Give Me Something I Can Feel

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Give Me Something I Can Feel Page 4

by B. Love


  I nodded. That gave her even more points in my book. But I was fasting. With that recollection I released her hand.

  “That’s what’s up. Yea, that’s me. And you are?”

  “Charlie White.”

  “Nice to meet you, Charlie.”

  The beauty… Charlie… wrapped her arm around her stomach and grabbed her elbow.

  “Nice to meet you too. And… Harlem?”

  I nodded and looked at Harlem briefly.

  “Saturday at noon?”

  “Saturday at noon.”

  “OK.”

  “OK.”

  This was the end of the conversation I’m sure, but my feet wouldn’t move. Neither could my eyes.

  “Charlie, can you come show me how to apply the coupon again?” somebody behind the register asked, but I didn’t see.

  All I saw was the beauty.

  All I saw was Charlie.

  And even though I didn’t know anything about her… there was something about her aura that told me she needed to be seen.

  901-612-9909: Hey, Charlie! This is Harlem (the girl from Bundled with the brother whose sneeze scared you) I can’t wait to meet with you today! Here’s our address – 5427 Valley Springs Dr. Call if you need help finding the place – Harlem

  I stared at Harlem’s text as I waited for Doctor Berry to join me in his office. This would be the first client meeting that I’ve been this excited about in a while! My excitement didn’t stem from the money I could potentially make, although that played a part in it, I was more excited about being around Knight.

  Yes, I had absolutely no plans of dating and getting into a relationship right now, but there was something about him that I just… really, really liked. It went beyond his looks and I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. Don’t get me wrong, though, Knight Carver was very nice on the eyes.

  He had the sexiest chestnut skin. You know, that sexy shade of brown that meant he had no trouble snatching panties. It was the kind of brown that wrapped around men of a certain kind of breed. The kind of brown that embraced his manhood. His blackness. His power. His sexy. His… him. The kind of brown that just looked damn good. And smooth. And edible. And right.

  Knight had that boy next door handsome. He was the kind of handsome that you might miss if you walked past him on the street, but once you set eyes on him… you’d never forget him. His hair was cut into a low tapered fade. Straight brows and dark ebony eyes gave him a no nonsense kind of look. He had the kind of eyes that felt like they were questioning you. Looking into you and questioning the depths of you; and there was nothing you could do but allow them to.

  Knight’s beard was more scruff than anything. It wasn’t like he was trying to grow it out to fit a trend. It was like… that had been his style for years. Like he just didn’t give a damn. Like he was rough and bad yet clean and good. I don’t know. The small amount of hair just fit him perfectly.

  I think I liked his lips the most. His classic, full lips. The top one was the color of his skin while the bottom one was deep pink. Pink! And it was just a tad bigger than the top one. Those lips were the first thing I noticed on his face, and as soon as I saw them I couldn’t help but wonder how they would feel.

  How they would taste.

  Now that I think about it, I noticed way too much about him in that short amount of time. Memorized too much about him in that short amount of time. If I was going to be working with his sister, and it seemed like the job was pretty much guaranteed at this point, I needed to steer clear of this. These… feelings. This desire. This lust. I never lust. Ever.

  “So sorry to keep you waiting, Charlie,” Doctor Berry spoke as he walked into his office and closed the door behind him. “How’ve you been?”

  “Good, Dr. Berry. You?”

  “Good,” he sat across from me behind his desk and smiled as he let out a tight exhale. “How’s that heart treating you?”

  As usual, my response to anyone asking about my heart was to rub it absently. Well, I guess it wasn’t really my heart. It wasn’t the one I was born with. I had open heart surgery when I was 19, and now… I had the heart of Angela Carver.

  “Great. Just great.”

  “Amazing. You know, out of 10 years, your testimony is the one I love telling the most. You were definitely saved by God that night, Charlie. He saved you. Your heart stopped just at the same time Angela’s husband decided to take her off of life support. And the fact that she’d requested that her heart be donated to you…”

  My eyes watered as I lowered my head. No matter the amount of time, the topic of Angela always got to me. She was literally like my angel here on earth. She’d been in the hospital a little less than me, but on one of our emergency room visits together, I was placed in a separate room in ICU. As I was getting settled in with IV’s being put on me and all of that, she was getting ready to head home.

  I didn’t know anything about Angela then, not even her name. She walked past my little area and because the curtain was slightly open, she was able to look in at me. I guess I looked young and out of place to her because her face scrunched up as she turned to get a better look at me.

  Doctor Berry came over, and they talked amongst themselves. He told her that I was there with heart complications, and that the only hope I really had at that point was to have a heart transplant. To my surprise, no, to my grace, she told Doctor Berry that she was a registered donor, and that when the time came, she wanted to donate her heart to me.

  I’d never gotten to talk to her. I didn’t even know until after the surgery had been performed and my parents told me. All I had was her act of kindness and what Doctor Berry said she said when she made the offer.

  He asked her why she wanted to do such a thing for a total and complete stranger, and she said that I was less of a stranger than any of us thought. That she wanted her heart to continue to beat even after she was gone. And I was too young to die if there was something she could do about it. The part about me being less of a stranger still didn’t make any sense to me, but I’d learned long ago to not question it and just thank God and Angela Carver.

