I laughed. “I knew eventually Oklahoma would break free from the professional East Coast stylist role you’ve played today!”
Beth gathered the tools she used to transform me, rolling wires and putting the various bags of makeup into the different tubs the villagers had carried to the casita. I stood in place, afraid to move. The realization hit that the church was miles away, across a muddy jungle, and I was wearing white.
I blanched. “Oh, God. Cynthia will stroke out if this dress is soiled before the wedding.”
“If she can get here without a speck, I’m sure she can get you to the church mud-free.”
“You’re probably right,” I nodded, trying to relax.
“I wish Kim could be here,” Beth said, shaking her head. “I called her, but she’s out of town.”
“I understand. This was very sudden.” I hated lying to Beth, especially while she was being the poster child for a best friend, but I already knew Kim wouldn’t be at my wedding. She was two hospital rooms down from Ryan, nursing wounds she’d sustained when Isaac had sent her flying across the cathedral of St. Anne’s. It wasn’t right that she had saved my life, and instead of being at her side, I was primping in a tropical paradise.
“She did say to tell you to not worry about her. She said she’s fine and she wants you to enjoy your day…why would you worry?” Beth said. Her question was a second thought, as if it hadn’t crossed her mind until that moment.
“When do I not worry about her?” I said, fidgeting with my dress.
Beth thought for a moment. “True,” she agreed, carrying on with tidying up the room. “Okay, I’m going to grab your mom, and then I’m going to get ready. If you need anything, I’m just a casita away.”
“Beth?” I called.
“Yes?” she said, spinning around.
“Thank you,” I smiled. “For everything.”
Beth returned my smile. “Of course.”
“And Beth?”
“Yes?” she said. She was clearly impatient about getting to her casita.
“Think I could sit for a while?”
“Oh!” Beth said, rushing to fetch me a chair. “Here. This one has a back on it so you can relax. Thirsty?”
“Not at the moment. You are the best maid of honor, ever.”
“I know,” she beamed. She backed out of my room, shutting the door on her wide and excessively proud smile.
With Beth’s absence the room became uncomfortably quiet, but I didn’t feel alone. I looked down to my stomach. Bean was invisible, nestled under the fabric of the dress I would wear to marry her father. I placed both of my hands above my bump, and smiled. Would Bean know he or she was a guest at our wedding? The thought of a tiny body inside of me with a fancy dress or tux on made me giggle.
“What’s funny?” Cynthia said as she entered the room. “Certainly not the sight of you. You’re a vision.” I smiled and stood so that she might get a better look. “I’ve arranged for a car. Well, not so much a car as a beat-up truck, but it will get us to the chapel.”
“I wondered how I would get there and keep my dress white.”
Cynthia frowned. “I didn’t say it wouldn’t be difficult. I’ve considered wrapping you in plastic. It will take all of us along with a concentrated effort, but it can be done.”
“Thank you,” I smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Again, a deluge of emotion caught Cynthia off-guard, and she furiously searched through her purse for a tissue. Before the first tear could pour over her lashes, she dabbed it away. “I’ve never,” she said, annoyed. “I hope this doesn’t continue throughout the day.”
I rested in the chair and Cynthia sat on the bed, seeming uncomfortable and out of place, yet she remained cordial and poised. She brought up appropriate subjects such as the weather, and stayed far away from anything that might induce another onslaught of tears. We shared a few polite laughs, and I silently prayed that Beth would return sooner rather than later.
“Ding dong!” Bex said, opening the door. “The truck is less than a mile away. You ready?”
“Something like that,” I sighed.
Beth popped in behind Bex. Her smile lit up the room. She was stunning in her French blue cocktail dress, and for the first time since I’d met her, she actually looked like the former beauty queen that she was. Her lips were stained a wine color, and her short auburn hair was wavy and soft instead of sticking out in every direction. “Oh, good!” Beth squealed as the engine grew louder upon the truck’s approach. “It’s like a Bronco! It has a back seat!”
