by Rhonda James
“Wait.” Her hand reaches between us to clasp around my shaft. “Why’d you stop?”
“I want to look into your eyes when I’m inside you. I need to see your face when I make you come.” I lift her up to my waist and resume pounding into her tight body one thrust after the other.
“Fuck. You’re so tight,” I groan into her neck. “It’s like you were made for me.”
“Yes. Just for you.” She threads her fingers in my hair and kisses me deeply. Exploring my mouth with her tongue and teeth. She latches her hands around my straining biceps and sucks my tongue harder as I drill into her with a force I’ve never possessed.
Sex with Skylar is unlike anything else. When I’m inside her, I forget about all the bad decisions I’ve made over the last few years. When I’m inside her, I never want to leave the safety of these walls. Because when I’m inside her, I like who I become.
I feel her muscles tighten around me as her climax builds. I pump faster, feeling the familiar pull low in my scrotum, and when the intensity becomes too much, her eyes close and she falls apart in my arms. I press her tightly against me and hold her there until I join her with my own release.
When her eyes open, she finds me staring down at her with complete adoration. “What?” she asks breathlessly.
“This right here.” My thumb brushes over the blush of her cheek. “This is what I needed to see. My God, you’re glowing. I love this. Love us like this.” I motion between us. “I am so crazy about you, Skylar Dennison.”
I know it’s easy to spout words of love during moments like these, and to be honest, I almost told her that I love her. I’m not entirely sure what stopped me. Maybe I am afraid of what will happen after she goes back to Atlanta. Maybe I’m not entirely sure that she’ll say them back.
Tears stream down her face when she brings her lips to mine and whispers. “That’s good, because I’m pretty crazy about you, too.”
We stay wrapped in each other, basking in our confessions, and I can’t help thinking about how empty I’m going to feel when she leaves me in two days. Two weeks ago, I’d been looking ahead to my future only to be reacquainted with my past. A past I now know I’d never fully let go of.
CHAPTER 24
SKYLAR
The arena is packed to capacity and the metal stands thump loudly from the pounding of spectator’s feet as players take to the ice for their warm-up. Tonight’s game is made up of GLU alumni going up against the current roster of players. Earlier, during the silent auction, Scott took me around and introduced me as his girlfriend to some of his former teammates. Most of the guys were really nice, patting Scott on the back and tossing in a wink as if to say Go Rivers! But there were a couple of jerks who reminded me of the assholes Scott used to hang around with in high school. The same guys who I now know convinced him I wasn’t worth the effort. One in particular, Mike Vickers, is a complete douche. After Scott finished introducing us, he turned around to speak with Coach Bishop, while Mike proceeded to enlighten me about the wonders of Scott’s former girlfriend, Ashley. Puh-leeze. From what Cassie’s told me, Ashley was a controlling bitch. He even had the nerve to look me up and down and tell me that I’m no Ashley. Sadly enough, I’ve seen photos of the two of them together, and he’s right. I’m nowhere near Ashley’s caliber.
But I don’t care about any of that tonight, because last night, Scott told me he’s still crazy about me. A small part of me had been hoping he would tell me he still loves me. I’ve waited four years to hear those words fall past his lips. Believe it or not, Scott was the first and only boy to ever say those words. Guess you could say I’ve tried my best to avoid heavy commitment after my breakup with Scott. And even though it was only two weeks ago when we were reunited, I believe him.
I was able to capture some great shots of the teams before the auction started, and now that I’m behind the Plexiglas divider, I’m glad I didn’t count on taking any during the game. I scan the stands behind me and make a mental note to head up to one of the higher seating areas to capture a few overhead shots during the second period.
Cassie spots me and waves frantically to catch my attention. I motion to the area beside me to indicate I saved them a seat. Cassie rushes over to give me a full-on hug, while Laney is much slower in her approach. She keeps a hand on her stomach while waddling gracefully toward us.
