowing it, that’s why.” Reading Jack’s facial expression, Tyler rolled his eyes. “Not like that! But Republicans run this country, always have, like it or not. They get things done. Also, a gay Dem? That’s just preaching to the choir.”
“I suppose.”
“No, Jack, youknow! And you gotta get on the right side of things, on the right side of history. I mean, c’mon, all that crap about lipstick and parades?”
Jack shrugged, eyebrows heavy on his drunken forehead. “No, I mean, that’s the party line, right? Personally, I don’t care what people do with their lives, what they are or how they feel or how they got that way. What’s that to me?”
Tyler raised his own Scotch, swaying drunkenly. “Well said.”
“And really, I’m for rights, y’know, personal rights, freedoms, all that. This is America!”
“America the beautiful!”
“It’s all about freedom, right?”
“Absolutely!”
“And, y’know, love …”
Tyler drained his drinks and winked at the bartender to deliver two more. “Love, yes!”
Jack finished his own drink. “You think Senator Cafferty was right, Ty? Did we blow it? Is the American experiment over and done with?”
“No, Jack no! We can't let that happen, no matter who comes against us. Our fathers fought for this country, they were willing to die for it. On the beaches of Normandy, in the jungles of Vietnam. Can our generation do any less? Dare we do any less?”
Jack shrugged drunkenly, a beleaguered smile on his face. “You're right, buddy, you're right. We gotta keep fighting, whatever the price. But what about the prize, Ty? What are we really fighting for? Democracy? Freedom? Love? Where's any of that in this fucked-up country? Where’s the love in this soulless, miserable town? You meet a girl … or a guy, same thing … you’re both attracted. But everybody’s playing their own game, right?”
Tyler shrugged, shoulders sagging. “Yeah, I guess we are.”
“We? No, man, I’m talkin’ about …” But Jack stopped himself as the new drinks arrived. He picked it up, reconsidering his loose tongue. No reason for his entanglements with Tabitha to complicate the conversation. “Well anyway, it’s a complicated town, that’s for sure.”
Tyler raised his glass. “I’ll drink to that.” Jack clinked his glass and the two shared a sip. Tyler looked at Jack, up and down, and smiled. “You’re a good man, Jack Ballen.”
Jack smiled and raised his own glass once again. “You too, Tyler Johns, you too.” They stood there, barely on their drunken feet, sipping from their drinks. Jack looked at himself, at Tyler, and said, “Look at us, the last men standing.”
Tyler chuckled. “Barely.” They laughed and clinked their glasses again.
A familiar song started banging out of the juke box, a synthetic beat with a driving synth bass line. “Oh, I love this song,” Tyler said, singing along with the female vocalist. “In the dark of night, when the moon is high and my love is looming, dusky smile / and the timing’s never been moreriiiiiiiiiiiight …”
Rock guitars kicked in, bold and distorted as the melody took a more raucous turn: “And the dark is the only light!”
Tyler and Jack shared a glance before Jack joined in, both of themrepeating together, “And the dark is the onlyliiiiiiiiiight!”
Jack fixed his hands in front of him, one near his belly, one at his side, an air guitarist for the ages. Tyler clutched an imaginary microphone, cradling the invisible cord with his free hand.
Together, they sang, “Where ever we are, we are together / whoever we are, we are one / one wonderswhyyyyyyyyy there is still so much between us …” The song’s beat abated, drum keeping a steady beat as the guitars and keyboards rang out to reach the crescendo of the chorus. “Where ever we are, whoever we are … we are one …”
“Hey,” an angry voice shouted from across the bar, “why don’t you two faggots keep it down over there?”
Jack and Tyler stopped and turned to see a few beefy men in flannel shirts hunkered down over a few beers at the end of the bar. Jack stepped forward, but Tyler put a pool cue between the two men, taking note of Jack’s ire.