“That’s nice,” I said, minding my mother’s expression as I gathered my skirt.
The trip from my chair to the door was uneventful, but the preparations for me to step outside into the murky jungle were firmly coordinated by my mother. Cynthia barked orders at Bex, Beth, and the driver. Bex lifted me and held me away from his body — at Cynthia’s request — to keep from wrinkling the dress further. Beth and Cynthia held any protruding pieces out and away as Bex made his way to the truck, and then help spread the fabric while he lowered me to the backseat. Cynthia’s tactic worked. I was seated atop a clean blanket, and my dress remained untouched by the jungle.
Bex led us to the chapel on a dirt bike, while Cynthia commandeered the passenger seat. Beth squeezed against the door to my right to give the dress plenty of room.
“You are all being a little ridiculous about this dress. Once I get out of the truck, the wrinkles will fall,” I said.
“It’s possible. What will you do if mud is splattered on it? Have you found a dry cleaner on the island?” Cynthia asked.
“Good point.”
Within half an hour, the truck was bouncing over familiar cobblestone streets. My heart pounded against my chest when the chapel’s steeple appeared above the palm trees, and I could barely restrain myself from bursting from the truck and running inside when the fountain, and then the wooden double doors came into view. Jared was inside, and the wait had already been an awful test of my patience.
Beth lightly touched the top of my hand, and only then did I realize I was tapping her knee.
“We’re here,” she said, pulling at the door handle.
Bex stood on the walkway with a wide grin on his face. “You look good.”
“Thanks,” I said, touched by his sentiment.
“All right, enough chitchat. We’re not in the church, yet,” Cynthia said, orchestrating another transfer. She lifted the hem of one side of my dress while directing Beth to lift the other, and together we climbed the steps.
Inside, Lillian waited. Once recognition hit, her eyes lit up, and she clapped her hands together, quickly bringing them to her mouth. “Oh. Oh my goodness,” she said, tears glossing her eyes. “You’re even more beautiful than I imagined.” She looked to Cynthia. “It’s so good to see you,” she said, hugging her old friend.
“As it is you,” Cynthia said with a warm but demure smile.
Lillian blotted her eyes with a tissue and shook her head. She looked upon me with pure love and adoration. She had always regarded me with an adulation that I never quite understood, but the look in her eyes was new to me.
“May I seat you?” Bex said to Cynthia, offering his arm.
“Yes, thank you,” she said, walking with Bex into the church.
Lillian watched them disappear behind the door, and then leaned into my ear. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this moment. You’ve always been family, Nina. I can’t explain it,” she whispered. A sweet, innocent laugh escaped her throat. “Some nights, after Jack and Cynthia took you home after I’d make you all dinner, I would cry.”
My eyebrows popped up. Lillian was always so candid about her feelings for me. Even so, her words surprised me.
“Gabe used to shake his head. He always thought me to be irrational when it came to you. But each time you left my home, I felt I was letting my daughter go away to live with someone else. I must sound crazy. It sounds silly to say out loud.
I…I just wanted to tell you how happy it makes me that after today…I can call you my daughter.”
I hugged her to me. The intensity of emotion in the room was overwhelming. I didn’t hear crazy. Lillian’s words sounded like love.
“No, no, no, no…,” Beth said, pulling a tissue from her purse. “Don’t cry. Your mascara is waterproof, but it’s not magic. It could smudge.” She carefully dabbed under my eyes. “You’re only marrying the man of your dreams soon. What’s to cry about?”
I smiled. “Touché.”
