by Dori Lavelle
“Don’t you think you should call him? He must be worried. You should let him know you’re fine.”
I glance at my dead phone on the nightstand. “We’re not together anymore.”
“What if he’s forgiven you? What if he wants you back?”
When Denise took me in, I told her everything about my past and my present, and that I couldn’t go to my place since Lance could be waiting for me there. Her reaction was comforting. She’d listened without judging or criticizing me. When I was done, she simply told me I was welcome to stay as long as I liked.
I sit up in bed. The aches and pains are still there, but they’re the least of my problems. “I’m so sorry for taking up your space. I’ll leave tomorrow.” I pause. “Do you mind doing me a last favor?”
“Sure.” Denise stands up. Today she has on a powder blue jumpsuit.
“Why are you so nice to me?”
“You were there when I needed help, six months ago, remember? And we weren’t even friends. Now I get to return the favor.”
I shake my head. “I was there for you?”
She raises an eyebrow. “Yeah. Remember when you gave me money? I haven’t forgotten.”
“Oh, that.” I give a half shrug.
“I got a promotion at work last week. I’m actually planning to pay you back today.”
I would have told her it doesn’t matter, but I do need the money. “Still, I’ll get out of your way. You’ve helped me enough.”
“Only if you’re sure. What else can I do for you?”
“Do you think you could get me my journals?”
“From your apartment?”
“Yeah. And also, two or three changes of clothes. I’m leaving town tomorrow.” I don’t have that much money left in my personal account, but it should be enough to get me out of Boston.
“Where will you go?”
“Any place but here.” I’ve started over from scratch before. I can do it again.
With Kirk back behind bars, nothing can hold me back from building another life. The only thing that has the power to stop me is my heart, but I refuse to listen to it.
Before Denise goes to work, leaving me in her apartment with the blinds drawn and the lights out, she stops by my apartment to get the journals. She returns ten minutes later without them, and her face flushed.
“Lance is in your apartment.” She lays a hand on her heaving chest, panting.
My mouth falls open. “Did you speak to him?”
“No. As soon as I saw him, I got the hell out of there. I think he followed me, but I’m not sure.” She inspects her fingernails, avoiding my gaze. “There’s something else you should know.”
I chew a corner of my lip, afraid to ask what it is.
“Your journals were everywhere around him. I think he was reading them.”
“Crap.” I throw back the covers and slide my feet out of bed. “Forget the journals. I’m leaving town tonight.”
“But you’re not well. Stay one or two more days.”
“I’m well enough to sit on a bus. It’s only a matter of time before he figures out which one is your apartment. I can’t see him again, Denise.”
“But you don’t have your clothes and stuff.”
“I’ll get new stuff.” I pause. “Can I use your laptop to buy a bus ticket?”
“Sure.” Her voice sounds deflated. “I’ll get it for you.”
23
Lance
“Please tell me you found her,” Grace says from the other end of the line.
“No, but I’m close.”
“Did she finally pick up one of your calls?”
“Nope. They still go straight to the mailbox.”
“I don’t understand why she would just disappear like that.” From the sound of Grace’s voice, I can tell she’s hurt that Jia didn’t bother to say goodbye to her. At least for me, it’s different. We had ended things before everything crashed and burned.
“Look, if it makes you feel better, I think I know where she is.”
“How? Where?” she asks.
“I don’t think she left town. In fact, I think she’s still in her apartment building.”
“In her apartment, you mean?”
“No. She never showed up there, but someone else did. I think that person knows where Jia is.”
“Do you know the person’s name?”
“I wish I did.” I lean back against the back-seat headrest and close my eyes to rest them for a moment. “Remember the woman we ran into when we came to get Jia’s clothes?”
“The one who was staring at us?”
“Yep. She’s the one who came into the apartment while I was still there. She has a key, which means she’s in contact with Jia.”
“You think she sent her to get something for her?”
“That’s what I think. My guess is, Jia is staying with her.”
“Did you get to talk to this woman?”
“I wanted to, but as soon as she saw me, she bolted.”
“That’s really weird. You didn’t catch up with her?”
“I went after her, but my cane and I weren’t fast enough.” I open my eyes. “Grace, I have to go. I’m outside the building now, waiting for either Jia or that woman to come out. They will have to at some point.”
Grace is quiet for a long time. When she speaks again, her voice is low and cracked around the edges. “Lance, do you think we should let it go? It’s clear that Jia wants nothing to do with us.”
“Right now, I don’t really care what she wants. The only thing that interests me is getting her back to the hospital.”
“You still care about her, don’t you?”
“That’s not important.” I rake a hand through my hair. “I think it’s humane of me to want her to be okay. Even if we’re no longer together.”
“Okay,” Grace sighs. “Call me if you find out anything more.”
After the call, I take a deep breath and pick up the journal next to me. The past few days I got to read most of Jia’s journals, but not this one.
