Push and Shove

by C. L. Stone

  His eyebrows furrowed hard again. “What do you mean he liked it? That shit hurts.”

  “I like it,” I said in a quieter tone. “It feels good.”

  He let out a sharp breath between his lips and shook his head, sitting back. “You’re just high. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I did like it!”

  He glanced at the walls again, staring at them. His hand rested on my knee. “It’s still bullshit,” he said. “It’s all fucked up. Every one of them. They can’t do that to you.”

  This wasn’t going how I wanted. “Honey,” I pleaded, wanting to change it.

  “I promise, Sang,” he said. “They won’t do it to you again.”

  “No!” My lips tore apart and a loud sob escaped me.

  “It’s wrong,” he said. “You’re getting bruised.”

  “No,” I cried again, and this time curled up on my side, staring at the wall. I cried with my eyes open. I did mess up. I told him the truth and now he was going to tell them to stop. And he was saying I was messed up if I liked it. He thought the drugs made me like it?

  He sat still. The only motion was his hand on my calf rubbing me. I kicked at it. Angry. He was going to ruin everything. I couldn’t get myself to stop crying long enough to tell him this.

  I don’t know how long I was like that, but the next moment, someone was parting my eyelid and a bright light was shining in.

  “She keeps crying,” Nathan said

  “Sang,” Dr. Green said. There was a pat on my cheek, and then pain, so it wasn’t a pat, but a slap.

  “Stop,” I said. When did he get here? Did I daze out?

  “It’s affecting her harder than the others,” Dr. Green said. “She hasn’t been eating. She’s been weak. We need to get an IV in her.”

  “Does she need to go to the hospital?” It was Kota’s voice, but I didn’t see him.

  “We can’t even take her to the Academy hospital like this,” he said. “First her sister, and now her? They’ll have us all under investigation.”

  “If she’s dying, take her to the fucking hospital!” Nathan shouted.

  “We need to flush it out of her system,” Dr. Green said. “She needs fluid. If we can dilute this, she’ll get out of this.”

  “We can flush it out at the hospital,” Nathan shouted again. “Let me take her. I should have taken her there in the first place.”

  I turned my head, my mouth open and trying to say something, but my whole head was numb and vibrating.

  Kota had his jacket off, but left his tie and white shirt on. His tie swaying back and forth was amusing to me, until I realized why it was swaying like that. He was shoving at Nathan. Nathan was trying to dodge to get around him.

  “Stop,” Kota said. “You’re overreacting.”

  “You,” Nathan said, pointing a finger at Kota. His bicep muscles flexing. “You just want to keep her a secret.”

  “She’s not that secret,” Dr. Green said. “I’m telling you, if we can get fluids into her...”

  “You don’t even have any room to talk,” Nathan said, swinging his pointer finger around. “You kissed her and now you want to keep her away from people. You don’t want them to know.”

  “Hold on now,” Dr. Green said. He stepped into my field of view this time, holding his hands up. His beautiful green eyes turning harsh and his usual happy face so serious, he didn’t appear to be the same person. “Don’t get all crazy. This isn’t the time to talk about this.”

  “Let me take her to the hospital,” Nathan said. “I’ll take her to the close one.”

  Nathan shoved his way around Kota, but Kota kept blocking him away from me. Nathan grunted, shoving back.

  “Nathan, stop! Silas,” Kota shouted.

  Silas lunged at Nathan, pushing him back. My head rocked back, shocked that Silas was there at all, because I hadn’t heard a word from him.

  I tried to sit up, regretting the move instantly. It felt like I was trying to sit, but the next thing I knew, my face was against the carpet.

  “Hold up there, shortcake.” It was Luke this time. Arms surrounded me along my shoulders and another set along my knees. I was hoisted up.

  I fought against them. I cried, calling out for Nathan. I pleaded with Kota to let him go. I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I thought I was dying. My stomach lurched. The room spun.

  I couldn’t stop myself, the moment Luke had me around my stomach, pinning my arms down, and someone had me by my legs, I was squirming. Resisting because I couldn’t control my muscles. When they pushed me down, I wanted to sit up and fought and clawed for them to let me. “I can’t get a needle in her arm if she’s fighting like this,” Dr. Green said.