The music sounded. Beth handed me an exquisite bouquet of pink and white tulips, winked at me, and then slid out of the double doors to take her walk. I stood alone in the vestibule, in my dress, holding my favorite flowers — the same Jared presented me on our first date. I was amazed, then, at the coincidence. Now it just made me smile. Why he was ever nervous about whether I would fall in love with him was a mystery. Not only was he the most thoughtful, most selfless and loving person I knew, he was also armed with the knowledge of all my likes and dislikes. He was more armed to win me over more than any man could any woman. The tulips were perfect. Jared had sent me this very bouquet many times over the course of our relationship. It just occurred to me that these flowers had also been sent to me before our relationship; on birthdays, my high school graduation, and I remember feeling comforted by a wreath at my father’s funeral bearing the same flowers. Jared had never mentioned it before, but I knew they were from him. That thought made me smile. He had loved me for a long time, and now I was about to walk down the aisle of our chapel, on our island, to pledge my eternal love to him. Life had never felt so right.
I thought about my father, and wished he were next to me. I imagined him in a smart tuxedo with teary eyes, fawning over my dress and how beautiful and grown up I looked. As a little girl, I imagined him giving me away at my wedding, and now he would have to do it from Heaven.
“I know you can see me, Daddy,” I whispered, closing my eyes.
Suddenly, I was no longer alone. Someone was beside me, with an arm hooked around my elbow.
“Hope you don’t mind a wedding crasher. Jack sent me,” Eli winked and tightened his grip.
“N-No,” I said, shaking my head. “Of course not.”
“I’ve always wanted to do this.” He stretched his neck and shoulders. “Looked like fun.”
“Thank you,” I said, as the wedding march began to play in the chapel.
“Ready, kiddo?”
I smiled, and took a deep breath. “Ready.”
Both doors swept open, held by two young local boys, and our small audience stood.
Eli leaned into my ear. “You are breathtaking, by the way.” He took a step, and I followed his lead. Together we walked slowly down the aisle.
The sanctuary was a bit dim, with beams of sun breaking through the windows and spotlighting the different faces of our friends and family. The dust motes slowly floated in and out of the sunshine, delicate and graceful. I saw Jared’s Uncle Luke, first. I was surprised to see him, and it must have showed, because he and his wife Maryse chuckled softly at my expression. I was glad to see Chad sitting next to my mother, although it wouldn’t have occurred to her to feel…well, anything…I didn’t want her to be alone. Lillian, Luke and Maryse sat together in the first of the heavy, wooden pews, parallel to Cynthia and Chad. Luke whispered something into his sister’s ear, and Lillian nodded, taking a deep, satisfied breath.
And then, I saw him. Jared stood next to Bex at the head of the chapel, at the top of a few steps that lead to the pulpit and the rest of the stage. Eli waited before he took a step, sensing that I had stopped in my tracks. Jared was dressed in a khaki suit with a white-button-up shirt. The top button was undone, and he skipped the tie. He looked perfect, and his bright blue-gray eyes were locked on me, over a slightly nervous, beaming smile.
Without thinking, I took a step, now anxious more than ever to be next to him. Eli picked up his pace as my feet insisted on placing the rest of me next to the man I loved more than life itself. My love for Jared surpassed needing normal, enough to conquer fate and beat death. In that moment I couldn’t fathom why I had waited so long, and I wanted to be nowhere else but in that chapel, making the easy promise to love him forever.
The reverend was short, swallowed by his officiant’s gown. His brown skin was dull and wrinkled, but his kind smile brightened his face. He spoke in a thick accent. “Hello, Nina. I’m Father Julian.”
I nodded, my gaze returning to Jared.
“We gather here, in the presence of God and this company, that Jared and Nina be united in holy matrimony. We here to celebrate and share in glorious act that God is about to perform — the act by which He converts their love for one another into holy and sacred state of marriage.
“This relationship is honorable and sacred, established by our Creator for welfare and happiness of humanity, and approved by Apostle Paul as honorable among all men. It is designed to unite two sympathies and hopes into one; and rests upon mutual confidence and devotion of husband and wife. May it be in extreme thoughtfulness and reverence, and in dependence upon divine guidance, that you enter now into this holy relationship.”