“Mr. LaClaire, should we still wait, or should I drive you home?” Dominick peers at me from the front of the car.
“We’ll wait for as long as it takes.”
“Of course.” He goes back to reading his paper and occasionally staring out the window.
I’m about to continue reading the journal when Dominick speaks again. “Is that her?”
My head snaps up, and I glance out the window. Sure enough, the woman I’d seen earlier has stepped out of the building.
My adrenaline spikes as I reach for the door handle, but change my mind. There’s no way I’ll be able to catch up with her, even if she’s wearing high heels.
“Dominick, go after her. Bring her to the car.” I can’t help feeling like a mafia boss.
“Yes, boss.” Without hesitation, Dominick pushes the door open and gets out. I watch as he crosses the road to get to Jia’s friend.
She glances behind her and starts to hurry, as though she thinks Dominick is some kind of predator. I roll down the window in time to hear Dominick calling after her and saying something else that I don’t catch.
The woman stops walking and turns, holding her purse to her body. She glances from Dominick to my car.
My heart squeezes painfully inside my chest as I wait for her to continue walking again, to disappear without telling me where I can find Jia.
I blow out a breath when she hesitates and then walks toward Dominick. I wonder what he said to convince her to follow him.
As they both cross the street, she glances right and left as though she’s expecting someone to attack her.
Once they arrive at the car, Dominick opens the door for her to get in. “Mr. LaClaire just wants to have a quick word,” he says.
“I really need to get to work,” she says, but bends to look inside.
“Give me five minutes,” I say before she can change her mind. “Five minutes and I’ll let you go.”
&nb
sp; “I should really ... I can’t.” She straightens up again, her face disappearing out of view.
“Please,” I call out. “I won’t take too much of your time.”
To my surprise, she gets in, bringing in with her an overwhelming scent of sweet perfume. She doesn’t bother to close the door. “What do you want to talk about?”
“You already know the answer to that question.” I pause. “You know where Jia is, don’t you?”
She gives a half shrug. “What if I do?”
“Then I’d like it if you told me.”
She chews a corner of her lip for a moment. I give her the time she needs to think about it.
“I know who you are,” she says. “I also know that your relationship with Jia is over.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t care about her well-being. I’m not sure if she told you, but she left the hospital against doctors’ orders.”
“She’s a grown woman. She can make her own decisions.”
“Sure, she can. But she survived the accident with a blow to the head. The doctors wanted to make sure she’s fine before she left.” I rub my brow. “Please tell me that she’s fine.”
“Yeah, she is.” She pauses. “But she doesn’t want to see you again. You turned your back on her.”
I ignore her remark and lean back. “Are you friends with her?” I ask. “I had no idea she had friends in the building.”
“Now you do. You should know that I’m loyal to my friends.” She swings one leg out of the car, ready to go. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more.”
“Lance. You can call me Lance.”
“Lance, I need to get to work.”
“What if I make you an offer?”
She looks back at me, lips parted.
“Tell me how I can get to Jia, and I will pay you three times what you’re earning in a month at your job ... in cash.”
She shakes her head. “I ... I don’t know.”
“You won’t be betraying Jia. If you really care about her, you’ll tell me where she is.” I glance out the window at the building. “Is she staying with you?”
She bites down on her bottom lip, her eyes fixed on my face. “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you, Mr. LaClaire. Have a good day.”
24
Jia
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a few more days?” Denise asks, standing in the doorway in her pink bathrobe.
“Don’t worry about me. I feel fine.” I pull my hair into a ponytail, ignoring the ache in my head.
She sits on the bed. “What if you’re making a mistake?”
I allow my hands to fall at my sides. “What do you mean?”
“What if you’re walking away from your fairytale, from something beautiful?”
“A relationship with Lance, you mean?” I sink onto the bed next to her. “There’s nothing there. There’s no going back.”
“But what if he still loves you?”
“Trust me, he doesn’t. Not anymore. I saw it in his eyes when he asked me to leave his life.”
“Then why did I find him at your place this morning?”
“No idea. What’s the point anyway? It’s over. I have to deal with it.” I’ve spent many hours wrestling with whether I should give him a call, maybe thank him for covering my medical expenses, but I didn’t have the courage. I can’t get myself to hear his voice again, to see his face and then watch him walk away from my life. But most of all, I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have.
I push myself to my feet and go to the window. “My cab is outside. I have to go.”
“Can we at least stay friends?” Denise stands up, her arms open wide.
“Of course.” I accept her hug and step back. My mouth twitches with a smile. “Thank you for everything you did for me. I’ll never forget it.”
“What else are friends for?” She winks. “New friends.”
I can’t believe all these years I kept her at a distance. I should have let her in, shared my story with her. I’m pleasantly surprised to know that she’s more than a pretty face. She has a good heart. She’s the only person from this life I’ll keep in touch with. If Grace weren’t connected to the LaClaires, I would have wanted to continue having her in my life, as well. But it’ll be too painful for Lance and Rose.