  “We have to restrain her,” Kota said.

  I howled. The words weren’t what I wanted. Tying me down? Like my mother? Like he promised he wouldn’t? I couldn’t get my vocal cords to work, though, so it was a screeching cry. Moaning.

  I was moved to a bed. I think it was my own, but I didn’t feel like I’d gone upstairs, so I wasn’t sure.

  Then I spotted a television, and a tall dresser, and brown wallpaper with ivy along the border.

  Flashes of my mother came at me, and I thrashed and cowered. I shouldn’t be in her room. She’ll come after me. She’ll put me back in the shower.

  “Sang!” Kota shouted.

  My eyes snapped open and Kota’s face loomed over me.

  “Calm down,” he said in a quieter tone. “We’re not hurting you. Your mother isn’t coming back.”

  Did I say it all out loud? It didn’t feel like it, but I couldn’t remember.

  There was a pinch in my arm. An IV came into view. I tried to move my arms but couldn’t. I tugged harder but my arms were tied. I tried my legs and they were tied, too.

  I moaned. I cried. I pulled at my restraints. I didn’t want to. I wanted to listen to Kota but I couldn’t stop myself.

  “Can’t you give her a sedative?” Silas’s voice boomed.

  “It might cause a bad reaction to the drug. I don’t want to put her into a coma.”

  “There’s some in my bag,” I said, although I think I screamed it. And then I remembered I couldn’t scream. I don’t know what I was hearing, but it was awful screeching. “Silas, Rocky says he’s sorry. He gave me a bottle.”

  I said it again. I repeated Silas’s name. I called for Nathan. I pleaded with Kota. I repeated their names over and over because I didn’t know who I could reach out to. In my desperate state, I needed someone. Anyone.

  “Kota!” Luke cried.

  The pitch was higher. Shot with such panic that even I quieted. Luke? What was wrong with Luke?

  “It’s your mom,” Luke said. “Nathan’s dad was there. He’s looking for Nathan.”

  There was a shuffle. Voices all at once.

  The room quieted.

  I was alone. Restrained. IV in my arm and it itched and I wanted to take it out.

  My mother’s room.

  My fake mother’s bedroom.

  Sang Sorenson.

  I thought the name and then lost it, because I didn’t feel like myself any more.

  Then I suddenly did. For a moment, I was the old Sang.

  Invisible.

  Silenced.

  Forgotten.

  WE MAY NOT BE CLOSE,

  BUT WE AREN’T MONSTERS

  The creak of the door didn’t surprise me. Some part of me thought it might be Gabriel. Maybe he finally showed up. Was he going to wash my hair? Another thought was that it might be Nathan. Did he come back from an Academy job? Mr. Blackbourne was going to ground me again because I was really tired now.

  I drifted. I felt like I was lifting weights when I opened my eyes, dragging myself up from a heavy, dreamless sleep.

  I was in my mother’s room, but couldn’t remember why.

  Fingers wove through my hair.

  “Gab...” I started to say.

  The fingers snagged, and wrenched my head to t
he side, yanking some strands out. My face was shoved against a pillow.

  I screamed, but no sound came out. I reached up, my arms snagged against restraints. I clawed at the bed and my nails met with an arm and sank into flesh. Flashes of Mr. McCoy and Jade swept through my mind. I was going to fight them off.

  But it was Mr. Griffin’s eyes that met mine. Harsh and ruthless.

  “No...” I started to cry out, but my voice failed.

  “Fucking whore,” he screamed. He cupped his hand over his arm. There were cuts on his face, and his cheek had been stitched. Part of his head was shaved, with more stitches showing.

  How did he get in here? I scrambled to get up, but was still tied down.

  A hand collided with my mouth. The sting radiated from a single point where my lip split, and spread throughout my mouth until my bones rattled together. I blinked hard. My arms wrenched against the restraints to protect myself, but I was only pulling my joints apart, The tethers held; I was helpless.

  “I told you to stay out of my house!”

  When did he get back? I slid backward, trying to draw myself up and away from him. Where was Kota? Or Nathan?

