“I might not have any experience when it comes to being married, but I don’t think we have to have a marriage like other couples.” Yes, that was a good way to start. Encouraged, she scooted a little closer to him so that her breast brushed his arm. Though he stiffened, he didn’t pull away. Another good sign. “We’re different people. I think the best we can do is find what works for us.” She cleared her throat then forced out, “I’ve never been intimate with a man, but I’m sure there are some things we can do together that won’t risk me having a child.”
He turned toward her, his knee brushing hers, an action which sent another spark through her. Maybe he wouldn’t be so hard to convince after all.
“Well, there are,” he slowly began. “But are you really alright with the idea of not having any children?”
“I already have two. I think of Leroy and Hannah as my own. And um…I happened to find this.” She pulled out the sheath and showed it to him. “I heard it can prevent pregnancy if you’re willing to use it.”
“You mean to tell me the mercantile owner actually sold that to you?”
The mercantile owner? So men could buy them at the mercantile? She couldn’t recall seeing them any of the times she’d been there, but maybe he kept them hidden and only sold them when asked. Deciding not to address the issue of where she got the sheath, Eva said, “If you don’t want to use it, I’m willing to do other things. Granted, I don’t know what those things are, but I’m open to learning. I don’t want you to be out here on the couch. Even if you just want to hold me, I’d like to be with you at night.”
“We could do everything, and I’d be willing to put on a sheath.” He hesitated. “You’re really alright with this? You don’t mind making love knowing there’s no chance you’ll get a child?”
“No, I don’t mind.”
***
Feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he brought her into his arms. “Thank you.”
“Oh, Boaz. You have nothing to worry about with me.”
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Her lips were soft and warm, yielding to him. He’d forgotten how sweet a kiss could be without the lingering fear haunting him. There was so much promise and joy in such a simple action.
When the kiss ended, she stood up and held her hand to him. “Come to bed with me?”
He nodded and followed her, no longer forcing his gaze to the top of her head as he’d done in the past. This time, he let his gaze go lower, noting the soft curves he’d soon get to touch. It’d been so long since he’d been with a woman. As silly as it was, he felt like a virgin all over again. Would she be pleased with him or would she find him lacking?
When he hesitated at the doorway of the bedroom, she glanced at him. “Are you coming in?”
Catching her teasing tone, he relaxed but only slightly. “I didn’t think I’d be nervous about doing this.” He cleared his throat and shrugged. “I haven’t been with anyone since my first wife.”
“I understand.”
She walked over to him, and he had to fight the urge to step further into the hallway. This was silly. He should be rushing in there. Just moments ago, he was more than ready to go to this room and now that he was here, he wanted to go back to the couch? Maybe she understood it, but he surely didn’t.
“I’m nervous, too,” she whispered. “We haven’t been together like this yet. It’s only natural we feel this way.”
The tension eased, allowing him to proceed into the room. She did understand. And better yet, she didn’t think less of him because he wasn’t as confident as he should’ve been.
Unsure of how else to begin, he gathered her into his arms and kissed her, this time letting his lips linger on hers. Again, she responded to him, fully willing to keep going. Encouraged, he brushed her lower lip with his tongue. She paused for a moment then parted her lips, inviting him to enter and he did. He’d forgotten how intoxicating this type of kissing could be. Letting out a low moan, he pressed her closer to him. Her body felt like heaven against his, her curves molding into him.
They remained that way for a couple minutes, and it gave him time to work up the courage to remove her clothes. Though he was eager to see her in the remaining daylight that created a dim glow in the room, he took his time taking off her shirtwaist, her skirt, her bloomers, and her stockings. His hands brushed parts of her that further excited him and prompted him to keep going. By the time he lifted the chemise over her head, he’d forgotten all about his uncertainty.
All he could think about was how lovely she looked when she was naked. Perfectly round, pert breasts. The narrow waist. The curve of her hips. Her long, slender legs. Returning his gaze to her face, he noted the slight pink hue in her cheeks and offered her a reassuring smile. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Mrs. Grady.”
“You think so?”
“Sure do, and you’ll see just how much in a moment.”
He took off his clothes, aware that she was watching him. She didn’t strike him as a woman who would be timid about looking at her husband when he had nothing on, and she didn’t disappoint him. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her and she was too busy studying him to realize she was staring, something she’d recently told Hannah was an unladylike thing to do. Well, he certainly didn’t mind if Eva didn’t act like a lady in the bedroom. All of her prim and proper manners could stay at the bedroom door for all he cared.
When he realized her gaze lingered on his erection, he took her hand and cupped it around him. “This is what happens when I like what I see.”
“It is?”
Noting the curious tone in her question, he chuckled. “Yes. So every time you see it or feel it, you’ll know what it means.”
“So it’s not always like this?”
“No. Most of the time it just hangs down and isn’t as big.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He guided her hand up and down the length of him. “You can explore me all you want. This is one of the things we can do.” Letting go of her hand, he reached up and cupped her breasts in his hands. “And this is another thing we can do.” This time his voice came out in a whisper.