Tyler said to the beefy men in the flannel, “Sorry, gents, you’re right, we got a bit out of hand there. We’ll buy you a beer, call it even?”
They looked at Tyler, then at Jack, who continued to glare at them. One of the two blue collar guys asked Jack, “What about you, tough guy? You got a problem?”
Jack glared at the man and then at Tyler, knowing he was outnumbered on too many fronts to count, much less win. He bit back on his anger and his tongue and backed down, forcing a smile.
“Just a little on edge, partner,” Jack said, glancing at the bartender. “Two more of whatever they’re having, plus a couple shots of bourbon on me.”
The bartender nodded, but the flannels weren’t impressed, their hairlines receding over their round, melon heads. As the free drinks arrived in front of them, they reconsidered. “All right, well, just keep it down then.”
Jack dropped a few tens on the bar, winked at them and said, “Sure we will, pal. Have yourselves a good one.”
A few tense moments later, Jack and Tyler were shuffling down the street, Tyler with more verve and speed, and reason for both.
Jack noticed and struggled to catch up. “Hey, Ty, what’s your rush?”
“To get away from you.”
“Wha —? Huh? What did I do? I stood up for you, for us, for… for whatever, and I still get a ration of shit for it? What the fuck, man?”
Tyler glared at Jack. “You were insulted.”
“Of course I was, he was insulting me, insulting us both!”
“But you were offended that he called you gay because you think it’s a bad thing, an insulting thing. If he’d called you white, you wouldn't have been offended.”
“He wouldn't have meant it that way.”
“It’s not him I care about,” Tyler said, his voice cracking just a bit, “it’s you!” But with that, he spun and stomped down the street to find his own way home. He’d have no escort and Jack would have no chance to right things, to apologize, at least not that night.
And he’d have some explaining to do to Senator Sommers the next morning.
Chapter Six
The next morning, Senator Sommers called Jack into his office as expected. Jack’s muscles were tense especially around his shoulders and neck. He didn't have the good news, or rather the terrible news, that his boss wanted and expected.
But when the senator handed Jack a cup of coffee, hot and black and robust, the scent was soothing and so was the gesture. “Jack, good to see you.” Jack smiled as the senator patted him on the back. “Everything good?”
Jack smiled, but it wasn’t easy. “Not making too much progress on the blackmail angle, Senator.”
“That’s all right, Jack, that’s just fine. I know how these things are; time takes time, am I right? You just keep doing what you’re doing, it’s no problem.” Senator Sommers gave Jack a reassuring tap on the shoulder. After a friendly pause, Se
nator Sommers said, “So, Jack, you and my L.A., Tabitha …”
Jack’s sense of security vanished, the coffee no longer soothing, the tap on his shoulder reassuring him of only one thing, and it wasn’t good news.
The senator went on, “You two are … close, it seems.”
Jack nodded. “She’s been very kind, shown me the ropes.”
“The ropes, is it?” Senator Sommers chuckled, but it didn’t last. “Listen, Jack, I like you, and I like Tabitha too. I feel as if you’re both, well, you’re like my own kids, y’understand?” Jack nodded but said nothing. “And that makes you two like siblings, right?”
“I suppose,” Jack said as he thought out what was really going on, “in a metaphorical way, I guess.”
“Right, just a metaphor. So let me be a little more direct. I know what you and Tabitha are up to, and I don’t object, unofficially. Officially, I can’t condone it; it could lead to all kinds of small talk, you know how this town is. But that’s just officially. Unofficially, like I said, I know how things are. She’s very pretty, and you’re a vital young man, it’s only natural.”
Jack took a sip of his coffee. “All right then,” he said with a smile, in a hurry to leave the office.
“But Jack, and my loyalty and my fondness to you both makes this difficult to say, but … you’re young and you should keep your options open, y’know?”
Jack smiled. “I think I do, sir.”
“I’m not sure you do,” Senator Sommers said with a sigh, rubbing the back of his own neck as he paced around the office. “Like I said, Tabitha’s great, and she’s great for you … for now. But I’m not sure I would trust her.”