“Don’t worry about your apartment. I’ll clean it out for you and give the key to Norman. I’ll tell him you have a family emergency out of town.”
“I really appreciate it.” I hug her again. “Please take whatever you need and sell the rest.”
“Sure. Just promise me not to go and commit any other crimes.”
I laugh in spite of myself. “I promise. I’ll keep this name clean.”
After a final goodbye, I leave Denise’s apartment. At the elevator, I consider going up to my place to get my journals, but Lance might still be there. I can’t take the risk.
The only thing I take with me as I step out of the elevator downstairs is a small bag Denise had given me, filled with several clothing items she no longer needs—most of them pink.
Once I leave the building, I tip my head up to the night sky and inhale. I can do this. I’m a strong woman. I have survived things much worse than heartbreak.
Holding on to my shaky confidence, I get into the cab which drives me to the bus I plan on taking out of town.
Once I’ve taken my seat close to the front of the bus, I let out a long breath, which I didn’t even know I was holding.
When the bus starts moving, I lean my head back and close my eyes.
I hear the sound of someone taking the empty seat next to mine, but I don’t open my eyes to look. I’m in no mood to talk to strangers.
“Going somewhere?” A man whispers into my ear, and my eyes fly open. When I see who it is, my head jerks back so fast, the pain inside it shoots to a whole new level.
“Lance? What ... What are you doing here?”
“I saw you leaving your apartment building and followed you. I’m going wherever you’re going.”
“I don’t understand.” I ignore the fluttering sensation in my stomach. “What are you doing? You didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“You’re right, I didn’t. I’m here to tell you that I read your journals. I know the truth … all of it.”
“Those were personal,” I mumble.
“I’m sure you understand that I needed answers, Jia.”
“Good. Now you’ve got them. Let me go on with my life.”
“Before I do that, I need you to go back to the hospital. I want the doctors to make sure you’re all right.”
A burst of laughter spills from my lips. “I don’t get why you care. I lied to you. I hurt you. I don’t blame you for walking away. So, walk away.”
“You did hurt me,” he says. “You shredded my heart.” He’s quiet for a moment. I hear him swallow. “It was painful to discover that I was one of your targets.”
I feel myself wilt inside. I don’t respond. What could I say to him when he has already found the truth between the pages of my journals?
It’s true. He was the perfect target.
The first months in Boston were hard. I lived in a crappy apartment, juggling jobs that couldn’t pay the rent, trying to make ends meet. While I was working as a barista in a tiny café in the city center, I came across a story about the wealthy Lance LaClaire. I read about his pain and his struggles, how he found it hard to live his life in a wheelchair. Before I knew it, I became hooked on following his life story. As a result, I read every paper I could get my hands on about him. My obsession with him awakened the temptations of the past, which led me to spend many sleepless nights wrestling with the idea of doing again what I had been so good at.
With Kirk in prison, I would be my own boss. I could keep all the money. To lessen my guilt, I told myself that I’d only do it one more time. I promised myself that I’d use the money to start a more honest life. Before I could stop myself, I created a plan on how I could get i
nto Lance’s life. The idea to apply for a job caring for him came to me the day I was fired from one of my three jobs. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I spent the spare time watching videos and reading books on caring for a wheelchair bound person. I used the little money I’d saved up to pay for fake certifications and references. Then I took the leap. I never expected to fall for him. Now here I am, brokenhearted and broke.
“I’m really sorry, Lance.” I turn to gaze out the window.
Lance clears his throat. “I also know that after Alice died, you changed your mind about screwing me over.”
I look back at him, tears in my eyes. “I did fall in love with you. You have to believe that.” My gaze falls to my lap. “But I understand why you no longer want anything to do with me.”
“What I want is for you to go back to the hospital. I want to make sure you’re healthy.”
“And then you’ll say goodbye to me all over again?” My words come out in pieces.
He lays a hand on my thigh. “No. Then we can get married. If it’s not too late.”
“You ...” I blink rapidly. “Why? You’re not afraid I could—”
“Not when I have this.” He hands me a thick envelope.
“What is it?” I hesitate before opening it.
“A prenuptial agreement. If you still want to get married, I’ll need you to sign it.”
As I leaf through the many pages in my hands, I realize that Denise was right. Walking away without asking Lance for another chance would have been a mistake. He’s everything to me; so is Rose. I need both of them in my life, and I’ll do anything to keep them. “Do you have a pen?” I ask.
He pulls a silver pen from his pocket. Our hands brush when I take it, and a shiver runs through me. I give him a bright smile, unable to believe this is happening, then I sign every page that requires my signature.
“You didn’t read through it,” he says, taking the legal document back.
“No need. I know everything I need to know. It’s enough to know you love me. If you choose to leave me tomorrow, I’m prepared to walk away without a cent.” A tear rolls down my cheek. “I love you, Lance LaClaire and no longer because of your money.” I lean in, and our lips touch.