Between the thrilling sensation of her warm hand on his penis and the hardening of her nipples as he brushed his thumbs over them, it was getting difficult to concentrate. She felt even better than she looked. Her flesh was soft and yielding, responding nicely to him. And as he continued his exploration, she grew bolder in her own study of him. His first wife hadn’t wanted to touch him down there, so he had no idea a woman’s hand on that part of his body could bring him to the brink of wanting to find his release.
“This is actually a compliment,” he began as he reluctantly pulled Eva’s hand away from him, “but if you keep that up, something’s going to come out.”
“Something comes out of it?” She pointed to his erection.
“At the tip. A white liquid. That’s why I need the sheath.” He paused. “Where is it?”
“Oh, I put it back in my pocket on the way to this room.”
After he retrieved it, he led her to the bed and pulled back the blanket. She slipped into the bed. He slipped on the sheath before he joined her. Bringing her back into his arms, he kissed her again. She responded to him, but he noticed a slight hesitation on her part.
Pulling back, he asked, “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, I…I’m still nervous. Maybe a little more now than before. But I want to do this with you, Boaz.”
He wondered if he should warn her that there might be some pain, but he wasn’t sure she’d be any better off if she was too tense to relax because that could make things worse.
“Boaz, is something wrong?”
Not realizing he’d stopped caressing her, he stroked her back in soothing circular motions. “I…well…the first time might or might not be uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable? Because I’m nervous?”
“That’s part of it. When I enter you,
you’ll have to expand to accommodate me. I’m not sure how much you’ll need to expand. I know that doesn’t make much sense.” He was probably only confusing her and quite frankly, he didn’t know how else to explain it or how else to prepare her without scaring her. “I’ll do what I can to help you before I enter you.”
After a moment, she nodded. “I know you won’t do anything to hurt me.”
“I’ll do everything I can to make it enjoyable for you.”
“I know.”
She had no idea how much it meant to him that she trusted him and it made him want to be the best husband he could be. He gave her a kiss. “I love you, Eva.”
Her smile widened. “I love you, too.”
This time when he kissed her, he spent considerable time doing it. The urgency he’d experienced moments before when she’d been holding his erection had been replaced with a desire to make this act as pleasurable for her as possible. He noted the way she snuggled closer to him and was glad his warning hadn’t deterred her from relaxing in his arms. Good. The more relaxed she was, the better.
His lips left her mouth and he left a trail of kisses down her jaw and to her neck. She shivered in delight and tilted her head to the side, a silent encouragement for him to keep going. As he continued kissing her, he gently nudged her onto her back so he could trace the length of her body from her shoulder to her breast and then to the soft patch of curls between her legs. She gasped slightly when he brushed her entrance, but then she parted her legs for him.
While he slid a finger into her, he brought his mouth to one of her breasts and brushed her nipple with his tongue, tracing the edge of it before licking the center. He was rewarded with a moan as she lifted her hips so he could slide deeper into her. She felt wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Finding her sensitive nub with his thumb, he began rubbing it in circular motions, starting slow and steadily increasing in pressure as she murmured his name.
He slid a second finger into her. She was wetter than before, making it easier for him to stretch her virginal barrier. On its own accord, her body clenched around him, pulling him in further. After he slid a third finger into her, he earnestly began to stroke her core. He found the cushiony spot that marked the sensitive area deep within her and focused on caressing it.
She wiggled against him and gripped his arms, softly crying for him to keep going, rocking her hips to help him along. And he was more than happy to keep going. She was close to climaxing. Excited, he quickened the pacing of his thrusting, mindful to keep rubbing her nub since it served to heighten her pleasure.
Her fingers dug into his arms as she neared the peak and then with a louder cry, she grew tense as her flesh clenched and unclenched around him. He continued his ministrations until her body relaxed. He’d been able to stretch her out considerably during the process, so entering her should be much easier. He hoped it wouldn’t be painful at all but he’d done everything he could and had made sure to give her pleasure first.
Lifting his head, he caught sight of the contented smile on her lips. He slid his fingers out of her and saw the telltale traces of blood from having widened her barrier. Well, thankfully she hadn’t been in any discomfort from that part of it. He wiped his fingers on the blanket before she noticed them then settled between her legs.
He gave her another kiss. Her response wasn’t as passionate this time, something that was to be expected since she’d just experienced the heightened state of bliss of their lovemaking. But he couldn’t fight back the passion he was feeling at the moment, nor would he try if he could.
While she was still relaxed, he centered his tip at her entrance and after a quick debate on whether he should slide in slowly or just get it over with, he decided the quicker way was the best choice and pressed through the rest of her barrier. She stiffened against him. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to remain still and watched her, trying to decide when it was safe to move. Her flesh was incredibly inviting and it’d been so long since he’d been so intimately connected with a woman that this simple action was nearly his undoing. But he didn’t dare proceed further until she allowed it.
