“It’s right there,” he said, nodding behind me.
“Maybe we should…I don’t know, get it over with isn’t the right word.”
Jared cleared his throat, and then offered an ornery smile. “Get naked and get the nerves out of the way?”
My mouth fell open and I laughed out loud. “Jared!”
He laughed and lifted me into his arms, walking in the direction of the casita. “I didn’t say it was a bad idea.”
He carried me a few yards, past the trees, to the familiar surroundings of our casita. He opened the screen, and then brought me inside, softly leaning me against the mattress. The moonlight faded away, and the wind picked up. With a hand on each side of my shoulders, Jared hovered over my body. Distant thunder rolled somewhere over the ocean. He leaned down and touched his lips to mine just as the first raindrops began to spatter against the tin roof.
Jared’s lips traveled in a line down my neck, and he anchored himself with a knee as he lifted me with one hand, and unzipped the back of my wedding dress with the other. With both hands, I pushed back his jacket and slid the sleeves off of his arms, and then unbuttoned the first two buttons of his white dress shirt. Impatient, I grabbed the hem and pulled it over his head.
Watching his bulging muscles tense and move under his smooth skin did nothing for my nerves. Determined to enjoy the comfort I usually enjoyed when we made love, I focused on undressing him. I worked on the button of his slacks, and then ripped down the zipper.
“I said it was a good idea, but I didn’t promise not to take my time,” Jared said, kicking off his pants. He bent his elbows, letting his body press against mine.
“You can take your time,” I said. “We have all night. I think if I just get past this part I can relax,” I said, pressing my fingers into his back.
He reached under the skirt of my dress, and pulled the thin, lacy fabric of my panties down my thighs, over my knees, and then past my ankles, letting them fall to the floor.
His hand traveled back up my leg, disappearing under the layers of silk. My legs tensed, and I sucked in a quick bit of air. A few moments later, I couldn’t help but close my eyes and let myself sink into the mattress.
“I’m glad you said that,” he said against my lips. “I fully intend to take all night.”
Chapter Five
The End
I sat on the beach, listening to the waves. The last time I had come to this island, I pretended to be Mrs. Ryel. Now it was reality. I sighed, and placed my hand on my belly. I wished things could be different; that I was like any other new bride, enjoying the beauty surrounding me on my first day as a wife. Wishing wouldn’t help, and I knew that. Another life would mean the absence of Jared. If we had never met, most of the chaos wouldn’t have happened, and the worst-case scenario would have been to find out my father was a different person than I believed him to be. Apart from that disappointment, life would have continued on — mundane and mediocre. I would have married Ryan, and worked at Titan. Bore a child or three. We would have lived day in and day out with a respect and love, facing day to day challenges of ordinary life.
My nose wrinkled. A life without Jared was unimaginable. Coupled with that stipulation, I didn’t want it. Chaos, a constant state of being on alert and uncertain was a respectable tradeoff for a love like his. He didn’t ask for this, either, after all. The danger was what we went through to be together, and it was worth it for him. He never questioned it, and I grudgingly accepted it. It might not make sense to everyone, but then again, they could never understand. Most hadn’t experienced what I had. I’d been waited for, longed after for years. The safety, security, and calm I felt with Jared were unmatched; no one else on earth made me feel that way. No one was held as sacred by their husband as I was, so they couldn’t fathom what one might endure to protect it. Our love, in all its imperfection, was perfect.
It was then that a moment of clarity came over me. From the moment I’d learned the truth, I had fought with the feeling of loss for a normal life, but without Jared, that life wouldn’t have as much meaning. Sure, I was an individual. I was a strong person. I didn’t need someone else to complete me, but I was happier with Jared than without him. More than happy. Why settle to prove that I was free? I was, with and without him. Being with him was a choice — a choice to love and be loved and exist in an affirmative state with someone. Even with the chaos going on around us, it was more than I could have hoped for. More than most hoped for. His love was the purest example of anything a human could feel for another. The more I weighed the options in my head, the less appealing Normal became. It was downright insulting to compare the two. Suddenly I couldn’t remember why I had missed it in the first place, and scolded myself for ever letting Jared feel that I was anything but grateful for every moment he was in my life.