  “I’m sorry, Charlie, I don’t want to make you cry. That just… blows my mind every time I see you. But anyway, our annual charity week is coming up. I can imagine the load you have on your shoulders with working and running a business, but I was wondering if you could volunteer this year? We could really use a fresh mind with new creativity. We’ve been doing kind of the same thing over the years because of the volunteer community we have, and because of that, we’ve been pulling in the same amount of money. This year I want to try something different in hopes of pulling in new sponsors and donations.”

  There was no way I could turn Doctor Berry down. Not after how good he’d been to my family and I over the years. But he was right… I had a lot on my plate. I guess it was a matter of priority at this point. I owed a lot to him, his staff, and this hospital. If they needed my help putting their event together, that’s what they’d have.

  It was their charity events over the years that helped to pay for my medicine, treatments, copays, and bills when my parents’ insurance said they’d reached their cap. Yea, they would definitely have my help.

  Five minutes into my drive I received a call from one of my most difficult clients. Bianca. Her father spoiled her before she left home, and her husband picked up, so she had this spirit of entitlement that rubbed me the wrong way every time I was around her. Had I known what I was signing up for I wouldn’t have taken her on as a client, but all of my initial meetings were done with her husband. I didn’t meet Bianca until my first day working with them.

  I’ve been dreading signing that contract ever since.

  I started to not answer. I started to just not answer, but the longer I looked at her name on my phone the more I remembered that a part of our agreement was that I be available 24/7. The only time I could put one client off was if I was with another. With the fakest cheerful voice I could muster, I answ
ered Bianca’s call.

  “Hey, Bianca.”

  “Charlie! Where are you? I need you.”

  “I’m on the way to meet with a potential client, B. What’s wrong, honey?”

  “I can’t tie my shoes.”

  My countenance fell at her admission. Was she really calling me because she couldn’t tie her shoes? Did she really want me to stop what I was doing to come and tie her shoes? No. That… she… no.

  “What did you just say?”

  “I said I can’t tie my shoes, Charlie. I’m supposed to go for a walk to try and get this baby out of me, but I can’t tie my shoes.”

  If she didn’t sound so distraught I would’ve laughed, but this was her first baby and it had proven to be an adjustment for her to share her body with someone else.

  “OK, Bianca, why don’t you take the shoes off, tie them, then put them on?”

  Her voice grew cold and low as she said, “You think I didn’t think about that, Charlie? I can’t get the shoes off the floor. Kevin put them on me before he left for work and I… I just need you to come and tie them for me.”

  Never mind the fact that she could’ve gotten one of her neighbors to do it. Never mind the fact that she could’ve used a broom or pair of tongs to pick up the shoes. This was typical spoiled Bianca.

  “Fine, Bianca. Give me about 15 minutes.”

  “15 minutes? You can’t get here any faster than that?”

  “Girl, you better...”

  “OK. OK. Thanks, Charlie. You’re the best.”

  With a nod I disconnected the call and pulled up Harlem’s text. I called the number to let her know I’d be a few minutes late.

  “Yea?” Knight answered and completely caught me off guard. So off guard I had to pull the phone from my ear to make sure I’d dialed the right number. “Hello?”

  “Oh. Yea. Sorry. Um, I was looking for Harlem. She texted me from this number.”

  “Charlie?”

  Why was I biting my cheek to avoid smiling at hearing him say my name?

  “Yea. I was just calling to let her, well you now, know that I’m going to be a few minutes late. One of my clients just called and asked me to come and tie her shoes so…”

  “Yo…” I could hear the chuckle in his voice as he cut what I assumed to be the radio in his car down. “Are you serious? People actually call you for that kind of stuff?”

  “You’d be surprised.”

  “That’s fine. I’m on my way home now so I’ll tell Harlem when I get there. I don’t know why she texted you from my phone instead of hers. I guess because I’ll be the one handling the business, but I’ll let her know you’re going to be a few minutes late.”

  “Great, thanks.”

  I was about to disconnect the call, ready to get his voice out of my ear and head, but he called my name and regained my attention.

  “Charlie?”

  “Yea?”

  “Um, I’m going to stop and grab something to eat. Maybe some wings. You… want something?”

  Not able to answer him right away, I allowed my smile to form as I shook my head.

  “That’s very sweet of you, but I’m still full from breakfast. Thank you, though, Knight.”

  “Cool. Well, I guess I’ll see you in a few.”

  “K.”

  I ended the call and any irritation I felt that was caused by Bianca’s random call had dissolved.

  Before Charlie came over I wanted to talk to pops about how involved he was going to be, and talk to Harlem about the baby’s daddy. As of now he was just a sperm donor to me, but she seemed to be kind of sensitive right now so I was trying to respect her feelings. We didn’t talk much the first day she was at my spot, but we had to have that talk when I got home.

  I needed to know how much was going to be required of me. As I sat in front of the home I grew up in so many different thoughts and feelings rushed through me. When my mom died I was on the road. It was my first year starting for the Grizzlies. I wasn’t able to come home much because of that, and after she died I really kept my distance.

