Rob lifted her off her feet as he kissed her and in that moment she knew she was doing the right thing. He nuzzled her neck and whispered, ‘God, I love you.’
She groaned as she wriggled free. ‘You’re going to have to save all that loving, because I need to make a start on the dinner.’
He pulled at the ribbon around her silk robe. ‘Wearing those?’
‘I suppose I’d better get changed.’
Rob checked Freya, who had become half buried in an explosion of new toys. ‘I’ll help you undress,’ he whispered, grabbing his wife’s hand and leading her upstairs before their daughter could notice.
Less than ten minutes later, Vikki was back downstairs wearing jog pants and a T-shirt as she prepared to face the daunting task of preparing Christmas dinner on her own for the very first time. Elaine would be joining them later and had offered to come over a little early, but Vikki was determined not to accept any help. There would be no cheating, no ready mixes, no frozen Yorkshire puddings and, looking at the clock, not enough time to get everything done and nip back upstairs to shower and change properly without being distracted by Rob this time. She had planned out every stage of cooking and had even gone as far as putting it on a spreadsheet which she had tacked to the cupboard door.
Over the next hour, Vikki followed the instructions step by step while her mind pulled her back to the rash decision she had made that morning. She didn’t feel quite the same level of excitement as Rob when she pictured next Christmas with Freya twice as excited because she had a little brother or sister’s presents to open too. It would be exhausting, but if it meant her mum’s place in their future was assured too, it would be worth it. Her stomach flipped every time she thought about it, and she wasn’t sure if her nerves were caused by the current challenge of cooking dinner, the excitement of having another baby, or something else; fear, perhaps. She was yet to be convinced that another baby was something she really wanted, all she knew for certain was that this was something she really wanted to give Rob.
‘I’ve had another thought,’ Rob said.
Vikki hadn’t noticed him coming into the kitchen wrapped in a bathrobe, his hair dripping wet. He gave her such a start that she dropped a jar of horseradish and it smashed on the floor.
‘Shit!’ she said, and felt a sudden, irrational urge to burst into tears. She quickly regained her composure and, noticing Rob’s bare feet, added, ‘You’d better leave me to it. I’ll clear it up.’
‘Sorry, I’ll get out of your way,’ he said.
It was only when he didn’t move that she realized he hadn’t told her whatever was on his mind. ‘What?’ she asked.
‘Rather than have your mum drive over, I’ll go and pick her up.’
‘But what about getting home? There’s no guarantee she’d be able to get a taxi, so unless we can convince her to stay over, one of us will have to stay sober and drive her home,’ Vikki said, not wanting that person to be her. ‘And Mum said she’s not bothered about drinking.’
‘I’ll drive her there and back,’ Rob said simply.
Vikki frowned as she tried to read Rob’s expression. Despite his generous offer, there was something in his tone that made her question it. Or was it something else distracting him? Could he be having second thoughts about the baby? It had been a spur-of-the-moment decision for both of them, taken when they were feeling all warm and cosy as a family. They hadn’t considered any of the practicalities.
‘Are you sure?’ she asked, and was about to follow it through with another question, but Rob’s features softened.
‘Look, I’ve taken the back seat over the last few months and today I’d like to look after you both. I don’t like the idea of Elaine driving home in the dark. You said yourself how easily tired she gets, and on my way to fetch her, I could see if there’s a corner shop open that sells horseradish.’
With the moment lost, Vikki returned her thoughts to the safety of the present and the dinner she was preparing. ‘I’d say we could ask Mum if she had any, but that was hers.’
‘Then it’s sorted. I’ll get dressed and nip out to pick her up.’
‘What about Freya?’
‘She’s quiet enough watching Frozen,’ Rob replied, and before Vikki could make a counter-argument he had slipped out of the kitchen and was hurrying upstairs.
When Vikki phoned her mum to let her know the change of plan, Elaine was as shocked as she had been. ‘He really doesn’t have to make a fuss. I’m fine.’
‘It was his idea.’
‘I know, but still,’ Elaine said, sounding choked. ‘You’ve both spoiled me so much this year. All the lovely gifts, the dinner, and now a door-to-door taxi service.’
‘We’re doing it because we love you,’ Vikki said, thinking beyond Christmas to the plans they had made for the future.