“It’s so good to see you again. I swear I think my brother likes keeping you to himself. It’s like high school all over again.” Cassie laughs.
Laney tosses a seat cushion onto the metal bleacher before lowering herself down, sighing when she’s finally settled in.
“Scott Rivers was possessive in high school? Huh. Never would’ve guessed.” Laney offers a sarcastic laugh.
“Oh, my God! My brother was and continues to be possessive about many things,” Cassie chimes in before I have a chance to defend him. “Don’t get me wrong, I love him to death. But when he sets his sights on someone, he doesn’t have time for anything else. It’s almost as if he wants to keep them protected in this little bubble or something.”
I wrinkle my nose in disagreement. “That’s not entirely true.”
“Oh, really?” Laney chuckles. “Then explain why we haven’t laid eyes on you since Traverse City.” A blush covers my cheeks, and when I don’t reply, she makes a sound with her mouth as she rubs the swell of her belly. “It’s okay. I get it. Derek was the same way with me. Kept me under lock and key. At first, I was flattered, but now I believe he just liked having round the clock access to my ‘stuff,’” she quips dryly, complete with air quotes, before wiggling uncomfortably in her seat. “Speaking of which, these benches are murder on a pregnant woman’s vagina.”
Her comment leaves both Cassie and me in tears from laughing so hard. When I’m finally able to compose myself, I wipe the tears from my eyes and respond to their accusations. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around. Between everything with my mom and Scott…” My words trail off, and I find myself shaking my head. “My head is all over the place right now. I only hope I have everything I need to write this damn article. I’d hate to have to tell my boss I couldn’t get it done because I was too busy getting—” I stop talking and immediately feel my cheeks heating up.
Cassie gives me a nudge with her shoulder, while Laney pats the top of my thigh. “No need to be embarrassed about it. Hell, sometimes a girl just needs to get laid,” Cassie states with an adamant nod of her head. Laney’s accompanying nod tells me she wholeheartedly agrees.
“I know. I know. It just feels weird talking about it, because he’s your brother and also because of the way things ended between us. I don’t know.” I throw up my hands. “Am I crazy? I mean, this is nuts. I’m still crazy about a man I left years ago, and now I’m leaving again.”
“What does Scotty have to say about it?”
“I don’t know. He says they’re only miles and we should just see where this goes.” I shrug my shoulder and shift my focus to the game.
Scott’s in the crease, and despite the fact I haven’t really been paying attention, I already know he’s been playing well. Seeing as how they recently graduated, Coach Bishop asked Scott, Brantley, and Derek to play with the current team. I’m pretty sure that’s because he wanted to keep this a fair game. Scott had already informed me that the alumni playing today would probably kick their ass, but when I look at the scoreboard, the game is already tied 1-1.
The puck drops, and one of the alumni players wins the face-off, veering off to the right before whipping it across the ice where it meets the stick of one of his teammates and he maneuvers down the ice toward Scott before handing off the puck. A player on Scott’s team intercepts the pass, and the play turns around and heads in the opposite direction toward the alumni net. The crowd nearby goes wild when Derek gets hold of the puck and skates toward the goalie on a breakaway. Brantley comes out of nowhere to clear a path for Derek to take a shot, and when the puck strikes the back of the net, we start screaming. Cassie an
d I help Laney to her feet, and the three of us go crazy. I’m pretty sure the alumni players weren’t expecting that, but Scott has told me stories of Derek’s impressive puck-handling skills. They seem to shake it off, and on the next play, the puck goes wild and there’s a flurry of activity taking place in front of the net.Three shots are taken, but Scott deflects all of them. Vickers snags the puck and dangles it on the edge of his blade as he skates for the blue line. Just before he gets there, he passes it off to a teammate, but the other team is on it before the kid has a chance to take possession. When he’s within range, he fires a shot that flies through the air with such speed I wince in anticipation of the inevitable goal, then suddenly, Scott’s legs scissor out and his left arm goes back at an awkward angle, and when he opens his glove, the puck is right in the center.