This caught Jack’s attention. “How so, sir?”
“Not professionally, I don’t mean that. But … personally, I wouldn’t put all my eggs in that basket. There might be a hole in it and those eggs may just fall through.”
Jack knew then what his boss was getting at. As to why he was pressing the point, Jack couldn’t be sure. But he knew instantly that it didn’t really matter. His only response would be the same.
Truthful.
Jack said, “Tabitha and I are friends, Senator Sommers. If she’s dating somebody, or if I am, we support each other the way friends do.”
Senator Sommers kept a keen eye on Jack, taking in his relaxed demeanor and calm responses, nodding to agree with his own secret thoughts. “Good, Jack, very good, excellent. I’m glad to know all’s well with my team.”
“Far as I know,” Jack said, taking a sip of his coffee and heading for the office door with a relieved smile.
Jack walked down the hall and toward the rose garden for a moment to think, the air brisk and crisp, still lacking that awful summer humidity. Jack took a deep breath, ripe with the scent of the roses.
He had to wonder,What’s the senator up to? Why does he want to interfere with me and Tabitha? Does he have her working some secret subterfuge too? Is he turning her into a spy against me? But then he wouldn’t foster mistrust between us, that doesn’t make any sense!
Maybe he’s just being frank, and caring. He’s not some monster, after all. Just because he’s got some old-fashioned beliefs doesn’t mean he isn’t still a decent, caring human being, not to mention a practical man and a focused politician. And Tabitha doesn’t deny having other lovers, but I really did think she was just bluffing about it. Now I suppose it’s really true.
Well, I don’t have any claim on Tabitha’s loyalty.
And what about all this blackmail bullshit? Is that just the senator sowing the seeds of mistrust? Does he really think such a thing was happening, or is he just turning it into propaganda for his anti-gay bill?
And what about Tyler? What’s really going on there? Tyler was so mad at me. But I did stand up for him, for all of them.
Didn’t I? Or am I really no better than Senator Sommers, a hidden homophobe who doesn’t even know what a hater he is? No, that’s not me, that’s not the man I am. I like Tyler, and I don’t object to his life, or his lifestyle, or whatever it is.
So why do I feel so shitty about what happened?
Jack pulled out his smartphone and swiped the screen a few times, pulling up Tyler’s number. It rang twice.
Tyler said only, “What?”
Jack huffed up an awkward chuckle. “Tyler, it’s me.”
“Yeah, I know.”
A tense silence passed before Jack said, “Look, Ty, I’m sorry about what happened. I’d like you to give me a chance to explain.”
“A chance to rationalize,” Tyler said. “The way you really feel is perfectly plain to see.”
“No, Tyler, it’s not, not at all.” There was a skeptical silence before Jack went on, “Let’s meet for drinks after work, talk it out.”
“No, no more of that,” Tyler said, and Jack understood why. The night before had demonstrated the risk. But Jack’s disappointment was relieved when Tyler said, “I’ll stop by your place.”
“You know where I live?”
“The directory,” Tyler explained, and it was explanation enough. He ended the call without saying goodbye.
****
“I don’t see why you’re so upset,” Jack said as Tyler paced around the small living room of his one-room apartment.
“Because you think it’s disdainful, embarrassing. You should have seen your face.”
“I just didn’t like the guy’s attitude. He was insulting you, that’s what had me riled.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“What, you don’t believe me? You’re calling me a liar now?”
“You’re lying to yourself, Jack! You’re a homophobe, even if you don’t know it.”
“You’re talking about Senator Sommers, not me.”
Tyler looked Jack over. “I don’t see any difference at all.”
“That’s not fair,” Jack snapped back.
“So you admit that he’s wrong, that he’s a prejudiced bigot!”
“All right, he’s got some problems, but that’s not me!”
“Prove it!”