‘And the spa break too,’ Elaine continued. ‘I’ve only just spotted the envelope at the bottom of my gift bag. It’s going to be a lovely treat for us both. I presume you’re intending on being my plus one?’
‘What spa break?’
There was a pause which gave them time to solve the mystery. They both laughed.
‘It’s Rob again,’ Vikki said. With perfect timing, he reappeared in the kitchen with his coat on. ‘Another surprise present.’
Rob smiled and came over to kiss her on the nose as she talked to her mum. ‘Looks like I did pick up your hints after all,’ he whispered.
Vikki would never have the heart to tell him he had got it wrong, but she supposed a gym membership would be of limited use to her anyway if she did get pregnant. A spa was the ideal gift to reenergize mother and daughter. Rob knew what he was doing.
‘And by way of a thank you,’ Elaine was saying, ‘I’ve been speaking to Lesley and she’s agreed to come and stay with me next week after my chemo. She’ll be here for New Year’s Eve, which means we can look after Freya while you and Rob go to the party.’
‘What party?’ Vikki asked, meeting Rob’s gaze, but for once he wasn’t in on one of her mum’s secrets.
‘I saw Sarah Tavistock yesterday,’ Elaine said. Sarah had made a number of calls to the house since her initial visit, and had won over Elaine as easily as she had her daughter. Only last week she had dropped off a Christmas hamper for her mum, and a crate of Prosecco for Vikki. Vikki wasn’t sure if Sarah’s offer of friendship was genuine or if the gifts were simply bribes, but it was hard not to like her. ‘She’s invited us to a party at her house on New Year’s Eve. I said you might go, but I didn’t want to mention it until I was sure I could offer to babysit.’
‘A New Year’s Eve party at the Tavistocks, and we’re invited,’ Vikki repeated. She imagined it would be very extravagant, completely out of her league and her comfort zone, but it had been years since she and Rob had been out on New Year’s Eve. She looked at her husband, not wanting to build up her hopes, and asked, ‘Can we? Mum’s offering to babysit.’
Rob’s answer wasn’t immediate, but after a moment’s consideration, he smiled. ‘Sounds like it could be interesting. Are you sure your mum doesn’t mind?’
‘Tell him it’s the least I can do,’ Elaine said, overhearing his comment.
‘You can thank him yourself, Mum. He’s leaving now, so shouldn’t be too long.’
‘Don’t forget I have a little shopping expedition first,’ he said, and was about to step away when Vikki grabbed his coat to stop him escaping.
She pressed the phone against her shoulder so that her mum couldn’t hear her. ‘I love you so bloody much.’
‘And I love you,’ he whispered.
When she pulled him closer for a kiss, Vikki wasn’t sure if she imagined the tears in his eyes.
Scarlett
I think we got really good at pretending not to notice each other, but then, later on, he’d always tell me what he had been thinking. He did this thing of stepping close to me while he was talking to someone else. He’d only have to brush against me and I swear my insides would
explode – I can’t tell you how exciting it was. I’d message him sometimes and tell him I wasn’t wearing any underwear because I knew it made him crazy for me. Stuff like that always made the time we did spend together SO exciting.
Except for that one time when it wasn’t, when I drove him crazy and he didn’t like it. I sort of don’t blame him for getting mad at me, but it was Christmas and I didn’t see why we couldn’t spend some time alone together, even if it was only ten minutes. You can do a lot in ten minutes and, besides, I was his weakness and he couldn’t resist me. That’s why I sent him a message on Christmas morning, demanding he give me my Christmas present. I said if he couldn’t give me what I wanted, I’d go elsewhere. I said I was sure Linus would be happy to oblige.
I knew I was behaving like a demanding brat, but I didn’t think he’d get that angry. He must have noticed how pleased I was when I got in the car because he didn’t say a word as we drove out of Sedgefield. We sometimes parked up along one of the country roads but this time he took me to this old, creepy house that was all boarded up. He parked in front of a metal fence and just carried on staring straight ahead. I could see the muscles in his jaw twitching.
‘Do I get my present now?’ I asked.