They go on to win 2-1, and Kevin Bishop comes out on the ice to announce the total amount of money raised at the silent auction: $235,500 to be exact. A group of young players skate out onto the ice and join Coach Bishop at center ice, surrounding him. This is just a small contingent of the kids who play hockey but find it hard to meet the cost of playing. I look around the room and smile when I think of how many kids will now be able to participate in youth hockey programs. Next, Kevin draws the crowd’s attention to a young woman who’s escorted out onto the ice by Scott. This must be Josh McLain’s mother. Kevin introduces her as such before reaching behind him to retrieve the helmet that is being presented to her to give Josh.
“Mrs. McLain, we understand that Josh can’t be with us tonight, and I know I speak for everyone when I tell you how relieved we are to hear that he is expected to make a full recovery. We know that Josh looks up to young Mr. Rivers here, and I also know how fond Scott is of your son. It is our great honor to present Josh with a replica of Scott’s helmet, custom designed just for Josh. Scott also had two more of these helmets designed, and he donated them to the auction this evening. I’m both proud and humbled by his generosity but also by the generosity of the amazing fans we have joining us here this evening. Because of that generosity, I am able to present you with a check for the proceeds of the sale of those two helmets. Please accept this gift of $35,000 for your family.”
The helmets raised far more money than originally anticipated, and when Mrs. McLain breaks down and weeps in Scott’s arms, the three of us weep together in the stands. I’m willing to bet if I turned around, there wouldn’t be a dry eye in the arena.
The presentation comes to an end and the crowd begins to exit the stands. Laney and Cassie inform me that they’re heading down to find their men, but before they leave, we share a hug and promise to stay in touch.
“I want to know the minute you have this baby. I need to go shopping and buy her something pretty.”
“Who says it’s a girl?” Cassie smiles. “I’m still rooting for a little boy. Iron Man could use a little sidekick.” She winks, referring to their superhero nickname for Derek.
I give both girls a kiss on the cheek and shake my head. “Hate to break it to you, but I still say it’s a little girl.” We wave good-bye, and I bend down to retrieve my camera bag. Reaching inside, I pull out the silly gift I’ve picked up for Scott. I found it at a pharmacy this afternoon on my way here. I stopped in to pick up an extra SD card for my camera and was in line waiting to pay when the trinket caught my eye. I’m not sure if he actually needs another keychain, but I couldn’t resist buying it when I saw it was adorned with a miniature rubber boot hanging from it. On the toe of the boot sits a little yellow duck. I grabbed it, knowing it was silly and childish, but I still think he’ll love it. I run my finger over the boot and smile, hoping he’ll always think of me when he sees it. I drop the keychain back into the small box and heft my bag over my shoulder.
When I turn around, I can see Scott standing in the tunnel, surrounded by reporters and cameramen. My heart swells with pride when I think of the money his donations raised. I make my way to the tunnel, fighting my way through the crowd. Through the maze of bodies, it takes a few minutes to make it clear to the other side of the arena. I finally reach the tunnel entrance and am about to approach when I see the woman standing by Scott’s side. She’s leaning into him and holding his hand.
The sight of Scott with his former girlfriend causes a flood of emotions to wash over me. Confusion. Hurt. Anger. From this distance, I can see that she’s the aggressor in this scenario, and while that should make me feel better, it doesn’t. All it does is serve to remind me of his encounter with Rachel all those years ago. I want so badly to march up to them and demand an explanation, and I totally should, because I think I deserve one after the way we left things between us last night. I thought we were both on the same page, but I guess I was wrong. I’m leaving tomorrow and God only knows what will take place then. Scott’s going to be surrounded by bunnies and former girlfriends, while I’ll be hundreds of miles away, completely clueless.
It was foolish of me to think we could have any kind of long distance relationship when there are always going to be women around him who can’t keep their hands off him. I can’t compete with that. They’re a present warm body, and all I’ll be is a voice on the other end of the phone. Scott deserves more than that. And so do I.