Jack sneered at Tyler. “I don’t have to prove anything to you!”
“Not to me,” Tyler said. “Prove it to yourself!”
“Fuck off,” Jack said, “I’m not interested.”
“No, you’re not just interested, Jack, you’re obsessed! You can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Just leave, would ya?”
But Tyler only took a step toward Jack, getting closer and closer to him and his secret truth. “You can’t stop thinking about it, about me.”
“Right now I’m thinking about knocking your lights out.”
“Then why’d you call me, why did you feel so badly about what happened last night?”
Jack shrugged. “I thought we were friends.”
“But you wanted to be even more than that and you still do! Admit it, Jack, admit that you’ve been living a lie!”
“You’re the one who’s lying,” Jack said, “and I don’t wanna hear any more about it.”
“Fine,” Tyler said, grabbing Jack’s face with one hand on each cheek and pulling him in for a deep, shocking kiss. Tyler shoved his tongue into Jack’s mouth, lips pressing together in a blur, a confused frenzy.
Jack’s shock subsided and he regained his senses, hands grasping Tyler’s as he pulled himself away from their lip lock. The two men looked into each other’s eyes, both resolved, determined, but Jack was torn between fury and passion.
Tyler’s conflicts weren’t quite the same, but they were just as pressing.
In that protracted moment of silence, the two men’s eyes locked, their wills silent or silenced.
Then their lips locked again.
Chapter Seven
They stood in the living room kissing, Tyler’s ease and skill with his tongue inspiring Jack’s. But even while Jack’s mind was racing, bursting with questions and concerns, his body was operating on auto-pilot, instincts taking over. He’d bedded dozens of women and his innate s
kills were just waiting to rise to the surface.
Tyler sank to his knees, pulling Jack’s slacks open and letting them fall to the floor around his ankles. His thick, long cock was already getting hard, rising up and lurching forward like some great and curious snake.
Tyler grabbed it with both hands, one at the base and one around mid-shaft. That reedy rod became fully erect while Tyler pumped and squeezed, giving Jack’s powerful prod a little twist.
Tyler took Jack’s balls in his hand, letting that hairy sack sink up and down, rolling them in his palm while he opened his mouth and gave Jack’s head a little lick. It twitched with joy, telling Tyler to proceed.
Tyler’s mouth wrapped around Jack’s cock, lips folded over his teeth to protect that precious prick while Tyler took it in, tongue sinking to make room. His warm, wet tongue wrapped around Jack’s heaving, purple head, finding each little curve and crevice, coating it with his soothing saliva.
Tyler took Jack in deeper, dropping his tongue further to accommodate Jack’s massive size and girth. Tyler retracted, kissing and licking that wet wand, blowing little streams of air against the wet skin, sending waves of delight through Jack’s body. He moaned, low and long, knees quivering as he barely remained on his feet.
Tyler smeared Jack's wet dick over his face, pressing it against his nose, his forehead, his cheeks and chin, kissing and nuzzling and virtually worshiping Jack’s Johnson.
Jack’s voice was a low, grainy groan as he said, “Oh yes, yessss …”
Tyler’s action increased, squeezing and pumping, licking and kissing and slathering that muscle rod.
Tyler pulled Jack down to the living room floor and he did not resist. The two men kissed, the taste of Jack’s cock still fresh on Tyler’s tongue. It was both familiar and new to Jack, his mind racing to understand what his body was already telling him.
Women, men, what’s the difference? It’s all basically the same.
And once Jack was on the ground, he was eager to give into his instincts, to turn off his skeptical mind and open his curious heart. His hands acted as if on their own, freeing Tyler’s own cock from his slacks, gripping and squeezing it the way Tyler did his own dick. He’d never held another man’s cock, but it almost felt like it was his. Jack matched Tyler’s action, squeeze for squeeze, pump for pump, kiss for kiss, lick for glorious lick, Jack as allowing Tyler to call the tune they were both dancing to.