“How are you feeling, love?” Jared said from behind, bringing a tall glass of ice water.
“As if you have to ask. I feel really good. It seems like every day I feel better and better. Is that normal? Aren’t I supposed to feel sick, or tired, or both?”
“Not necessarily. What is normal when you’re carrying our child?” Jared said, taking a seat beside me.
We watched the surf together. The storm from the night before had raged until the early hours of the morning…and there was a good reason that I knew that for a fact. Jared had kept his promise to take his time. I slept for an hour, maybe two, after the sun breached the horizon before venturing to the beach. The ocean was endless, stretching out until it met the sky. The only way to tell one from the other was the slight difference in shade. I took in a deep breath and leaned against my husband.
“What is it?” Jared said, grazing his lips across a small patch of skin on my forehead.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said closing my eyes. I wanted to focus on the sounds of the waves rushing the beach, and the way the breeze blew my hair forward. If it were possible to block the frightening thoughts from my head, I would have. I wanted to pretend that the truths I had come across in recent years weren’t real. But they were, and inconceivable, nightmarish things waited for us at home. Those thoughts made it difficult to relax and enjoy my honeymoon, even with Jared’s tireless reassurance. I had finally accepted my life for what it was, but that didn’t make it less frightening.
“Look,” Jared said, nodding to a spot up the beach.
Samuel stood at least two hundred yards away, too far away for my human eyes to tell if he was watching us or the ocean.
Jared nuzzled the hair just above my ear. “He has been granted a temporary new post.”
“To babysit us?” I asked. “He must be thrilled.”
Jared chuckled. “Something like that. Hybrids don’t have Archs. Have I ever told you that?”
“No, you didn’t.”
“We don’t. Our job to protect humans, that along with our knowledge and abilities makes having our own guardian angel redundant. Not to mention the curse….”
“But you still need protection, don’t you?” I asked.
Jared thought for a moment. “We are born to protect. I think He sees it as an infinite waste of resources.”
I nodded. “I see.”
Jared’s brows pulled in and he cocked his head a bit. “You seem different today.”
“I do? What’s wrong with me?”
Jared laughed. “Not your general well-being, I mean you. Your behavior. You seem less on edge. Why is that?”
My brows shot up, and I shrugged. “It’s not because I’m not worried, I can promise you that. I have one more year of college, I’ll be taking over Titan soon after…and I’m pregnant. The best part — my personal favorite — I have to be on guard for the next nine months just to stay alive long enough to deliver our baby, and hope the Creator of the Universe decides against his own rules to help us do that.”
“Ten.”
“What?”
“It’s actually ten months. Forty weeks is ten months.”
I
frowned. “That doesn’t help.”
Jared stifled a grin. “I was proud of you at the hearing.” When I didn’t reply, Jared explained further, “With Michael. You made a great case. It might have been what kept me out of serious trouble.”
“What might have happened? If Eli had decided against you?”
“The worst punishment would be death.”
“But…,” I began, thinking as I spoke, “you can’t die unless I do.”
“Or if I’m found guilty of disturbing The Balance. Heaven has zero tolerance for both of those things.”
“The baby supposedly disturbs The Balance,” I said, touching my belly.
Jared put his hand on mine. “God didn’t create the baby, Nina, we did. Free will and The Law are on opposite ends of the universe. I could explain it for the rest of your life, and you still wouldn’t understand. Even I don’t fully understand it all. Just know that The Law is a constant, and The Balance is a variable. In our case, it depended on Free Will, and that makes The Balance a whole new beast.”
“My head hurts,” I said.
“I’m sorry. More water?”
I looked down to my glass. It was empty. “I hadn’t even realized I’d touched it.”