She looked up at him. “Is that it? Are you done?”
“No,” he forced out. Good grief but it was hard to have a conversation right now. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.”
Relieved, he slowly moved out and then back into her. She had accepted him easily enough. Her legs wrapped around his and she lifted her hips to take him in more deeply. He groaned and proceeded to make love to her. The whole process was much more wonderful than he remembered. No wonder he had longed to do this so much in the past. If there was anything that felt as good as this, he didn’t know what it was.
When it came time for him to climax, he grew taut and released his seed. As soon as he was done, he held the base of the sheath and he pulled out of her. He settled on his back and brought her into his arms.
“Thank you,” he whispered, out of breath.
She brushed his hair from his forehead. “I don’t know why you’re thanking me. I received pleasure from this, too.”
He couldn’t help but smile at her matter-of-fact tone. It was so much like her. “You let me make love to you without trying for a child.”
“Well, I think it isn’t just for having children. I think it’s a way of giving and receiving pleasure. And more importantly, I feel closer to you than I did before.”
“I feel closer to you, too.”
After a couple minutes, he removed the sheath and cleaned up before he returned to bed. They continued kissing each other for a while longer before they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Chapter Nineteen
The next morning while Eva was stirring the brown sugar into the oatmeal she was making, Boaz entered the room. She glanced over at him and smiled. “I made the coffee strong. Hopefully, it’ll help you stay awake.”
Chuckling, he went over to her and took her into his arms, giving her a lingering kiss that made her weak in the knees. “I don’t mind being tired.”
Her face grew warm. “Well, it won’t do those horses any good if you don’t have some coffee.”
“You’re right. I’ll drink some.”
He kissed her again, a sweet reminder of how wonderful it’d been to finally know what Rachel and Heather got to experience in their marriages. This was the feeling of being complete. And it was far better than she imagined.
When he released her, she turned her attention to setting the table then sat across from him with her bowl of oatmeal. “What are you going to do today?” he asked.
“I’m going to the mercantile to see if the books I requested for Leroy and Hannah are in yet.” She chuckled. “I thought they would enjoy the stories in the book I got them, but I had no idea they would struggle so much to stay awake. They’d nod off but then their eyes would fly open. It’s cute.”
He drank some of his coffee. “I remember how hard it was to go to sleep when I was a kid. Ma would tell me and Mitch stories, and I’d do everything I could to stay awake just to find out how things ended. But I’d end up falling asleep most of the time.”
“Isn’t it strange that when we were kids, we didn’t want to sleep and now we look forward to it?”
“That depends on whether or not there’s something interesting going on.”
He winked at her and it took her a moment to catch his meaning. Though heat rose in her cheeks, she laughed. “It’s a good thing the children are asleep. I’d hate for them to overhear you.”
“They’d assume I meant reading a book.”
“You’re probably right.”
After a minute of comfortable silence, he cleared his throat. “I’m going to talk to Herb today. I thought I’d bring him one of those musical things you like.”
“Sheet music?”
“Yes, that’s it. Anyway, is there a certain song you’d like him to play the next time they come over?”
She set her spoon in the bowl and leaned forward. “B
oaz, I don’t have to listen to him play the violin.”
“But it’s something you enjoy.”
“Yes, it is, but if it makes you uncomfortable—”
“It doesn’t. Not now. Not after last night. I want to do this for you. Will you let me?”
Smiling, she nodded. “Of course, I’ll let you.” She took a sip of her coffee as she thought over what music she hadn’t heard in a long time but had enjoyed. “I’d love to hear Sonata Pathétique by Ludwig van Beethoven.”
“I’m going to need you to write that down.”
She chuckled. “I can write it down before you leave.”
They continued eating their meal, discussing little things as her parents often did while she was growing up. It was nice to share such moments with him. And it was even better now that they were truly husband and wife in every sense of the word.
When it was time for him to leave, he gave her another lingering kiss that sent tingles up and down her spine. She doubted she’d ever get tired of his kisses, no matter how long they lived.
With a wave good-bye, she called out that she couldn’t wait for him to come home that evening then got the children up for the day. After they had their breakfast, she took them to the mercantile to see if any more children’s books had come in.
“You’re in luck, Mrs. Grady,” the owner said with a twinkle in his eyes. “Alice's Adventures in Wonderland just came in yesterday afternoon.”
“Are these short stories?” Leroy asked.
“No. This is one big story,” Eva told him, “but each adventure she has is almost like a short story.” When his eyebrows furrowed, she patted him on the back. “You’ll see what I mean when I read it to you.”
She paid for the book when the door opened. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Rachel and waved to her.
“Why am I not surprised to see you buying another book?” Rachel teased as she came up to the counter.
“Because you know I can’t resist the beauty of fine literature, and this is the only place I can get it,” Eva quipped then opened the book and sighed. “Few things smell as wonderful as a new book.”
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