  I arched my body up, pulling as much as I could. A hand landed hard against my stomach, pushing me back down. I bucked against it, twisting, trying to get away.

  “I found your clothes. Think you can move in?” His pitch rose. His fist flew at me, catching me in the shoulder. He pulled it back and knocked me in the side of the head. “Did he tie you up? Is this some sick, twisted thing you do?”

  There was a tug at my arm. Liquid splashed on my skin. A spot burned. The IV stand clattered to the ground.

  “Didn’t think I would find you?” he bellowed. “I saw them all running from the house, going to Erica. I knew you were here. Stay out of my house. Stay away from Nathan.” He gripped my shoulders, shaking me.

  Anger flooded through me. Sheer hate. He hit Nathan. All I could see was him hitting Nathan repeatedly in the head. I could almost imagine little Nathan as a kid, being beaten, watching his mother get beaten. I fought. As hard as I could, kicking out with my legs, keeping him away from me, fighting him for Nathan.

  I landed a kick against his flesh.

  Mr. Griffin’s screams increased and became unrecognizable words. He cupped his inner thigh where I’d kicked him.

  I wasn’t done yet. All that came to my mind was what Nathan showed me. Fight them. Fight them until they’re down and you can get away.

  I cried out and snarled and yanked my body, trying to get out of my restraints. I wasn’t just fighting him. I was hitting Jade. I was hitting Mr. McCoy. I hated them all so much. My stepmother hated me, but she was sick and was treated horribly by my father. She had an excuse. For the first time, I felt everything she was trying to tell me before was true. The world was a horrible place, with horrible people and it was best to lock yourself away.

  And with every ounce of strength I had left, if he came near me, I was going to bite or spit or do whatever it took.

  He landed on me hard. Mr. Griffin held down my shoulders. His knees bit into my thighs. He was screaming at me, but I couldn’t hear him over my thundering heart, my thrashing and my own attempts to scream back at him. He slapped my head. Then his hands moved around my throat.

  “Sang?”

  Marie? It couldn’t be her. I was so hysterical, my tears had already blurred my senses.

  She said my name again. It was her.

  I panicked. I’d promised my father I’d make sure she was safe. I promised Marie I’d leave and I wouldn’t bring any more chaos into her life. I’d failed.

  “Who are you?” Mr. Griffin got off of me, out of range of my knees and biting.

  “Who the hell are you? And what did you do to her?” she asked.

  I was screaming for him to stay away from her, but my voice wasn’t working. My throat closed off.

  Marie was standing by the door, her hands behind her back. Her angry eyes were on Mr. Griffin. “Get off of her. Go away.”

  Mr. Griffin snarled at her. “She’s fucking my son. Are you, too? You’re part of this, aren’t you?”

  “You’ve been drinking,” Marie said. She pulled one hand around from her back, holding up the phone. “I’ll call the cops.”

  At first, I was elated. Yes! That made sense, didn’t it? Calling the cops.

  Then I remembered she couldn’t.

  “Call Nathan,” I cried. “Call Kota!”

  Mr. Griffin started after Marie, but stopped suddenly.

  “Don’t come any closer,” Danielle stood beside Marie. She held out a black plastic thing I didn’t recognize.

  Mr. Griffin put his hands up but snarled. “You’ve got her tied up. You’re going to threaten me?”

  “You’re crazy,” Danielle said. “Get out.”

  “You should leave,” Marie said.

  I was breathing heavily, my heart thudding in my chest. What were they doing? He’d hurt them.

  There was a cry from Mr. Griffin, who lunged again, at Danielle this time.

  Then he howled.

  He clutched at his chest and then buckled to the floor.

  “Give it to him!” Danielle cried out.

  Marie started to kneel beside Mr. Griffin.

  “Don’t!” I wasn’t sure what they were doing.

  Marie plunged a needle into Mr. Griffin’s arm. When it was done, they both hopped back at the same time.

  Mr. Griffin snarled, getting up. He glared at everyone.

  He stopped and turned to me. He lunged at me. His hands flew out.

  His legs started to buckle and while he landed a punch on my leg, he fell to the floor beside the bed. His cursing subsided.

  I heard Marie and Danielle talking, but it all faded away as I lost consciousness.