Still not speaking, he got out of the car and waited for me. I thought we were going to get into the back, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me through a gap in the fence. For a minute, I thought he was going to make me go into the house, but he dragged me into a sort of alcove and turned to face me. It wasn’t the first time he’d made my heart race, but this felt different. I couldn’t read him, his eyes were completely blank and his mouth twisted into a snarl when he said, ‘You’re a little bitch, do you know that?’
‘I needed to see you. I love you.’
‘So now I’m here, and I want my Christmas present too.’
I wanted him to kiss me so badly and when he looked at my mouth and smiled, I thought he’d forgiven me. I stepped towards him, but he stopped me. He put his hands on both my shoulders and began pushing downwards. I didn’t understand what he was doing at first, but then I did. I knelt down in front of him and gave him what he wanted.
13
The Accusations
Nina’s heart was thumping so hard it reverberated through her body as she stood up. Bryn’s eyes were wide and she suspected his pulse was racing too.
‘If you think it’s me, Nina, at least have the courage to say it. Ask me.’
Nina felt like a rabbit caught in the headlights and braced herself for impact when she said, ‘Are you having an affair with Scarlett?’
‘No.’
No was such a small and yet powerful word and one that Nina should have grabbed with both hands, but it left her feeling cold and alone. If Bryn were capable of sleeping with his underage stepdaughter, he was also capable of lying. And if he were a just and honourable man, she had accused her husband of an unthinkable crime, and he would never forgive her.
‘This is where you’re supposed to say thank God for that, Nina.’
Her lip trembled but the words wouldn’t come.
‘Wow,’ he said. ‘So that’s it then.’
It was only when Bryn turned to leave that she forced herself out of a trance. ‘Please, Bryn, wait.’
‘For what?’ he asked. ‘Do you think I hadn’t noticed how you couldn’t even look at me yesterday? Even if by some miracle you did take me at my word, is that how it would always be between us? Maybe I do know Scarlett better than you do, but that isn’t very hard, is it? You don’t seem to understand anyone that well these days.’
‘What are you going to do now?’ Nina asked.
He shook his head. ‘I think you know the answer to that one.’
‘You’re leaving me?’
‘Apparently the man you married never existed. I’m a scheming conman, like Sarah suspected all along.’ When he laughed it could so easily have been a sob. ‘Oh, no, that’s right, I’m far worse than that, aren’t I?’
Bryn turned to go, but Scarlett was blocking his exit. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked. From the look on her face, she had heard enough to hazard a guess.
‘Ask your mum,’ Bryn said, ‘and when you’ve realized what you’ve put her through, tell her, Scarlett. Tell her everything.’
Scarlett’s eyes widened. ‘I can’t.’
‘Then there’s nothing left for me here.’
‘You’re leaving?’ Scarlett asked. She went to make a grab for Bryn, but held back at the last and he swept past her. ‘You can’t.’
‘What did you expect?’ he asked. ‘Did you really think your actions wouldn’t be without consequences?’
‘I don’t understand. Mum, what’s happening?’ Scarlett asked, raising her voice to be heard above the sound of Bryn stomping upstairs.
‘I’ve just—’ Nina began, and at that moment the weight of her accusation crashed into her. Her body convulsed as the first sob tore from her throat. Her ragged gasps weren’t loud enough to drown out the two opposing voices in her head, one asking what had she done, and the other asking what had he done? She wasn’t prepared to listen to either.
When she felt Scarlett’s hand on her shoulder, she knocked it away. ‘Don’t! Don’t you dare!’
‘Why? What have you done, Mum?’
‘What have I done?’ Nina cried. ‘What have you done, Scarlett? And I swear to God, if you say you can’t tell me one more time, I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.’ She took a step towards her daughter and Scarlett backed away, but Nina followed until she had her pressed up against the kitchen counter.
‘Who is this married man of yours, Scarlett?’ she asked. ‘Is it Bryn?’
‘No!’ Tears were streaming down Scarlett’s face. She had to gulp for air before adding, ‘No, Mum. Why would you even say that?’
‘Because,’ Nina began, but she didn’t have an answer. ‘I don’t know! I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that it’s anyone.’
‘Is that why Bryn’s leaving?’