  The relationship that my pops and I had was one of understanding and respect. He understood that I didn’t respect some of the ways he handled things, and I understood the fact that he didn’t give a damn what I thought and how I felt.

  As long as we didn’t stay around each other for too long we were good, which is why I wanted to keep this visit as quick as I possibly could. The goal was to get in, ask about Harlem, and get the hell out.

  I made my way up to the front door, and instead of using my key to let myself in I knocked on the door. About a minute passed before he was letting me in. We shook hands and I led the way to the living room. We shook hands. I haven’t seen my father in six months and we greet each other by shaking hands.

  Wasting no time, as soon as we sat down I jumped right in.

  “So, I just wanna know what you planning on doing for Harlem and the baby.”

  He looked at me like I’d asked him to name all 50 states in alphabetical order. With a low chuckle, he shook his head and leaned back in his seat.

  “I’m not doing anything for her and the baby. I made it very clear to her when she left what her options were. If she wanted to be grown she was going to do it on her own and get out of my house. If she wanted to continue to live here and let me raise her and provide for her she was going to have to get rid of it. I ain’t raising no more kids. None.”

  “You told her to get an abortion?”

  He shrugged and exhaled loudly as he swallowed.

  “I’m not raising no more kids.”

  “Apparently you’re not even raising her so why would I expect you to help her?”

  “Watch it, Knight.”

  I stood. Disappointed. But that shouldn’t surprise me. He’d been disappointing me ever since my mama died.

  “It’s cool. I’ll take care of her and the baby like mama would’ve wanted me to. I can’t believe you.”

  “Your mama would’ve wanted her to finish school and go to college before letting some boy knock her up.”

  “We’re past that now. Obviously that’s not going to happen. Now we have to come up with a plan of action for the position she’s in now. She’s your daughter, not mine. She’s 16 years old. And you’re sitting here telling me that you’re not going to do anything to help her?”

  He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me.

  “Fuck it. I don’t even know why I wasted my time even coming over here.”

  “I don’t either. You don’t come around for nothing else.”

  “Why should I? Every time I do it’s some shit. I’m tired of fighting with you all the time.”

  “There wouldn’t be a fight if you bowed down and showed me some respect.”

  “Bowed down?” my voice was raising right along with my anger, and he was just sitting there with the most nonchalant look on his face. “Show you some respect? I respect the God in you as a human being, but you’ve done nothing extra to gain more of my respect. All of the respect I had for you died right along with my mother.”

  “Will you let that go? What did you want me to do, son?”

  “I wanted you to fight! I wanted you to fight for us! For her!”

  “She was brain dead! The fuck did you want me to do? She was a vegetable! There was nothing I could do!”

  “But you didn’t even try,” my voice softened as my eyes watered.

  No matter how much time passed, I could never get over the day she died. How he was so quick to pull the plug on her. That did something to me. Made me feel like he didn’t really love her. Didn’t really love us. In my mind I knew that wasn’t true… but in my heart it was.

  “Knight, there was nothing I could do. She was tired of fighting, and honestly so was I.”

  “Oh. So that’s what this is about? You. You were tired of taking care of her so you just let her die?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying and you know it. I was the one that was here a
ll day every day with her while she was suffering and you were out being the big NBA superstar. The only thing she asked of you was that you finish your degree before you started in the NBA and you didn’t even give her that!”

  “You don’t think I know that?! You think that doesn’t eat at me every day of my fucking life? Why do you think I quit the league right after she died? I don’t need you throwing that shit up in my face every time I come around. That’s why I don’t come around. I feel guilty enough about not being here for her before she died. I don’t need you throwing it in my face. I refuse to not be here for Harlem. So you don’t have to worry about doing shit for her and the baby. I’ll take care of it all.”

  “Knight…”

  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  “Sweetheart!” I yelled as soon as I stepped foot in my home.

  “What, boo?” was her response from her room upstairs.

  “Get down here. I need to talk to you before Charlie gets here.”

  Heading into the kitchen with our food, I scratched her father’s name off my mental list of people she’d have to count on. Now I needed to see if she could depend on her sperm donor. If not, it would be up to me and Carmen. Mostly me since Carmen wasn’t even in town. She didn’t even come home yesterday like she said she was, but she was going to fly in tonight. And Charlie. Somehow, her being in the equation made it seem like we had more than enough help.

  It was the middle of the day, and after my conversation with Carmen and Harlem’s father, because I didn’t even consider him mine anymore, I felt like I needed a shot of something. Harlem’s feet shuffling down the stairs stopped me. I walked into the living room and found her laying on the couch in her pajamas.

  “Why did you text Charlie from my phone? And why aren’t you dressed? She’ll be here soon.”

  “Did you bring food, boo? I smell it,” I didn’t answer her as I sat on the opposite side of the couch. “I texted Charlie from your phone because I figured you’ll be the one she’s going to be talking to while we figure this out, so it makes more sense for her to have your number instead of mine. It’s only going to take me three seconds to throw on a pair of sweats.”

 

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