  A HEART

  IN NEED OF A HOME

  I woke with the thick, cold gloss of old sweat lingering like a ghost over every inch of my body. My hair was stuck to my neck and around my face. My clothes were bunched up uncomfortably until my shorts felt like underwear, and my T-shirt wasn’t covering my breasts.

  The room felt wrong to me, because the light poured in from the wrong side of the bed. The smell of Cypress overwhelmed me suddenly as I breathed in deeply. It was only then that things started to make sense and I realized I was in Nathan’s room.

  Nathan’s bed had been stripped of everything except a maroon sheet below me. I felt the corner of it by my foot had come loose, covering my ankle.

  The clock glowed eleven.

  I sucked down air. Every part of my body hurt. My arms, my legs. Everything. Wasn’t I restrained before? I moved my arms a little, testing, and was relieved when I could swing them freely. I had more control over my muscles now.

  Memories flooded through me in small waves. Marie. Mr. Griffin. Dr. Green. Mr. Hendricks.

  Jade.

  I shouldn’t be in Nathan’s room. Mr. Griffin could return.

  Panicked, I started to get up, felt dizzy, and collapsed back on the bed. I fixed my shorts a little, tried to fix my shirt and got it at least down over my stomach properly. I relaxed again, trying to find a little bit of energy to sit up. All the soreness, all the pain I was in, I needed to sit up and stretch. My joints felt uncomfortable against the bed. I’d been down for too long.

  “Easy, Sang,” Dr. Green’s voice reached me as a pair of soothing hands cupped my cheek and my arm. His warm, concerned face floated in front of me. “Not so fast.”

  “I need to sit up.”

  He backed up, but kept his hands on me for support. I blinked away the groggy sleep still lingering in my eyes, and used my palm to wipe them clean.

  Dr. Green sat down next to me. He kept an arm around my back. “You’re not getting sick, are you?”

  “I’m not sick,” I croaked out. I swallowed. “I’m really sore.”

  Dr. Green laughed. The sound was so good to me, I wanted him to continue. I looked at him; his eyes were shadowed, his face unshaven.
He wore the white T-shirt alone with a pair of gray sweatpants that looked too big for him.

  I looked out, spotting an unrolled sleeping bag on the floor.

  “You stayed here?” I asked.

  “Had to watch over my patient,” he said. He beeped my nose. “Someone was high as a kite and takes up the entire bed when she sleeps it off.”

  I stretched and checked myself over. There were bruises around my wrists, arms and legs. I sucked in air and yawned. “How long was I asleep?”

  “Two days.”

  My eyes widened. He had to be kidding. I’d missed two days of school? I opened my mouth to talk.

  He covered my lips with two fingers. “And well deserved. As far as Hendricks knows, you’ve got the flu. Even Marie confirmed it.”

  “Marie!” I tried to stand, thinking I should get up and find her. “I promised her she wouldn’t have to talk to Mr. Hendricks.”

  “We convinced her to do it one more time,” he said. He snagged my wrist, drawing me back. “Now stop getting all in a panic. We haven’t been sleeping for two days. We’ve got you covered.”

  I fell back but then tried again, getting my feet off the bed. I tried to stand, wobbled. He stood with me, holding me around the waist.

  “Sit back down if you need to,” he said.

  “I need to stretch.”

  “I can imagine,” he said. “But go easy on yourself or you will get sick.”

  “What happened to Mr. Griffin?”

  He sighed. “He’s gone.”

  “Gone?”

  “Yeah.”

  That could mean a lot of things. Did he disappear like Mr. McCoy? I swallowed again, trying to put the pieces together. “Danielle zapped him. Marie doped him with those needles.”

  “We gave those to them, and told them to watch out for Mr. Griffin in case he tried to get in the house. The dummies went back upstairs and let him get in. But they took care of him. And now he’s at the hospital.”

  Maybe Marie could take care of herself. “He’s at the Academy hospital again?”

  “In detox,” he said. “He’d been warned the last time. Nathan was going to turn him in after he got punched in the face, but let it go when Mr. Griffin promised he’d sober up. But Mr. Griffin got drunk again, went after Erica—“