So, I do the only logical thing I can think of. I turn around and walk away. I sneak one last glance and tell myself that’s the last time, but something in my heart tells me I’ll always be looking back. I’ll probably never get over Scott Rivers, but for the sake of my heart, I should probably start learning how.
I call the airline and learn there’s a flight leaving in two hours. I book a seat and race back to my apartment. I call for an Uber and leave my rental car in the apartment’s parking lot. I walk across the hall to place the small box and a note outside Scott’s door, pausing to splay my fingers over the cool wood. Despite the pain I’m feeling, I don’t regret one single second of our time together. Maybe Ash had been right. Maybe we were each other’s unfinished business and we were just fooling ourselves by thinking it was anything more than that.
By the time I make it through airport security, I have fifteen minutes before my plane boards. I reach for my phone and find I’ve missed a call and have three texts from Scott.
Babe? Where are you?
Answer your phone. This isn’t funny.
Skylar?
I decide I can’t talk to him right now, so I choose the coward’s way out and throw his own words at him before turning off my phone.
I think we need some time apart.
As silly as it seems, the old bruise on my heart feels just as fresh as it did all those years ago. I tell myself if I’m feeling this way about a situation I don’t have an explanation for, then how will I feel the next time something occurs? Because I know there will be a next time. With guys like Scott, there will always be a next time.
Right?
CHAPTER 25
SCOTT
When Ashley wraps her fingers around my arm, it takes nearly every ounce of strength I possess to keep a smile on my face. My first instinct is to rip her hands away and ask what the fuck she’s doing, but then I think better of it, because that probably wouldn’t look very professional. The last thing I want to do is draw bad publicity before my season with the Devils even begins. So, I do my best to maintain a smile while answering question after question about my connection to Josh, but it’s hard as fuck. Now that Skylar and I have been intimate, another woman’s touch is unwelcome and feels downright wrong. No matter how familiar it is. I wait for the press to turn their attention to Coach Bishop before I quietly pull Ashley down the hall and out of sight.
“You mind explaining what the fuck that was about?” I hiss through clenched teeth.
She peers up at me, innocently batting her lashes as a sinister smile appears. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Can a girl just be proud of her man?”
Her man?
“I’m not your fucking man!” I snarl. “What the hell do I need to do to make y
ou understand it’s over between us? It’s been over since December.”
“I know you keep saying that, but that’s not what you were saying two weeks ago in the bathroom.” She tries running a hand over my chest, but I grab her wrist and shut her down.
“That never should have happened. I was drunk and obviously not using my head,” I scowl. “There is no way in hell we’re ever getting back together, for sex or otherwise. I don’t want to have this conversation with you ever again.”
Anger flashes in her eyes and the corners of her mouth turn down. “It’s because of her, isn’t it? Don’t bother denying it. I saw the two of you on your Insta. She’s why you don’t love me anymore.”
“Leave her out of this,” I threaten before my eyes search the area for any sign of Skylar.
“Oh, my God. You actually have feelings for her, don’t you? How do you go from someone like me to someone like… Her?” she asks with disgust.
Her question hangs ugly in the air, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. This is the same kind of bullshit Sky’s had to put up with her entire life. From bitchy high school girls to asshole jocks who cared about only one thing. Hell, her own mother had been guilty of it. All of them made it their goal in life to treat the Skylars of this world as if they aren’t worthy. As if they are somehow less than them.
I’m through allowing it to happen.
“Shut up, Ashley.” I get right up in her face so she’ll get a good look at my eyes when she hears my next words. “I could never be with someone like you again. When we were together, all you ever did was manipulate me and want me to change into something you approved of. Christ, that’s not love, Ashley. I’ll never allow myself to be treated that way again. I don’t need to pretend to be anyone else. Skylar accepts me for who I am, and that’s why I love her.”