Jared moved his hand up my arm, his fingers pressuring different spots. “Your temperature is elevated, but I believe it’s due to the pregnancy.”
I nodded, staring out into the ocean. “Will it ever be over, Jared? Once the baby is born, will we have to keep fighting for every day?”
“No. Heaven will have to decide at some point that enough is enough. They will either save us or let us die. Once that decision is made, we are protected.”
I looked up to the sky. “Why doesn’t He just make it now?” Jared didn’t answer, and it was just as well. I didn’t expect him to. “Jared…,” I hesitated. I didn’t want to ruin our perfect morning. “I think I should continue my training.”
He sighed. “You’re pregnant, Nina.”
“Yes, I know. But, can we both agree that there may come a time when I might have to defend myself…or the baby? I’m not asking you to beat the crap out of me; I’d just like to spend more time with the firearms, and for you to teach me some more complex moves.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
Jared wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. “You’re right. We have to be prepared for anything. We’ll start when we get back.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
He leaned back, and lowered his chin so that I would meet his gaze. “You have to take it easy, though. I mean it.”
“I will. I promise.”
Satisfied, Jared took my glass and returned moments later with a fresh batch of ice floating in the water. I took a sip and sighed, trying my best to relax.
We sat in the morning sun, waiting as it crawled across the sky, hiding every so often behind the errant cloud. Jared and I were wrapped in each other’s arms, enjoying a small moment of peace. Eventually, my stomach began to protest.
I looked down, and then to Jared. “I guess we better find something to eat.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t say anything sooner. You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”
“I’m surprised the baby didn’t say something sooner,” I said, extending my hand to Jared when he stood.
He tugged on my hand. “I can see I’m going to have to take better care of you.”
We made our way to the eating lodge, where just a few other patrons sat at a table across the room. I dove into the fresh fruit bowl on the table, and then eagerly waited for the waiter to arrive.
An hour later, empty or nearly empty plates of Grouper, Callaloo, Conch Fritters and other Caribbean cuisine lay all over our table. For someone that didn’t feel hungry, I couldn’t seem to stop eating.
I mashed the leftover crumbs from the banana bread we requested for dessert with my finger and then licked them off.
“Wow,” Jared said.
“What?” I said.
“You’ve always had a healthy appetite, but this is impressive.” He grinned.
“I suppose so,” I smiled. We both knew finishing the ridiculous amount of food I’d ordered was above and beyond anything I’d accomplished meal-wise before. Our table looked like we’d had a dinner party with ravenous wolves.
“Ready for a nap?” Jared said, laying a large bill on the table.
“Let’s go exploring,” I smiled. “Or snorkeling.”
“Snorkeling? Still not tired?”
“No. I feel amazing,” I grinned. Jared frowned. “What? I’m not supposed to feel amazing?”
“No. To me, you feel tired. You were hungry an hour before your stomach growled. I can’t decide if I’m losing my senses or that your body isn’t responding normally because of Bean. If it’s the latter, I don’t want you overdoing it.”
“Okay, so I’ll take a nap. Or at least rest a while if I can’t fall asleep.”
“Really?”
“Really. Why?”
Jared fidgeted. “It’s just that…you’re rarely this agreeable. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m in an alternate reality.”
“Wow. I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain in the ass. I thought couples are supposed to get along on their honeymoon?”
Jared’s brow rose. “So that’s it? You’re just being affable?”
“No, I trust you. You know my body better than I do, and I don’t want to do anything that could hurt the baby.”
Jared took a deep breath, and blew it out. “It’s good to hear you say that.” When I frowned, he shook his head. “No, I’m serious. Sometimes I wonder.”
“You think I would do something to hurt our baby?”
“No!” Jared said, hugging me and chuckling at the same time. “No, that you trust me.”
“Of course I do,” I said against his chest. “Let’s go to the casita and lay down for a while.”