Jared didn’t take his eyes from mine. Just a few feet away from him, Father Julian stepped down to meet me. He looked to Eli, and spoke with a thick accent, “Being assured that your love and your choice of each other as lifelong companions are in God's will and that you have your families’ blessings. I now ask. Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”
“We do,” Eli said with confidence. He spoke for my father, for Cynthia. He might have even spoken for Gabe, but I felt Heaven was smiling on the moment.
Eli lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles, and then took Jared’s hand, placing his gently under mine. With a small, tender squeeze, Eli left us alone at the bottom of the steps, disappearing behind the double doors he had just helped me through.
Jared raised an eyebrow, a permanent smile etched on his face. “That was unexpected.”
“Jack sent him,” I said, feeling my eyes gloss over.
Jared touched my face once, and then the reverend spoke again. This time his voice blurred into the background as I watched the blues and grays of Jared’s eyes shine in ways I’d never seen them. His expression was relaxed and nervous; happy and concerned; every emotion he’d ever felt collided inside of him in a beautiful display of the barely noticeable shifts in the skin around his eyes and mouth. No one could have noticed it but me, and I read each one as he struggled with a lifetime of duty, and the relief of hearing me promise myself to him.
“Jared Ryel?” Father Julian said. “Are you ready to enter into this marriage with Nina Grey, believing the love you share and your faith in each other will endure all things?”
“I am,” Jared said simply.
“Nina Grey?”
“I am!”
Our small audience laughed at my haste. Jared chuckled as well.
Father Julian regrouped, and then finished his part. “Are you ready to enter into this marriage with Nina Grey, believing the love you share and your faith in each other will endure all things?”
I waited for the minister to correct his mixup, but he never did.
I nodded quickly. “To Jared Ryel. Yes. I’m ready.”
Father Julian didn’t skip a beat. “Nina, do you take Jared to be your wedded husband? Promise to love him, to honor and cherish him, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, and to be to him in all things a good and faithful wife as long as you both shall live?”
“Yes.”
Father Julian repeated Jared’s vows. The closer he came to the end, the tighter Jared’s fingers were around mine. Finally, when it came time for Jared to speak, he didn’t hesitate.
“Yes, and after that,” Jared said. “For a thousand years, and then a thousand more…I will love you.”
A smile stretched across my face. His hands were cupped around mine a bit too tight, an
d his body leaned into mine eagerly. This was the moment he had waited for, and he seemed to want to take it all in and rush it at the same time so nothing could keep him from it. That moment in time was the light switch in a dark room, the doorway at the end of a scary hallway. It was anything and everything that had ever saved anyone.
Father Julian closed his eyes. “Father in heaven, You ordained marriage for your children, and You gave us love. We present to You Jared and Nina, who come this day to be married. May the covenant of love they make be blessed with true devotion and spiritual commitment. We ask that You, God, will give them the ability to keep the covenant they have made. When selfishness shows itself, grant generosity; when mistrust is a temptation, give moral strength; when there is misunderstanding, give patience and gentleness; if suffering becomes a part of their lives, give them a strong faith and an abiding love. Amen.”
I opened my eyes to see Jared looking at me with total love and devotion, more so than I ever saw in the proud eyes of my father.
“What token do you give to perform your vows?”
Bex opened his hand, and Jared plucked a white gold band from his brother’s palm.
“Nina,” Jared said softly. He closed his eyes, thought for a moment, and then looked into my eyes. “What can I say to you that I haven’t already said? What can I give you that I haven’t already given? Is there anything of me that isn’t yours already? My body, my mind, my heart, even my soul. Everything that is me belonged to you long before this, and it shall be yours long after this. I will follow you anywhere and everywhere you lead. I will keep you and anyone created with our love safe from all harm. From this day on, I choose you, my beloved, to be my wife. To live with you and laugh with you; to stand by your side, and sleep in your arms; to bring out the best in you always, and, for you, to be the most that I can. I promise to laugh with you in good times, to struggle with you in bad; to wipe your tears with my hands; to comfort you with my words; to mirror you with my soul; and savor every moment, happy or sad, until the end of our lives and beyond.”
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