‘You can hardly expect him to hang around!’ Nina screamed at her. ‘Not after me accusing him of getting my selfish and irresponsible daughter pregnant!’ It was then she saw the look on Scarlett’s face and she put her hand to her mouth. ‘Oh, no, please no. I’m wrong, aren’t I?’
‘Yes, Mum. You’re so fucking wrong!’
14
Before
Thursday, 31 December 2015
When Bryn had driven Nina to Sarah’s New Year’s Eve party the year before, she hadn’t even known his name, but she had found it surprisingly easy talking to the taxi driver – so much so that she had been bitterly disappointed when they arrived at her destination within fifteen minutes. Bryn told her later that he had seen how nervous she was and had been tempted to offer to be her escort for the evening, but he had done the next best thing by promising to pick her up later. And he had done, in every sense of the word.
There were no such anxieties this year as she waited for Bryn to pay the taxi driver. She shivered in the cold and her strapless shoes offered no protection from the inch of snow that had fallen during the day. Her black satin evening dress fluttered in the breeze, making the diamanté appliqué along its plunging neckline sparkle in the moonlight. Her outfit was a stark contrast to the demure, high-necked evening dress she had worn the year before, and Bryn was the perfect match for the elegant look she was aiming for. Her husband owned only one suit, the one she had bought him for their wedding, and to say he brushed up well was an understatement. She felt more complete than she had in years, and even though Christmas hadn’t exactly gone to plan and she had spent more of it alone than she would have liked, she hadn’t felt lonely.
She and Bryn had indulged in breakfast in bed on Christmas morning, but still managed to be up and dressed before either Liam or Scarlett had shown their faces. They had all opened their presents together – or, to be more precise, she and Bryn had watched the children open theirs. She had refused to be annoyed a
t them for not getting her a present; apparently, they had each been waiting for the other to sort something out, but she had been hurt that they had snubbed Bryn too.
Even so, Nina hadn’t complained. Her family might not be perfect, but at least she got to spend the day with those she loved. Bryn had put on a brave face, but she could tell he was missing Caryn, and she wasn’t surprised when he made an excuse to go out and pick up a few extra fares while she prepared dinner. She knew better than most how broken homes often revealed their jagged edges at Christmas. Adam had sent Liam and Scarlett their obligatory Christmas cards with a cheque inside, but because he had posted them late, they wouldn’t arrive until a few days after Christmas. To add insult to injury, he hadn’t bothered phoning his children until Boxing Day, and so they had both spent Christmas assuming he had forsaken them completely. Liam was too absorbed in his new love to expend energy on being annoyed, but Scarlett had sulked.
She had gone out briefly to meet Linus while Nina was up to her eyes peeling vegetables, and Nina had hoped she would come back in a better mood. She hadn’t, and her sullenness showed every sign of persisting through to the next year.
Nina’s obstreperous daughter had inexplicably fallen out with not only her father but everyone. She had turned down a New Year’s Eve party invite from Eva because … well, Nina could only assume it had something to do with either Liam, Linus or both. Scarlett wasn’t saying, and had been insisting on staying home alone, but Nina wouldn’t hear of it. She could only imagine how uncomfortable it was going to be, having a moody teen in tow, but Nina would rather none of them went to Sarah’s party than leave Scarlett alone to stew in her misery. Whatever had upset her daughter needed to be set to one side. She had an important year ahead and Nina was going to make sure it started off on the right footing.
‘What are you doing waiting there?’ Bryn asked when he noticed Nina still dithering at the roadside after he had waved off the cab.
He followed his wife’s gaze to the lone figure standing in the middle of the road. Bryn held out his arm to guide Scarlett to safety, but she snubbed his gallantry and stomped past them both. Scarlett was wearing ankle boots and a pale blue lace dress which, in her mother’s opinion, was too short for her long limbs, but as Nina had been told an hour earlier, her opinion didn’t count. It was as much as Nina could do to get Scarlett dressed at all, and for once she hadn’t made them late while she applied and reapplied her makeup. Scarlett could spend hours with her pots and brushes, perfecting her war paint, but this evening there had been minimal effort. She had pulled back her silky blonde hair into a ponytail and applied little more than mascara and lipstick. Scarlett thought she was making a point but, despite her best efforts, she looked stunning.
The Affair Page 12