Jared nodded, and then took my hand. He strolled down the dirt path, and we laughed and joked as we made our way to our whimsically painted tin hut. His eyes were brighter than I’d ever seen them, free of any clouds. When we reached the door, Jared lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bed, carefully lowering me onto my back.
“You know,” he said, brushing my hair away from my face. “I’ve always thought you extraordinarily beautiful, but this way,” he touched my rounding belly, “I can’t stop looking at you. You’re stunning.” His fingers returned to my hairline to sweep my bangs back, and then again, his fingertips gentle and soft against my skin. It felt so good, I could have melted into the bed I was so relaxed, but I wasn’t sleepy.
“You’re not supposed to say that until I’m big as a house and need a little encouragement to be seen in public every day.”
“I can’t wait to see that. I’ve been all over the world, but that will be the most marvelous, beautiful thing I’m ever going to see.”
“Until you see our child,” I noted.
Jared beamed. “I have a lot to look forward to.”
I cupped my fingers behind his ears and pulled him toward me, tasting his lips. “So do I.” I tugged at Jared’s shirt, and pulled it over his head. Jared pressed his warm chest against me, and I sighed. At least that part of our lives could return to normal.
“You should rest,” Jared whispered against my skin.
“I will,” I promised.
Just as I had closed my eyes, they were open. The sun still shined, and Jared sat on the edge of the bed, pulling his T-shirt over his head. He turned to me, puzzled.
“You promised to nap if we—”
“I did,” I yawned. “I slept so good. What time is it? I feel like I’ve slept all day.”
“Nina, it hasn’t even been twenty minutes.”
“You’re joking.”
Jared frowned. “This is disconcerting.”
“Why? I’ve never really been a nap-taker.”
“Yes, but when you do, you’re out for three hours.” Jared leane
d down, pressing his ear gently to my stomach. He stayed there for a moment, and then sighed. “Something’s different. I can’t put my finger on it. You’re different.”
“I’m not. I told you I wasn’t sleepy. Let’s go snorkeling. I’m bored.” I stood and picked a bathing suit from the suitcase, and hurried Jared to do the same. I prodded him to the beach, eager to have some fun. We snorkeled, we swam, we splashed each other and explored the farthest corners of the island. At night, we spent time together in the outside shower, and then snuggled in bed. If I hadn’t already been pregnant, by the end of our honeymoon I surely would have been. Jared was insatiable, and it seemed that with every quiet moment, I whispered suggestive things in his ear.
Just like our last visit to Little Corn, the week went by too quickly. Jared noted the familiar sadness in my eyes as I packed.
“We can come back. When you graduate, after the baby is born, we can come back and stay as long as you’d like.”
“I have a company to run, you forget.”
“That will run just fine if you decide to take a leave of absence.”
I shrugged, repeating the tedious cycle of stuffing my wedding dress into the garment bag and then smoothing it out. “Maybe.”
Jared seemed to be out of sorts as well. We didn’t speak much as the hired help stacked our belongings in the truck, and then again in the boat. Jared held me as the boat bounced across the waves to the main island, and relied on small talk as we waited for the plane to depart from Nicaragua. It was like saying goodbye for the last time to an old friend. It felt like loss. This time, there would be no ring to cheer me up, only the ominous thoughts of what might be waiting for us at home.
The fairy tale was over.
Once we were in U.S. airspace, I immediately dialed Beth to see what the situation was at Titan. Sasha worked to make life difficult for everyone, and Grant was more than ready for me to return so he could leave for his own vacation. Just a few weeks of school left, and then summer hours would be enforced.
Ryan was still recovering in the hospital. Beth noted that Claire never left him alone for a moment. Her comment made me think about the times I visited Ryan in the hospital after he was attacked, and I wondered if he had taught her the Logo game. I couldn’t imagine Claire sitting beside his bed giggling and being silly. She was more likely to pout in the corner, trying to ignore his vies for attention and incessant questions. I hoped that I was wrong.
Eden p-3 Page 5